Awakening Sexuality & Activism for Women's Rights

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Review: “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure” – A How-To Video for Women to Enjoy Giving Head


Oral Sex for Her Video Training FellatioI recently saw the initial release of a new how-to video series, “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure”.  I would have assumed that such a women-centric company like OneTaste would have created a cunnilingus how-to, but they have done the unexpected by creating a video that explains how a woman can receive pleasure from giving a man fellatio.  I can heartily recommend this video to any man or woman who wants to learn a little more about how women can truly enjoy giving oral sex.

Now, this is certainly not news to me — I orgasm just thinking about giving a man head.  Spontaneous orgasms just hit.  I love the feel of my mouth being full with a man’s penis.  The taste, the smell, the texture.  I absolutely love it.  And the truth is, when a woman gives great head, she owns the man.  Seriously.

Whenever I give a man oral sex, I always tell him emphatically, “Lay back.  This is for me.  If you enjoy it, that’s a side benefit.”  I have always loved giving fellatio, or as I call it lingam puja (penis worship).  Even in the midst of a miserable marriage, I still loved giving oral sex.  I figured out that giving him a blow job once per week meant he didn’t complain about bills.  And while I loathe the term “blow job”, that time of my life is the only time oral sex felt like a job — a chore, and yet I still loved the act of fellatio itself, even though I detested the man attached to the penis.

The concept behind the “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure” video and corresponding training materials hinges on the fact that women can indeed enjoy giving men oral sex.  If she doesn’t want to do oral sex or has a negative perspective due to bad experiences, then she might want to see how much pleasure she can have from it.  The first step in a woman receiving pleasure while giving head is realizing that the woman has to want to give head.

Now, before you cry, “That’s male bullshit!”, I understand if you haven’t always (or ever) enjoyed oral sex.  Cultural and religious demonization of sexuality, women, women’s bodies, and women’s sexual pleasure have brainwashed society for over 1,700 years, since the rise of imperial patriarchal religion crushed the remaining woman-centic goddess cultures.  Women have absorbed this anti-sex and anti-pleasure propaganda, compounded by bullying about how women smell “down there”, and the ludicrous farce of how women are portrayed in most porn.  Erotica is woman-centric and respectful of women.  And we are a new generation of women who love ourselves and love sexuality without shame or apology!

Some things you will LOVE about this how-to video:

  • It’s only $8.
  • The woman is not a size 2.
  • Her breasts are real.
  • The man is UNcircumcised!!!  Yes, a real, natural, intact penis!!!  Woo-hoo!!!

In fact, she almost apologizes that, at the beginning, his penis is soft.  So allow me to say for once and for-fucking-all — the SOFT penis is a marvelous thing!  In Tantra, we have several nifty positions and activities for the soft penis, including soft entry penetration (yes, the man enters the vagina with a soft penis) and lingam massage, which is best done with a soft penis to help direct energy flow up into the torso, arms, and legs, rather than out the tip of the penis (helps with ejac control, too).  So starting an oral session with a soft penis is fantastic because you get to experience how his body feels as the penis changes in size and hardness.  (You control him.)

Back to the video….  She talks about her experience in learning to love oral sex.  She also tells the good, bad, and ugly of what intense oral sex does for the woman, including the “furrowed brow” which is a tale-tell sign a woman is in orgasm, the deep-throating technique, as well as the steady stream of “snot” from her nose and the “spot” in the woman’s mouth that triggers orgasms throughout her body.  Yes, you will absolutely see the “snot” running out of her nose.  Yes, you see her crying several times from the intensity of the orgasms.  I’ve written plenty of times here about how the more gut-wrenching my crying is directly equates to the intensity of my orgasm(s).  Crying is an integral part of my orgasmic experience, so it’s great to hear other women talking about this topic as well.

As for the “snot”, I would like to clarify that she is not referring to the thick, gross “snot” of a sinus infection, but rather the normal sinus muscosa you have draining down the back of your throat 24/7.  This mucosa is a necessary moisturizing lubricant for the back of the pharynx (very back of the mouth, top of the throat).  In fact, when you don’t have this normal nasal drip, you may experience a dry cough or have clogged sinuses.  So this mucosa is what she has dripping from her nose — but that’s okay!  Vaginal fluids are also a type of mucosa (derived from the plasma from the blood in the vaginal walls’ muscular tissue), and men LOVE lapping it up!  So let the snot run!  After all, when your mouth is full of penis, the only way the snot can go is out your nose (or your ear, but that would take a miracle of physics).

