Awakening Sexuality & Activism for Women's Rights

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RADIO: Trish Causey Discusses Kundalini Awakening with Carolyn Cowan


ArousedWoman - Kundalini AwakeningKundalini master teacher Carolyn Cowan from the UK joins me to discuss the ancient practice of Kundalini awakening.

Carolyn was trained by Yogi Bhajan and accesses Hindu archetypes, Sanskrit mantras, Aghoric references, astral and etheric travelling, soul journeying, meditation, posture, breath manipulation and encourages conscious connections to our individual strengths and un-accessed, unacknowledged powers and abilities.

Some of the topics we will cover include the following:

  • Kundalini yoga and its history
  • Shakti, life force energy
  • Yogi Bhajan, who brought Kundalini to the West
  • Kundalini syndrome
  • The difference between Kundalini and Tantra
  • Carolyn’s teaching method that she shares with students around the world

Tune in today at 3 p.m. ET/2 p.m. CT (and for those in the UK, that’s 8 p.m. your time).  Listen online as Trish Causey Discusses Kundalini Awakening with Carolyn Cowan.  International listeners can call in via Skype.  Listeners in the US can call in with questions or comments at (347) 884-8792.  All listeners can post in the show’s online chat room, just click the link above here.

Namaste!

trish


RADIO: Trish Causey Talks With William Buhlman About Astral Travel & OBE’s


Big-Bang-OrgasmTonight on The Trish Causey Show, I talked with astral travel and out-of-body experience expert William Buhlman.

Here’s the link to the replay:  Trish Causey Talks With William Buhlman About Astral Travel

Bill has over 40 years of experience with his own OBE’s and teaches his technique around the world as well as at the famed Monroe Institute in Virginia.

On the show, some of the topics we covered included the following:

  • What is the Astral Plane, and what is beyond
  • Spiritual experiences (NOT religious!) due to having an OBE
  • Astral sex (of course, I had to ask!)
  • Dreams, meditation, past lives, religion, angels, and more!

Listen to the show, and then leave your comments HERE!  Can’t wait to read what you thought of this cool topic.  I truly enjoyed chatting with William Buhlman.

Have a look at some of his books below, and he told me after the show that he has a new book coming out on the afterlife.  So I’ll have him back on the show soon to discuss that!

Thank you all for listening!

trish

Recommended Reading:


Health: The Human Energy Field, by Valerie V. Hunt, Ph.D.


Chakra-aura-orgasm-energy-systemThe Human Energy Field: An Interview with Valerie V. Hunt, Ph.D. via The Human Energy Field: An Interview with Valerie V. Hunt, Ph.D.

When the pattern of the electromagnetism is disturbed in the body, you will get disease and malfunction. And this electromagnetic pattern can be disturbed in a number of ways: genetically, due to the nature of the tissue, although I don’t think that’s a major factor; experientially, due to lifestyle patterns; or emotionally, which I think is the primary factor. What happens is there is a disturbance that occurs in the electromagnetism of the tissue, which will eventually alter the chemistry. And actually this goes clear to the DNA. I predict we will learn before long that the DNA is reprogrammed by the emotional organization of the energy field. I am not saying this simply. I have had experiences here.

What you are saying, then, is that the primary cause of all disease occurs first and foremost in the field. Correct?

Absolutely. Many people are coming to that conclusion theoretically. I’m coming to it through my research.

Conversely, then, for healing to truly occur, it has to occur in the field, as well.

All healing that takes place in alternative medicine is electromagnetic. Whether it’s the laying on of hands, Tai Chi, meditation — everything that takes place, even the thought process, or the person’s intent or spiritual state, changes the electromagnetic field and changes it almost instantaneously. Now if it stays changed and improved, the body heals itself, and the chemistry reorganizes. This biochemical reorganization is the effect that medicine is working upon. Medicine has never, ever cured anything. The body cures itself. Sometimes, in emergency situations, we need the offset of biochemistry, but not as a cure of disease. It never has cured disease, and it never will cure disease. Only if the field changes will there be a true cure.

Read more: The Human Energy Field: An Interview with Valerie V. Hunt, Ph.D.


Mind, Body, Spirit: Breathing ~ the Importance of Being Inspired Repeatedly


phoenix-gold-fire-blaze1I can think of no better place to begin discussing Mind, Body, and Spirit topics than with breathing.  Considering that the act of breathing is something most of us take for granted, the role of breathwork and mindful breathing can be truly transformative to your mind, your body, and your spirit.

The process of breathing is a complex coordinated effort that involves the whole torso, not just the lungs.  If you follow a yogic or body awareness path, then breathing can be a full-body sport.  As a voice teacher, I start all my students on ujjayi breathing, the belly breathing technique from yoga, before we sing any scales or attempt any songs.  The student must begin to incorporate ujjayi breathing into their everyday life and subsequently into their singing.  Phonation (sound production) is based on airflow.  While vocal science research has shown that the vocal folds are responsible for controlling airflow across the vocal folds when we speak or sing, breathing is a coordinated dance of the abdominal muscles, the thoracic and pelvic diaphragms, as well as the internal and external intercostal muscles of the ribcage (to say nothing of the bronchi and alveoli inside the lungs responsible for the gas exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide).

Deep, calm breathing has many relaxing and healthful benefits mentally and somatically.

Mind:

When we are under stress, nervous, or anxious, the body releases stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.  An adrenal response evolved from the human body’s early days, adrenaline is great if you’re chasing a mammoth or running from a saber-tooth tiger.  It’s not so great if you’re about to go on stage to recite your lines or enter a restaurant on a first date.  Adrenaline floods the brain, sort of shutting down the frontal lobes, which are responsible for things like language.  (Another reason being nervous before an audition or a date can leave you stumbling for words like a blithering idiot.)  With the frontal cortex on coffee break, the primal brain takes over and straddles the fence in fight-or-flight mode.  Deep, slow breathing can counter all of this, calming the mind and allowing the stress to be manageable so you can deal with it like a rational human and not a caveman.  Breathwork allows you to focus on the task at hand or ease your pesky thoughts away if you’re trying to meditate.

Try sitting alone, with all noisy electronic devices turned OFF, and just breath deeply for 10 or 15 minutes.

