OpEd: The Face of Orgasm: Is Your Woman Faking Orgasms or Not?
Copyright 2012 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
It’s been said that every woman fakes orgasms at some point. Well, I’m here to tell you I never did. Never. I never had an orgasm during partnered sex, and I sure wasn’t going to fake it. I made sure the guy knew I wasn’t seeing god, or cosmic rainbows, or magickal unicorns just because his penis was inside me. He could deal with his ego later.
Recently, I read a particular, highly recommended book on cunnilingus but had a difficult time finishing it. The anatomic information was mostly good, but the male writer’s anecdotes about female orgasm were peppered with sexist, rude, even misogynist remarks I simply could not overlook. Having admitted that he was bad at sex and suffered with erectile issues, the author made the egregious comment that screamers and women who throw their heads back are “obvious” orgasm fakers.
I wanted to throw the book across the room, but unfortunately, I was at a restaurant. (Yes, I read sex books while eating… lunch.)
Women are complex creatures and are, thusly, capable of complex, varied types of orgasms. It only makes sense that the body and the face would have different corresponding reactions. Yes, I said body. Were you only watching her face?
For a traditional clitoral orgasm, the orgasm is localized to the clit/genital area. The woman’s torso will most likely crunch forward. The hips/pelvis will tuck or raise up off the bed. Her face will similarly be “crunched” into a look she wouldn’t really want to make otherwise: furrowed brow, gritting the teeth, even jutting the jaw forward. (I could go into my theory on why this is but I would have to bore you with vocal science and the pedagogy of phonation.)
A vaginal/She Spot orgasm tends to be a full-body wave type of orgasm that washes over the body but lacks the explosion of the clitoral orgasm. The woman’s mouth will be open, the jaw down and back, and she may moan differently because of it. Her head may tilt backward, and she may even arch her back. Please note the vagina has numerous spots capable of various kinds of pleasure and responses.
A blended orgasm that stems from both clitoral and vaginal/She Spot simulation is one of the most sought after orgasms because of its full-body wave effect coupled with the clit explosion. This orgasm can induce both crunching forward and wild hip motions, plus arching backward, head back, and delicious moaning.
Other types of orgasms include nipple O’s, cervical O’s, orgasms of the P-spot, the K-spot, the perineal sponge, urethral/urination orgasms, anal O’s, and anywhere else on the body that she is super sensitive to touch.
Of all the physically-based orgasms, the most intense, for me, personally, is the uterine orgasm. The uterine orgasm is brought on by stimulation of the cervix and A-Spot, coincidentally stimulating the prostate/She Spot at the same time. This results in a compulsory doubling over and emotional outburst — a true gut-wrenching thrashing usually accompanied by uncontrollable crying. Not pretty crying either. So the face of this orgasm is kind of like a nervous breakdown — a bit unnerving for onlookers but soul-shatteringly amazing to experience.
These signs are for physically-based orgasms that most people can do without much effort. Use plenty of lube, work the spots, communicate — not very difficult. However, energy-based orgasms cause the body to twist and contort in ways unimaginable.
Kundalini orgasms are known for inducing a sharp, sudden, involuntary arching of the back, in both women and men. While some men consider arching the back to be a “woman’s” type of orgasm, I like to think of this phenomenon as a “human being’s” orgasmic response. For Kundalini orgasms, the mouth may be wide open, deep moans being heard, while the head is bent so far back, you might think the woman is going into a gymnast’s backbend. All of this is involuntary. (And pretty frickin’ incredible!)
So what is the face of a woman who is having real orgasms? Not something she’d want posted in the church’s Sunday bulletin, that’s for sure. If the woman can, in any way, be considered to look “pretty,” she’s not having a real orgasm.
If she is crunching forward and her face looks as if she is somewhere between “really pissed off” and “warrior queen about to rip your limbs from your body,” then she’s probably having a real orgasm. If her head is back, her mouth open, and her brow slightly to fully furrowed, that’s a great sign of a real orgasm as well. When her arms fly up over her head, don’t be offended! This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to hold on to you. Especially if her hands wind up behind her head, this is a great sign of a deep, powerful orgasm. (If you’ve read my DailyOJ, you know I can vouch for this effect.)
