Arts, Activism, Awakening in Mind, Body, & Spirit

DailyOJ

Tantra Tuesday with Trish Causey: What is Tantra?


Trish Causey presents Tantra Tuesday on YouTubeIf you’ve seen my recent foray into daily YouTubing, you will have noticed that the second day of the week is now Tantra Tuesday.  You know I love Tanta, and there is SOOOOO much more to Tantra than just sex … although I love the sexy side of Tantra as well.

In this weekly series, I will talk about the history behind Tantra, its philosophies and its wisdoms for improving your life on a daily basis — yes, that includes sex.  Of course, the best orgasm secrets I keep for clients who sign up for training with me.

So check out the first installment of Tantra Tuesday, and leave a comment here and/or my YouTube page!

Enjoy!

trish

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Daily OJ 12-24-14: For the Sake of Meatloaf, “Bat Out of Hell”, and Crying Out Loud


Meat Loaf - Bat Out of Hell - Songs by Jim SteinmanTonight, while making dinner, I had a humorous experience … humorous at first.  As with many epiphanies, there was a surprising twist at the end.

I was making meatloaf — the first time in about a decade that I’ve attempted the infamously dry American dinner staple.  Normally while cooking, I listen to Govi’s “Andalusian Nights” (because I’m addicted to Spanish guitar and Romani music styles from the region of Andalusia), but for some reason, I scrolled down and landed on another album in my playlist, Jim Steinman and Meat Loaf’s “Bat Out of Hell”.  I wasn’t really thinking about it, just that I was making a new recipe and wanted something more power-charged to get me through the slew of ingredients I needed to gather, chop, saute, and caramelize.  I was cooking other things, too (bell peppers and friend eggplant), so I was only half listening to the album.  Yet, I was sort of singing along to this album I haven’t listened to in forever.

I first heard “Bat Out of Hell” at my friend Ronny’s house over 20 years ago.  But I remember being absolutely engaged in every note, both instrumental and vocal.  Being much younger, the album was interesting technically, especially the twist in the lyrics, but at the time, I was more concerned with the songs’ “money notes” for me as a singer, particularly the ballads.

Tonight, as I took the meatloaf out of the oven, it was brought to my attention (by my daughter) that I was listening to Meat Loaf.  I laughed.  How ironic, yes?  Well, since I haven’t actually listened with full attention to the album in 20 years, I decided to listen (actively listen) to the whole “Bat Out of Hell” album after dinner.

I sat on my sofa, cushioned by pillows, the tree lights to my left and a small lamp to my right, and headphones on my ears.  The first track — the title song — played, and it was as if I’d never been away.  I remembered the song and almost all of the lyrics as I sang along.  The second song was next, and again, I laughed and sang.

The third song came on, and that is when things changed.  A couple of lines into “Heaven Can Wait”, I was crying.  That’s when it really hit me what this whole album is about: a man, who’s looking for the simple, uncomplicated hook-up, who will leave like a “bat out of hell” before morning, experiences conflict when facing the emotional aspect of being with someone who actually matters to him.

As the song played on, and the tempi changed, and the styles ran the gamut from 1970’s rock to rockabilly 8-to-the-bar, the true meanings of these songs continued to hit me, over and over.  I thought back to when I had a slight panic attack a while back, realizing that I was terrified of intimacy with a man because it would mean being real, not putting on airs, or pretending there isn’t more to me than just breasts and long red hair, or stuffing my own needs down so as not to burden the man with inconvenient, icky things like … honesty, sincerity, and emotions.

The songs explore this “all-American boy” who is “lookin’ for something to do” and “all revved up with no place to go”.  He gets “a taste of paradise” with “an all-American girl”, and as long as it’s just physical, everything is okay.  But then she wants to know if he loves her.  His answer: “I want you. I need you, but there ain’t no what I’m ever going to love you.”

He tells the tale of being rebuffed by a woman in his past.  She left him on a stormy night, and he begged her not to leave; but she told him how she could never love him.  That experience of rejection and having his heart broken built walls within him that he is not willing to dismantle.  And so he treats women with the same cold indifference.

I’m not going to excuse the other woman’s behaviour, but how many men had done the same thing to her to avoid emotional entanglement, when they probably only wanted to get laid or were scared of emotional attachment?  She probably adopted those same patterns to prevent getting hurt again, and thus, continues the cycle of avoidance and hurt, which the male character in “Bat Out of Hell” now displays towards the girl he is with.