Body:

Breathing is the action by which we replenish that chemical that is pertinent to our existence:  oxygen.  Breathing high in the chest — upper chest breathing — is a style of breathing in early English and French singing, but it is not recommended for any singing, speaking, or breathwork, in my opinion, because upper chest breathing also triggers the release of adrenaline.  Breathe low in the belly, breathing down into the pelvic diaphragm.  In voice, this style of breathing is called appoggio, but it is basically ujjayi breathing.  I’ve been known to have students lie on the floor or sit against the wall in chair pose to feel the expansion of the back while breathing and singing.  While on the floor, I have them place their binder or sheet music on their stomach so they can see when the book rises and falls and learn to associate that feeling with proper, deep abdominal expansion and contraction.  A mirror is crucial to see the ribs moving outward away from the torso.

When we focus on breathing, we tend to focus on our body and our alignment, taking an inventory of how we’re doing physically.  Tantra and Kundalini paths use different breathing exercises like kapala bhati and bhastrika that really, really work the body — these are powerful breath practices that require guidance from a teacher, especially if you’re engaging the body by applying “locks” at certain chakras.  And in case you’re wondering, oxygen feeds orgasms!

A basic Sun Salutation is a great way to combine deep breath and body work to get the blood and oxygen flowing.

Spirit:

The word spirit comes from the Latin spiritus meaning “soul, vigor, breath,” derived from the word spirare which means “to breathe,” the root of both of these being spir.  When we are born, the first thing we do once the umbilical cord is cut is breathe — we take in breath, we are in-spir-ed, or inspired.  The last thing we do before we shake off this mortal coil is to exhale our last breath — ex-spire, or expire.  In between that first inspiration and our final expiration, we take in and release breath repeatedly, or as we call it re-spir-ation, the act of respiration.

It is no coincidence to me that the lungs are located right there at the heart chakra.  Whenever we are touched emotionally — in a good way or unpleasant way, we tend to either gasp, inhale quickly, or exhale in sadness or disbelief.  I feel our emotions and breath are connected.  Mindful breathing helps us stay rooted, grounded to the earth, when circumstances leave our mind — or our heart — reeling.  Deep breathing can also lower blood pressure and slow a racing pulse.

Breathwork is absolutely fundamental to being healthy.  The art of being inspired repeatedly throughout our life is as simple as breathing.  When we’re overwhelmed, overly excited, can’t focus, or can’t think, deep breathing can help keep us centered and better prepared to relax into our task at hand or meditation session.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,

trish

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Dream: Astral Travel – Going to the Other Side & Seeing the Source Energy


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
earth-at-night-from-outer-space-1000Some schools of thought say all dreams are a form of astral projection.  If so, then I’m astral traveling 3 to 5 times every night.  But what I consider astral projection — traveling across time/space to the Other Side — has only occurred once — that I remember.

I astral projected in a dream years ago, in 2002, or 2003, maybe 2004 — before Hurricane Katrina.  This was either the only time I’ve ever experienced this or the only time I remember it this fully.

I was flying in my dream, which was great because I had not had a flying dream since I was a young teenager.  As a kid, I’d have dreams in which I would float up out of my body (in the dream) and hang out at the ceiling, sometimes getting bored with whatever was going on in the room, like a classroom or sometimes a hospital/surgical type area, and I’d float out of the room, ducking to not hit my head on the door jamb, then fly/float down the hallway to something more interesting.

In most flying dreams, though, I would be  outside where I could get a running start, spread my arms, take off, and fly — but never higher than just above the trees.  These were always amazing.  I progressed to the point where I didn’t have to take a running start — if I had the thought I wanted to fly, I spread my arms, bent my knees in a small plie’, and I was up in the air, soaring.  The most interesting of these was one dream in which I was flying with Elton John.  I have no idea why I dreamt that.  I love Elton John, but to this day, that is a mystery. :-)

So back to this particular dream… I was enthralled to be flying again, something I had missed for almost two decades. I was flying above the trees.  I looked down as the canopy of treetops whizzed by.  Suddenly, I realized I was not flying horizontally but vertically, like a helicopter going up instead of across.  I thought, “How cool!”

I went up and up, still facing down, looking down towards the land.  Further up and away from the trees.  I went through the thin, low-lying clouds, higher and higher.  Here’s where I started getting worried.  I had no clue what was happening.  Up and up.  Still looking down, I saw I was high enough that I wasn’t just looking at the land or the water, I was now moving up through the clouds.  Layers and layers of frothy white clouds.  Then I was looking down at the clouds — up and up — looking down now at the entire earth, moving further from it at an increasing speed.

As the earth got smaller, I looked down toward what should have been my body but there was nothing there.  I looked to my right at what should have been my arm, but my arm wasn’t there.  I looked to my left, but my left arm wasn’t there.  I thought, “Where’s my body?!”  I looked around at myself, but I wasn’t there — only a fuzz of transparent light.

astral-plane-my-dream-golden-light-source-energy-the-all-trish-causeyI felt my fuzz self cross a barrier, and I realized I had crossed the Veil (as pagans say).  I was on the Other Side.  I slowed down and took it all in, just floating.  I had no body because I pure energy.  Where I was was pure energy.  It looked like an infinity of clouds in a golden light emanating from a huge golden light source off in the distance.  In that instant I experienced what I’d never felt before or since — pure love.  I knew it seemed crazy even at the time — this is what people who have near-death experiences say.  They felt pure love.  But it was true.  I felt pure love.  Pure connectedness to the supraconsciousness.  I felt the infinity of the universe.  I knew I was returning home — returning as light energy to rejoin the All light energy.  No gods.  No Jesus.  No floating Buddha head.  No made up human religious bullshit.  The All was nameless, faceless, race-less, label-less energy.

Feeling that pure love was transformative.  I knew what that pure love was as soon as I felt it and knew, with sadness, no one had ever extended that pure, unconditional love to me here on earth.  I floated in the energy and felt my fuzzy light self being gently pulled toward the golden infinite energy All, and I loved it.  I wanted it.  Nothing had ever felt so wonderful, so intensely right — to be a part of that energy from whence I came, to leave the crap and the struggle of life on the physical plane.  Everything I had ever wanted was right there.  All I had to do was drift in the pure love energy stream to rejoin the infinite Source Energy.

