Arts, Activism, Awakening in Mind, Body, & Spirit

Archive for December, 2012

OpEd: Wounded Knee 1890 – U.S. Still Wages #WarOnWomen


Wounded Knee Museum South Dakota Black HillsDecember 29th is a day of mourning for all American Indian tribes and should be a day of disgrace for the United States.

On December 29, 1890, the 7th Cavalry sought revenge for Custer’s loss at the Little Big Horn by attacking Chief Big Foot’s band with rapid-fire Hotchkiss guns and mounted soldiers thirsty for blood.  The Army assassinated unarmed Lakota men and set out on horseback to chase down the women and children trying to run away in below-freezing temperatures.

It was so cold in fact, the bodies of Big Foot and his Lakota tribe were left on the ground where they died and had to be dug out from the snow by the U.S. soldiers, who then threw them into mass graves.

The massacre of the Cheyenne at Sand Creek in 1864 was a brutal display of evil wearing self-righteous’ clothing.  Newspapers of the day described how the U.S. soldiers paraded through town wearing their spoils of war, including scalps of  male warriors and fetuses they’d carved out of pregnant Cheyenne women’s uteruses, worn around the soldiers’ necks with pride as if each “trophy” were a fashionable scarf.

Thirty years before, the Eastern and Southern tribes had been made to walk the Trial of Tears, leaving the lush, tree-covered rolling hills of their ancient stomping grounds to walk more than a thousand miles to the alien, barren land of what is now Oklahoma.  This was preceded by decades of Indian wars over land that the indigenous tribes could not fathom as being “owned.”  The tribes with whom the U.S. was now at war had been the real reason America won its independence from the British to begin with.  And even before the American Revolution, the Puritans’ massacres of the Pequot resulted in the murders of mostly women, children, and elderly by setting fire to their village.

American history is littered with murders and atrocities that earned U.S. soldiers Medals of Honor.

I’ve been to the Knee.  It is a haunting, sacred place.  But then, all of this land is sacred — rich and beautiful.  Which is why the American government would do anything to steal every square inch of it.

Considering the hatred our governmental leaders have shown women in 2012, am I really surprised that American soldiers chased pregnant and elderly women for 2 miles along a frozen river, shooting them all for sport?  Or that pregnant Cheyenne women were butchered?  Or women and children burned alive?  No.  Militant oppressors always target women because women give birth to the next generation.  We give birth to their future enemies.

What surprises me is that in 2012, ignorant baffoons like Rush Limbaugh can call a woman a slut, and we’re outraged, but he calls a scholar a “squaw” and no one blinks.  (Hint:  “Squaw” is a horrible, degrading term for an indigenous woman’s genitals.  How degrading?  Call a black person the “N” word.  It’s about like that.)  Right now, Chief Theresa Spence is on a hunger strike in an effort to help the indigenous people of Canada, and yes, women and children make up a good number of those for whom she’s fighting — starving herself — to get a meeting with Canada’s Prime Minister.

The #WarOnWomen is not new.  Patriarchal politics and religions have always hated women and our inherent strength.  I’m white, but I’m a woman and a mother.  To be targeted because of a woman’s gender always hits too close to home.  The insanity and irrationality of racism is mind-boggling to me.  But remembering the past can help us come together and end this misogynist tyranny once and for all.

Remember the Knee.  We are all connected.  Be the change.

trish

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Anatomy: Female Ejaculation and Woman’s Ability to Conceive


Female Ejaculation - Prostate Orgasm Up CloseI came across a great site about yoni and all things Tantric for women and emotionally secure men.  The blog is by a Tantrika/Dakini who is the “real deal,” not one of the so-called “urban tantra” bullshit artists.  However, the following comment one man left on her blog shows just how little is still known about women’s anatomy and sexuality in popular culture thanks to women’s sexuality being vilified by misogynist religion and ignored in Western medicine and academia, while superstitions and myths are still rampant.

(Note:  Misspellings are left in.)

i am just curious about one thing if stimulation is done aftifically with fingers on G spot its surely making pleasure for woman but does it keep woman healthy enough to be fertile and gave birth to kids after such an act. my question is can woman still conceive or become pregnant if she is ejaculating with fingers on G spot or it odes affect its reproductive system?

