Anatomy: Male Prostate ~ the Male G-Spot
Male Prostate ~ from Wikipedia commons
The male prostate is a gland about the size of a walnut located in the male anus.
The prostate creates prostatic fluid that mixes with sperm from the testicles to form ejaculate. Once aroused, the male prostate has a texture like that of a walnut, similar to how the female prostate takes on a ridged feeling when aroused. Moving your finger back and forth (i.e., wagging your finger, or like a windshield wiper), you should feel the two lobes of the prostate — the gland is bisected by the urethra running through the middle of the prostate, just as the urethra runs through the middle of the prostate in women.
The prostate can be accessed indirectly, from the outside at the “sweet spot” on the perineum, or directly, inside by using a finger or sex toy in the anus. Experimenting with your prostate does not make a man gay. In fact, anal play, prostate massage, and prostate milking can be a very delicious part of a heterosexual couple’s lovemaking, especially in the form of slow sex and sacred sex.
In Tantra, the male prostate is considered the male “Sacred Spot,” just as the “G-spot,” aka the Goddess Spot or Sacred Spot in women is located in the female prostate in the vagina.
Also in Tantra, the male prostate is considered to be the emotional center for a man in regard to his genitals. More than a few men, who have allowed a partner to do prostate milking on them, claim the prostate orgasm is the strongest, most intense, most emotionally moving orgasm they have ever experienced.
Many men who do prostate massage on a regular basis cannot fathom going back to their old orgasms. Common testimonials for these men also include the prostate orgasm is a “soulgasm,” and opens their hearts to their partners in ways they could never imagine before.
As with any anal play, safety precautions should always be followed to prevent the transference of fecal bacteria from the anal area to other body areas.
Condoms should be used on any sex toy that is inserted, and fitted latex gloves or finger cots can be used on the fingers to avoid having to wash your hands before fingering yourself elsewhere or fingering/touching your partner, as well as to avoid getting bacteria in a cut on the fingers.
Use lots of lubricant and massage the external anal sphincter completely to warm up and stretch the skin before trying to enter the anus. Silicone lube seems to work best and last the longest, but it is notoriously difficult to clean up afterward. Also, silicone lube will degrade the latex of condoms, so use only water-based lubricant or natural, unscented massage oil if using latex condoms.
The prostate can be a delicate gland. Direct stimulation should be slow and gentle at first to see what kind of pressure you like. If there is any pain, STOP. If there is any blood in your ejaculate or urine, see your healthcare professional.
PLEASE LEAVE A REPLY with your questions or detailing YOUR experiences (men and women).
trish
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AskTrish: Stop Ejaculating and Have Multiple Orgasms Already
A little something different from the usual AskTrish post…
While posting pics on my ArousedWoman Tumblr page, I came across a post on another Tumblr page in which a querent (I’m assuming male) asked: “when i masturbate and i hit orgasm once i cant have another one why not ? am i doing something wrong ?” The moderator responded: “no, not everyone is capable of multiple orgasms, that’s just the way it is…”
That is absolutely NOT TRUE — not even for men!
Ejaculating is a reflex, but it is a controllable reflex of the sympathetic nervous system. Semen is ejected due to contractions by the bulbospongiosus muscle. On a subtle body/spirit level, ejaculate is comprised of life force energy, and it takes an inordinate about of physical energy to produce and expel ejaculate from the body — hence the reason a guy is usually exhausted and needs a nap afterward. Ejac expends energy, causing fatigue for the man.
In women, stimulating the clit, which is synonymous to the penis, gives a localized burst of tension release at the clitoris, but any kind of vaginal orgasm (prostate/She Spot, cervical/uterine, AFE, PFE, even perineal sponge) creates full-body waves of bliss that flow and flow and flow, like waves that repeatedly crash against a shore. The clitoris is wired to the spinal cord via the pudendal nerve, but the vagina’s main nerve is the vagus nerve which bypasses the spinal cord and plugs directly into the brain.
Knowing how the body works physiologically helps in integrating the subtle energy body with the physical body, which leads to orgasms that literally blow your mind and everything you thought you knew about your body or orgasm. Conjuring orgasm via an energy-based practice with the help of a little anatomy know-how creates orgasm experiences that feel like Big Bang explosions in your core and your head — not localized to just the genitals.
