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DailyOJ 02-12-13: Sheet Orgasms


nude-woman-redhead-arched-back-in-orgasm-300I’ve found a new way to enjoy my stealth orgasms — the orgasms that are brought on by little or no physical touch.  I wasn’t looking for a new approach to my quieter, yet, oh so fulfilling full-body waves of bliss, and yet I have stumbled upon “sheet orgasms.”

While doing the barest of nipple stim and reveling in delicious nipplegasms, my legs open wide of their own volition.  My hips move in their own dance, and my head is back in breathless euphoria.  With it being colder now, I sleep with my duvet cover on, and I happen to be snuggled under the covers this morning.  I move my hand to my labia, first outer, then inner labia, loving the change in her texture and posture.

My inner labia begin close to my vagina, but as arousal progresses, my inner labia extend upward, outward, as if standing at attention — the frilly edges more taut as they fill with blood in their own erections.  Barely brushing my fingertips across my erect labia, the full-body waves begin, and I feel expansion in my heart chakra.  I’m still amazed that slow, barely-there touch is so fulfilling, and infinitely more tender than hard frigging off.

I’m back on to nipplegasms, having gotten into a pattern of nipplegasms then barely-there gentle-touch clit O’s, and back again.  On the weekends, I do this for hours, not getting out of bed until around 2 p.m. — except on the Saturdays I make a concerted effort to get up by noon to catch the vendors at the farmers’ market.  But this is Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras, and everything is closed.  I can stay in bed all day.

Back arched and head back, the nipplegasms are on auto-loop at this point.  As my knees part wide, falling open 180-degrees on the bed, the weight of the duvet presses the sheet toward me.  The sheet brushes my erect inner labia, and a jolt of energy surges up my body.  I thought it was a fluke, a wonderful accident, but I try it again, lifting my hips slightly.  Sure enough — ZAP!  There it is again.  I lift my hips the same way, and the full-body waves begin.  My hips circle several times, make figure 8’s in both directions as I learned in belly dancing, circle some more, then lift and lower in a plain ol’ back and forth motion.  I am breathless as the stealth orgasms fill me and energy zings up my legs and arms, with that familiar energy spiral in the ball of my left foot, sending energy outward.  The sheet has just become my new boyfriend.

Trying a few things, I learned that once the sheet is in the correct position under the weight of the duvet but not actually resting on my vulva, manipulating the sheet is not required, and any other touch of my genitals is not recommended.  The barely-there brushing of the sheet across my inner labia is all I need to induce these wonderful, deep feelings that can only be described as orgasmic waves that crash against the shore of my body, sending billions of tiny pinpoints of pleasure up through me and expanding outward.

Sheet orgasms… who knew…

Aroused and pricing 1500 thread-count Egyptian cotton,

trish

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AskTrish: Man with Small Penis Wonders If He Can Fully Satisfy a Woman


Dear trish,

I was born in a Muslim family and had circumcision at an early age, and I think the doctor messed up or something cause I have a really small penis.  The question is — does size actually matter to fully satisfy a woman?  My gal and I have been having sex, enjoying various positions.  She says she is happy and she actually does have an orgasm most times. She also does all she can to pleasure me to the highest during foreplay and even sometimes taking control of the sex.  But, since I’m on the smaller side I want to know does size matter cos my gal hasn’t had any other partners so she doesn’t know the difference.  We are happy together, but this is a matter of curiosity and maybe to help my gal explore something better.

Anonymous, in Mangalore, India

Dear Anonymous,

Penis size is an issue that is debated in the neuroses of men, but not so much for women, in my opinion.  You actually have several issues going on here, but allow me to address circumcision first.

Routine infant male circumcision and any female circumcision is not medically necessary and should be considered sexual assault, especially since the child cannot give informed consent to the procedure.  In males, circumcision can damage the penis head as well as the shaft, not just the foreskin.  So there may be a chance that the length of your penis has been “shortened” due to a botched circumcision that left the skin too tight.  Also, some reports say infant circumcision is responsible for 60% of erectile dysfunction in adult men.  Not to get on my anti-circ soapboax, but there are methods of foreskin restoration that might help loosen the skin of the penis so that your erections might become “fuller.”