Just as he’s about to get to “fourth base” with the girl, she stops everything and asks, “Do you love me?  Will you love me forever?  Do you need me?  Will you never leave me?”  There are two problems here: 1) Women using sex to get love, and 2) The all-or-nothing deal-breaker of the hyperbolic concept of “forever”.

Women:  Just stop playing games; you’re better than that.  Now, I cannot do one-night stands or hook-up sex — it’s just not something I want.  I need an emotional connection with a partner.  But I certainly remember that feeling as a teenager of wanting to be loved and sensing that irritated frustration from a guy who would say anything just so long as I let him touch me and kiss me.  Then he’d get mad when I didn’t want him to go further — somehow his anger was my fault.  Playing the game is easier, but not necessarily better for you and your sense of self-worth.

Everyone:  Stop trying to predict the future; be with the person who makes you happy, makes you laugh, and appreciates you for who you are and doesn’t try to change you.  Due to the conditioning of romance novels, movies, and princess-genre animated films in which “forever” is the only option for a woman, especially where her reputation is concerned.  This is an antiquated view of women, our sexuality, and sexual happiness.  Most relationships do not last forever, so it puts unnecessary pressure on two people to force things to work out.  As one of the songs opines, “I’m praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you.”

The lead character responds to her question that he’ll give her an answer in the morning.  At least he didn’t outright lie just to tell her what she wanted to hear.  That is almost more painful in the long-run.

As I listened to “For Crying Out Loud”, the tears came even harder.  This phrase is usually said in exasperation, “Oh, for crying out loud….”  And he sings that way at first: “I know you belong inside my aching heart…. I’m gonna need somebody to make me feel like you do.”  And he says, “For crying out loud, you know I love you.”

Why does it take so much effort for a man to express his feelings?  Is it really 2,500 years of patriarchy that have tried to create each successive generation of men as emotionally void and demonstratively robotic as their “strong, silent type” predecessors?  Not every man has this problem of expressing his feelings, but most of them do.

And after the virtuoso piano-playing, the strings ensemble filling in the lush orchestral sound, and the timpani pounding out the big crescendo, the twist comes.  He reveals that yes, he does want her and need her, and more.  For giving him answers, “for that, I thank you”; and for keeping him going when he wanted to stop, “for that I want you…. But most of all, for crying out loud, for that, I love you.”

I’ve written many times how my orgasms are emotional experiences for me, and if I don’t cry afterward (or during), the sensual adventure does not feel complete.  I’m left still wanting that emotional, sensual fulfillment to come full-circle with the physical pyrotechnics of climax.  I need emotion, and I need a man who understands that having and expressing emotion is normal, good, and healing.

This past Sunday, I spent the evening at a friend’s Winter Solstice ritual.  I haven’t spent a lot of time with pagan men in the past several years — I’ve been too busy just trying to keep my head above water as a single mom.  But being around these men — men who worship the feminine aspect of the divine and who have no problem talking about their love of the goddess — was a breath of fresh air for me.  To hear men talk respectfully about women, to not hear one derogatory joke about women, was amazing.  It was so different to what I usually read on “friends'” walls on Facebook and certainly more woman-friendly that a lot of what I see on Twitter and Tumblr.

So, thank you, pagan, goddess-lovin’, dirt-worshiping witchy men.  You give me hope that one day I can find my own nature-lovin’, yoni-worshiping, bohemian, music-makin’, heathen man who can love me for crying out loud.

Aroused and emoting,

trish

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TOD: Live Your Dreams. Follow Your Bliss. Paint the Stars.


Go out and paint the stars - Van GoghThought O’ the Day, 08-28-14:

On Facebook this morning, I made this post about my schedule for today:

Today: fill out financial aid paperwork for going back to school next month, work on magazine which will be out next week, practice song for possible theatre audition this weekend, have lunch with bohemian artists, clean out boxes in my living room so I have space for yoga and kettlebells, think of something to do this evening.

I have so many great opportunities coming my way financially and artistically — just to be happier overall, that it made me think back to when I was married, something I don’t like to remember.