Another thing you’re likely to notice in her technique is that she is actually quite still — remember me talking about slow sex?  In Tantra, there is a technique of motionless sex — yes, motionless!  The oral technique as shown in the video will help any woman out there who’s gotten whiplash bobbing her head up and down while giving a blow job.  (Again, most porn is ridiculous).  If you want to learn some groovy info and techniques, watch this how-to.

I can definitely recommend this affordable $8 video that can introduce you to the amazing world of women’s pleasure as instructed in “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure”.  I give my full approval of the information in this video and all the products they have.  THEY LOVE WOMEN!  And when you’ve seen it, come back here, and leave a comment telling me what YOU think of the video!

trish


OpEd: Why Is Circumcision Still Considered a Humane Procedure?


© 2013 by Trish Causey.  All Rights Reserved.

Man in Turtleneck Sweater - End CircumcisionIn my current class on Methods of Inquiry, one topic that came up is the ethics of the social sciences and research.  My professor shared a power point presentation from a friend of hers, and in it, various points were made in regard to research on human subjects.  The Nuremberg Doctors’ Trials, the Tuskegee syphilis scam research project, and the Stanford prison study all contributed to the passing of the National Research Act of 1974.  This act allowed for the creation of the National Commission for the Protection of Human Subjects of Biomedical and Behavioral Research, which helped establish certain guidelines for conducting tests and research on human beings:

  • Voluntary Participation
  • No Harm to Participants
  • Informed Consent
  • Protection of Vulnerable Populations
  • Honest Reporting of Results

Of course, I had to bring up the human rights violation that is routine infant circumcision.  Circumcision itself is not a research project, except that there is research surrounding circ that just happens to use live babies, and apparently, circ is not covered in ethics classes or the social sciences when discussing inhumane, unnecessary medical procedures.

Here, then, is my post in my class’ discussion of the humane treatment of consenting volunteers — I thought my avid activist readers would enjoy a good Irish rant.

On the subject of human experiments, my activist ire is burning brightly, so you can ignore the entire rest of this post…. But if you’re brave….

Saying research on humans must be completely voluntary is great, but the reality is that is not what happens in the United States on one particular kind of “research”.  Non-consensual human research does in fact still happen.  In the United States, routine infant circumcision (RIC) on baby boys occurs on a daily basis — female genital cutting has been outlawed in the United States, but it is still practiced in some parts of the world.  Both male and female genital mutilation are violations of a child’s basic human rights to body autonomy and self-determination.

While parents think they have the right to mutilate their sons, the boy himself actually has the only say in what happens to his body, especially when circumcision is an unnecessary cosmetic procedure.  Even if the parents’ religion “requires” circumcision, the boy himself is too young to voice if he has chosen to join his parents’ religion.  Thanks to the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, every American citizen is guaranteed the Freedom of Religion; and in the case of circumcision, boys have the right to Freedom FROM Religion.  HIS body.  HIS choice.

So why do I bring this up?  (Besides the fact that I’m an intactivist — an activist for keeping boys’ and girls’ genitals intact.)  When a child is circumcised, he may not receive any anesthesia — even if given a local anesthetic, it does not do much.  The male foreskin has 20,000 – 30,000 nerves.  Yes, he DOES feel it.  If he isn’t screaming, he’s in shock.  So, is this humane?

Circumcision is now being shown to hinder a baby boy’s desire to latch on during breastfeeding — the baby probably feels betrayed by the mother.  New studies are showing that circ affects the way in which the neurological pathways grow and connect as well as the psychological development — it’s no coincidence that the most violent and misogynist countries in the world tend to practice routine infant circumcision — America is especially included!

I invite you to watch a video of circumcision on YouTube.  If you can’t sit through it without wincing, ask yourself how HE feels — and why does our culture still do this to infants who are only days old?  Is this humane?

Worse than all of this is that the foreskins aren’t just thrown away.  The hospitals sell the amputated foreskins to research labs since animal research is no longer an accepted practice (and rightfully so!).  The DNA and cells from the foreskins are used in research by bio-engineering and cosmetic companies.  Cosmetic companies are looking for the “fountain of youth”, and they’ve found it in the mutilated genitals of non-consenting newborn babies.  The next time you’re shopping for some anti-wrinkle cream, call the company — Mary Kay, SkinMedica, Cover Girl, etc. — and ask if they STILL use foreskin-derived cells in their products.