Her eyes may be open during clitoral orgasms, but for most other types of orgasms, her eyes will probably be closed. For myself, I’ve noticed my eyes shoot open at the onset of blended orgasms but then immediately close again through the rest of the climax/multiple orgasms. For Kundalini orgasms, my eyes are closed, head is all the way back, hands fly up over my head, and my body rocks-and-rolls side to side while my knees come up, then my legs kick out over and over again. (Just sayin’.)
Other indicators of real orgasm are legs shaking and toes/feet curling inward, energy zings down the legs, rapid breathing, and even female ejaculation.
You decide: Which one is faking and which one is real?
Along with the facial contortions or the gaping jaw and arching back, her skin will become flush due to increased blood flow, her nipples may be so perky they’re reaching for the ceiling, and her hips (hell, most of her body) will be moving involuntarily. For energy orgasms, she will probably be rockin’-and-rollin’ side to side with extra contractions and rolling through her abdominals, not just crunching forward or arching backward as during physical orgasms.
If she can speak in complete sentences, or is constantly reassuring your ego, she might be faking for your benefit. If her words are incoherent and grabbing at you is her only primal form of communication, then you might be on the right track — to helping her orgasm.
More importantly, don’t be so visual. This isn’t porn. This is a real, live woman. You need to feel her reactions. When a woman is close to orgasm, especially if any clitoral stimulation has been done, the clitoral bulbs that form a “horseshoe” over and around the vaginal opening expand with blood flow, just as the penis expands with blood flow during arousal. This feels like a vice-grip clamping down on your penis.
(Side note: My asshole ex-husband used to tell me he didn’t like the vice-grip feeling because it made him start to lose his erection… so that’s probably why I never orgasmed with him.)
Remember, guys. You cannot “make” a woman orgasm. Orgasm begins and ends in the woman’s mind — not just her brain. Stimulate her mind first and the body will follow suit. In fact, the face and body will tell you everything if your sexual relationship is rooted in honest communication.
What does your face look like in orgasm? Send me a picture, and I just might post it!
trish
DailyOJ 08-08-12, Part 2: Back on the Path
* Read Part 1 here. *
I originally bought the KSMO seminar back in 2006. Life was too stressful, and I never actually did the practice. Fast forward to August 2011, my life was calmer, happier in many aspects, and I was ready to see what all this multiple orgasm thing was all about. Coming out of a miserable marriage, I was anticipating having sex again… hopefully… at some point… in the future… before I die…. Having never orgasmed during sex, I wanted to teach my body to be multi -orgasmic so I could maybe have one orgasm during sex… at least… hopefully… before I die….
In my KSMO 20-minute sessions, I would caress my breasts for 10 minutes, then my clit for about 5 minutes, then do 5 minutes simultaneous stim of my clit and my prostate. Touching the genitals is not required for KSMO, and in fact, Jack, KSMO’s discoverer, actually recommends not touching the genitals — to caress other parts of the body. But I don’t like doing what I’m told. Quelle surprise, I know.
I also never liked the actual timing of the 20 minutes. Even getting started, I would procrastinate, just enjoying laying in bed and associating the timer with yet another alarm — my life is mostly alarms going off for one thing or another at all times of the day and night, every day of the week. Scheduling in KSMO had begun to feel like another scheduled chore rather than an opportunity for training my bliss genes. And yet, if I had not scheduled KSMO, then I would not have done it — by experience, I knew I had to schedule the sessions or they wouldn’t get done.
During the actual 20-minute session, I would inevitably look at my phone’s stopwatch with disdain, thinking, “Jeez, is it 20 minutes yet? Can I just get on to the jerking off part?” (Another thing Jack doesn’t recommend — KSMO and sex on the same day. I rarely obeyed that rule either.)
Resuming KSMO after more than two months off made me a little nervous. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had taken a two-month break in the Spring and was almost sorry I did because of my prostate’s subsequent dwindling super-powers. But I want to get back into it — to start on the next climb to the next peak of whatever the next threshold might be. (No, seriously, I’m in non-attachment, I swear!)