When I was married and did things for myself or my career, my then-husband accused me of being selfish.  Now that I’m free from that emotional and psychological bullshit, I AM focusing on myself and my career and the things that matter to me like my health, my education, my happiness, and being comfortable in my own skin.

I cannot be a good mother or a happy person if I live my life for other people or other people’s needs while neglecting my own.  So I am absolutely focusing on myself and the things that make me happy; and instead of changing the world, I’m now working on changing myself, with the hope that that energy ripples outward and encourages others to do the same in their lives.

Happiness does not equal selfishness.

Aroused and perpetually awakening,

trish

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NEWS: ArousedWoman Magazine PRE-SALE Premiere Issue or All 6 Issues


ArousedWoman MagazineComing soon!  ArousedWoman Magazine will hit the cyber-newsstands in August 2014.

You can pre-order and get yours reserved for $9.99.  Or get a subscription for all 6 bimonthly issues for just $49.99.

In order to be truly happy, you have to be happy (and healthy) on several levels.   The best way to accomplish this is with solid information so you can make informed decisions about your life, your body, your rights, and your peace of mind in this crazy, hectic world.

AW Magazine will be a digital publication, readable on any computer or mobile device.  The premiere August/September issue will be released in August 2014.

An extension of AW Blog and AW Radio, AW Mag is an in-depth look at various topics for women (and men!), including sex, health, fitness, nutrition, feminism/activism, original erotica, guest writers, spirituality, reviews, and more!

The August/September 2014 issue will feature articles and interviews on the topics:

  • Body image
  • California women’s Reiki healing center
  • Radiant pleasure
  • Finding our way back from patriarchy
  • Goddess-based spirituality
  • The new Atheism
  • Classical Tantra
  • Activist film festivals
  • Revolutionary Feminism
  • Painting female nudes
  • Healing yourself through meditation
  • Knowing your vagina
  • Massage & the importance of touch
  • Breast Health
  • Protecting your clit
  • Orgasm tips
  • New AskTrish letters
  • Sexual health
  • Overall nutrition
  • Recipes
  • Original erotica
  • Guest articles
  • OpEd pieces
  • Reviews
  • AND MORE!

Every issue will have new articles, new guests, new important health coverage, and new original erotica!

Pay using your PayPal account or your credit or debit card:

And please SPREAD THE WORD by sharing the link to this blog post.  Thank you!

trish

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DailyOJ 06-23-14: Getting Back Into My Body


nude-woman-in-solitude-peachI can’t believe how long it has been since I wrote my last true DailyOJ post.  It seems like a lifetime ago that I was on my regular meditation and awakening practice, but I felt I needed a break due to everything that was going on.

So on 02-03-14, I took a break from writing here on my ArousedWoman Blog as I officially entered the campaign to be a Congressional candidate.  I had started back to college in October, around the same time I finally decided to run for Congress.  The ensuing months were some of the most mentally stressful I’ve had in a while.  I was over-extended and being pulled in so many different directions — home life, rebounding from the loss of a job, starting my Musical Theatre Magazine for income, going back to college, throwing my hat in the ring for Congress, being a single mom, running this blog, trying to finish other writing and music I had started, my computer crashed in December, starting another fitness certification, and other things I can’t even remember now.  It was just too much.

In April, I had to take a leave of absence from school to focus on my campaign, but the campaign ended June 3rd, when I lost my bid to be the Democratic candidate for my district.  Which is fine.  What I learned about politics taught me that my place is here as an activist.

My second-to-last DailyOJ post was on 09-16-13, so to sit here and realize it has been over 9 months since my last real DailyOJ is just strange.  Nine months is the gestation period of a child, from conception to birth.  This impels me to wonder, what did I give birth to?  What was brewing in the womb of life experience these past nine months?  What did I think I was conceiving?  What do I have to show for this amount of time and work and stress and even grief?

Not much.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped doing yoga.  My three+ miles that I walked every single day rain or shine dwindled down to one on many days, and closer to the primary election, sometimes zero miles.  I had an allergic reaction to some store-bought bread (again), which made me gain weight and inner inflammation that I’m still dealing with.  The stress of fending off the evil ring-wing nut-jobs on social media sent my cortisol levels up, which didn’t help my body at all.  And mostly, I just didn’t like how being in the political arena made me feel as a person.

