© 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
I wrote about the April verdict by Judge Korman in which Plan B would be required to be available on store shelves without a prescription or an I.D. check within 30 days of the ruling. The FDA made their own announcement that it would be available to girls over the age of 15 with proof of age (an I.D. check), then the Justice Department decided to stick its misogynist nose into the fray just to complicate matters.
After a push by the Obama administration, the FDA relented slightly, saying emergency contraception, a.k.a. the morning after pill, would be available on the store shelves, without a prescription, but only for females aged 15 and over (still requiring that I.D. check). President Obama said he was “comfortable” with that.
Which, I guess, is all that matters — that a a man can be “comfortable” with a male-dominated government deciding when and how women and girls can have rights to their bodies.
He also used the phrase “scientific evidence” a couple of times when referring to why Plan B should be available to teenage girls without a doc’s script in an obvious play to knock out the religious objections to having the emergency birth control on the open shelves to be seen by god and everybody…. Why, hell’s, bells, Scarlet! Look up that Jesus quote about birth control being evil…. oh wait…. Jesus never mentioned birth control, did he? …. Hmmmmm….
Obama — I voted for you twice, so don’t allow this kind of bullshit to taint my opinion of your otherwise strong stance for women’s rights.
I’m sure there will be more to update on this story as the misogyny continues.
The wonderful victory for all females in the United States to have access to emergency contraception without a prescription has been foiled by the evil charlatans at the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and the Justice Department.
The Center for Reproductive Rights’ (CRR) had filed a lawsuit against the FDA to require emergency birth control pills be available without restriction, an effort to remove the obstacle and perhaps shame of getting a prescription from a doctor. On April 5, 2013, U.S. District Court Judge Edward Korman ruled that the FDA must make emergency contraception, a.k.a. the morning after pill, available over the counter without an age-limit restriction within 30 days of the ruling.
Instead of complying with this basic right all women should have — and do have thanks to this ruling, the FDA announced it would make Plan B and Next Choice-type emergency contraception available over the counter to females aged 15 and up, in direct violation of the court’s ruling. (The FDA says its decision was in no way affected by Korman’s ruling.) The FDA has thrown in a requirement for the female buying the emergency contraception to provide proof of age for the purchase. As the CRR and other activists have noted, this may prove problematic since some states do not allow teenagers to get a driver’s license until the age of 16, so 15 year old girls might have a difficult time proving their age.
Meanwhile, U.S. Attorney Loretta Lynch sent an appeal of Korman’s ruling to the Second Circuit Court of Appeals to suspend the ruling until further notice. The Obama administration subsequently announced it will appeal the Justice Department’s appeal, if need be. So for now, the FDA’s asinine proclamation of limiting Plan B et al will stand, complete with photo I.D. and age-requirement intact.
Time will tell if the original court ruling will win the day and allow all females to have access to emergency birth control without politics interfering with our individual right to body autonomy.
For other NEWS Articles check out these posts on my other blog:
I’ve been married for almost 15 years. Before I got married, I used to have orgasms without a problem during intercourse, and I was very active and sexual woman. Now, AFTER 15 years, we have sex like every three or four months and worse, without orgasms… well, once a year if I’m really lucky. I only get an orgasm while watching porn and masturbating myself — so, I’m not anorgasmic — but it doesn’t happen while having sex with him. Even when I’m aroused and really try to have an orgasm mental and physically, it just doesn’t happen. I talked to him, but it’s not enough.
I LOOOVEEEE sex, I like sex, and even for a while I resigned myself to abstinence. Well, I suppose that I am the problem, but I cannot find the solution. I want to enjoy sex, and literally shout out myself for pleasure and orgasm during intercourse but well… here I am asking for help. Love my husband and I wish I could surrender myself into his arms and enjoy and cry out for pleasure. Any thoughts?
Right off the bat, I see at least three major things that need to be addressed, and hear me when I say, YOU are NOT the sole issue that needs help here. It takes two to tango, and in a relationship, each partner is 100% responsible for participating in their 50% of the partnership.
The word relationship does not mean “suffer in silence,” as you seem to be doing — I know that’s how I felt in my miserable 15-year marriage with orgasmless sex. (At least you like your guy!) A relationship is supposed to be two (or more) people actively relating to each other. I don’t see much relating at all here. But let’s begin this conversation with you…
You didn’t tell me your age, so for round numbers, let’s say you’re 40 years old and got married at 25. In your early 20’s then, you were a vibrant, happy, sexual, naturally orgasmic woman. Fast forward 15 years, you’re experiencing issues with orgasm with a husband who is uninterested in “fixing” a relationship he apparently doesn’t view as being problematic.
From a physical standpoint, the body completely regenerates every cell in the body within about three years. So you are literally not the same person you were then — your body has completely re-created itself 5 times since then. Now, at “40,” your hormone levels are different, your blood chemistry is different, and this isn’t even considering if you take prescription medication on a regular basis that can upset your body’s chemical balance, or have unhealthy nutrition habits, too much alcohol or caffeine intake, etc.