I laid in bed for about an hour, enjoying the calm, the CD playing softly in the background, just having some peace to myself. I knew I was going to do KSMO, but I felt no rush, no schedule to do it. I couldn’t help having some stealth O’s — after all, they’re now synonymous with my sexual identity. I can’t prevent the spontaneous O’s anyway. (Like I would try?! ) But I did not overtly go for orgasms. I caressed my body and just happened to enjoy some spontaneous O’s as well. With several rounds of those out of the way, I figured I was ready for KSMO. I felt no rush, and surprisingly, no “need” to do KSMO. I started the KSMO session when I wanted to start it. This is a huge leap in my mindset from where I had been just a few months ago! So I figured I’d do what I had done last Fall since that had worked so well. And so I began…
First Mistake ~ I brought by hands up to my breasts and as soon as my fingertips touched my pert nipples, I suddenly had 3 concurrent back-arching, knee-raising nipple orgasms. Damn…. This was how I always started out my sessions, to warm up my clit indirectly and get the energy flowing. This wasn’t going to work. On to Plan B.
Second Mistake ~ Plan B. I reached down between my legs where I brushed my fingertips lightly along the fringe of my inner labia, and a rush of heat washed up my body. I touched my fingertip to my clit in Om-touch style, and BAM! More full-body orgasms, with breathless gasps, torso twisting and thrashing, and hips off the bed. This really sucked.
How am I supposed to do my KSMO sessions now without being able to touch my favorite spots?
I decided to try what Jack actually recommends, which really annoyed me because I don’t like doing what I’m told to do. I started a gentle touch to the inside of my left thigh and felt tingles throughout the left side of my body. I remembered this from before.
Without being able to touch my breasts, my torso felt neglected. My body actually yearned for touch there. I used my hands to caress up and down the center of my torso, from my sternum — where I could feel the vibrations of the Key Sound in my chest — down to my mons pubis. I had never tried this before, and it felt weird to feel the softness of my breasts contrasted with the hardness of my nipples against the insides of my arms. My arms really liked it.
During the 20 minutes, my mind wandered occasionally, and that was okay. I was never really far from being fully mindful of my body. I mean, if I had know the insides of my arms would get turned on by feeling my nipples, I’d have done that 25 years ago! So I acknowledged the new information, filed it in my head, and moved on.
What I really noticed — and really made me happy — was the lack of negative emotion associated with my mind wandering or my body responding differently that she used to or differently than I expected. There was no expectation or reward to look forward to. The experience simply was what it was, and that was all it needed to be. This is a huge leap for me! To be more Yin, just accepting of the experiences as they happen, not processing them immediately, just experiencing them — experiencing them without the mind fuzz of guilt, regret, disappointment, or schedule-envy. Whatever happened was okay. I listened to my body and let her lead. I paid attention to my body so she could teach me what she wanted, what she needed, explore what she was now able to do, feel where she wants to go next.
At the end of the 20-minutes, I was relaxed and fully sated in the experience of self-exploration, mindfulness, and non-attachment. I did not feel the emotion of being “glad” it was over. Quite simply, the session was complete, and I was moving on to the next phase. So, then the rest is pretty mundane….
Fucked Sparkles, had boisterously loud orgasms, cried, blah, blah, blah…
Aroused and back on the path,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
DailyOJ 07-03-12: Integration, Starting Over, & Leg-gasms
I am not a patient person. I don’t like waiting. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like subtlety in most instances.
My Musical Theatre training is probably to blame.
Over the past few weeks, since my last DailyOJ post, I’ve noticed that my orgasms from nipple stimulation or the OM touch are not nearly as… sudden… as they were back in May.
I need even less stim than ever, ironically — one or two flicks of a fingertip, and the orgasms start. They are full-body and oddly satisfying, but my back isn’t arching as much — I can’t even feel my cervix dipping down anymore, or it’s too subtle to notice. The orgasms flow through my body rather than “hit” my body or “explode.” And the ceiling fan is no longer a potential mate.
Whenever a new development occurs, it is usually startlingly noticeable. So very different, so impactful that I have to notice the new reactions my body is having. Then after a month or two, the initial effects fade, or become integrated, and I have to re-learn my body all over again.
But I don’t like starting all over again… okay, it’s not starting “all” over again, but it seems that way. As soon as I learn how to drive this thing, it adds another gear I have to learn to maneuver. In fact, when I occasionally go back and read what I’ve written, I remember the experiences in the post vividly, but it feels like they happened so long ago, that it couldn’t have been just a few weeks ago?!