Orgasm is a response of the parasympathetic nervous system. Orgasm increases energy. Many people use climaxing for muscle tension release before bed so they can get sleepy. However, orgasm in an energy practice gives and expands energy. From the Greek word, orgasmos, orgasm literally means “to swell.” Orgasm is NOT the end of a sexual experience but one amazing part of the journey. The end isn’t even “climax” but bliss, altered states of consciousness (no drugs needed!), awareness, and connection to self, your partner (if applicable), and the Universe.
ALL woman AND men are capable of multiple orgasms — FOR HOURS, days, weeks! Live your whole life in an orgasmic state of energy bliss… Why not?!
People need to STOP the myths and lies about what is possible in orgasm. ‘Cause I guaran-damn-tee MOST people have never experienced even an inkling of what orgasm can be. They grew up jerking off to skin mags and probably learned most of what they know about sex from watching the fakery of porn and memorizing the stupidity of magazine sex quizzes while standing in line at the store.
They should stop giving advice and read my fucking blog already!
trish
* To AskTrish a question, submit your question here. *
* Read more AskTrish posts. *
Sex with Uncircumcised Men
With the issue of anti-circumcision rearing its “head,” I thought I’d petition comments from readers who would like to discuss the topic of uncut sex — sex with men who are not circumcised.
What does it feel like? Is slow sex better? Is deep penetration or shallow better? What are the pros and cons, the experiences from the man’s perspective? From his partner’s?
Mainly, I want to create an opportunity for mothers- and fathers-to-be to get a glimpse of why they should allow their sons to be left intact. Circumcision is permanent body modification, and this choice belongs to the male whose body would be affected. His parents are the stewards for his basic human right to be left whole.
There are rules for participating in the discussion!
Commenters can be:
- Men who are UNcircumcised — I would especially love to hear from you guys!
- Women/men who have been with men who are UNcircumcised — Please share your stories!
- Circumcised men or their partners who have questions or comments regarding circumcision.
- Readers who are supportive of the anti-circumcision movement and even potential legislation to ban circumcision.
Comments should be:
- Respectful, NOT snarky toward men with circumcised penises — after all their right to choose what was done to their body was violated. It’s not THEIR fault they are cut.
- From readers who have specific questions or info about the UNcircumcised penis, including hygiene, personal feelings/experiences, bullying, sexual info during arousal, penetration, orgasm, and after sex; oral, hand play, and anal sex; any info regarding the foreskin, lubrication, erections, ejaculation, sensations, etc.
Keep the conversation clean and respectful. And yes, every comment has to be approved by me first, so don’t waste my time being pro-circ, rude, snarky, or a jerk (or jerkette).
Check back often to read what others write, or sign up for the RSS Comments feed (on the right-hand side –>).
Now, chat away!
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
OpEd: The Truth About the Hard Fuck, Pulling Out, & Talking Afterward
On another forum, I read a recent series of posts in a particular thread that once again compel me to want to pull my hair out!
A man had discovered his multiple orgasm potential and was sharing the experience with his new female partner. He wanted to try slow sex to avoid the rigorous thrusting that might lead to ejaculation, but she, according to him, just wanted a “hard fuck.” That’s all she ever wanted. She just likes the “hard fuck.”
So he obliged and, in his words, proceeded to “fuck the shit out of her” and alternately did “fuck the crap” out of her.
Lovely….
Equating vigorous sex with forceful defecation is not only immature, it is a bit misogynistic. To see the men on that forum then applaud the language was disappointing. I’m glad he’s having wonderful discoveries about his sexual potential, but verbalizing the experience could have been less crude. And guys wonder WHY women get annoyed with how men approach sex?!
The other points he made included pulling out afterward, that kissing afterward brought him more orgasms, and that he had been afraid to tell her about his multi-orgasmic potential because he didn’t want her to feel “threatened” or “scared” by it.
So allow me to let male readers in on a few things:
1. WOMEN LOVE SEX. Why this is news to men, I do NOT know. We like it slow and deep, and fast and hard (try alternating 4 slow/deep with 8 hard/fast, and repeat over and over)…
2. Women KNOW men can have multiple orgasms. We know men are jealous of women’s capability of MO’s even though most women have never orgasmed during sex. We know men are jealous because they pout like bratty kids not getting their way.
3. The hard fuck is but one delight on a buffet of possibilities. Maybe she “only” likes the hard fuck because she’s young and has only been exposed to porn and/or exposed to men who grew up watching porn so their only dynamic for having sex is the hard, emotionless fuck.
