(*In response to men’s take on nipple stimulation and what they like.*)
Got into an interesting debate on the difference between porn & erotica last night. Especially in regard to how the female body is treated for the sake of men’s ogling. Erotica is much more women-friendly than porn, especially with all the rampant crap that is available on the internet. Female-centered erotica with real orgasms is the hallmark of IFeelMyself.com. Every (straight / bisexual) man should watch some of that. :)
Kissing and sucking a man’s nipples is a true delight for me. I mean, I really love it. I do chest worship on a man — cupping the chest / pectoral muscle with my hands, massaging the skin, muscle, and nerves, while sucking the nipple — the way men like to suck female breasts. LUV LUV LUV doing that! But the guys I’ve tried it on said it felt weird (in a bad way) to them, or that it didn’t do anything for them. Either they weren’t allowing themselves to enjoy it (too “feminine” perhaps?), or I had really lousy technique (which I doubt, but anything’s possible).
The treatment of the breasts is one of my main oppositions to porn. My ex-husband once (and only once) lifted one of my breasts and dropped it like I know he’d seen in porn. I couldn’t believe he did that!! Or that he thought that would feel good?!! But he’d seen it in porn, and those women “liked” it (because they were directed to react that way and they were paid to pretend to like it, moron!). It hurt incredibly, and I felt it was horribly disrespectful to me and to my body. (Later, he would make a comment about my breasts that cut me to my core — the kind of thing that is just not forgivable and will never be forgotten (it is etched in my soul), and I knew then he had never respected me as a woman or my body as something sacred and special. I was a possession to him. Wish I’d realized that a long time before then…)
And back on the topic of breastfeeding a child — Yes, some women experience a closeness to their child, but not all of us. At least, not when you spend 45 minutes every two hours having small gums cutting your flesh as they try to feed. Some women even orgasm while breastfeeding. So it might be comfortable for other women, but it sure wasn’t for me. I still have the scars. So “rock on!” to the women who enjoy breastfeeding — I didn’t, but that was my personal experience.
As for the light flicking of a tongue across my nipples, yes that can send a “zing” down south, but I love feeling a man’s warm, wet mouth full-on sucking my breasts. This can bring practically instant cervical / Kundalini orgasms. Delicious! And don’t forget — the underside of the female breast (below the nipple-areola complex) is rife with nerve endings just waiting to be stimulated by gentle caresses and nibbling and kisses!
That book, Tantric Orgasm for Women, made so much sense! (Will write a review soon!) As we know, the nipples are wired directly to our lady’s loins, so I truly believe the breasts are the gateway to female orgasm. Breast worship is a lovely beginning to the main event, anyway. Also, Tantra teaches that, in women, the upper lip is also wired directly to the clitoris, so kissing her upper lip, or letting her kiss you all over has lots of side benefits for her and for you. (For men, the lower lip is connected to his genitals.)
And thanks for the info that men’s nipples seem to be wired to the perineum / anal area. Good tip! I have done perineal massage on myself in the past, but didn’t notice much.
In the past few weeks, I’ve noticed a bit more in the perineum, as well as the nerve endings around my anus. Beyond adding a little pressure to the (external) perineum, I’m not sure what else to do. I am beginning to explore the perineal sponge (inside) a bit more — really loving the initial explorations! And with a couple fingers in my vagina playing with my She Spot, my pinky keeps finding its way to my anus. A slippery slope (quite literally!), but I’m not ready to mix the two (vaginal & anal) yet. I will eventually, but sometimes it already seems like so much “work”. :-)
And I really appreciate men being so willing to talk about all this from your male perspective. You give cynical women like me a reason to hope for the male of the species.
And thank you for putting up with my bouncing around on topics. Writing in “stream of consciousness” is my forte`, and I like to share something new when the thought arises… Now, if one of yous guys can tell me why men grab their own ass during sex, I just might be set for a while…
Aroused and zinging,
(*In response to a gentleman’s comment about nipple stimulation.*)
I’d LOVE to hear what nipple stimulation “techniques” are most preferable to men — gentle squeezing of the nipple, stroking of the nipple-areola complex? Something stronger? Pectoral massage? Hmmm?