Interestingly, the buying and selling of body parts is illegal in the United States.  I can’t sell a kidney or an ovary or even a length of my hair because it would be considered trading in body parts.  And yet the medical system does exactly that — buying and selling the human body parts of non-consenting children and profiting handsomely from it.  Must be nice to own the FDA like that.

Over the course of its use and being sold and re-sold and then put into over-priced facial creams, one baby foreskin can eventually be worth $100,000.  So everyone from the doctor to the hospital, to the labs, to the bio-medical and cosmetic companies gain big returns for stealing parts of a boy’s body, and yet the boy loses — so much more than just the foreskin.

Think circumcision prevents AIDS?  It doesn’t.  Prevents infections?  It doesn’t.  Looks “better”?  No, it doesn’t.   The studies done in Africa were skewed from the beginning, and a recent study showed higher HIV rates among circ’d men than intact.  In fact, the foreskin contains special cells — Langerhans cells — and according to Nature Medicine magazine, “Langerin is a natural barrier to HIV-1 transmission by Langerhans cells.”  The foreskin is not supposed to retract until it is ready to, usually around the onset of puberty; the foreskin actually protects the penis from infections.  The foreskin also keeps the head of the penis smooth and soft, unlike circ’d glans that tend to look dry and cracked and develop keratinization (thickening of skin similar to scar tissue) from rubbing up against the boy’s/man’s clothes.

It is also estimated that 60% of erectile dysfunction in adult men is due to routine circumcision that was done when they were newborns.  While the foreskin itself is small when it is amputated during RIC, once the boy grows into a man, the amount of skin removed equates to about 15 square inches of penile skin, including the frenulum (of the frenular delta) which is the most nerve-dense part of the foreskin.

Women who have been sexually active with intact men say there is a difference in the way intact men approach sex.  These men seem to be more sensitive to the woman and more aware of what is happening in her vagina than cut men are.  The foreskin mucosa also acts as natural lubricant.  I can attest that men who have been circ’d have problems expressing themselves emotionally and in bed.  Many cut men need “dry sex” to feel friction against the scar tissue (keratinization) on the underside of the penis in order to reach ejaculation.  Dry sex is painful for women, but I can also attest that women don’t want to hurt the man’s feelings; and so, we endure painful sex so as not to further damage the man’s self-esteem.  (Note:  Not all circ’d men need dry sex “to feel something”, but many do, and many circ’d men have fulfilling sex lives.)

At Good Samaritan Hospital in Cincinnati, Ohio, a study is being done on 200 newborn boys who are being mutilated to determine which of two circumcision clamps is “better.”  This “better” clamp will be determined subjectively by seeing which clamp produces fewer blood-soaked bandages and by judging the amount of pain expressed on the babies’ faces.  Again, when did these boys give consent to participate in this study?  Is this a humane study?  Doesn’t this violate the National Research Act of 1974?

Circumcision can cause all sorts of problems from infections to damage to the meatus and urinary tract.  And there is even a consequence called “degloving”, in which the doctor accidentally removes ALL of the skin from the baby boy’s penis.  Yes, this happens often enough that there is a name for it.

If all of this were not bad enough, on average, 117 baby boys die each year in the United States from “routine” circumcision.  If a diet pill caused 117 deaths each year, the FDA would ban it.  And yet, circumcision is “routine”.

So why, then, is it not outlawed?  Because some people are afraid of offending people of Jewish culture — however, few Americans would be afraid to offend Muslims, who also practice circumcision.  A person can be proud to be of Jewish culture and NOT circumcise their son, who may or may not choose to join Judaism as his chosen religion, if any.  A baby cannot voice that he does or does not want to be Jewish (in religion), so whatever his parents’ religion might be is superfluous.  (Again, I point out the freedom FROM religion guaranteed to every American citizen.)  Added to that, the “ritual nick” that is supposed to be the “bris” is NOT what is “routinely” done by skinning the penile glans of its protective barrier, the foreskin.  Circumcision as it is practiced in America today is actually the modus operandi from the sexually repressed Victorian age, who touted circumcision — to the otherwise intact population — as a means of preventing boys from masturbating.  But if you’re interested in the Jewish perspective of RIC, check out JewsAgainstCircumcision.org.