I suddenly remembered my young daughter, and I thought, “Oh well, this was nice, but I have to go back now.”  I expected to drift back to the Veil and begin my descent toward earth.  However, I kept drifting toward the golden light.  I thought, “No, really, I can’t stay. I have to get back to my daughter.”  Nothing changed, in fact, I started moving toward the golden energy faster.  I shouted (as only a fuzz ball of energy can), “NO!  I have to go back to my daughter!  She needs me!!”  I tried to resist the pull of the energy — it was so immensely strong, and truthfully, I really wanted to stay in that perfect love vibration.  But I tried pushing against the pull — hard to do with no arms or legs.  I pushed against it, tried to pull myself away, pushed and pulled, tried again and again.  I yelled, “I HAVE to go back!  My daughter needs me!!”

At that instant, I began plummeting downward, downward, downward, accelerating exponentially.  I saw the earth getting closer and closer.  I went through the earth’s cloud layers, and I went faster.  I worried how I was going to catch myself since I didn’t have a physical body.  Was I just going to land on the roof of my house — SPLAT?!  The earth got closer, then North America, then the Gulf Coast, the water, the trees — boom!

I bolted upright in bed.  I was panting, breathless as if I’d just run a marathon.  I looked down.  I had a body — had arms and legs — nothing seemed broken.  I looked up — the ceiling was intact.  I felt like I had slammed into a concrete wall.  I had crash-landed into my bed.  I had no idea what just happened.  I sat there for a few minutes, thoroughly confused by this, the weirdest dream I’d ever had.

I got up out of bed, shaky on my feet (that I was glad to see had returned), and I checked on my daughter.  She was sound asleep.  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with the house.  I could not wrap my head around what had happened.  Of course, I had heard of out-of-body experiences (OOBE, or OBE), but I had never really delved into the topic, or astral travel, or remote viewing.  I liked my easy-going nature-based Irish pagan path.  I liked my relationship with my perception of a Source Energy, and I left all the New Age woo-woo stuff for the confused woo-woo people (who probably smoked a lot of weed).

Because of this dream/astral dream experience, my perception of “god/gods,” heaven/nirvana, et al were confirmed for what feels right for me.  Science says energy is the basis of the universe, and I saw that that is true.  Spiritual sages say “we are all connected,” and I felt that to be true in my experience.  The bullshit importance humans place on ethnicity, economic class, political party, religious affiliation are all that — bullshit — completely made up, human busy-work to keep the physical plane mired down in drama so the soul energy has something to do while it’s here to learn lessons during its incarnation in the carbon-based meat-suit.

At that moment, I became what I call an Energist.  I believe in Energy.  Gods, goddesses, etc., are anthropomorphized interpretations of particular energy vibrations to appease the inquisitive human-animal’s mind as the soul sorts out its karma this go ’round.

This is when I became a Humanist.  We are all energy.  We are all equal.  We are all connected, regardless of skin color, spiritual path, or other divisive pigeon hole man-made society wants us to buy into to keep strife and war in perpetual motion, usually for the benefit of sociopathic lizard-brains who feed on misery to secure their own financial gain and to ensure their elite status and control.

This earthly existence offers glimpses into the love and connectedness that exist on the Other Side.  They are possible here… if we lose our temporary selves long enough to find our true selves.

This is my experience.  You don’t have to like it, agree with it, or believe it.  It is mine.  This is the experience as it happened to me, so I don’t feel the need to justify or rationalize any aspect of it.  This was a truly integral and life-changing experience for me, and to this day, it greatly influences many of my tenets that I hold to be true for me and my path.

I hope to return to the All Source Energy again this lifetime to say Hi — as  long as I can come back here once I’m done hanging out in the energy love fuzz.

trish

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Tantra: Out With the Old, In With the Older


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

Shri_Yantra_Tantra_MeditationThose of you who have followed my orgasm journal have read about my path to becoming a multi-orgasmic and spontaneously orgasmic woman.  I’ve experienced all sorts of -gasms from multiple orgasms, heart-gasms, leg-gasms, nipple-gasms, urination-gasms, labia-gasms — you name it, my body has -gasmed there.

I embarked on this journey as a means of healing from sexual abuse as a child, rape as an adult, and a miserable marriage.  I just wanted to be able to feel sensation in my clit again after doing damage from vibrators — and to be able to orgasm during sex, a seemingly impossible feat I never accomplished with a partner.  Since starting this path via research, trial and error, and a few different “methods,” I have experienced orgasms, emotions, and awakenings physically and emotionally that I never dreamed were possible.  Along the way, I’ve made mistakes and had revelations, and it has all been one big learning experience.

I had begun a practice about a year ago that is essentially breathing, sound, and touch — supposedly, a protocol “discovered” by accident.  I now feel that this is inaccurate, since combining breathing, sound, and touch is an ancient practice to awaken the subtle body, to trigger the energy fields of the meridians, and to rewire the parasympathetic nervous system.

After all, orgasm is both a physical event and an energy event.  Different systems are activated to bring about each kind of orgasm.

In documenting my journey, I was able to go back and see what I did, when, the circumstances of my emotions at the time, any physical factors, as well as my experiences with the protocol itself, and how it affected me.  (THIS is why journaling is so important — not necessarily at the time of the experience, but it can be very important later.)  Looking back, I noticed that I did everything exactly opposite of what was given in the “protocol,” and when I tried to do it correctly, I hurt my voice or didn’t experience as much as when I did it “wrong.”  Mostly, though, when doing it “wrong,” I experienced huge leaps forward in my orgasmic journey, and I knew that I was doing a practice that was centuries old, a Tantric type of breathing meditation with sound that awakens the body, the mind, and even the spirit/consciousness self.

Incorporating sensual massage and my solo version of the OM clit technique took my orgasmic experiences to a new level.  Learning to love my breasts and starting to accept my body as she is has been healing in many ways, not the least of which has been the change in how I make love to myself.

Over the past year, as I began to sink a little too deep into Yin energy personally while expending inordinate amounts of Yang energy during the push to the 2012 POTUS election (combating GOP repressive crap), I experienced the sexual downward cycles that follow every sexual upsurge high.  I no longer craved manually stimulated orgasms or solo sex sessions.  I could do barely-there nipple stim or gentle clit and labia stim and have those orgasms and be perfectly happy.  I began to fear I was losing my sex drive.  Now, as I am again experiencing changes in my orgasms (that I will write up soon), I have left that other protocol behind and have begun firmly on a Tantric path.