As women, we are trained directly and indirectly not to show emotion, that men hate emotion during sex and after sex. And heaven forbid a woman cry afterward or ask to be held — that sends the guy into a panic… or so young women are lead to believe. And men have certainly been misled by mainstream media and porn as to what is expected of a man during sex physically, vocally, and emotionally.
Let’s just say that some emotion during sex is a good thing. (Otherwise, you’re a zombie or a robot). Men should feel comfortable enough with the woman to show whatever emotion he is feeling at the moment, and the woman should feel likewise. If you’re both spending energy holding back and hiding emotion, that’s energy you could be forwarding to the orgasmic experience! But you’re so wrapped up in assuming what the other person wants you to be like that you’re blocking your sexual energy from its full potential. Drop the bullshit walls and pretense, and revel in being a human, physical, sexual being.
Also, if the woman has a post-orgasm cry (after pleasurable, consensual sex), then you have really hit the jackpot! Water is the element of emotion, and whether the water released is tears or female ejaculation fluid, strong emotional bonds are formed when the sex is good enough to cause her to cry or ejaculate. Hence, some women learn to prefer the emotionless hard fuck to avoid emotion and forming bonds. Don’t confuse this with the occasional overwhelming lust for hard and fast sex — that can feel amazing every now and then. But if a woman says she “only” wants that “every” time, she’s been trained to think like that, or she is trying to protect herself emotionally from getting hurt via forming an emotional bond through slow sex.
4. NEVER just pull out. A woman may not show it (because of the training of “don’t show emotion”), but a man pulling out quickly immediately after sex is like having your soul ripped out (which, by the way, can induce tears from the woman, but NOT the good kind!) There’s nothing wrong with staying inside for a while — if in doubt, ASK HER.
Roll over onto your sides so neither of you is supporting your body weight. Let the penis relax while it’s still inside, and talk, caress each other, and kiss (maybe bringing on more full-body orgasms?). Maybe you’ll be able to experience the incredible feeling of the penis getting hard again — a truly serpentine Kundalini experience!
5. Women love to talk (much to men’s chagrin), but that’s the great thing about communication. Women should be able to talk about what they want — not just do what they think the guy expects her to want or expects her to do. When YOU talk to her, you’re allowing her to feel free — to share what she thinks, feels, and wants. You both might learn you want the same things. Talking during sex is great, too, to reaffirm that the touch and position and overall experience is pleasurable. (Of course, as you get closer to each orgasm, complete sentences might not be entirely possible until you come back down.) Let your partner know what just worked to send you over the edge, and maybe he or she will be willing to do it again immediately!
Talking afterward is a great way to prolong the experience, re-live it, and share about what you both experienced: the various positions, how you each processed the sensations, etc…. You can discover so much about how the other person really felt, then file that information in your mental orgasm to-do folder.
Women (and men!) who don’t ask for what they want just confound me!! Too often, people are afraid to ask for what they want because they fear rejection or ridicule. Would you really want to be with someone who would subject you to ridicule? Better to accept the rejection and cross that person off your list of partners and be done with them. Then you’re open to find a partner who just might be the right combination you need and want.
Agree? Disagree? Feel free to leave a comment (but whisper sweet nothings to me first 
).
Aroused and ready,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
OpEd: FUCKING CHEROKEE MEN (AND OTHER PEOPLE OF COLOR)
OpEd: THE FACE OF ORGASM: IS YOUR WOMAN FAKING ORGASMS OR NOT?
DailyOJ: ALLOWING AND RECEIVING
Comments 08-19-12: “Another Amazing Orgasm” Thanks to ‘ArousedWoman’ Blog
After a long day battling for vagina rights on the Twitterwebz, an ArousedWoman reader sent me a lovely comment about his own orgasmic awakening thanks to reading some of my posts — my “Allowing and Receiving” post, specifically.
I’m not taking credit for his orgasm success (okay, well, I’d love to!), but really it’s about him shedding some of the patriarchal bullshit and cultural stereotypes of sex and orgasm. Divesting himself of aiming for a pre-determined goal has opened up his body and his mind to new realizations in arousal and the orgasmic response(s).
Okay, so I’m totally interjecting my perspective on his experience, but here is what he first wrote in about experiencing a soulgasm(!!!), and below is what he said today.
I love ending the night on a good note.
trish
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August 20, 2012 | Categories: awakening, comments, connection, ejaculation, emotion, erection, full body waves, journey, libido, male orgasm, male perspective, men, multiple orgasms, penis, reclaiming sexuality, relaxation, sex education, sex toy, techniques, training | Leave A Comment »