You sound young to me, perhaps in your early 20’s, and since your girlfriend has not been with anyone else, I’ll assume she is also in that age range.  The fact that she orgasms at all during penetrative sex means you’re doing something right!  Female orgasm statistics consistently show that 70% of all women have never orgasmed during penetrative sex, with that percentage being lower for women in their 20’s.  The best way to make sure your woman orgasms is to be well-versed in female sexual anatomy.  There’s more to our genitals than just the clit or the G-spot, and so many more kinds of orgasms than just clitoral or vaginal.  (Just as there are more kinds of male orgasm than just penile/ejaculatory.)

Your concern over the size of your penis — when clearly, you’re doing just fine in the bedroom — may be a result of culture and media influence. What porn and media don’t explain is that the average length of the vagina for all women, regardless of height, build, ethnicity, or childbirth, is 3 to 4 inches.  When fully aroused, the vagina can expand in length by 50% and widens at the top, so the maximum length of the vagina is around 6 inches.

As a woman, I can testify that a penis that is too long (9-inches+) can hurt!  So being on the ” short” side (5-inches or less) when fully aroused is not a bad thing.  Remember, the vagina will only be about 6 inches when fully aroused.  You just have to know what positions work best for a smaller penis, such as woman-on-top.  If I had to choose a penis size, I’d go for a fat, thick penis over a long penis any day of the week.  But since penis size isn’t something I consider when choosing a sex partner, I suppose it doesn’t really matter.

Please note, however, that in order for a woman to be truly aroused and ready for sex, she needs at least 20 minutes of “foreplay” so that her own erectile tissues can begin to fill with blood as well.  This 20 to 30 minutes of arousal-play  also allows the woman’s mind to shift from mundane issues to relaxing into a sexual mode.

As for satisfying a woman fully, regardless of penis size, I’m assuming you have fingers, a mouth, a tongue, even a big toe, all of which can be used in the physical side of sexually satisfying a woman.  However, a woman’s most important sexual organ is her mind, that non-physical field that exists in the ether around the physical cranium.  Start with her mind, then engage her body, beginning with her skin, and her breasts (if she likes breast stimulation), and sensual massage.  Allowing the woman to relax into the moment is the most important step to help a woman orgasm.

Since you say she has orgasms “most” of the time, I’m assuming you have an orgasm every  time.  The activist part of me says the sex should not be over unless both  partners have at least one orgasm.  The horny woman part of me wonders why are you even entering her vagina with your penis if you haven’t already eaten her to a few orgasms with your mouth on her genitals?!  Oral sex on the woman is an almost guaranteed orgasm technique — your mouth sucking her clit and labia with a finger or two in the vagina and/or anus drives most women to passionate madness.

***As a shameless plug, I’m in the process of developing my own orgasm training method, so be sure to check back here for updates on when it’s ready.***

Experiment with positions and techniques that you both find interesting and arousing, and just enjoy the discovery of your own bodies and your sexual preferences.  Communication should be the foundation of your relationship anyway.  Keep in mind, that sex is supposed to be enjoyable and fulfilling, not a competition or a race.  Relax, experiment, discover.  If you love the journey, the destination is bound to be wonderful.

trish

* Read more AskTrish: AskTrish Posts *

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DailyOJ 08-29-12: Stormy Weather, Labia-gasms, & Emotion


Outside my bedroom window, I could hear the trees branches hitting the roof, the rain pelting everything, and the wind blowing.  I opened my eyes to see if we had power – we did, and I promptly snuggled down under my sheet. The steady rhythm of stormy weather and a cold, air-conditioned room combine to make a recipe that sends me off into a sensuous half-sleep, drifting over to the Other Side, but still anchored here.

After getting up and checking out the apartment and the balcony, everything looked fine.  Well, for a hurricane, that is.  My outdoor plants are in the middle of my livingroom, my kitchen counters are covered in water bottles and prep supplies.  Thankfully, we didn’t need them.  We were safe and dry.  So I could go back to bed.

In bed, my mind noted the irony that this was the 7th anniversary of Katrina and the 2nd anniversary of my moving out and becoming a single mom.  Moving out was, in effect, the beginning of my journey to reclaiming my identity and my sexuality.  Hard to believe it had been 2 years already.

Since I wasn’t alone in the house, and my neighbors had hunkered down for the storm as well, I didn’t even attempt having orgasms… at first… some just happened — I didn’t mean to… The room was cold.  Sue me.