I have started working with a Tantric teacher in Miami, and I am so very happy to be on this path.  The program takes a minimum of six years to complete, so it is definitely a commitment.  At this time, it feels right, and I hope to be able to complete it.  I can’t wait to see what I experience in six months, a year, five years from now by working with a real Tantric.  I know that sounds like forever to some of you, but in the past couple of years I’ve learned that it takes time to process and integrate the new awakenings of the subtle body with the physical body and the emotional and psychological aspects of our selves.

Tantra is a beautiful journey of awareness, transformation, and expansiveness, not the sex orgy touted by “gurus” and media for tabloid fodder… though sex is certainly improved by Tantra consciousness being present.

As Georg Feuerstein says in Tantra, The Path of Ecstasy:

“It is no accident that true Tantric practitioners are called “heroes” (vira), because they must navigate in treacherous waters that demand constant vigilance and great inner strength…. There are no shortcuts, and the quest for quick fixes and weekend enlightement is merely one of the symptoms of the kali-yuga, governed by delusion and greed.”

I think I will be blogging my experiences here, so stay tuned.

trish

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AskTrish: Stop Ejaculating and Have Multiple Orgasms Already


Chakra-aura-orgasm-energy-systemA little something different from the usual AskTrish post

While posting pics on my ArousedWoman Tumblr page, I came across a post on another Tumblr page in which a querent (I’m assuming male) asked:  “when i masturbate and i hit orgasm once i cant have another one why not ? am i doing something wrong ?”  The moderator responded: “no, not everyone is capable of multiple orgasms, that’s just the way it is…”

That is absolutely NOT TRUE — not even for men!

Ejaculating is a reflex, but it is a controllable reflex of the sympathetic nervous system.  Semen is ejected due to contractions by the bulbospongiosus muscle.  On a subtle body/spirit level, ejaculate is comprised of life force energy, and it takes an inordinate about of physical energy to produce and expel ejaculate from the body — hence the reason a guy is usually exhausted and needs a nap afterward.  Ejac expends energy, causing fatigue for the man.

In women, stimulating the clit, which is synonymous to the penis, gives a localized burst of tension release at the clitoris, but any kind of vaginal orgasm (prostate/She Spot, cervical/uterine, AFE, PFE, even perineal sponge) creates full-body waves of bliss that flow and flow and flow, like waves that repeatedly crash against a shore.  The clitoris is wired to the spinal cord via the pudendal nerve, but the vagina’s main nerve is the vagus nerve which bypasses the spinal cord and plugs directly into the brain.

Knowing how the body works physiologically helps in integrating the subtle energy body with the physical body, which leads to orgasms that literally blow your mind and everything you thought you knew about your body or orgasm.  Conjuring orgasm via an energy-based practice with the help of a little anatomy know-how creates orgasm experiences that feel like Big Bang explosions in your core and your head — not localized to just the genitals.

Orgasm is a response of the parasympathetic  nervous system.  Orgasm increases energy.  Many people use climaxing for muscle tension release before bed so they can get sleepy.  However, orgasm in an energy practice gives and expands energy.  From the Greek word, orgasmos, orgasm literally means “to swell.”  Orgasm is NOT the end of a sexual experience but one amazing part of the journey.  The end isn’t even “climax” but bliss, altered states of consciousness (no drugs needed!), awareness, and connection to self, your partner (if applicable), and the Universe.

ALL woman AND men are capable of multiple orgasms — FOR HOURS, days, weeks!  Live your whole life in an orgasmic state of energy bliss… Why not?!

People need to STOP the myths and lies about what is possible in orgasm.  ‘Cause I guaran-damn-tee MOST people have never experienced even an inkling of what orgasm can be.  They grew up jerking off to skin mags and probably learned most of what they know about sex from watching the fakery of porn and memorizing the stupidity of magazine sex quizzes while standing in line at the store.

They should stop giving advice and read my fucking blog already!

trish

* To AskTrish a question, submit your question here. *

* Read more AskTrish posts. *


Quick Post Before Hurricane Isaac Hits


Hey, everybody!

So far, so good here on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. With Hurricane Isaac expected to hit in just a few hours, we are hunkered down.  That it will hit on the 7th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina is something that I’ll process later. :)

I was out riding on my bike in the squalls since I don’t have a surfboard and can’t ride the waves. :P  And I’m trying to finish my theatre writing deadlines because it is the dreaded last week of the month.

Power has been out twice, but it’s on for now (obviously).  I’m in Jackson County, so while we are on the worst side (the northeastern quadrant), I think we’re out of harm’s way with the hurricane itself.  The National Hurricane Center is predicting 14 to 20 inches of rain in the next 2 days for us though.  And that’s where we might see some damage to power and water lines as trees are uprooted due to ground over-saturation.

The one thing I’m not looking forward to — aside from eating pre-prepared food, no electricity, no running water, and no computer (!!!), I’m not looking forward to the eery quiet once the power goes out.  We really have no idea how loud human civilization is until Mother Nature forces you to be completely unplugged.  No phones, computer fans, air conditioner hum, the fridge, the icemaker, the dishwasher, the streetlight buzz, engines, motors, weedwackers — the bells, whistles, dings, and zings of everyday life — just absolute quiet.

As the full-on part of the storm starts, the wind whistles.  The animals stopped making sounds hours before.  As the eyewall approaches, it sounds like a hundred trains going over your head.  It’s quiet again when you’re in the eye of the storm, then more trains as the back side of the hurricane goes over.  The rains stay for as long as the storm stays organized over water and even over land.  There will be lightning and tornadoes.  Then all is quiet again.  The quiet is strange at first, then you realize it’s you resetting to the natural energy around you.  After a while you get used to that and really know what it means to be connected to earth energy — after being so affected by water and wind energies.  Then the electricity comes back on. :)  Makes you wonder which is the real “power”……. And y’all thought a little ol’ Fire Spirit like me couldn’t play nice with the other energies?  Tsk… tsk…

And no, FedEx did not  bring my phone. And I’m kinda annoyed I can’t get any footage of Isaac.