The couple of times I’ve had the opportunity to use my purple friend (vibe sans batteries) — a couple weeks ago and this morning, a plethora of neighbors has been home in the adjacent apartments. I am now more convinced than ever that SOUND is crucial to bliss. The arousal isn’t as satisfying when I can’t make my loud sounds — not intentionally loud, but just my natural exclamations during the arousal and orgasmic process. And when I can’t be as loud during the orgasms, the orgasms are not as full-filling. They don’t fill up my body. Because my focus is on my body (my voice) remaining inside/ internal (i.e., quiet), the orgasms are localized to the genital and lower abs area but they are not explosive, they are full body wave-like, minus the full body aspect. And they’re not as emotional. So really, I am very annoyed right now.
That being said, I did a hands-on blended O early yesterday morning that was stunning. I haven’t been spending quality time with my prostate like she deserves… seems I’ve been all over these nipple/spontaneous orgasms for the past month, and now that they’re seeming to fade in intensity, my prostate is reminding me she likes to be loved on, too.
Since I can’t be loud much anyway, this is causing me to wonder if I should put my purple friend aside for a while. My initial reaction is a horrified, “NO!” The deep thrusts hitting the AFE/A-spot is the only thing that brings on the crying/uterine orgasms… though… oddly enough, the nipple/OM orgasms have been inducing tears and a softer emotional pull (rather than the deep/core emotional response). And I can keep them going for a while — for as long as I feel like playing with my nipples or my clit. (I’ll alternate so nobody gets sore.) The whole time I feel this swirling of energy in my torso, pushing outward, sometimes upward like it wants to come out my throat/voice, but vocalizations during these kinds of orgasms are more glottal stops rather than moans — I might see if I can specifically direct that energy next time (tonight!).
And while I’m at it, I’ll just mention that I’ve had the strangest, spontaneous shooting of energy down my left leg. It happens while I’m at my desk, especially if I’ve had a scalpgasm. The energy going down is a new one for me. Since starting Kundalini work, I’ve tried to focus on energy going up the spine and down the front. These scalpgasms go around the back of my head, up, then down my neck to my back. Very different for me. Also, when I’m in bed, I will barely brush my fingernail over my left hip flexor, and the entire skin area of my left leg zings with energy — feels like a million little ants are crawling on my leg at once, only it’s not creepy like that. 
It feels tingly fabulous. (I’m getting tingles across the back of my head, and down my arms and legs just proof-reading this!)
All of this leads me to think that I’m in a down-swing, or at least in a phase of integration. The bad news is my Irish impatience is gonna get really frustrated with all this… again… I thought I was finally learning how to Yin, but this is bringing the Yang to the fore like crazy. The goal-oriented, severely attached to the outcome part of me that I had been able to subside is raising doubts, disappointments, insecurity, and fear. I don’t like this one bit.
The good news is that every time there’s been a valley, the next peak has been breathtakingly amazing. So I’m trying to keep the Irish/Yang in check for the next five weeks. We’ll see if I feel more freedom as school starts, and I’m alone during the days again.
Guess, I’ll need to stock up on potstickers till August 7th.
Aroused and integrating,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
DailyOJ 06-13-12: Great Expectations
I got a surprise few days off from motherhood duties this week, and it afforded me some much-needed quality time with my lady’s loins. It’s not that I can’t spend time with them — I do, but not like I really want to with my loud exclamations of pleasure. My orgasms have been in stealth mode, and I’ve been trying to incorporate the stunning energy from a couple of weeks ago — when I was having the spontaneous O’s — with my everyday-pretend-to-be-a-normal-person-and-not-a-sexually-charged-wild-woman charade.
Having to adopt the “responsible mom” persona that is expected of me really puts a damper on that energy, though I discovered that underneath my walls I must put up for polite society, the energy is still very much there, bubbling and brewing well beneath the surface, but still reachable whenever I want it.
With the apartment empty and my downstairs neighbor on vacation, I decided it was time to bring out the purple vibe (sans batteries) and just go for a good ol’ loud session. I noticed that the sensations during arousal were not localized to the genitals but felt more “full” or “filling” throughout the lower abdominal/pelvic area. My abs have started going crazy during arousal and climaxing, but my legs are not shaking. And during the nipple stim/OM orgasms, I invariably turn toward my left side, so I’m assuming this is all more integration of techniques and energy.