My first recommendation to you is to get your bloodwork done and see what your hormone levels are — do you make enough testosterone? Testosterone is required for women’s sexuality, believe it or not. When we’re younger, we have plenty of it (without seeming masculine), but as we get older, women’s testosterone levels drop significantly. This can be made worse if you have been taking products that give you extra estrogen, such as birth control, or eating unfermented soy products like soy milk, soy yogurt, or ingesting too many foods made with soy. Also get your thyroid levels checked as the thyroid regulates hormone production in the body.
The second area I would address if I were you is the porn. Don’t get me wrong, I love to watch beautiful, sensual erotica myself, but as with any item we start to “rely” on for orgasm, porn may now be a “crutch” for you. I gave up vibrators when I could no longer have an orgasm without them — I literally had no feeling in my clit or labia, and I wasn’t even using a vibrator that often. It took six months to be able to feel any sensation in my clit. You may have gotten to the point where you’ve unconsciously talked yourself into reaching climax “only” when watching porn, so the orgasm is less about your sexual happiness and connection to your self and more about a psychosomatic reflex — “muscle memory” triggered by watching porn, if you will.
Go porn-less for a few months and get back in touch with your body. Your body was naturally orgasmic. Allow the muscles and nerves and your autonomic nervous system to re-learn what came so easily back then — awaken that “muscle” memory! This will take time and will likely be very frustrating. I invite you to read through my DailyOJ if you want a friend-in-frustration because I certainly understand. I would recommend my “Allowing and Receiving post” any time you really feel the pull to give up the bodywork and go back to the porn. Again, I’m not saying you should never watch erotica again, just take a break for a little while. Or watch some erotica or scroll through my Tumblr to get the juices flowing, then turn it off when you start masturbating. Relax into your body, focusing on your body’s wants and needs, not what you think your body “should” want or how it “should” act/react. Read my post on “Lying Broken in Pieces As I Heal” to see this process from a different perspective.
The third issue here is the infrequency of the sexual relationship with your husband. I am wondering, “What’s wrong with him that he doesn’t want to make love to a woman just starting her sexual prime? What’s going on in his work? His life outside the relationship — with him as a man? What stresses does he experience with his job, deadlines, co-workers? Does he have any addictions (food, caffeine, alcohol, other) that could be affecting him? Does he have health issues that are affecting his emotions, blood circulation, sexual drive, and even his mental/psychological state? Does he experience erectile dysfunction? Is he not making enough testosterone at this point in his life?” Yes, men make less testosterone as they get older as well.
As a man in his 40’s, let’s say, he may have been brought up in the last generation of boys who were taught to solve problems for themselves, don’t ask for help — that’s a sign of “weakness,” men have to have all the answers, be the leaders. Men are still suffering from the strong-silent-type John Wayne persona they were forced to emulate all the while being fed the Renaissance Man/Prince stereotype who is supposed to sweep a woman off her feet, romance her endlessly, and the relationship bliss and passion just happen all the time by magic — as women have been brainwashed into believing thanks to “princess” animated movies, romance novels, and daytime soaps.
Orgasms can seem easy enough if you find the right sex position. But the want has to really be there as well as a healthy mind and a healthy body. It doesn’t sound to me like he wants to bridge the divide here. Sex 4 times a year is not a true relating-ship, in my opinion, especially since you have tried to talk with him and he has not been receptive to communication. There are deeper issues going on with him that he may not feel comfortable sharing… yet.
Getting back to you, though, I hope you’re not expecting him to “give” you orgasms or “make” you cum. You are 100% responsible for your own orgasms during sex — or even solo. I see you understand that orgasm is a mental process first for a woman. After all the disappointment you’ve faced with this, your mental outlook may verge on the pessimistic side. You have work to do, for sure, and you need to work on yourself and your self first.
Okay… I lied… there’s a fourth thing I want you to consider…
In this post on orgasms, I explain there are different types of orgasms: the physical reflex and the energetic response. You can frig off for hours and never orgasm, much less climax. Or you can rewire the body to the point where you just think the word “orgasm,” and you’re off into the La-La Land of Bliss. Get back to your body, and rewire from the parasympathetic nervous system outward. And remember, I’m working on an orgasm training method that teaches this very thing, so be sure to sign up for my newsletter.
I know, I know… Other peolpe are going to suggest you do all the work here — add the “romance” back in, wear some lingerie, light candles, cook him a nice dinner, give him a massage to loosen him up to get him in the mood. This is all superficial bullshit. Your relationship needs true communication re-building, and that begins with honest dialogue, not pretending the problems away.
To begin this journey of healing, begin with yourself. To heal the relationship, you MUST sit him down, either just the two of you or with a counselor. You cannot save the sex or the relationship by yourself.