With the rain outside and my ceiling fan spinning above me, I lay in bed with the sheet off my breasts and legs, just covering my vulva area, to keep her warm and juicy.  I absentmindedly started some sensual massage, and my nipples perked right up.  The areolas puckered so tight I had  to rub on them, and off I went into my SASO’s.  When my nipples calmed down, I did a little OM-touch on my clit, and was off again.  This went on back and forth for over an hour, having SASO’s, taking a break for a few minutes then starting again.

In between sets, I checked my vaginal opening for juices.  Sure enough, yep, there were juices after each set, which, for me, verifies that these are in fact productive orgasms.  Not that anyone would challenge me on this point, but these O’s are so very different from regular stimulated orgasms — amazingly fulfilling, full-body orgasms, but different.

I was very wet, and I couldn’t help but spread the love all over my inner labia and clit, then a little bit further to my outer labia.  My juices were warm and slick, viscous, and smelled wonderful.  Enjoying the feeling of my labia, I gently massaged them with my right hand; my left hand was up behind my head from the last set of O’s.  Before I knew it, I was off again!  Having orgasms from stroking the inside of my right inner labia!!  I have never done this nor have I ever anticipated orgasms from such a seemingly innocuous area.  I kept stroking gently and rolling the lip edge with my fingertips throughout the O’s, until my hand had to go up over my head as well…. Dammit.

A little later, I tried stimulating the U-Spot to help trigger an orgasm there, but I wasn’t feeling it… so I thought…

With the juices flowing and my vagina in YES! mode, I had to slip a couple fingers in.  I smiled because I love the vastly different temperatures between the cold room, my hot skin, and my warm wet vagina.  She truly is awesome.  I stroked my prostate, but just to notice the textures, not to lead anywhere.  My right hand came out as my left hand slipped in.  I know it’s serious when my left hand wants in.  I would more than likely be very busy for the next 10 minutes or so.  And sure enough, with minds of their own, my hands conjured a delicious, complex blended orgasm or series of orgasms that seemed to  last longer than they usually do.  My mind has become so observationist on what is happening in my body, I try to notice every nuance that is happening both inside my vagina — the vaginal walls, the juices, my moving She Spot, the texture of my prostate, the clenching of the inner clitoral bulb, as well as with my outer clit as she begins to hide so close to orgasm.

This blended orgasm was truly wonderful — so much so, I actually made noise, which I don’t normally do with hands-on O’s.  I tend to associate noise-making with the penetrative thrust action and A-Spot reach of my toy.  I kept the orgasms going as long as my hands could function, but even they needed to heed the call of the Great Orgasm God/dess and fly up over my head as my back arched and my legs kicked — also something I don’t normally do with hands-on O’s… the Kundalini responses are usually the realm of the SASO’s. Hmmmm… makes me wonder what’s going on… and why am I not doing hands-on blended O’s anymore?  These are awesome.  Will definitely pencil them in my next session.

Then the unexpected happened.  I felt this welling up of emotion, like I was about to cry.  I was just at the verge of actually crying, felt the tears, the sudden intake of breath, but I was so shocked by the need to cry that I think I stifled it unintentionally.  I lay there for a minute.  I felt the need to cry again, but I was so aware of it, the crying melted away.

I began to focus on my body and the after-O’s happening in my genitals.  My hips were still moving, my legs were beginning to calm down, and I was thoroughly sated.  Better yet, I was happy.  And the room was cold.  My nipples were getting tight again, and all I could think was that it was a great start to another year as a free, whole orgasmic woman.

Aroused and happy,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 08-24-12: Double-Dipping, Sporadic Awakening, & New Responses


Copyright 2012 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

I didn’t feel the need for laying in bed an hour or longer, to relax or process out mind noise.  I think I was “lying” broken” for less than half an hour, doing my SASO nipple-gasms and OM clit-gasms, just to tone down the sensitivity in my nipples and clit — otherwise I’d just orgasm through my KSMO session… (apparent fail — I still O’d through my KSMO session).  I did about 14 minutes of KSMO, using a mix of nipple stim, sensual massage, and then clit/prostate stim.  Following that, I moved on to a solo session.

The trip to full-on, penetrative orgasms didn’t take long, about 8 minutes, and the results were predictably amazing.  And yet, the emotion that came with the orgasms was unpredictably extended.  Not the hard crying that can happen sometimes, my body eased into this emotional response, but once started, it was hard to shut off.  Of course, I’m not in the habit of shutting off my sexual responses (anymore), so I let it play out, trying to feel what my body was experiencing with the after-orgasms, but feeling true emotion welling up and needing to be released.