The orgasms with the toy were different though. As I wrote earlier, the spontaneous orgasms were “blunt,” and the arousal and orgasms with the toy were, for lack of a better word, blunt. They were “through” me — no clitoral explosion, just riding the wave up, up, up, as it crested, then floating there in the orgasms, and riding it back down. Still delicious, just different.
The orgasms were emotional — I love this kind. This is why I use the toy, to reach the A-spot to trigger the uterine orgasm that is so very deep and personal and emotional. These orgasms now feel… thorough… like I’ve experienced every feeling imaginable from wanting and horniness, to arousal and raising of energy, through the orgasms, into the emotional recesses of my mind and heart and the deep, inner, primal response of my body, to the throbbing denouement of smaller orgasms, and finally into the blissful purring of satiation.
I feel a little disappointed when I don’t experience this full cycle — the emotion has become very important to my sense of sexual self. Maybe it’s just that time of life because I have been emotional during the day and occasionally at night as I work through things while I face this fork in the road.
Using the toy, my average time from start to finish is about 8 minutes, though I’ve clocked in at 6 minutes a few times, and will go 9 to 11 minutes if I’m being leisurely about it. I’m always surprised by the length of time it actually takes because while it’s happening it seems much longer. In fact, sometimes, I get into some mind noise thinking, “If I were with a guy right now, he’d be getting annoyed this was taking so long.” So then I feel pressure on myself to hurry up and make it happen.
Even though I’m not with a partner right now, I sometimes approach all of this like an athlete in training for the orgasm Olympics. I want to be ready when this dude enters my life. And taking 11 “whole” minutes to climax just might disqualify me from making the final round…
Of course, I’m only half kidding, here. Any man who wouldn’t give me 11 minutes start to finish is not worth my time and energy. And since I will require breast worship and sensual massage and other goodies first, if he’s impatient, he’ll get his ass bounced out the door. And yet, I do get the occasional mind fuzz. “If I take too long, he’ll get bored.” He might get bored anyway since all the good stuff is happening inside where he can’t see… until right before and through the orgasms when it’s rocking and rolling time.
Expectation is the opposite of non-attachment and rooted in competition, adrenaline, yang, testosterone aspects that I’m trying to move out of. I guess this is just another sign that I am a work in progress, as is my sexual awakening.
Aroused and trying to be more yin,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
DailyOJ 05-26-12, Part 1: Spontaneous Full-Body Kundalini Orgasms
So to fill in… As I wrote in the DailyOJ for 05-21-12, that was a KSMO day, and it was grande! Today was also my only KSMO session this week (or since!). My schedule has been totally weird, as you’ll soon read.
After a 2 month break from KSMO, I had returned to the 20-minute protocol about twice per week, trying to get in as many KSMO practices and my usual loud solo sex sessions as I could before I was no longer home by myself during the days. (School would soon be out for summer, but with my daughter on a week-long trip, I had the house to myself 24/7!!)
Since beginning with OM explorations — which is also a “turn it down a notch to turn it ON and WAY UP” practice specifically for women, I have incorporated OM touch into my KSMO practice… To splendiferous effect!
So back to this week’s experiences…
Today, I began the 20-minute KSMO session. A few Key Sounds into it, I decided to use the OM touch for my caress — thinking it’s such a small, barely there touch, it’s okay because it’s not “stimulating” in the usual sense. Man, was I wrong! After 2 OM flicks, I full body orgasmed during my KSMO session. I didn’t mean to, honest! Having an orgasm during the 20-minute KSMO or the 15-minute OM practice is not the intent of these re-wiring methods. (Orgasms are for actual solo/partner sex.) Both OM and KSMO seem to re-wire the body on a much deeper level than the superficial jerking/frigging off the genitals way most people learn to masturbate (and then bring into their partnered sex life).
But without warning or intention, I did orgasm. I had a full-body O right then at the beginning of the session, all head-thrown-back, spine-arched, toes-curled, Kundalini style. I finished the KSMO part (about 18 minutes), and then did my solo thang. (Which was amazing.)