(XXXXXX)

I just posted this response, and so far it hasn’t been approved — fingers crossed, it will be. :-)

Dear (XXXXXX),

You seem to be more concerned with your masculinity and virility than the woman’s pleasure. Your patriarchal, misogynist ego will be pleased to know that the female prostate’s ability to induce full-body/wave orgasms and secrete prostatic fluid has nothing to do with the viability of the woman’s eggs. If you’re concerned about being able to conceive, go get your sperm count checked before assuming any conception problem’s are the woman’s fault.

trish

Seriously.  A woman ejaculating isn’t birth control… If it were, almost every woman between the ages of 15 and 50 would be drenching the sheets — every day, twice a day!  (But please don’t let the GOP Republicans think it’s birth control ’cause they’d just criminalize that, too.)

Guys… female ejaculation is a beautiful thing.  The biggest concern you should have with helping a woman ejaculate is can you drink it all up so her love nectar isn’t wasted.

I’ve covered this all before, but let’s go over the basics of female ejaculation:

  • All women should be capable of ejaculating.  Fear of urinating is what usually stops a woman from ejaculating even if the stimulation techniques are correct.  (Other  issues that can contribute to a woman not ejaculating include being dehydrated or the emotional/psychological issues from past sexual trauma.)
  • Female ejaculate is NOT urine.  It is prostatic fluid and mostly glucose, hence its sweet flavor and labeling by the ancients as the “nectar of the gods.”
  • The amount of fluid released will vary from woman to woman — from a couple tablespoons to a couple cups of fluid, and can vary from release to release, even within the same sexual session.
  • If a woman feels pressured by her partner to ejaculate in the first place — much less burst forth a specific amount, this can activate stress hormones and prevent her from getting wet at all — even though vaginal fluid is a different cocktail than prostate fluid.

Are we clear on this?  Women experiencing mind-boggling pleasure is actually healthy  for the woman physically, emotionally, psychologically, as well as sexually.  Loving the vulva and vagina via yoni massage is one of the most beautiful  ways you can show a woman respect sexually.  And, at the risk of making men paranoid in the other direction, being able to help a woman ejaculate is super  manly!

If your woman already ejaculates on her own, ask her to show you how she does it so you can see what  she does and how  she does it.  Don’t help!!!  (Unless she asks you to.)  Just be there to lap up the delicious juices.

trish

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OpEd: Want Me to Talk Dirty? Bite Me.


Dirty Talk - Woman Talking Dirty Into a Man's EarFor some reason the topic of “talking dirty” has come up several times recently.  Apparently, men are under the assumption that women want  to talk dirty, that we like  to talk dirty, that we live  for talking dirty in bed.

What the hell?!

Actually, most women do NOT like the “talk dirty” part of sex that men addicted to porn seem to like, or men who still view women under the Maiden/Whore dichotomy — “bad” girls do what “good” girls won’t stereotype.

“Oooo, baby, yeah, fuck me. Fuck my pussy with your big fat cock, ram it in me hard…”

Really?

What does “talking dirty” do  for the man?  What purpose is it supposed to serve?

I, personally, would NEVER “talk dirty.”  “Talking dirty” is a dumbing-down affectation of porn and perpetuates the compartmentalizing of a woman into labels and categories, separating her into disparate personalities — i.e., the good-hearted, nurturing woman who is a mother couldn’t possibly be associated with the multi-orgasmic cougar in bed.  What better way to segregate the various aspects of woman than to ask her to say or do something so contrary from her everyday personality or communicative style?

Besides that, “talking dirty” is an insult to my intelligence and my extensive vocabulary as a professional writer and performer of language.

Yes, I call a penis a penis or lingam, and my vulva is my vulva or yoni.  I may call a penis a dick, but that is rare; and I say testicles and balls interchangeably.  Other than that, my vagina is my vagina, and my clit is my clit.  The anus, ass, and perineum are synonymous for both sexes.  And my breasts are breasts — NOT ANY OTHER HORRIBLE, DEGRADING TERM that MEN (and implant Barbies) USE FOR BREASTS.  BREASTS!!!  That’s what they’re called, and that’s what I call them.  Calling various parts of my anatomy by other names — particularly “dirty” slang terms — disassociates me from my body, or places my body into parts ( J. Alfred Prufrock style) as mere “things” for someone else’s  use and enjoyment, not mine.