I lay there for about a half hour, dreading the getting up and continuing on with my day.  I wanted to feel something new.  Strange how even these amazing orgasmic experiences are beginning to feel mechanical and routine.  Having stimulated my prostate during the KSMO session, she was primed for the Sparkles treatment.  But now, laying in the after-glow, I could feel her throbbing, growing.  She wanted more.  I wasn’t sure if my shoulder and wrist would last for another round, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.

I lubed up Sparkles, and on the insertion, I could tell I was much tighter.  My prostate was definitely engorged, as were the vaginal walls that were pulsating inward, and I think the inner clit was still swollen as well.  The sensation of being truly filled was almost breathtaking.  Not to disparage Sparkles — I got him for his upward curve, not his girth.  (Dammit.)  But I loved the feeling of being full.  With a truly turned-on prostate, I felt those all-over ripples down my arms and legs, my legs began to shake — which usually only happens with hands-on prostate stimulation.  I reveled in the feeling of needing to urinate because I knew it had nothing to do with my bladder and everything to do with my She Spot/prostate.  I had been missing that feeling all summer.  To have that wave, that full-body shudder was joyously pleasing.

I didn’t think my arm would last at this point.  I thought I might have to stop, but I soldiered on, and I’m so glad I did.  When the orgasms started, they were full-body, fully arching, fully voiced, loud, rockin’-and-rollin’ orgasms.  I kept going as long as my arms would let me, then they flew up over my head, and Sparkles almost went flying across the room.

As the last few orgasms hit, I realized my teeth were chattering!  This was a completely new sexual response for me.  I don’t do fetishy stuff — never used an ice dildo or anything, so I’ve never experienced chattering teeth before… (great… in my head, I’m now hearing the song “John Wayne’s Teeth Hey-ya”…)

Being Irish, I love being cold.  In the winter, I keep my house around 60, and it feels awesome.  I wish I could afford to keep my house this cold in the summer!  In winter, my teeth will chatter occasionally, but for the most part, I feel like I’m in heaven in a cold house.  This is ironic since my skin always seems to be hot to the touch.  When I touch people, they move suddenly, saying my hands are burning hot.  I joke and say, “I’m Irish.  I’m exothermic.”  If they’re Pagan or Witchy, I say, “I’m a Fire Spirit, hence my nickname ‘Lava.'”  (If they’re fundy Christian, I tell them I’m a Witch.  Just to see their reaction as they run in the other direction. :P)  But I don’t feel hot — I really think it’s my body just letting off the heat so I can be cold.  Go Team Shamrock!

The teeth chattering while crying was a bit weird… and yet knowing I had had a second emotional orgasm was oddly satisfying — not sure why… But as the crying and teeth chattering faded, I began to feel the beginnings of a heartgasm — a buzzing in my ribcage area, the faint beginnings of that astral pull I have been wanting to experience again.  Unfortunately, a full heartgasm did not develop (rats!), but I was able to enjoy some lingering prostate body-shudders later when I went to the bathroom, and sporadically since.  Also, I recalled that when I had the 2-week-long heartgasm last Fall as well as the heartgasms in May, it was due to double-dipping — going two separate rounds of penetrative solo sex that concentrated on prostate stimulation.  That info is now filed for next time!

After awakening so grandly on 08-08-12 and 08-10-12, then having the back pain for a week, then the subsequent chakra cleansing, then my period, I’m already getting tired of the stops and starts on my journey.  I’m ready to hit cruise control for a bit.  But that’s just some Yang energy coming to the fore.  After being so Yin for several months, I was actually getting concerned I’d lost my inner fire.  I’m very appreciative of the Yang energy surfacing long enough to say “Hi” but not overwhelm my new Yinning state.

I briefly entertained the notion of recording my orgasms so I can hear them later — to get a sense of what’s happening vocally when my body is blissed out orgasmically.  And then I had the horrible thought of taking a month-long break from any orgasms at all.  Now I know I’m going crazy.

Speaking of going crazy, I think my shamanic dreams are coming back.  The past few nights, I’ve had some strange and intense dreams.  So I’ve decided to start a dream journal as well.  More on that later.  But for now, I’m about to hit the busy, busy last week of the month to meet all my writing deadlines (for my paying jobs), so I might take this week off from intentional orgasms.  Hmmmmmm….