For more information on the erroneous myths and so-called science behind the pro-circ propaganda, visit IntactAmerica.org, Circumstitions.com, and similar — and for those in the SanFran area: BayAreaIntactivists.org.

As a tribute to the natural penis, I asked intact men to submit photos of their penis in various states to help women (and other men) get accustomed to what a natural penis looks like, and I wrote this article on my blog (warning: it’s NSFW :-) ).  If you’re on Twitter, you can ask a question about circumcision, and be sure to use the hashtag #i2 to reach out to the #nocirc intactivists.  To learn more about the history of circumcision, how it’s done, and consequences, watch “Circumcision: The Whole Story” (also NSFW).

Activist rant is complete… for now…. :-)

trish


Take #ArousedWoman’s Orgasm Questionnaire!


Chakra-aura-orgasm-energy-systemHey, everybody!

As I look ahead to my online orgasm training workshop, I am conducting an Orgasm Questionnaire and would love to have as many readers participate as possible!

This questionnaire should take about 30 minutes to fill out, and there are no wrong answers. It’s also pretty nosy, so brace yourself!

Filling out this questionnaire in NO WAY obligates you to participate in the workshop. But the questions are geared to those who would be interested in taking my online orgasm workshop this summer.

No part of the questionnaire will be published without your express permission. However, some of the responses may be used ANONYMOUSLY in a post here on ArousedWomanBlog.com, based on the statistical information that may be of use to my readers.

NOTE: Some of these responses are required, so look carefully at each question. (I hope you’ll answer each one!)

I appreciate you taking this Orgasm Questionnaire so I can better understand my readers’ sex lives and orgasm habits.

Thanks!

trish

ArousedWoman’s Orgasm Questionnaire:
© 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

ANSWER EVERY QUESTION EVEN IF IT ISN’T FOR YOUR GENDER, or if it DOESN’T APPLY just put N/A. The form will NOT submit if a question is not answered (blame WordPress).





























































Recipe: Almond Milk & Chia Seed Vegan Drink for Omega-3


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

almond-milk-chia-seed-drinkA quick recipe for a quick drink that can be the vegan answer to taking fish oil for Omega-3′s!

Omega-3 is an essential fatty acid that your body must have but cannot produce on its own, so we have to get it from our food.  Omega-3′s are required by the brain for proper cognitive function, and recent research is starting to link Omega-3 deficiency and Alzheimer’s.  Omega-3′s are also shown to lower blood pressure in hypertensive patients and decrease internal inflammation that affects joints and organs.  Plus, Omega-3′s help with arthritis, depression, and mood swings.

What does that mean for orgasms?  Proper blood circulation is required for erections (in men and women), and of course, nothing works if the bowling ball on your shoulders isn’t working to keep all your bits and pieces functioning in top form.

I still take fish oil for Omega-3′s, but I’ve started incorporating this drink into my morning regimen.  When I first go into the kitchen, I start this and let it sit while I’m making breakfast and yelling at the child to get up and get ready for school.

While there is a debate whether the fish oil source of Omega-3′s is better than the plant-source, chia seeds are a great vegan option for getting your essential Omega-3′s.

The recipe below is based on a drink I saw online on Dr Oz’s website, but I like mine better.

The almond milk is simply the carrier of the chia seeds.  Also, almond milk is non-dairy, which makes it groovy for vegans.  At only 40 calories per cup, almond milk doesn’t have the calories, fat, or sugar content of milk.  This unsweetened “original” formula, Almond Breeze, by Blue Diamond has the fewest number of additive ingredients than others on the market.  Of course, you can make your own almond milk, but I haven’t gone that far… yet…

These are actual Chia Seeds — if you remember the TV commercials for the tiny green ground-cover plant on clay figurines with the voice-over singers chanting, “Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia!” … yes… those chia seeds.

Chia Seeds are the best kept secret in the Omega-3 world, as far as I’m concerned.  While flaxseed is more famous, chia seeds have more Omega-3′s than flax, in a better ratio to the unfavorable Omega-6, and taste much better than flaxseed, to me.  Unlike flaxseeds which cannot be digested whole by the body, chia seeds can be eaten whole.  Two tablespoons of whole chia seeds provides 2,500 mg Omega-3, 6g dietary fiber, and 2g protein.