Unfortunately, I think most young guys get their notion of how to treat breasts from watching porn. Personally, the way men (and women) treat breasts in porn is down right horrible, in my opinion. Clearly porn is for the male voyeur who doesn’t realize that such man-handling HURTS! If you watch the women on IFeelMyself.com, you can see how real women treat their breasts. It’s very loving — even when we’re highly aroused, we are NOT rough, groping, pawing, lifting / dropping the breast(s). OUCH!
It’s weird to talk about breasts because usually (for me) it is in a negative way due to many negative experiences with men (who like to grope things that aren’t theirs). But I am now in a much better place emotionally and mentally with my breasts because of doing sensual massage (and yoni massage down lower has been amazingly rewarding), and generally realizing my breasts aren’t the enemy (and neither are men ).
When you hate one part of your body, it’s difficult to love yourself as a whole — you feel separated from an intrinsic part you. Breastfeeding my daughter actually pushed me further from my breasts emotionally because it was not a good experience for me (though, I would do breastfeeding again because it is the best source of nutrition for a child).
But if other women can re-examine their relationship with their breasts, or their clitoris, their vulva, vagina, female prostate(!!!), et al, then the we can heal individually, and that will help women heal as a community. Just imagine the energy shift and power surges if every woman in the world actually LOVED herself?!
Aroused and massaging,
Haven’t done KSMO is several days — need to do it tonight. I haven’t attempted another full-on solo sex session since the other morning when I couldn’t finish because it was too powerful. Maybe I need time to integrate (in-to-great?) the new energy and awareness.
Tonight, I talked about my current feelings in regard to my awakened female prostate. Basically, she’s been letting me know she’s on simmer and not actually dormant, which was how I first perceived the “lull” when it would happen every 3 to 4 days. She knows I can’t play on weekends, so she’s waiting, but says “HI!” every time I go to the bathroom.
Tomorrow, I may need some grounding of energy. I’m home alone and the neighbors are at work. I’ve really started loving Mondays.
So instead of being weird, maybe I’m just “wired”???
Aroused and wired,
*** Read Part 1 ***
Finally, when I was able to get up, my whole body felt lighter, like I was still floating, but I had trouble walking and keeping my balance for the rest of the day and night. I was totally off kelter — but it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. I just made sure to walk along walls so I could hold onto something to keep me steady.
Also, a little while after the Big O, around 3:30 p.m., I went to the bathroom, and for the first time ever, I think I orgasmed while urinating. Now, I’m not into kinky things, so this has never been a fantasy of mine. But now that I think it’s happened, I can certainly say I look forward to it again.
My female prostate (FP) was primed from the huge orgasm less than an hour before, so in needing to go to the bathroom, I was having that pleasurable “need to go” feeling I’d started experiencing a few weeks ago. The “orgasm” started as soon as I started urinating, my FP felt like she was expanding and expanding in a pain/pleasure way (but no real pain). Just then, the waves shot up my spine over and over again (feeling kinda Kundalini-like), and my scalp tingled like a thousand tiny fingers were vibrating on my head.
These feelings (the orgasm?) lasted the entire time I urinated. Afterward I just sat there because it was like the tingles went straight through me, and back again, and started over. It seemed like the usual after-shocks of an orgasm … and I just couldn’t move for a few minutes.
I’m almost afraid of the next door this sexual energy work will open — but that isn’t in a bad way (I don’t think). Jack said this is “Terror at the Gates,” which is a Fu Dog (a.k.a. Foo Dog or Fu Lions), guarding the Temple of Exquisite Delight. In doing research on my own, the Fu Dogs / Lions are protecting me, not preventing me from experiencing the next level of cosmic orgasm.
I’m excited to see, feel, and experience what awakening comes next, but I just don’t know if I’m ready yet. I want to get a handle on this that I’m experiencing before I cross another threshold. I still can’t go “straight through” without stopping because it’s so powerful. Then there are those days like Sunday where I’m slightly disappointed because my body seemed so in tune with arousal, but then it “slipped a gear” and went straight to the after-orgasm contractions / spasms.
Jack said that when I get near the Gate and the Fu Dogs, I can “just wink at them as old friends pointing the way into the Temple of Exquisite Delights!” So I’m in training for facing the Gate, and I’ll bring the Fu Dogs some doggie biscuits…
Aroused and tingling,
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I have a little more to report but it is similar to my previous journal entry on my expanding awareness and experiences with awakening my female prostate and the wonders it is slowly revealing to me. But I don’t want to seem redundant — it’s not exactly the same ol’ song, but perhaps a variation on a theme.