Aroused and chattering,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 08-17-12, Part 2: Lying Broken in Pieces As I Heal


* Read Part 1 here! *

Glad to have movement and feeling in my back again after the excruciating pain that started a week ago, I was really looking forward to resuming my orgasmic awakening routine.  After all, my big, loud O’s had been on lock-down almost all summer while I gorged on stealth and spontaneous orgasms (now to be known as SASO).  Getting back on the path was a milestone for my 1-year multi-orgasmic anniversary.

The back pain had been a curious development.  Since losing almost 70 pounds from my highest weight, I know all about pain — back pain, hip/sciatica pain, lower back, neck, every joint imaginable pain, lower extremities/pedal edema, crazy hormones, all while being miserable inside as a person as well.

Similarly to my session on 08-08-12, I laid in bed for a while … a long while … as the majority of pain had melted away rather miraculously.  I don’t know why I had started this “tradition” of laying in bed, allowing my mind to wander, absentmindedly caressing myself.  In the summer, this was practically the extent of my sexual activities — with little privacy to pursue much fun, the SASO’s were exceedingly, surprisingly satisfying.  Now able to arch my back, the nipple O’s also made a glorious return.

The stealth clit orgasms were not instant as they usually were, but rather needed a few strokes on the upper left (my left) part of my clit to get going.  The right side of my clit is also very receptive to this touch, and I gratefully accepted the back-arching orgasms from that side as well.  Apparently, with the nipples unresponsive due to pinched nerves in my back, my clit had been less responsive to touch as well — not surprising since the the nipples are wired directly to the clit.

After an incredible length of time that didn’t feel like any time at all, I looked at the  clock.  I wasn’t even sure I had time to get the 20-minute session in much less the after-session fun.  More than an hour had passed.  I decided to begin, starting in my old-school style — with my nipples.  I had worried that starting back with regular practice had diminished my nipple/stealth orgasms in a phase of integration.  This can happen as you sojourn on any energy-based orgasm journey.  A big breakthrough explodes then fades — or integrates — as new experiences rise to the surface.  However, I think the issues this past week with the SASO’s were due to the back pain/heart chakra blockage.

I did the 20 minutes, moving to my clit and prostate for the last 10 minutes.  It all felt wonderful, and I was so glad to be able to move my hips again.  I was cutting it close to time, and with only an hour left of free time, I decided not to go for the full treatment but rather just lay in bed.  I took mental notes of all the energy zings all over my skin, the pulsating inside my vagina, the swelling of my prostate (!), the pulsating throbbing of my PC muscles, my anus, and the continuing circles and figure-8’s of my hips that I was not doing intentionally.

After a half hour of this, the “after-O’s” pulsed more slowly as they began to simmer to the background — notice I didn’t have a “big” O, and yet I still had the after-O’s!  Oddly fulfilled and thankfully not hurting, I got dressed, made up my bed, and walked (slowly) back to my desk.

It occurred to me later that lying in the bed before any stimulation or session caress or sounds had been an important aspect of my orgasmic awakening.  If you remember, I shared this article from another site on the concept of “lying broken.”  That being “broken” is one of those glass half-full situations.  You can see yourself as a shambles of what you were, or you can recognize that the pieces are now truly yours  to put back how you  want to be renewed.

This, then, was another eye-opener for me.  Though this experience happened on Friday, 08-17-12, and the Todd Akin “legitimate rape” debacle occurred over the weekend, remembering the “lying broken” article became a welcome glimpse of hindsight.  My heart chakra probably was triggered by my return to practice because it was my return to working on me.  For the past several months, I have been going through what I call the “Dark Side of Yin,” a chronic lethargy as old wounds churn at the core of me.  Not being alone during the summer, I had no real time or space to meditate or focus on myself in a self-healing capacity.  I also think some of the Kundalini awakening contributed to my turning inward so significantly — the coiled serpent that began her rise from slumber at my root chakra is making her way through my energy centers, and it appears my heart chakra was the wheel that needed to be cleansed this past week.

My work is not over for my heart chakra, but I do believe I have made great strides toward reassembling the pieces of my broken self into the newly forming me — as a whole woman.  And how fitting that this is occurring as I am about to turn 40.  I am still putting the bad experiences behind me, but more than ever I know that the pieces are mine to assemble as I see fit.  If I don’t like what I see forming, I will go back to lying broken until I once again have a clear vision of my self as a whole human being.  And unlike my afternoon schedule, I can take my time.  That’s why I’m here on this plane anyway.

Aroused and broken but healing,

trish

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