Since then — all week, I have experienced spontaneous O’s at all times of the day, evening, night. I can think, “That was a great orgasm earlier,” and BOOM! A full-body orgasm hits. And often, I don’t even have to think that — it just happens.
The slightest brush of my nipples — I mean, not really touching, the barest of bare caresses with the tips of my fingertips — and I’m in kundalini O’s…. okay… I’m higher griping… but thank the gods I work from home. These deskgasms are too good to pass up.
My body is so re-wired now that she is hyper-sensitive to even the air going across from the ceiling fan. Orgasms spontaneously erupt. I even started having these full-body O’s from the fan’s air current across my breasts. I have been staying in bed till 1 and 2 in the afternoon enjoying this. And I can keep it going for hours. The feelings are indescribable. (But I’ll try.)
The orgasms are like a rush of an energy wave through my body — not exactly starting in my feet or my genitals, it happens so fast and is so thorough, I practically feel it everywhere at once, but the waves keep hitting and expanding outward in all directions. My lower abs have been going crazy during these orgasms — though my only ab work is during sex. The puckering in my areolas is so strong, my nipples feel like they’re pulling my body up off the bed. My body is contorted in all directions — no,this doesn’t hurt. Feels incredible, actually.
As I’ve explained in other blog post(s), it’s not the same as orgasms that are hands-on the genitals — these are different, but O so powerful! And talk about “less” stimulation needed — try practically NONE! I am SO glad I threw my vibrator in the dumpster. I would have never experienced any of this while my body was deadened to the media/porn culture’s lies about needing vibration for “better,” “stronger” orgasms. Bullshit! (I encourage every woman to put the vibe down, and go off the battery band wagon!)
What’s “disturbed” me in yet another “higher gripe” way is that when I enter my vagina to stimulate my prostate — which has all the bells and whistles of arousal going, I don’t stay there. WHAT?! I know! ME?! NOT playing in Prostate Town?
I’ve been going back to the 1 or 2 barely there OM/clit strokes or letting the air on my breasts, and the O’s hit. However many I want in succession. And I feel satisfied. I don’t need to go for an all-hands-on-deck sporting event. (Though, those ARE fun!) Feeling “satisfied” is not a feeling I have much experience with sexually or in life — I have always had yearnings of bigger, better things. Feeling “satisfaction” is new and yet profound of many levels.
In talking with Jack, the discoverer of KSMO, I asked him “Okay, so, what do I do now?”
Essentially, he said I was now an “Adept.” (No, the title does not come with a gold watch.) But I am now completely free to explore the energy and sensations as I choose — which is good because I kind of always did what I wanted to anyway. I know — what a shock.
I was concerned because these O’s I’m having don’t have the hot/explosion that others describe — the Big Bang I experience happens very suddenly and very strong and is “blunt” not “sharp” as I associate the other Adepts’ big orgasms. Mine are powerful, but it feels like I own the power. Even as I am learning about my body’s orgasmic capabilities and even though I’m in the non-attachment mindset, I am in control. It’s not like I’m at its mercy. Which I think was my fear last Fall when my prostate awakened, and it was SO very powerful it kind of freaked me out. Being totally willing to die in orgasm kinda resets your priorities — especially as a parent.
Jack suggested I just breathe and in-joy. (He likes to re-interpret words we use every day so we see them in a new light… It’s pretty cool, actually.) He also mentioned that I might allow more of the inner quiet to resonate — to see what I can learn from it. I am so much better now about not letting the mind noise interfere. I can tell it is making a difference to let my body lead the experience — like when I kept stopping stimulation during a solo session, and I have no idea why, but the results were astounding, so I’ve kept that bit in my “routine.”
* Read Part 2 here. *
Aroused and spontaneously combusting,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
DailyOJ 01-20-12: Female Ejaculation Discussed Further
January 20, 2012
The key to Female Ejaculation — the wet orgasm — depends on your lady and where her spot(s) are, how they respond to stimulation, and even where they move to during arousal. Most women who ejaculate do so from direct stimulation of the female prostate.