In other news, I rescued a baby squirrel who fell 25 feet out of a pecan tree this morning.  So my daughter and I are feeding him and taking care him until I can find him a new home.  His name, for now, is “Chipmunk.”

Take care!

trish


DailyOJ 08-17-12, Part 2: Lying Broken in Pieces As I Heal


* Read Part 1 here! *

Glad to have movement and feeling in my back again after the excruciating pain that started a week ago, I was really looking forward to resuming my orgasmic awakening routine.  After all, my big, loud O’s had been on lock-down almost all summer while I gorged on stealth and spontaneous orgasms (now to be known as SASO).  Getting back on the path with KSMO & OM-touch was a milestone for my 1-year multi-orgasmic anniversary.

The back pain had been a curious development.  Since losing almost 70 pounds from my highest weight, I know all about pain — back pain, hip/sciatica pain, lower back, neck, every joint imaginable pain, lower extremities/pedal edema, crazy hormones, all while being miserable inside as a person as well.

Similarly to my session on 08-08-12, I laid in bed for a while… a long while… as the majority of pain had melted away rather miraculously.  I don’t know why I had started this “tradition” of laying in bed, allowing my mind to wander, absentmindedly caressing myself.  In the summer, this was practically the extent of my sexual activities — with little privacy to pursue much fun with Sparkles, the SASO’s were exceedingly, surprisingly satisfying.  Now able to arch my back, the nipple O’s also made a glorious return.

The OM-touch orgasms were not instant as they usually were, but rather needed a few strokes on the upper left (my left) part of my clit to get going.  The right side of my clit is also very receptive to OM-touch, and I gratefully accepted the back-arching orgasms from that side as well.  Apparently, with the nipples unresponsive due to pinched nerves in my back, my clit had been less responsive to touch as well — not surprising since the the nipples are wired directly to the clit.

After an incredible length of time that didn’t feel like any time at all, I looked at the  clock.  I wasn’t even sure I had time to get the 20-minute session in much less the after-session fun.  More than an hour had passed.  I decided to begin the 20-minute KSMO session, starting in my old-school style — with my nipples.  I had worried that starting back with KSMO had diminished my nipple/stealth orgasms in a phase of integration.  This can happen as you sojourn on any energy-based orgasm journey.  A big breakthrough explodes then fades — or integrates — as new experiences rise to the surface.  However, I think the issues this past week with the SASO’s were due to the back pain/heart chakra blockage.

I did the 20 minutes, moving to my clit and prostate for the last 10 minutes.  It all felt wonderful, and I was so glad to be able to move my hips again.  I was cutting it close to time, and with only an hour left of free time, I decided not to go for the full Sparkles treatment and just lay in bed.  I took mental notes of all the energy zings all over my skin, the pulsating inside my vagina, the swelling of my prostate (!), the pulsating throbbing of my PC muscles, my anus, and the continuing circles and figure-8′s of my hips that I was not doing intentionally.

After a half hour of this, the “after-O’s” pulsed more slowly as they began to simmer to the background — notice I didn’t have a “big” O, and yet I still had the after-O’s!  Oddly fulfilled and thankfully not hurting, I got dressed, made up my bed, and walked (slowly) back to my desk.

It occurred to me later that lying in the bed before any stimulation or session caress or sounds had been an important aspect of my orgasmic awakening.  If you remember, I shared this article from another site on the concept of “lying broken.”  That being “broken” is one of those glass half-full situations.  You can see yourself as a shambles of what you were, or you can recognize that the pieces are now truly yours  to put back how you  want to be renewed.

This, then, was another eye-opener for me.  Though this experience happened on Friday, 08-17-12, and the Todd Akin “legitimate rape” debacle occurred over the weekend, remembering the “lying broken” article became a welcome glimpse of hindsight.  My heart chakra probably was triggered by my return to KSMO because it was my return to working on me.  For the past several months, I have been going through what I call the “Dark Side of Yin,” a chronic lethargy as old wounds churn at the core of me.  Not being alone during the summer, I had no real time or space to meditate or focus on myself in a self-healing capacity.  I also think some of the Kundalini awakening contributed to my turning inward so significantly — the coiled serpent that began its rise from slumber at my root chakra is making its way through my energy centers, and it appears my heart chakra was the wheel that needed to be cleansed this past week.

My work is not over for my heart chakra, but I do believe I have made great strides toward reassembling the pieces of my broken self into the newly forming me — as a whole woman.  And how fitting that this is occurring as I am about to turn 40.  I am still putting the bad experiences behind me, but more than ever I know that the pieces are mine to assemble as I see fit.  If I don’t like what I see forming, I will go back to lying broken until I once again have a clear vision of my self as a whole human being.  And unlike my afternoon schedule, I can take my time.  That’s why I’m here on this plane anyway.

Aroused and broken but healing,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 08-09-12: The Return of the Tingles


In similar fashion to the return of my afternoon delights yesterday, I had yet another KSMO session and a date with Sparkles, my purple silicone boyfriend. This was concurrent to yesterday’s session, which Jack does not recommend for newbies.  However, I attained Adept status a couple months ago (apparently), so I kinda get to do what I want.  (Neener-neener.)

I had already decided I was going to do back-to-back days about a month ago — the longing to be free again had been so poignant and clear.  (“Man, I just need to be fucked already — and SOON!”)  I had been feeling the almost overwhelming need — craving — to experience that wild, bed-frolicking, hip-rollicking abandon of insatiable passion and out-of-body orgasms that I had glimpsed in the Fall and Spring.  I knew I couldn’t gain it all back overnight, but I figured a few back-to-back sessions wouldn’t do any harm, especially since the weekend is right here, and I’d be back on the wagon.  (Sigh.)

Essentially, today’s session was much like yesterday’s.  I laid in bed an hour in some stupidly ridiculous bliss of just being okay laying in bed being stupidly ridiculously blissful.  My mind wandered.  That was okay.  I stealth O’d.  That was fabulous.  When I was ready for KSMO, I did KSMO.  I felt some tingles which were a good sign, but I didn’t try to make anything happen.  I finished the session, fucked Sparkles, cried, lather, rinse, repeat.