On a side note, I will call ejaculate “cum” but having an orgasm is not “cumming” — since ejaculating and having (lots of) orgasms are two completely different functions.  And yes, my vaginal fluids ARE  the “nectar of the gods,” thank you very much!

As I wrote in my article “Me, My Breasts, and I,” I hated my breasts most of my life because of how men treated them and treated me because of them.  My body image was molded through the perspective of others who did not value me as a person or my body as the physical extension of my self.  It took a Tantric breast meditation to integrate my breasts to my body and my sense of self, to love my body.  But now, to be considered “hot,” I have to “talk dirty”?  Fuck that!

Why would I talk “dirty” when there’s nothing dirty  about sex or being sexual?  As I say on Twitter ALL THE TIME:  “The human body is beautiful.  Sex is beautiful.”

I’m beginning to think that the concept of “talking dirty” is for the sole purpose of distancing the partners from an emotional  connection — to keep the sex as just physical as opposed to an opportunity to experience beautiful, mind-blowing orgasms.  Even fuck-buddies can have a great connection beyond the physical orgasm — without the “complications” of the dreaded “relationship.”  Even Tantra partners who are not “in love” would never “talk dirty” — that would be so disrespectful, particularly to the woman.  The man is beautiful. The woman is beautiful. The experience is beautiful.  No ramming or dirty talk required.

If you’re a woman and you actually like to talk dirty, I would love to hear from you — to hear why you like to talk dirty — and don’t say because your male partner likes it — ’cause then you’re doing it for him, not because the want and desire to “talk dirty” emanates naturally from within you.

I can’t “talk dirty” about the body or being sexual because I find them both to be wonderfully beautiful.  And I felt that way long before I began studying Tantra.

So bite me.

trish


Anatomy: Penis Size: Measuring Up to Your Woman’s Sex Toy


Glass Dildo on BreastLet’s dispel any “polite society” myths right now.  Women have sex toys.  We love them.  Straight and bisexual women love penises, too.

While most men know how long they are, a lot of men don’t seem to know how wide they are.  This is a shame since most women prefer width over length.  Many men may not realize that when women shop for sex toys, width is an important consideration.  In fact, many women buy sex toys based more on the width than the length.

A toy that is penis-shaped and 1 1/4″ wide would not be considered by most experienced women shoppers; whereas, a 2″ wide penis-shaped toy might be about as wide as a woman wants to go.  My personal toy preference is between 1-5/8″ and 1-3/4″ wide because it’s easier to handle and doesn’t wear out my wrist.

On a side note, sex toys designed to stimulate the female prostate are oftentimes more narrow and more curved than the usual dildo.  For prostate stimulation, and especially for female ejaculation, wider is not usually better.

When it comes to sex, size really does matter because too long or too wide can hurt the woman.  Better to ask up front what size toy your woman likes to use and see how you measure up to what she prefers.  This gives you an idea how compatible you two will be physically.  For instance, if her favorite toy is 1.5″ wide and you’re 1.75″ wide, you know ahead of time that extra lube and extended yoni worship may be required before insertion.  (Note: If you’re too shy to ask her about her sex toy, maybe you shouldn’t have sex with her in the first place.)

So how do you measure up to your woman’s favorite sex toy?  Here are some tips on how to measure your penis:

Use a flexible measuring tape, not a ruler.

Measuring Penis Length For length:

Measure from the base to the tip while fully erect.  Measure on the top side of the penis, from the lower abs at the pubic bone.  The vagina is only 3 to 3.5 inches in length, and can expand up to 50% when aroused.  So a penis that is 6″ long will almost bottom out.

Do NOT press in to measure!  The root of the penis inside the man’s body is rather long and can be felt (and held) below the balls at the perineum.  Don’t press in just to add an extra half inch or so to your length measurement.  Last time I checked, the woman’s pubic bone does not magically extend outward into the man’s abs during sex.