I use powdered stevia to sweeten the drink because I don’t want to use sugar.  Stevia is an herb, and teaspoon to teaspoon, stevia is 600 times sweeter than sugar.  The vanilla is to help the overall flavor of the drink, especially if you’re using the chia seed meal (pre-ground chia seeds) as I am right now — I grabbed the wrong bag at the health store, not realizing the ground seeds were right next to the whole chia seeds.  (Grrrrrrrrrr….)

Almond Milk & Chia Seed Vegan Drink for Omega-3′s

1 Cup almond milk

2 Tablespoons chia seeds (2.5 Tablespoons if using ground chia seeds)

1/4 teaspoon real vanilla extract

1 to 2 stevia packets, optional

2 Tablespoons freshly puréed fruit, optional

In a small glass, stir almond milk and chia seeds together and allow to sit on the counter for 15 minutes, or until the milk becomes slightly thickened by the chia seeds.  Add the vanilla and the stevia packet(s) if you want to sweeten it.  You can also add any freshly puréed fruit, such as strawberries or oranges, etc.  Stir and drink.

Enjoy!

trish

Recommended Products (yes, this is what I actually use!):


AskTrish: Man Confused As to Why I Love the Penis So Much


TeamUncut ForeskinFriday - Uncircumcised Man - Ginger - Gold Baroque FameDear Trish,

I cannot understand the appeal of what makes a man’s cock gorgeous in your eyes since I am not a woman nor gay. I am still trying to figure out why men and some women, are so hard wired to love breasts, large or not. The mind is an interesting organ.

Anonymous

Ohio

Dear Anonymous,

Cock?  No.  Penis, lingam?  Yes!  The penis is absolutely divine.  Lingam puja is a specialty of mine… or it was — back when I was sexually active…

There is just no describing that feeling of being full — being filled by a penis, stretched by the width, rubbed by the corona on the anterior wall (where the female prostate lives!!) — it’s just too amazing to put into words… or seeing how the penis changes under different touch, whether by fingers, lips, tongue, sliding my labia up and down the shaft, massaging the muscles of the shaft, following the raphe seam with my tongue, sucking the balls, seeing the pre-cum glistening as it oozes out, tonguing the swollen meatus that looks like tiny labia, dipping my tongue into the urethral opening… hearing a man moan because of it… the taste of sweet ejaculate… yum…

The penis is just an awesome toy to play with.  I really miss that…

Breasts are a whole other story… And especially for women, the mind is the most important sex organ.

trish

Related Articles:

Links:


Sample Consult: Man Has Trouble Keeping Erection and Can’t Climax During Sex


male-nude-standing-behindEver wondered what a consult with me sounds like?  Is it formal… or scary?  (I don’t think so!)

Here’s a consult I did tonight over Twitter — yes, Twitter.  See!  Consults are conveniently arranged via phone, Skype, or even Twitter.  Sure, you can ask me a question for an AskTrish post, but it can take a while (read: months) to get an answer posted due to the number of questions I receive.  To schedule a consult — especially if your question is time-sensitive, just contact me via the Consult page on my website.

NOTE:  I know this client, so some info on his background, health, etc., were not covered in this Consult.  In this Transcript, Twitter typos have been fixed. Permission to use was granted by the client, who is represented by Q (Querier).

Q:  I have had sex with 2 women in the past 3 months. I have had problems before but moved past it.  The first few times I sleep with a woman, I can’t climax, and I have a hard time staying erect.  I can’t focus, and all I think about is if she is enjoying it and I just totally suck.  LOL

T:  You’re putting too much pressure on yourself!

Q:  It has been that way since I first had sex.

T:  There are tell-tale signs a woman is enjoying sex that you can look for.  Read my post on “The Face of Orgasm.”

Q:  I feel that way and think about her because I have a hard time staying hard.  It just stays semi and like floppy, it’s bigger so it’s harder to control when not hard.

T:  You need to read my blog more often.  Seriously.  Orgasm is NOT the same as ejaculation.  You can orgasm for hours and never even get an erection.  Read my rant on “Have Multiple Orgasms Already!”

A “floppy” penis is actually normal for a larger penis.  Even getting hard, a larger penis may not stand at full attention and has nothing to do with your arousal level.  If you’re getting anxious, that triggers adrenaline, which affects the brain, breathing, and triggers the fight-or-flight reflex, as well as releases stress hormones like cortisol.

