Today was the second day in a row that I did my practice. I did it once last week, and the results were noticeable from the immediate after-play as well as the 4 a.m. session later that night … and the next night. My body has not forgotten.
Of course, I knew this. I can still spend hours having my nipple-orgasms and SASO clit orgasms. But I have not been on a regular practice of training my body for orgasms in well over a year-and-a-half. Dealing with various issues — running for Congress, sexual trauma PTSD, etc. — put my practice on hold as I needed to observe and continue my healing process. This is ironic since my Tantrik orgasm practice has been so healing in so many ways. But this time, the healing that I needed was more emotional than physical or sexual. So I allowed myself time to heal.
Now, I’m back on my practice. Why? Because I miss my heart-gasms, laugh-gasms, urination-orgasms. I miss all those things that took my breath away when I first began this awakening journey. (Remember, “arouse” means “to awaken”.)
Another reason for the training hiatus was that I wanted to see if I needed a regular practice to maintain the “results” of my initial practice and subsequent astounding, mind-boggling, earth-shattering awakenings. Could regular masturbation maintain my awakened prostate? Could moaning during masturbation be a substitute for the vocalized mantra during practice sessions? Could I have all the benefits without the “work”?
Yes. And no.
While I can still have the ceiling fan orgasms, sheet orgasms, or the labia orgasms, they are more subtle. I haven’t had a urination orgasm in a long while, and I am surprised at how much I miss them! I highly recommend them. Truly!
One thing that is imperative to understand about this journey is that it is a cycle of experiences: highs and lows, joys and fears, progress and stagnation, euphoria and frustration. I have had to learn unbelievable patience with myself, with my body, with my individual process, to allow the process and remember that there is no finishline. And trust me, as an Irish chick, patience does NOT come naturally to me.
Over the past year, I noticed that my climax orgasms had changed. As my practice subsided (for lack of time and privacy more than anything), the explosion of the clitoral part of my climax orgasm seemed to fade, or at least blend into the wave climax of my prostate. If you’re familiar with prostate (i.e., erroneously monikered “G-spot”) orgasms, they tend to be full-body, wavelike, back-arching orgasms, whereas clitoral orgasms have a genitally-focused, explosive, ab-crunching-forward body response. I could feel the signals of arousal and climax of my clit externally and internally, but there was no longer the intense explosion. It was as if the climax slipped a gear and went from almost-there to in-the-throes without that delicious, explosive tension release.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining, merely explaining. These “slipped gear” orgasms allowed me to pay even more attention to my prostate — you know how I adore my anterior vaginal wall! Without the explosion of the clitoral response, not only was my prostate response even more noticeable, but I was able to continue the stimulation for much longer through the first climax and straight on to another climax a few seconds later, and another a few seconds later, and another, and another, until I was just too exhausted to do more…. Usually, with the explosive clit in the mix, I can get two or three climaxes; and then I’m just off into Neverland, and my arms must fly up over my head, which means my climaxing clit and prostate are unattended. With the prostate-dominant climaxes, I have been able to go for much longer and have many more orgasms in one session. Not a bad trade-off, I’d say.
This must be similar to what men experience when they are learning to control ejaculation in favor of multiple, full-body orgasms. As I’ve written numerous times, ejaculation is NOT the same as orgasm in men. And while it took a little getting used to the non-explosion climax, this new kind of climax was still very strong — even, very, very strong in a different way than I was accustomed to — and just as importantly, this type of climax was still capable of being emotional for me.
I was able to enjoy these orgasms regardless of which toy that I used or using my hands. (I only use glass or non-vibrating toys.) And I was still having spontaneous orgasms, too. The only real difference was that I was coasting on the rewards from my previous practice regimen rather than practicing regularly.
I’ll admit, at first, I was NOT happy about this. I was confused and really didn’t know what was going on. Was I broken? Was I ill? Was I having issues with my vascular or neurological systems? I didn’t know. So I didn’t write about it. I needed time to experience and explore before I could explain it. Remember, I’ve been winging this whole awakening thing for nearly four years now. There are not many people who understand female sexuality enough, especially from a Tantrik practice, to help me understand what was happening. There is much more information about male sexuality and male awakening through Taoist writings and practices. Sometimes, it feels as if my clit and prostate are pioneers. :-)
I truly started to love these new climaxes once I allowed myself to be open to what they could teach me about my body and about my sexual and sensual response. And who doesn’t love six, or eight, or 10 climaxes in the span of a few minutes?
Just as I was really learning all this newfound body wisdom, I found a glass toy I forgot I had and started back on my actual practice, and within two days, it’s all changing again….
Stay tuned for Part 2…
Aroused and pioneering,
(NOTE: The excessive number of links in this post is for peeps who are new to my blog and may not know all the things I’m referencing. Enjoy!)