Measuring Penis Width GirthFor width:

Measure around the widest part of the fully aroused, fully erect penis to get the circumference.  Where this point is varies.  Some men are wider at the base, while some are wider in the middle, and some near the head.  Measuring the width is especially important for men who are widest in the top third of the shaft and the head, as this is the part of the penis most likely to actually be inserted into the woman.

If the head is bulbous and noticeably wider than the rest of the penis, measure the circumference of the head as well… just to know.

Now, you get to use that high school algebra you never thought you would ever need.  To get the width (diameter) of a circle (penis shaft), divide the circumference (around measurement) by pi  (3.14).

ArousedWoman.com - Man Uncut Penis Circumference Formula to Measure Penis Width

If the circumference is:

4.5″ = penis is 1.43″ wide
5.0″ = penis is 1.59″ wide
5.5″ = penis is 1.75″ wide
6.0″ = penis is 1.91″ wide
6.5″ = penis is 2.07″ wide
7.0″ = What are you? Caligula’s horse?!

I’m not saying you should steer clear of a potential partner just based on penis size, but to deny the importance of sex in the relationship is Puritanical nonsense.  Many relationships and marriages end because the sex was not pleasurable or the partners were not sexually compatible.

By the way, guys, don’t worry if you are in the long and narrow or the short and wide ranges.  Every vagina is different, so regardless of how you measure up, there is a partner for you — you just have to find her!

trish

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Anatomy: #TeamUncut Intact Natural Penis Collage for #ForeskinFriday (21+ NSFW)


Oral - Woman Kissing Uncut Penis HeadAbout a month ago, I put out the call for submissions for uncircumcised men to send in photos of their uncut penis.  Sure, I got lots of teasing on Twitter, but I was diligent in my self-prescribed duty to look through lots of penis photos to create the collages below.

The purpose of the collage is to normalize the uncut penis in an effort to end routine circumcision. Men who were circumcised as infants face a number of medical issues from pain in the penis to sexual dysfunction and loss of sensation, not to mention the women who often endure painful friction sex with cut men.  These uncut men also suffer social ridicule for looking “different,” or “nasty” or “not normal,” when in fact, the intact penis IS what is normal — the circumcised penis is what is NOT normal.

Circumcision is a barbaric, unnecessary procedure of sexual assault on a child and a gross violation of that child’s basic human right to be left whole, particularly in America where routine circumcision is so prevalent.  What’s worse is that adult circumcision has been touted as preventing transmission of AIDS and/or HIV, and that is not true.  Circumcision is blatant sexual assault carrying a Bible and wrapped in a flag — to paraphrase Sinclair Lewis’ definition of fascism.

For the collage, the men who submitted pics took photos with their phone or laptop camera.  (Maybe in the future, we can do a pro photo shoot — with me supervising! YUM.)  There is even  a photo of a restored foreskin!  Can you tell which one?  (Hint: the pic is in Photo #1.)

Below, you can see the wonderful variations in the penises’ shapes in the shaft, head, curvature, and coloration.  You will also notice how the skin covers the glans/head differently on different men and in various states of arousal.  I particularly love how the foreskin covers and even extends beyond the tip like it’s the wrapping on a present — a present for me to open… Just sayin’.

In photo #3 of the erect penises, you can see how the foreskin slides back, creating the ridged band on the anterior of the penis and the frenular delta (triangle of attached skin) on the underside of the penis head.

To join the anti-circumcision discussion leave a comment below.  Also, if you’re on Twitter, use the hastags, #i2, #nocirc, and #circumchat, and use #4skin for talking about foreskin restoration.

All photo collages are Copyright 2012 by ArousedWoman.com which is owned by Trish Causey.  If you post these photos on your own blog or social media page, do not remove the copyright notice (which I have embedded on every penis) and please provide a link in the Reply box below so I can see.  :-)

And YES, I hope to do more collages, not only on the penis, but the testicles, and to celebrate the differences in women’s vulvas, clits, and breasts.  As my mantra goes, “The human body is beautiful. Sex is beautiful. Orgasm is natural. Reject any dogma that shames what is beautiful and natural.”

To the guys who submitted photos – THANK YOU!!!

ENJOY!

trish

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Click on an image to enlarge.


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