As the giver, use your fingers and curl them up in the “come hither” position. Anchor your fingertips against the inside of the pubic bone (on the prostate), and move the prostate itself — not circles ON the prostate, you’re actually moving the prostate against the pubic bone. Also, hold your other hand on the mons veneris and lower abs just at the pubic bone. (Remember, the lower abs are responsible for delicious coregasms!) This way you’re stimulating the full prostate region from inside as well as the outside. As above, so below.
Also, near orgasm — for the wetter variety — the woman needs to push out like she’s going to the bathroom, not pull up and in. And don’t press so much on the prostate at that point.
You can also tap the opening of the urethra — the U-Spot — for extra sensation — it is encircled by erectile tissue, just like that at the top of the penis. There is also a small “spot” of erogenous tissue just above the urethral opening and below the clit. Tap or stroke this as well for more incredible sensations.
I hope I will have more to report on my adventures with female ejaculation. And in case I didn’t mention it earlier, here’s one last “tip” on female ejaculation. Since most of the female prostate tissue is toward the opening of the vagina, you may not want a penis or large toy inserted fully.
Fingers might be best, but if doing penile / toy penetration, then use just the head. Or use a G-Spot toy specifically designed for female prostate stimulation. The width of the penis or a large toy during full insertion can “choke” off the prostate’s fluid, which hinders the water flow or waterfall / geyser effect you’re going for. That doesn’t necessarily affect the orgasm fabulousness itself, just the amount of “rainfall”.
Just follow these tips to get a great weather prediction: “High ‘precipitation’ with a chance of orgasm!”
Aroused and wet,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read The DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
DailyOJ 12-19-11, Part 2: Benefits of Breathing
December 19, 2011, Part 2
(Read Part 1)
And for a quick follow-up to the female prostate discussion… I came across another thread on the KSMO forum, and one of the Adepts mentioned he wasn’t sure if women experienced the same feelings of prostate arousal during sex/lead-up to orgasm. So I’m re-posting here because I’d love to read what other chix have experienced with their female prostate — or what you guys have been told your female partners experiences.
YES!, a woman who knows the feeling of her female prostate CAN feel wonderful feelings through deep breathing. By “deep breathing,” I mean using yogic ujjayi breathing which is an abs & ribs-centric breathing method (lower and middle abdominal muscles as well as exterior and interior intercostal muscles at the ribcage).
To do ujjayi breathing properly, you should feel as if you’re expanding your abdomen out while breathing in, bringing the air all the way down to the pelvic diaphragm. If a woman has enough body awareness through yoga, dance, maybe even Pilates, and plain ol’ self-exploration, she CAN feel the expansive nature of her prostate when it is aroused or in the beginning phase of arousal.
On a side note, breathing can actually intensify (!!!) the feelings occurring in the female prostate. There is a pain / pleasure aspect of this arousal that takes a little getting used to, but once you do, it’s addictive (i.e., ALL pleasure!), and you just want more and more and more. Big belly breaths trigger the prostate’s intense waves of arousal, and slower, more shallow (less belly) breathing can tame the female prostate’s arousal.
I figured out long ago that taking three deep belly breaths just before orgasm intensified my orgasm immensely — oxygen is great for orgasms! Adding my aroused prostate and purposeful, aware breathing throughout the arousal process to the mix is a guarantee of stellar orgasms in my bliss repertoire nowadays.
Aroused and breathing,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
DailyOJ 11-25-11: Vaginal Awareness, Pelvic Buzz, & Dreams
November 25, 2011
(*In response to a friend who is on a journey with a new toy, her pelvic hum, bioenergetics, dreamwork, singing, and lots of inner work.*)
Awesome! Will definitely get that toy then… One of the things I’m fascinated by, vaginally speaking, is how it doesn’t feel cylindrical in there. It feels more rectangular (and wider than you’d think it would be), and those nooks and crannies are so cool to explore! And when the walls are swollen with arousal and seem to squish my fingers, it is a completely different feeling than when the vagina is in “Yes!” (as Tantra guru Diana Richardson says) when the walls seem to be elevated and the opening is wide, ready, and waiting for entry.
Another reason the shower check each night is pretty cool — circling the cervix with my finger as it dips lower than usual, I sometimes wonder, “How the heck did a kid come out of here?!” That toy will be a welcome addition to Expedition Vagina. More field work, indeed!!
