As a survivor of sexual abuse, I have always pondered why most people think rapists and sexual abusers are “the boogey man,” a scary, terrifying, stranger who lurks in alleys and dark parking lots stalking their next victim, the unwitting stranger.
Statistics show that most sexual abuse victims know their abuser and most abusers appear to be just like everybody else. No one would ever suspect the abuser because of what he looks like, his type of job, the amount of money he makes, or having what many consider to be the picture-perfect family.
Sexual abuse is not a sexual act. Rape is a heinous act of aggression for reasons other than sex, often out of jealousy or a control freak need to prove something — the worst kind of power-trip. Women have been on the receiving end of systematic sexual abuse since the rise of patriarchal religion and governments and have often been powerless to get justice due to the religion or regime’s indifference to the victims’ plight. The victims had no rights.
In fact, rape and sexual aggression have long been viewed as the right of the male, “punishing” his wife as he saw fit, just as he could beat, whip, or kill any other piece of property he owned. Or worse, after defeating an enemy on the battlefield, raping the enemy’s women was just a part of the victor’s spoils of war.
In the 21st century, 40 years past the women’s movement, continued outrage over the Catholic Church’s pedophile priests, and the outing of bullying against LGBT youth, one area of awareness that has yet to see the light of day is the widespread sexual abuse within the United States military. The cover-up of the abuse is pervasive, and the victims have been shamed while their rapists received promotions and medals of honor.
The women who join the military do so to contribute their skills to protecting our country and to provide for their families. Our military is supposed to be the defender of the United States’ Constitution, our Bill of Rights, our laws, and our ideals of freedom, justice, and liberty. These women did not join the military to be abused or ridiculed when they reported the abuse. No one ever suspects that the “boogey man” is the man working beside you, or your boss, or a respected member of society, such as a “war hero.”
The new independent film, The Invisible War, has lifted the veil off the United States military’s cover-up of sexual abuse within the U.S. military branches — a true “War on Women.” With a country that is tired of war and suspicious of government officials, The Invisible War exposes the extent of sexual abuse in the United States’ military with video testimonies from the victims juxtaposed with the abusers’ being awarded accolades and promotions — jobs and pay raises all paid for by our tax-dollars.
Having won the 2012 Audience Award at the prestigious Sundance Film Festival, this film should win the Academy Award for “Best Documentary.” If you get the chance to see this film, DO IT. See it. Share the clip below on every social networking platform you are on.
The Invisible War opens in select cities today including New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and most appropriately, in our nation’s capital, Washington, D.C. The film will open around the U.S. throughout the summer. For cities and theater listings, visit The Invisible War’s website.
Raping a woman is not a man’s “right.” Ever.
With all the vaginal hooplah in Michigan over a proposed bill that limits reproductive rights for women, mainstream media did not make as big a fuss over men’s reproductive rights being put on the chopping block.
Michigan state legislator Barbara Byrum had proposed an amendment to the same House bill that would severely hinder a women’s pro-choice rights in Michigan. However, her amendment was devised to make a point about the sexist misogyny overtaking American politics. She proposed that men would have to provide proof of a medical emergency or that a man’s life was in imminent danger in order for a doctor to perform a vasectomy.
The floor leader gaveled her out of order and refused to let her speak. Apparently, limiting women’s choice to reproduce is okay, but men should not have similar choice restrictions put on their genitals.
Byrum wanted to make a point about the over-reaching legislation of the bill in question. She protested being censored and released this statement:
“I was ignored by the majority floor leader and not allowed to speak on my amendment which would have held the same standards for men and women when it comes to legal, voluntary procedures in reproductive health and now I am being silenced for standing up for women. This is yet another example of this Republican majority’s misogynistic and cowardly tactics.”
The sad truth is that the narrow-minded GOP in Michigan is only one faction of misogynist oppressors wanting to prohibit female human beings from making basic choices about their lives and their bodies. 2012 is shaping up to be a very important year indeed.
The War On Women wages on…
I got a surprise few days off from motherhood duties this week, and it afforded me some much-needed quality time with my lady’s loins. It’s not that I can’t spend time with them — I do, but not like I really want to with my loud exclamations of pleasure. My orgasms have been in stealth mode, and I’ve been trying to incorporate the stunning energy from a couple of weeks ago — when I was having the spontaneous O’s — with my everyday-pretend-to-be-a-normal-person-and-not-a-sexually-charged-wild-woman charade.
Having to adopt the “responsible mom” persona that is expected of me really puts a damper on that energy, though I discovered that underneath my walls I must put up for polite society, the energy is still very much there, bubbling and brewing well beneath the surface, but still reachable whenever I want it.