Q:  Yeah, that’s how I feel, I’m nervous the first few times.  I don’t enjoy sex and can’t come close to climax.  After the first 3 or 4 times, I’m good.

T:  What changes by the 3rd or 4th time that you can actually enjoy sex?

Q:  I think I finally get comfortable, get used to her feel, her movements, I guess.

T:  How does she react those first few times?  Does she say or do something that makes you feel less “manly” or just inadequate?  Or does she go out of her way (or maybe overboard) to boost your ego?

Q:  I have never asked.  Some women don’t come back.  Those that stick around like it.  I just feel embarrassed, and it gets worse each time.

T:  Are you drinking alcohol?  On any meds, legal or otherwise?

Q:  There have been times when this has happened that I had been drinking and it happened.  Most times, sober.

T:  Alcohol is a social norm, but terrible for sexual response!  But even sober, you’ve had enough bad experience with this that you’re talking yourself into being anxious even if you’re not realizing it.  Sex with a person the first time is always a little nerve-wracking.  And if a woman doesn’t understand that, she’s not for you anyway.

Have you told the women up front that you’re nervous?  That you focus on the woman so much you sometimes don’t climax, and that’s okay with you?  As in, you are focused on HER, and not yourself.  That you just want to be with her?

Q:  I never have said anything.

T:  Ah… Communication is paramount.  This is why one-night stands and at-the-bar hook-ups can be difficult for some people.  They don’t feel comfortable talking about such things.  You have to talk to the woman.

I also think you should begin some yoga or meditation exercise that helps you with stress and anxiety.  You don’t need alcohol or meds to help with this, IMHO.  Learn to control your breathing, which actually affects your brain, hormone response, and nervousness.

Q:  How do I go about starting the anxiety control?

T:  Contact a yoga or meditation teacher in your area.  You want to find someone who is experienced in yoga (hatha, ashtanga, tantra, kundalini) — some tradition that is REAL yoga, not New Age… especially if you seek a Tantra teacher — you need a REAL Tantra teacher, not a New Age one.  The purpose of the breathing meditations is so you get into your body to control the reactions you’re having to stress…

Q:  I see, I never thought of that.  I will do that!  So how do I go about being intimate the first time?

T:  Dude, you’re jumping ahead here!  You’re not ready to have sex yet.

Q:  LOL  I see that!

T:  Of course, I teach this as well. :-) But you need a teacher that you can learn from w/o having sexual attraction to — like a man… (Not that you’re attracted to me, that’s not what I’m saying! Just that a male teacher might be better for you.)

Q:  Like shadow a man you mean?

T:  Learning from a male teacher will have a different energy than if you’re studying with a female (since you’re straight, the opposite would be true if you were a gay man).  Since you’re doing this with the idea of great sex being the benefit, learning from a woman might trigger some of that stress.

Q:  So what would I learn from him?

T:  For starters, a man who’s mastered breathing and stress control would be better able to teach you how to control a penis, from the man’s perspective.

Q:  Wouldn’t triggering the stress help me learn to deal with it?

T:  No.

Q:  Well, can you help me.  Even from a distance, I imagine you can.

T:  If you want the male teacher, I can recommend one.  And you could tell him about the sexual side of things, whereas you might feel weird talking about this with the average yoga teacher you don’t know, or talking about this with a man you’re afraid will mock you.  Finding a teacher you feel completely safe with is crucial.

Q:  There is a reason I came to you with this problem!!  Okay, you are the master.  Thank you.

T:  You’re welcome. :-)

###

trish

Links:


Health, Fitness, & Nutrition: New Articles’ Series From ArousedWoman!


Coregasm: Orgasm While Doing Abs/Core ExercisesNow that we’re moving into 2013, I want to start a few new series for my ArousedWoman readers that focus on Health, Fitness,  and Nutrition, respectively.

These will be separate categories but they certainly intertwine in their importance.  Overall health is required for vibrant sexual response — even if you’re not with a partner.  You cannot be truly healthy if you exercise a lot but then eat junk food on a regular basis.  Likewise, eating a healthy diet but not allowing your body to utilize its full range of motion can adversely affect the muscles, tendons, ligaments, even your bone density and skeletal frame.