Okay….  Here’s where it got interesting.  In the time afterward, I was paying attention to my body — what I was feeling, where, and how; what I felt emotionally, mentally, intellectually about what I was feeling physically, energetically, spiritually.

I noticed the crying afterward had been delayed by a couple minutes.  This felt strange not to be immediately emotional.  The orgasms felt good.  What was the problem?  I remembered this happened yesterday, too, and I felt the same conflicted response to the quasi-ambivalent emotion.  The crying happened, and when it did, the feelings I felt were not just caused by the stimulation of my A-spot to induce the emotional uterine orgasm (that sounds so mechanical).  What I felt were feelings of emotion that were tied to insecurities and uncertainties about finding a partner:  why would any man want to be with me, why would a man love me, what did I have to offer?  I had no answers, so I cried some more.  I was too involved in the unexpected pity party to pay attention to whatever might have been happening physiologically in my genitals.  I can only assume my body went through its usual after-O’s.  But I don’t know for sure.

As the emotion slowed to a trickle, I noticed energy on my left side, up my leg and into my torso.  I then felt energy collect in the ball of my left foot and shoot out from there.  I have felt this before, and the image that comes to mind is the end of the animated film, The Beauty and the Beast.  During his change from “The Beast” back to a “Man,” a ray of “light” bursts out of his feet and hands.  That is what it feels like — a sudden gathering of energy that shoots out in a ray of light energy explosion… (except my feet aren’t hairy like the Beast’s.  Just sayin’.)

Another unexpected sensation occurred while I was laying there feeling my feelings — the emotional ones as well as the physical sensations.  My eyes were closed, but my attention was drawn to my hands.  If my hands aren’t over my head, they are usually resting on my torso at my bottom rib/waistline area.  I lay like this so my upper arms can support the weight of my breasts.  I thought my hands were in the air, but I didn’t remember telling them to move.  I opened my eyes and looked down.  My arms were still by my sides, my hands still on my waist.  But it felt like my hands were in mid-air, but heavy, like they were trying to pull away from me, or pull me up.  I have felt similar “pulling” sensations when I experienced heartgasms — it felt like my inner me was trying desperately to separate from my body when I was wide awake — this happened for almost two weeks!

The rest of the day, I felt the odd tingle here and there, nothing major nor localized for too long in any one spot.  (Wow, just got a zap of energy through my right outer labia just remembering that.  Cool.)  I didn’t have any single tingle strong enough or long enough for it to register as a particular -gasm, i.e., scalpgasm, leg-gasm, deskgasm, etc.  I could feel the beginnings of the beginnings of awakening, the stirrings before the actual stirrings begin.  So I know the bamboo has been growing under the surface and will burst through soon.  Time is the only water it needs….  Dammit.

Aroused and tingling,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 07-03-12: Integration, Starting Over, & Leg-gasms


I am not a patient person. I don’t like waiting. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like subtlety in most instances.

My Musical Theatre training is probably to blame.

Over the past few weeks, since my last DailyOJ post, I’ve noticed that my orgasms from nipple stimulation or the OM touch are not nearly as… sudden… as they were back in May.

I need even less stim than ever, ironically — one or two flicks of a fingertip, and the orgasms start. They are full-body and oddly satisfying, but my back isn’t arching as much — I can’t even feel my cervix dipping down anymore, or it’s too subtle to notice. The orgasms flow through my body rather than “hit” my body or “explode.” And the ceiling fan is no longer a potential mate.

Whenever a new development occurs, it is usually startlingly noticeable. So very different, so impactful that I have to notice the new reactions my body is having. Then after a month or two, the initial effects fade, or become integrated, and I have to re-learn my body all over again.

But I don’t like starting all over again… okay, it’s not starting “all” over again, but it seems that way. As soon as I learn how to drive this thing, it adds another gear I have to learn to maneuver. In fact, when I occasionally go back and read what I’ve written, I remember the experiences in the post vividly, but it feels like they happened so long ago, that it couldn’t have been just a few weeks ago?!

The couple of times I’ve had the opportunity to use my purple friend (vibe sans batteries) — a couple weeks ago and this morning, a plethora of neighbors has been home in the adjacent apartments. I am now more convinced than ever that SOUND is crucial to bliss. The arousal isn’t as satisfying when I can’t make my loud sounds — not intentionally loud, but just my natural exclamations during the arousal and orgasmic process. And when I can’t be as loud during the orgasms, the orgasms are not as full-filling. They don’t fill up my body. Because my focus is on my body (my voice) remaining inside/ internal (i.e., quiet), the orgasms are localized to the genital and lower abs area but they are not explosive, they are full body wave-like, minus the full body aspect. And they’re not as emotional. So really, I am very annoyed right now.

That being said, I did a hands-on blended O early yesterday morning that was stunning. I haven’t been spending quality time with my prostate like she deserves… seems I’ve been all over these nipple/spontaneous orgasms for the past month, and now that they’re seeming to fade in intensity, my prostate is reminding me she likes to be loved on, too.

Since I can’t be loud much anyway, this is causing me to wonder if I should put my purple friend aside for a while. My initial reaction is a horrified, “NO!” The deep thrusts hitting the AFE/A-spot is the only thing that brings on the crying/uterine orgasms… though… oddly enough, the nipple/OM orgasms have been inducing tears and a softer emotional pull (rather than the deep/core emotional response). And I can keep them going for a while — for as long as I feel like playing with my nipples or my clit. (I’ll alternate so nobody gets sore.) The whole time I feel this swirling of energy in my torso, pushing outward, sometimes upward like it wants to come out my throat/voice, but vocalizations during these kinds of orgasms are more glottal stops rather than moans — I might see if I can specifically direct that energy next time (tonight!).

And while I’m at it, I’ll just mention that I’ve had the strangest, spontaneous shooting of energy down my left leg. It happens while I’m at my desk, especially if I’ve had a scalpgasm. The energy going down is a new one for me. Since starting Kundalini work, I’ve tried to focus on energy going up the spine and down the front. These scalpgasms go around the back of my head, up, then down my neck to my back. Very different for me. Also, when I’m in bed, I will barely brush my fingernail over my left hip flexor, and the entire skin area of my left leg zings with energy — feels like a million little ants are crawling on my leg at once, only it’s not creepy like that. :) It feels tingly fabulous. (I’m getting tingles across the back of my head, and down my arms and legs just proof-reading this!)