I most heartfully wish you well in this. And for more in-depth personalized advice, I also do consults via phone or Skype.
I came across a great site about yoni and all things Tantric for women and emotionally secure men. The blog is by a Tantrika/Dakini who is the “real deal,” not one of the so-called “urban tantra” bullshit artists. However, the following comment one man left on her blog shows just how little is still known about women’s anatomy and sexuality in popular culture thanks to women’s sexuality being vilified by misogynist religion and ignored in Western medicine and academia, while superstitions and myths are still rampant.
(Note: Misspellings are left in.)
i am just curious about one thing if stimulation is done aftifically with fingers on G spot its surely making pleasure for woman but does it keep woman healthy enough to be fertile and gave birth to kids after such an act. my question is can woman still conceive or become pregnant if she is ejaculating with fingers on G spot or it odes affect its reproductive system?
I just posted this response, and so far it hasn’t been approved — fingers crossed, it will be. :-)
You seem to be more concerned with your masculinity and virility than the woman’s pleasure. Your patriarchal, misogynist ego will be pleased to know that the female prostate’s ability to induce full-body/wave orgasms and secrete prostatic fluid has nothing to do with the viability of the woman’s eggs. If you’re concerned about being able to conceive, go get your sperm count checked before assuming any conception problem’s are the woman’s fault.
Seriously. A woman ejaculating isn’t birth control… If it were, almost every woman between the ages of 15 and 50 would be drenching the sheets — every day, twice a day! (But please don’t let the GOP Republicans think it’s birth control ’cause they’d just criminalize that, too.)
Guys… female ejaculation is a beautiful thing. The biggest concern you should have with helping a woman ejaculate is can you drink it all up so her love nectar isn’t wasted.
I’ve covered this all before, but let’s go over the basics of female ejaculation:
- All women should be capable of ejaculating. Fear of urinating is what usually stops a woman from ejaculating even if the stimulation techniques are correct. (Other issues that can contribute to a woman not ejaculating include being dehydrated or the emotional/psychological issues from past sexual trauma.)
- Female ejaculate is NOT urine. It is prostatic fluid and mostly glucose, hence its sweet flavor and labeling by the ancients as the “nectar of the gods.”
- The amount of fluid released will vary from woman to woman — from a couple tablespoons to a couple cups of fluid, and can vary from release to release, even within the same sexual session.
- If a woman feels pressured by her partner to ejaculate in the first place — much less burst forth a specific amount, this can activate stress hormones and prevent her from getting wet at all — even though vaginal fluid is a different cocktail than prostate fluid.
Are we clear on this? Women experiencing mind-boggling pleasure is actually healthy for the woman physically, emotionally, psychologically, as well as sexually. Loving the vulva and vagina via yoni massage is one of the most beautiful ways you can show a woman respect sexually. And, at the risk of making men paranoid in the other direction, being able to help a woman ejaculate is super manly!
If your woman already ejaculates on her own, ask her to show you how she does it so you can see what she does and how she does it. Don’t help!!! (Unless she asks you to.) Just be there to lap up the delicious juices.
While having a thought-provoking chat with a friend on Twitter, I got a bit of a shock out of nowhere. I’m not shocked easily. I wish I could say I’m not hurt easily, but even after all the crap I’ve been through in my life, my annoying humanity is still intact.
With the ridiculous comment from Rep. Todd Akin about “legitimate rape,” all of Twitter was a-buzz with chatter on the subject of rape. Interestingly, the topic which had started out being on abortion had shifted dramatically to rape, and not surprisingly, society once again placing the blame and the shame of rape on the women — the rape victim.
Out of nowhere, this jerk, “Dan,” buts into the civil convo I was having with my friend @sevenlayercake — though we differ in viewpoints, she and I can have amiable conversations. Whenever a Twitter interloper butts in, I check their bio. This guy was supposedly an “outspoken gay professional.” As a loudmouth Scotch-Irisher and theatre pro, I can certainly handle this guy.
I posted the link to my recent article on my rape — something I have never, ever, ever, EVER told the details of to anyone alive or dead on this earth until I wrote this article on it a few days ago. Why? For the very reason, I didn’t think anyone would believe me. And this jackwad says, “You want to milk your rape for sympathy.”
If this guy is “gay,” then he is the most fervently women-hatin’ gay man I’ve ever met. Gay men usually dig women, just not sexually. Being in the theatre, it’s not unusual for a gay man to ask me how I do my lipstick or to borrow my blouse.
So, below, is the conversation and yet another example of how the War on Women exists — and is apparently spreading to the gay men demographic, which I find to be very sad. :(
In my head, I hear the lyrics to Gloria Gaynor’s anthem:
First, I was afraid, I was petrified…
I will survive
As long as I know how to love,
I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live,
I’ve got all my love to give
And I’ll survive,
I will survive.
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
I spent, oh, so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry but now I hold my head up high.
I will survive.
(Click image to enlarge.)