Re: the buzz in the pelvic/ She-spot area — This is another reason I LOVE belly dancing. The hip isolations really get you in tune with the lower region. And in Pilates or Yoga, doing Goddess Pose (sometimes called “Horse Stance” — ugh! ), with the feet wide apart, then you bend the knees to lower yourself down (in ballet, it’s a grande plie`). This alone can get you in touch with the pelvic floor and the orgasmic power in the lower core area. But try some pelvic tilts — they can be yummy!
LISTEN TO YOUR GUIDES!!! I can also tell that KSMO’s full potential of awakening is there, too. I’m “Gretel” to its breadcrumbs, so I’m trying really hard not to chase but allow. But I’m kinda setting a deadline of Yule to see more results — not as a pass or fail grade, but just to see what can happen .
I’m reminded of a great line from YENTL (one of my fave movies), when Mandy Patinkin’s character lists off all the things “Yentl” (Barbra Streisand’s character) has in her life, and he asks, “What more could you want?” And she simply says, “More.” That’s my problem. I want more. And lots of it. Yesterday.
I’m a competitive person, so when I don’t accomplish something, my arts training kicks in, and I start going over where I could have done better, rehearsed longer, rehearsed better, been more focused, etc. Letting go of the A-part of my AB personality is tough. I’m also an ENTJ, the “Commander/Field Marshal” personality — y’all may have noticed.
I’ve made it where I am in my career as a full-time artist because I didn’t let failure or rejection defeat me, and I have followed the adage, “I’ll find a way or MAKE a way.” Overcoming, or at least setting that part of me aside, has been the most difficult part. Also because I haven’t been with a partner in a looong while, and a little over a year ago, I set out as a single mom, and responsibilities took precedence over pleasure.
I need to be in the right head space to practice, albeit not perfectly. I try to think of Buddha’s logic, that we are perfect in our imperfection — which means I’m frickin’ fabulous! HA!
And I will definitely research the bioenergetics. I call myself an energist (spiritually), and I choose to anthropomorph that energy into Gods and Goddesses and like-minded, positive spirits.My dreams are coming back — yay! And I hope to have another volcano dream soon. I had one a few months ago, and it was my second volcano dream ever — but it was so synchronistic with what’s happening in mind, body, and spirit. Soon, I can put my “order” in to the Universe for my Mr. Right-For-Me Dream Man to appear… probably in the next couple of years, which is a nice thought to think about.
Aroused and dreaming,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
Coregasm: Orgasm While Doing Abs/Core Exercises
I hate working my abs, which is why I never do. I do consciously engage them when I’m doing everyday things, when I lift something, or ride my bike. And I’ve become more purposely conscious of how my torso moves during sexual arousal and through orgasms (as much as I’m able to think). Sometimes I focus more on my abs, other times, I’m concentrating on my glutes during sex. Hey, it’s all exercise, right?
Coregasm is the pleasurable phenomenon of experiencing an orgasm while doing abdominal workouts, particularly exercises that engage the lower abs. Coregasm has been a hush-hush delight in the “gym rat” world, but word is getting out, and women around the country are now racing each other to get the Roman Chair machine before someone else does.
This ab/orgasm seems to hit after having done a few sets of lower ab work, when you’re near muscle failure. Some women have full-on orgasms while others experience intense arousal, still others report zaps of excitement. Even better, men report experiencing this kind of orgasm as well!
The lower abs are the abdominal muscles below the belly button. They are hard to isolate without falling into the trap of engaging the legs, hip flexors, glutes, or arching the lower back. However, several exercises that target these orgasmic tummy muscles are easy to do at home.
Some options might be the Reverse Crunch, Bicycle Crunches, V-Lift, Pilates Leg Raises, most of Yoga, Swiss Ball exercises such as the Jack Knife (or Pike), rolling into Child Pose, etc. — almost any abdominal exercise that focuses on the lower abs to do the work while the knees are bent. Be careful not to extend the legs too much which starts to work the legs and cause the back to arch. And as with any exercise program, consult your medical professional first.Aroused and crunching,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
OpEd: FUCKING CHEROKEE MEN (AND OTHER PEOPLE OF COLOR)
OpEd: THE FACE OF ORGASM: IS YOUR WOMAN FAKING ORGASMS OR NOT?
DailyOJ: ALLOWING AND RECEIVING
