DailyOJ 08-08-12, Part 1: My 1-Year Anniversary as a Whole Orgasmic Woman
I have been looking forward to August 8th for a long, long time… 69 days to be exact. With the child’s school back in session and my days fully mine again, I have the freedom to pursue my body’s orgasmic capabilities that I feel are impossible at nighttime due to living in a small apartment.
What most people do at night, in the dark, to release tension to go to sleep, I do in the afternoon, in the daylight, to expand my awareness of my body and all she can do when plugged into this higher vibration. While I loathe the 6 a.m. alarm going off on weekday mornings, I can now reacquaint myself with my self in the afternoons.
Since I began my KSMO training last August, I have become amazingly multi-orgasmic in ways I never imagined thanks to this sound-based energy-raising multi-orgasmic practice (no genital touching required!). Adding in the clit-centric OM touch opened my orgasmic world-view wider, allowing me to experience full-body orgasms with the slightest touch of the clitoris (no hard, fast circles required!!!). Using both KSMO and OM in tandem has completely transformed my existence as a sexual woman.
Prior to last August, I had taken 6 months off from using a vibrator because my clit could not feel anything without strong vibration — When I touched my clit, rubbed my clit, did hard circles or even deep pressure, my clit felt nothing. In the past 18 months, I’ve gone from needing an ever-stronger vibrator to feel any sensation at all in my over-vibrated clit to throwing my Hitachi Wand in the dumpster, knowing I will never use a vibrator ever again!!!
My prostate hit an all-time high in November, with an encore engagement in January, then slowly faded. Though she’s still crucial to my overall orgasmic experience, she is no longer a headliner but more of a principal ensemble cast member (that is not an insult, BTW). I even experienced incredible orgasms while urinating. I also went back to using both hands during masturbation, experiencing the subtle and startling changes in the vagina during prostate stimulation, and usually staring at the ceiling afterward in complete amazement at my body.
My body during orgasm has changed dramatically from crunching forward for the average, localized blended orgasm of the past to sudden back-arching, knee raising Kundalini orgasms with abdominal clenching, torso twisting, hips off the bed, leg-kicking mind-blowing energy surges into cosmic bliss on top.
I had thought the summer break would force my newfound full-body multi-orgasms into exile as I put away my purple silicone boyfriend, Sparkles, for the duration. My once-quiet Sparkles’-assisted orgasms were a thing of the past as I’m now a moaning, hollering wild woman when the Big O’s hit. I also feared my gut-wrenching emotional orgasms would drift into bittersweet nostalgia. I dreaded the prospect of losing everything I had gained.
However, I should not have feared! My orgasms changed once Sparkles was in lock-down, but these new kinds of orgasms became truly ecstatic in their own right. Amazing! I experienced what I call stealth orgasms that literally take 1 second to induce and leave me breathless. This quickly led to spontaneous orgasms and at-will-just-thinking-about-orgasms orgasms — not to be confused with heartgasms or my deskgasm experiences.
These stealth and spontaneous O’s were truly a life-changing level of orgasm. These carried me through the 69 days Sparkles-less solitude. By happy happenstance, I was able to get a few dates with Sparkles during the summer, which made those orgasms even more special, and actually punctuated the differences between those and the stealth O’s.
More than that, I have truly integrated my body and my self into my orgasmic experience. No longer friggin’ off my clit to numbing soreness just to get an O so I can sleep at night, I had to make changes to my perspective in many, many ways in order to even do the practice in the broad daylight.
I’ve made peace with my breasts and started experiencing crazy energy in my scalp and legs and even through my torso. I’ve experienced the waxing and waning of orgasmic thresholds as well as the reminder to be patient. I’ve finally attained an understanding of being fully mindful, in the moment, and non-attached to the outcome. These waking experiences even entered my dreams and subconscious awareness.
The only problem with any of my “higher gripes” is that I don’t have anyone I can ask about all these specific experiences in their totality. I’ve chatted with OM-maven Nicole Daedone on Facebook. Jack, the discoverer of KSMO, is great to chat with, and he’s the master of KSMO. Yet, I can’t help but wonder how other women experience something like this, particularly combining a sound-based energy path like KSMO with the barely-there clit-touch of OM.
Some revelations were not so somber. I found out that my vaginal fluids taste like dessert (to me), that my cervix has a mind of her own. Since joining Twitter, I have met like-minded folks who allow me my occasional Irish rants on the topics of all things vagina, sex, and women’s empowerment. One fake rant led to the best fake smackdown ever on Twitter. I’ve even waxed poetic about Cherokee Men — and speaking of waxing, I’ve gotten some serious heat over my preference for shaved genitalia and for my open questioning of BDSM.
Interestingly, all of this time spent on Twitter has not been a waste of time or brain cells, as I originally feared. I’ve learned that women and men are yearning for this kind of information, and I am all too glad to boldly go where no orgasm has gone before. And it helps me to talk with other people of their experiences, to encourage them to make their own discoveries and make peace with their own bodies and their inner selves — and more importantly, help men to love and understand their female partner more.
August 8, 2011 was my first post on the KSMO forum since returning — life post-Katrina brought on PTSD that I needed to deal with first. This date then — August 8th — became my multi-orgasmic anniversary — the date I can pinpoint as a time when I began my journey to being multi-orgasmic and wound up transforming my body, mind, and self-identity into being a whole woman.
Mainly, I’m just happy. That seems trite, but it’s true. I was only able to start this journey because I put myself and my happiness first. I hated my life for many years thanks to my miserable marriage, Hurricane Katrina, and just living for other people and not my self. Not anymore. I love myself; I love my body and what she can do. I’m now weeks away from turning 40 on September 29th, and I’ve lost more weight — still working on the cellulite and stretchmarks.
With all that I still have to work on and discover, I’m still very happy. In fact, all in all, life is very wonderful.
*** Stay tuned for Part 2 of today’s DailyOJ! ***
Aroused and resuming my path,