I felt warm liquid at the opening of my vagina, but it was held in by my inner labia. I had been on my period for a few days, so this should be the day it takes off. My usual cycle is three days then a day off, followed by a day that is really just heavy spotting. On those last two days, I don’t use a tampon. It hurts too much to pull it out when there isn’t enough blood flow and the cotton absorbs any vaginal fluid.
Being horny and kind of forgetting about being on my period the past three days, I reached down and fingered my labia, feeling some of the fluid there at the gate, ready to burst forth. Warm and thick, the viscosity was slightly different — not much but enough for me to notice. I brought my fingers out from under the sheet and saw traces of red mixed in with the clear vaginal fluid.
Then I remembered my period. I brought my fingers up to my nose and inhaled. Metallic. I didn’t care. My hand slipped back under the sheet, and my fingers found my lips again.
As I spread the juices around my labia and my clit, the fluid seemed a little more sticky than usual. There was more blood than I had thought there would be. I had never masturbated using menstrual blood before; not intentionally anyway. And honestly, yesterday would have been the perfect day due to the heavier flow. I also didn’t have a towel handy, so I didn’t go full-on friggin’ off.
I kept to my stealth orgasms that involve the smallest, barely-there touch to the side of the external clitoris. This barely-there touch triggers immediate full-body orgasms — not the explosive type of orgasm associated with stimulating the clit tip. These are more like vaginal/prostate full-body orgasms, except these happen almost instantly; but the moment of climax with these stealth clit orgasms is much stronger than the wave-like feeling of a vaginal climax.
The blood mixed in with my vaginal juices helped because, otherwise, vaginal fluid is very slick and slippery. As it should be! The blood made the fluid a little bit sticky, so it was easier to keep the tip of my finger in the exact spot on the head of my clit.
Perhaps I should have felt weird about this, but I didn’t. Menstrual blood is one of the five sacred fluids in Tantra, however, most women are made to feel shame about this very natural and very necessary process of shedding the uterine lining each month. Tantra has extended rituals of worshiping the yoni, which is the Sanskrit word that simultaneously refers to the vulva and vagina as well as the woman as a whole.
I don’t mind sex during my period, but it must be slower and more careful. My cervix (the lower third of the uterus that descends into the vagina) can be very tender — as will be my breasts and even my inner thighs. This morning, I definitely was not going to use a toy, but playing in the mixed fluids and deriving pleasure from them allowed me to have a different perspective on the possibilities of using menstrual blood as lubrication for solo-play in the future.
I say “in the future” because I didn’t get to go as far as I wanted. The alarm went off again, and this time I really had to get out of bed and get moving. But I will definitely revisit masturbating with menstrual blood again. Blood is sacred, and so is self-love. It’s kind of a perfect combination … if you put a towel down first.
Aroused and sticky,
I am dealing with so many deadlines, narrow-minded “friends” on Facebook over breasts and Planned Parenthood, and an essay submission on my sexual awakening journey that may be used in an upcoming book.
I know this isn’t a usual DailyOJ, but I hope you understand why I needed to write this this way. (And I’ll have some more DailyOJ’s for you SOON!)
How is YOUR day? Let me know in the Comments’ section below!
Wow! Has it really been 300 blog posts — already?! I still can’t believe I just passed 3 years of doing ArousedWoman. And to think I’ve now written 300 articles, posts, reviews, and rants about women’s sexuality and activism is just amazing. That’s 300 posts over 3 years, which equals 100 per year, or about 2 per week on average. No wonder I’m exhausted!
ArousedWoman began as a simple website and this blog on which I bared my soul and my experiences as I reclaimed my body and my life. I had left my marriage a year or so before, and I had recently begun exploring my sexuality. I felt dead sexually and wanted so much more. I began a Tantric journey and discovered things I never knew could actually exist; and I wrote about them here.
In so doing, I encountered amazing experiences that absolutely challenged my concept of infinity and pleasure, and it made me deal with long-buried issues of sexual abuse that I had neatly locked away and thought I had dealt with years ago. Processing these immense highs and these painful lows was overwhelming at times, but it was necessary for me, especially if I hope ever to have a successful relationship for myself someday. I am still a work-in-progress.
Honestly, if I had not taken off most of 2014 while I was running for Congress, I would have reached this milestone sooner. But I am proud of the work I have done here on ArousedWoman. I’m proud of the AW extensions via the radio show, the YouTube videos, and the upcoming magazine. But most of all, I am proud of being able to help so many people who didn’t feel they could turn to someone else.
Over the course of 300 posts, I have written on anatomy and sexual function, communication and relationships, health and fitness, and of course, activism and equality. In the process, ArousedWoman has become a trusted source of information in regard to women’s sexuality AND has been named a #1 site for sexuality and relationship information for couples.
This is just the beginning! I have sooooooo much more to do for you and with you. Expect a complete overhaul later this year as I work on expanding ArousedWoman into a more life-encompassing resource. It’s gonna be fabulous!
As always, I love you, and I thank you for being with me on this journey.
Aroused and doing the happy dance,