With the Turkey holiday, I was not at home by myself during the days last week, so my KSMO practice dropped to nill. By Sunday, the schedule was almost normal (because school would be back in session for my daughter Monday). So Sunday night, I decided to enjoy some solo sex as it was my day off from KSMO, and I was off my moon (Auntie Flo had left the building!). My female prostate was buzzing back to life, and I was just plain horny.
I don’t know what happened, but I enjoyed the upswing to orgasm and the after orgasm, but somehow missed the explosion of the orgasm itself. It reminded me of my old She-Spot orgasms (She-Spot stimulation only) where the build up can blend into the after-orgasm without that “cresting of the wave” or as I term it, the “explosion” of the orgasm.
But this on Sunday, almost felt like a let-down. Although it was deliciously pleasurable, without that “cresting” at the top of the wave/orgasm, all I got was the denouement. But I kept stimulating, wanting to come “again” — and this time feel it. But I stayed in the after-O state for a good 20 minutes before I just gave up. Now, please know, this all felt really good. In the after-orgasm phase, I’m still highly aroused, making sounds, rapid breathing, legs shaking constantly, everything pulsating and contracting. I just really love that explosive part of orgasm.
Then Monday, I really felt my female prostate all day. When I went to the bathroom, my FP (female prostate) was pleasurably noticeable. Around 2:00 p.m., I figured I’d skip the 20-minute KSMO practice and just take care of my FP which seemed to really want some attention. So I did.
As in the previous post, stimulating my prostate (just the finger pumping of the FP, no clit stim) for 10 seconds at a time was more than I could handle. I had to stop 3 times. Again, I thought I’d just use my penis-shaped vibe (minus the vibration) to achieve orgasm, assuming it would be less intense than the FP/finger pumping. AGAIN, I was wrong. I couldn’t handle that either.
I would start the finger pumping — instantly , my hips shot up off the bed, I was whining/moaning, and I didn’t last more than 10 seconds — literally. I stopped, my hips dropped to the bed, and I was panting, out of breath as if I’d just run up 10 flights of stairs. I’ve never felt anything like this. Ever.
So I gathered my courage and attempted it again — with the same results: hips reaching to the ceiling, me whining/moaning, unable to stand the intense pleasure erupting from my prostate. I stopped, dropped to the bed, and panted.
Determined to conquer whatever this was, I went for it a third time with the same results — again — after only 10 seconds — again.
I brought my fingers out of my vagina. Panting. I was not sure what to do next, but I suddenly started crying. I was feeling all the great pre- and post-O arousal I normally feel but at the same time.
Finally, I decided to just go for it. I didn’t care about the neighbors or if anyone could hear me. I made sounds I’ve truly never made before, felt things I’ve never felt before, and I wanted it to go on forever. I wouldn’t have minded if I didn’t have the explosion part of orgasm because, frankly, I didn’t know if I’d survive it. But if I’m gonna go, I figured this would be a great way to die. :-)
When the explosion happened, I almost sprang off the bed. I burst into a million stars and floated up. I was there with the Universe. I was the Universe. It was absolutely indescribable, the feelings of being connected to everything at once, infinite joy, love, peace — just as I’d felt in my dream / astral experiences.
My physical body burst into gut-wrenching tears, and I cried uncontrollably, heaving sobs my body is not used to emitting. My body was doubled over, then jerking back into tension-filled arches, then doubling over again, over and over, convulsing from the emotion of what I had just experienced — all while I was still orgasming from the emotions springing from my core, my awakened prostate, and experiencing this uterine orgasm for the first time.
I don’t know how long the orgasm lasted — yes, I kept going with the vibrationless-vibe because for me, stopping the stimulation at or just after orgasm feels like having my soul plucked out from under me. So I kept going through the post-orgasms — the quaking after-shocks of hundreds of smaller orgasms and contractions of the clit, She-Spot, cervix, uterus, anus, legs shaking, hands and feet buzzing with energy. Except these weren’t smaller like they usually are — they were intense. I finally stopped because it was so powerful I actually thought I might really die from the pleasure — a full-body heart chakra attack… and I was blubbering like an idiot.
This experience seemed to last forever, but looking at the clock it was only 2:45. How could I have experienced “forever” in less than 40 minutes? And to be honest, I really needed a big hug. Sometimes being alone truly is lonely.
*** Read Part 2 of this journal entry. ***
Aroused and awakening,