I’ve worked hard to overcome my natural warrior tendencies, to incorporate more yin wisdom.  But politics is all yang — and not the good aspects of yang.  Politics is an evil, dirty, money-driven business based on extreme competition that I personally found to be destructive on many levels.

For me and my body, what concerned me most was how my energy level dropped.  I don’t mean energy, as in feeling like getting up and going somewhere, I mean my true energy, my life force, my palpable connection to the universe and everything around me that actually matters to me.  Because politics is so based in low-energy matters like money (economy, budget/deficit, jobs, etc.), I felt my energy just fade away.  I no longer felt my energy buzzing up my legs, or my Kundalini spine-zaps that circle around to tickle my face, or the out-of-body heartgasms, or the energy that bounces off my arms when I think about something I love or something that makes me happy or makes me laugh.  Nothing about politics gave me good vibes.  I tried focusing on the fact that I was wanting to help the people of my area, and I focused on being me, not a puppet politician that the media expects a candidate to be.  I spent so much energy deflecting the negativity of the political scene, that I had no energy left over for me, my well-being, and my needs.

I had lost my connection to my body.  When I would try to do a practice session, my mind was on politics.  When I was sleeping at night, I’d wake up at 3 a.m., and think about politics.  Because I was virtually alone in my campaign, it all rested on me to do a good job.  I felt a responsibility to the people who saw themselves represented in me, a progressive liberal candidate in a Red State.

My sessions became less about my practice and solely about trying to have orgasms.  Therein was the major problem.  “Trying” for pleasure is a sure-fire way to ensure true pleasure eludes you.  My orgasms, while still amazing on any orgasm-o-meter, were different.  They were no longer full-body.  They were localized to my genitals.  They were rarely as emotional as I was accustomed to.  I didn’t know my body anymore.  And I couldn’t focus enough on my practice when I had them to raise my energy again.

I will say again as I’ve said before — My “worst” orgasm now is infinitely better, bigger, and more pleasurable than the best orgasm I ever had before my awakening.  But at this point, I’m used to a certain level of mind-blowingemotional orgasmic experience.  Regular, genital-centric orgasms simply will not do.

I’ve also said many times that orgasm is an energy, and when I’m in that energy, it’s like living in a completely different vibration.  I’ve told people the feeling is like orgasm is a higher vibration level, and whenever I’d want a sudden orgasm, I just stand on my tip-toes, and I’m there, in that energy field, and they just happen — whenever, wherever I want them.  My body is amazing.

Or she was … before I got the crazy idea that I should enter politics.

The primary was June 3rd.  I got 44.6% of the votes, but lost.  The follow-up after the campaign lasted about 9 to 10 days, and as voters began to focus on the unfolding dramas elsewhere in the crazy world of Mississippi politics, I bowed out, thinking I’d get back to doing what I do.  This is when my body crashed.  Simply crashed.  I spent a few days in thorough lethargy, allowing my body to release the pent-up exhaustion that had accumulated over the course of nine months on the campaign trail.  This was when I fully realized what I had done to my body and my psyche and my spirit by following a path I had intrinsically known was not for me, but that my activist self thought I could strong-arm my self through — for the greater good, for standing up for our rights, for speaking up for the right thing.  I have always despised politics, and now, I had reaped the lesson of what happens when you don’t listen to your true self.

Now, it’s summer.  I’m not home alone during the day … or night.  So I can’t do a full practice on a regular basis.  I still enjoy my stealth orgasms.  In fact, even my nipple-O’s and stealth clit O’s had begun to wane in intensity.  In the past week, I’ve been trying to get more sleep, and even though I’m still only getting five to six hours of actual sleep, I’m staying in bed to rest a few hours more to get at least eight hours of sleep/rest in so my body can heal.

Because I’m a single mom, I won’t be able to get back to my regular practice until the Fall, but I will do what I can with my stealth O’s through the summer.  That might be a good thing actually — allow my body to finish processing all this politics B.S. and regroup.  I will allow my fire to come back gradually.  I am focusing on positive, life-affirming, creativity-inspiring pursuits, like my new online workshop.  I am ready to help people who want to be helped.  I will get back into a regular yoga practice.  I will dismiss the wheat and sugar that somehow crept back into my diet (and devastated my body).

By August, I should be back to myself — or introduced to my new self, a woman who has learned so much on this journey and who is ready to be aroused in mind, body, and spirit once again.

Aroused and healing,

trish

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