With the apartment empty and my downstairs neighbor on vacation, I decided it was time to bring out the purple vibe (sans batteries) and just go for a good ol’ loud session. I noticed that the sensations during arousal were not localized to the genitals but felt more “full” or “filling” throughout the lower abdominal/pelvic area. My abs have started going crazy during arousal and climaxing, but my legs are not shaking. And during the nipple stim/clit orgasms, I invariably turn toward my left side, so I’m assuming this is all more integration of techniques and energy.
The orgasms with the toy were different though. As I wrote earlier, the spontaneous orgasms were “blunt,” and the arousal and orgasms with the toy were, for lack of a better word, blunt. They were “through” me — no clitoral explosion, just riding the wave up, up, up, as it crested, then floating there in the orgasms, and riding it back down. Still delicious, just different.
The orgasms were emotional — I love this kind. This is why I use the toy, to reach the A-spot to trigger the uterine orgasm that is so very deep and personal and emotional. These orgasms now feel… thorough… like I’ve experienced every feeling imaginable from wanting and horniness, to arousal and raising of energy, through the orgasms, into the emotional recesses of my mind and heart and the deep, inner, primal response of my body, to the throbbing denouement of smaller orgasms, and finally into the blissful purring of satiation.
I feel a little disappointed when I don’t experience this full cycle — the emotion has become very important to my sense of sexual self. Maybe it’s just that time of life because I have been emotional during the day and occasionally at night as I work through things while I face this fork in the road.
Using the toy, my average time from start to finish is about 8 minutes, though I’ve clocked in at 6 minutes a few times, and will go 9 to 11 minutes if I’m being leisurely about it. I’m always surprised by the length of time it actually takes because while it’s happening it seems much longer. In fact, sometimes, I get into some mind noise thinking, “If I were with a guy right now, he’d be getting annoyed this was taking so long.” So then I feel pressure on myself to hurry up and make it happen.
Even though I’m not with a partner right now, I sometimes approach all of this like an athlete in training for the orgasm Olympics. I want to be ready when this dude enters my life. And taking 11 “whole” minutes to climax just might disqualify me from making the final round…
Of course, I’m only half kidding, here. Any man who wouldn’t give me 11 minutes start to finish is not worth my time and energy. And since I will require breast worship and sensual massage and other goodies first, if he’s impatient, he’ll get his ass bounced out the door. And yet, I do get the occasional mind fuzz. “If I take too long, he’ll get bored.” He might get bored anyway since all the good stuff is happening inside where he can’t see… until right before and through the orgasms when it’s rocking and rolling time.
Expectation is the opposite of non-attachment and rooted in competition, adrenaline, yang, testosterone aspects that I’m trying to move out of. I guess this is just another sign that I am a work in progress, as is my sexual awakening.
Aroused and trying to be more yin,
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Continuing with the GOP’s #WarOnWomen, the Speaker of the Michigan State Representatives and fellow right-wing conservatives got their knickers in a twist yesterday when Democratic Representative Lisa Brown used the word “vagina” while talking about her proposed amendment to an abortion bill.
After mentioning some controversial points of fact in the Jewish religion that actually support abortion when the life of the mother is affected, Brown went on to say the following:
“I have not asked you to adopt and adhere to my religious beliefs. Why are you asking me to adopt yours? And finally Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.’”
Apparently, the GOP reps didn’t cotton to vile, dirty talk such as the Latin, scientific term, “vagina.” One RWNJ commented, “It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”
Brown was banned from speaking in the following discussion or the following day. Notice, this is now a First Amendment issue — an American citizen’s Freedoms of Speech and Expression are being directly assaulted and prohibited by the government!
At a press conference, Brown said, “If I can’t say the word vagina, why are we legislating vaginas?”
Currently, a protest of this ridiculous GOP tactic his appening on Twitter. If you have a Twitter account, hashtag the word vagina, so we can get it to trend: #vagina.
My response was this:
Another Tweep summed it up perfectly:
Here’s the video of Brown’s speech on the House floor:
AND I’m in talks with my branding firm about a radio show devoted to Women’s Rights & Sexuality — everything I write about here on AW blog. (Yes, I’ll still talk about female orgasm!)
So stay tuned for all the awesomeness that is in the works. And please share this blog with everyone you know.
The female body is beautiful, and it’s high time we talked about the body and her natural functions and incredible capabilities out in the open like adults. It’s really the only way we’ll ever earn respect — to respect our selves first.
May the vagina be with you!