All of this leads me to think that I’m in a down-swing, or at least in a phase of integration. The bad news is my Irish impatience is gonna get really frustrated with all this… again… I thought I was finally learning how to Yin, but this is bringing the Yang to the fore like crazy. The goal-oriented, severely attached to the outcome part of me that I had been able to subside is raising doubts, disappointments, insecurity, and fear. I don’t like this one bit.

The good news is that every time there’s been a valley, the next peak has been breathtakingly amazing. So I’m trying to keep the Irish/Yang in check for the next five weeks. We’ll see if I feel more freedom as school starts, and I’m alone during the days again.

Guess, I’ll need to stock up on potstickers till August 7th.

Aroused and integrating,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 05-20-12: OM & Nipple Orgasms


*** The next few of these will be brief, but I think they are important to my development, so I will go ahead and post them. ***

In getting ready for bed, I knew that I was too tired to do much but was still feeling a bit of a buzz from my heartgasm and O’s on Friday. I did some OM technique fingering with my fingertip — maybe 4 or 5, and I orgasmed a full-body, kundalini orgasm. I kept OM-ing and kept orgasming.

The OM technique is very specific, and I was shocked (!!!) when the orgasm hit so soon. It was kind of like… “Okay, now what?”… I didn’t have to wait.

Now that I was in that energy, the O’s kept coming with little stim needed on my nipples alone. I had not done much with my breasts since experiencing painful nipple sensitivity for a couple weeks. Thankfully, that had passed.

I did a few more orgasms via OM clit stim, and felt amazing. These O’s aren’t explosive heat like the usual clit O’s, and I don’t experience any noticeable explosions in my head like true kundalini orgasms. But what I feel throughout my body is a sudden wave of whoosh!, a full-on release of energy in all directions simultaneously, but I also notice the energy racing up my arching spine, and even into my throat area. It’s as if the energy expands through me — a Big Bang rush, rather than “runs” out, the way other orgasms can taper off.

It is nothing short of incredible, and it’s happening more frequently… All in all, loverly.

Aroused and OM-ing,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 01-20-12: The Clit Discussed Further


January 20, 2012

You’ll notice I haven’t said much about the clitoris.

Since discovering blended orgasms over a decade ago, I don’t usually do clit-only stimulation.  And with my recent explorations inside and the energy / sound orgasmic practice and sensual massage, I can use less stimulation on my clit — even prefer less stimulation on my clitoris.  In fact, I recently tried doing clit-only stimulation to orgasm, and while I did reach orgasm, it was boring as hell.  The orgasm was very localized to the clit itself, and there was no heat, no waves of pleasure, not even a real urge to go for another orgasm.  It almost makes me sad to think my clit is a one-hit wonder.  I guess blended O’s are the only orgasms I really enjoy.

And in regard to multiple orgasms.  I’m not at the point where I can have several orgasms that automagically spring off the first orgasm (if that’s what people do).  I still have to stimulate my clit and She spot for them.  I want to get to that point of reaching orgasm and riding the waves of numerous orgasms.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my She Spot!  And needing less stim on my clit is greatly appreciated — she can get sore with all those frantic circles.  One KSMO adept has even talked about a position he does with his wife that he calls “the wedding band” which entails hours of pleasure from mutual prostate play.  Now, that is my kinda fun on a lazy afternoon!

One thing I have noticed since my orgasms have become so much stronger is how my clit naturally recedes into the body/pubic bone when I’m near orgasm.  My clit is practically flush to my pubic bone near and during orgasm, and I just have to trust that she’s still there, tending to very important orgasm duties inside.

By the way, I’m looking into another technique that focuses on the clitoris, so stay tuned for more reports from the field!

Aroused and trusting,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read The DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 11-29-11: Biggest Orgasm Ever & Female Prostate Awakening


Big-Bang-OrgasmNovember 29, 2011

I have a little more to report but it is similar to my previous journal entry on my expanding awareness and experiences with awakening my female prostate and the wonders it is slowly revealing to me.  But I don’t want to seem redundant — it’s not exactly the same ol’ song, but perhaps a variation on a theme.

With the Turkey holiday, I was not at home by myself during the days last week, so my KSMO practice dropped to nill. By Sunday, the schedule was almost normal (because school would be back in session for my daughter Monday).  So Sunday night, I decided to enjoy some solo sex as it was my day off from KSMO, and I was off my moon (Auntie Flo had left the building!).  My female prostate was buzzing back to life, and I was just plain horny.

I don’t know what happened, but I enjoyed the upswing to orgasm and the after orgasm, but somehow missed the explosion of the orgasm itself.  It reminded me of my old She-Spot orgasms (She-Spot stimulation only) where the build up can blend into the after-orgasm without that “cresting of the wave” or as I term it, the “explosion” of the orgasm.

The explosion orgasms, for me, are clitoral.  Long ago, I put 2 and 2 together and got explosive, full-body orgasms by doing clit and She-Spot stim simultaneously.

But this on Sunday, almost felt like a let-down.  Although it was deliciously pleasurable, without that “cresting” at the top of the wave/orgasm, all I got was the denouement.  But I kept stimulating, wanting to come “again” — and this time feel it.  But I stayed in the after-O state for a good 20 minutes before I just gave up.  Now, please know, this all felt really good.  In the after-orgasm phase, I’m still highly aroused, making sounds, rapid breathing, legs shaking constantly, everything pulsating and contracting.  I just really love that explosive part of orgasm.

Then Monday, I really felt my female prostate all day.  When I went to the bathroom, my FP (female prostate) was pleasurably noticeable.  Around 2:00 p.m., I figured I’d skip the 20-minute KSMO practice and just take care of my FP which seemed to really want some attention.  So I did.

As in the previous post, stimulating my prostate (just the finger pumping of the FP, no clit stim) for 10 seconds at a time was more than I could handle.  I had to stop 3 times.  Again, I thought I’d just use my penis-shaped vibe (minus the vibration) to achieve orgasm, assuming it would be less intense than the FP/finger pumping.  AGAIN, I was wrong.  I couldn’t handle that either.

I would start the finger pumping — instantly , my hips shot up off the bed, I was whining/moaning, and I didn’t last more than 10 seconds — literally.  I stopped, my hips dropped to the bed, and I was panting, out of breath as if I’d just run up 10 flights of stairs.  I’ve never felt anything like this.  Ever.

So I gathered my courage and attempted it again — with the same results: hips reaching to the ceiling, me whining/moaning, unable to stand the intense pleasure erupting from my prostate.  I stopped, dropped to the bed, and panted.

Determined to conquer whatever this was, I went for it a third time with the same results — again — after only 10 seconds — again.

I brought my fingers out of my vagina.  Panting.  I was not sure what to do next, but I suddenly started crying.  I was feeling all the great pre- and post-O arousal I normally feel but at the same time.

Finally, I decided to just go for it.  I didn’t care about the neighbors or if anyone could hear me.  I made sounds I’ve truly never made before, felt things I’ve never felt before, and I wanted it to go on forever.  I wouldn’t have minded if I didn’t have the explosion part of orgasm because, frankly, I didn’t know if I’d survive it.  But if I’m gonna go, I figured this would be a great way to die. :-)

When the explosion happened, I almost sprang off the bed.  I burst into a million stars and floated up.  I was there with the Universe.  I was the Universe.  It was absolutely indescribable, the feelings of being connected to everything at once, infinite joy, love, peace — just as I’d felt in my dream / astral experiences.

My physical body burst into gut-wrenching tears, and I cried uncontrollably, heaving sobs my body is not used to emitting.  My body was doubled over, then jerking back into tension-filled arches, then doubling over again, over and over, convulsing from the emotion of what I had just experienced — all while I was still orgasming from the emotions springing from my core, my awakened prostate, and experiencing this uterine orgasm for the first time.

I don’t know how long the orgasm lasted — yes, I kept going with the vibrationless-vibe because for me, stopping the stimulation at or just after orgasm feels like having my soul plucked out from under me.  So I kept going through the post-orgasms — the quaking after-shocks of hundreds of smaller orgasms and contractions of the clit, She-Spot, cervix, uterus, anus, legs shaking, hands and feet buzzing with energy.  Except these weren’t smaller like they usually are — they were intense.  I finally stopped because it was so powerful  I actually thought I might really die from the pleasure — a full-body heart chakra attack… and I was blubbering like an idiot.

This experience seemed to last forever, but looking at the clock it was only 2:45.  How could I have experienced “forever” in less than 40 minutes?  And to be honest, I really needed a big hug.  Sometimes being alone truly is lonely.

*** Read Part 2 of this journal entry. ***

Aroused and awakening,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


REVIEW: Journey Through the Chakras CD


Journey Through the Chakras is a guided meditation CD by “intuitive counselor” and musician Colette Baron-Reid.

An author and creator of oracle cards, Baron-Reid is billed as having “facilitated hundreds of her popular seminars and workshops on developing intuition.”  She also wrote the books The Map: Finding the Magic and Meaning in the Story of Your Life and Remembering the Future: The Path to Recovering Intuition.

Baron-Reid is firmly entrenched in the 21st century New Age movement, so this CD may not resonate immediately for those who are more logically-minded.  However, without knowing much else about her and by listening to the CD, I can sense Baron-Reid is adept at helping clients attune to their inner selves.  After all, loosening the hold (and reliance) on the logical mind is part of the inner journey we all encounter as we grow spiritually and energetically.

“Chakra” is Sanskrit for “wheel” and refers to the philosophy of seven energy centers that correspond to seven body centers from the tailbone to the crown of the head.  As with Chakra or Kundalini training, Journey Through the Chakras begins with the first chakra and its correspondences, progressing through each energy center.  The vivid guided meditation is narrated by Baron-Reid herself, over original music by Mars Lasar.  The CD concludes with an original song written and sung by Baron-Reid.

Pros:
The CD has its flaws, but overall, I do think it has merit for those wanting an indirect lesson in learning about the chakras.  It is less than an hour long, and yet doesn’t feel that long.

The very aspects of the CD that some listeners find endearing, others will find annoying:  repetition of certain phrases, nature sounds, breathing “ahhhhhh” sounds at various intervals, and New Agey music underscore.  Oddly, the more I listen to the CD, the less some of these elements stand out, and therefore the less they annoy me.

Cons:
Baron-Reid is clearly not a voice over artist.  Her voice has a rasp to it that some find to be sultry, but I do not — I think she needs to be seen by a speech pathologist.  She also breathes in strange places, and her voice gives out at times, which are clear indications of weak breath support.  Her glottal stops on words beginning with vowels were truly annoying to me.

The audio engineer did not edit the voice over track to current industry standards — you can hear Baron-Reid’s mouth clicks, lip smacks, numerous plosives, and weird breathing.  **Note:  I am being extremely picky here. Some people find her voice to be “sultry” and “husky,” lending a sensual feel to the meditation.  But since this is an audio review, I have to lay it all on the table for the potential listener.  Your mileage may vary.**

Overall:
It’s too soon to tell if I will ever really love this CD, but I do think it has some valuable properties.  I have found myself plugging in to listen to it as I lay on my bed, wanting to let my mind wander a bit.  I do not focus on picturing the journey as she describes, but rather what I want to think about, and yet, I occasionally find myself suddenly visualizing the scene she is currently describing.

In the few days I’ve had the CD, I’ve listened to it perhaps 5 to 7 times.  Each night I’ve had a strange dream or series of dreams involving my current life circumstances (which I never dream about), people I know (I almost never dream about people I actually know), situations I know I need to resolve, getting help (from people I never thought would be willing to help me), and other “strange”/never-dreamt-that-before types of dreamscapes.  Interesting, indeed.

How to Use this CD:
Like most “pursuits” that are spiritual or energy based, you cannot actually pursue them.  Your subconscious self has to be open to receiving information which in turn allows you to experience and integrate needed information into your psyche and your subconscious.  Only half listening to this CD brought me dreams I don’t think I would have had otherwise.  I can only wonder “what dreams may come” if I actually did the meditation/visualization.

Perhaps I will revisit this review in a month’s time.  I am not sorry I bought the CD — I generally despise guided meditations and I’ve never bought one before now, so the fact that I actually bought this and keep listening to it must mean something positive for its effect on me.

Aroused and meditating,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


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