There is energy transference from the food you eat; and if you ingest unhealthy, “dead” energy, you are unhealthy, “dead” energy.  The body can mask the mounting long-term effects of eating the Standard American Diet (SAD) until it seems too late.  However, no matter how old you are or how long you’ve been out of shape, it’s never too late to revamp your approach to your health.  After all, erections and orgasms require happy muscles and healthy blood vessels!

Your approach to balancing your overall health should include stress-reducing practices such as moderate exercise and meditation(!!!).  No New Age woo-woo stuff here, people.  Science is finally catching up to what yogis have known for millennia.  Meditation is very good for you!  Not only is meditation great for your mind, but it is also beneficial for your body by increasing oxygen intake, lowering blood pressure, and controlling stress hormones.

On the short list for topics, I will be discussing diet choices for aphrodisiac nutrition, primal/paleo vs. vegetarian/vegan, vitamins and minerals supplements, as well as fitness tips for functional strength/resistance training, flexibility, and range of motion, and other lifestyle choices that will keep your body in optimal orgasmic health.  This summer, I hope to begin a video series on all this as well.

You only have one meat-suit, people.  Take care of it while you’re using it this lifetime. :-)

trish

Recommended Products:


Review: Adam’s PleasureSkin Cock Sex Toy by Adam & Eve


man-penis-standing-at-attention-300After searching high and low for a new penis-shaped dildo, I had almost given up when I came across this guy on Amazon.  For some reason, it has become very difficult to find a dildo that is exactly what I like — guess I’ll have to start making sex toys now.

I like good width, easy maintenance, and no vibration.  Sounds easy.  It isn’t.

The selling points listed for Adam’s PleasureSkin Cock are that it is very wide and feels like real skin.  It boasts a width of 2″ (inches) across and 6.5″ insertable length, with realistic veining on the shaft and balls.  It also features a suction cup for riding or use on the shower wall (or fridge door… bookcase… dining table leg…).

I perused several different dildos that were similar width and length and no vibration.  In my current collection, I have a glass toy for prostate stim, my purple hard-silicone friend Sparkles, and another wide toy that is so heavy I can’t use it… so I’ll donate it to the local Catholic mission.

For my latest toy, I wanted a toy that was realistic in form and feel.  I wanted him to be around 2″ wide, and most importantly, I wanted a toy that wasn’t too heavy — my wrist gets tired lugging a heavy toy around.

I read the reviews on Amazon:

  • “This thing is HUGE.”
  • “…amazing details… so realistic…”
  • “…it was HEAVY… I have NEVER seen such a big penis.”
  • “…it took a WHILE to get half way down, and it was DELICIOUS!”
  • “It didn’t flop over it stood proudly… It is firm, and handles like a ‘real’ penis.”
  • “It felt like I was having sex with another human. So realistic.”
  • “…my orgasms are just as good if not better than the ones I get from my vibrator.”

The reviews were overwhelmingly positive, and even the naysayers were complaining about the very thing I was looking for in a toy (“too huge”).  The two negative aspects they repeated were the chemical smell and the fact that this toy is not for the inexperienced.  After reading all the reviews on Amazon, I decided to get the PleasureSkin Cock which comes in the delightful shade of Cinnamon.

I’m a member of Amazon Prime so the parcel arrived in two days.  As I lifted it out of its discreet packaging, I was amazed at how life-like it looked.  It must have been molded off an actual penis because the asymmetry was perfect (if this had been made by a human, the artist would have tried to make everything symmetrical).  This toy is based on an uncut penis (which I did not know at the time of purchase but was a pleasant surprise), but neither the frenular delta nor the ridged band are overly pronounced (darn it).

The veining is awesome, and the testicles are in the up-and-tense position and include a particular favorite of mine — the testicular raphe.  The head is conical, not bulbous, which I usually prefer, and I would have preferred the head to be bigger (or so I thought).  I’d also prefer the corona to be more pronounced with a deeper sulcus, but I liked what I saw.  My biggest fear came true — this thing is heavy, but with the suction cup option, I assumed I’d use it more passively than “hands on” (or so I thought).  I’ve yet to ride on top of this guy, but that is on my to-do list very soon!

Feeling the “PleasureSkin,” I have to say that it did not feel like real skin to me, and yes, there is a chemical smell.  My opinion of the PleasureSkin changed as I was using it because once it is lubed up, it feels amazingly realistic to the touch.  The texture of this PleasureSkin toy is firm in the center but “gives” under touch the way real penises and flesh do.  Holding the shaft in my hand and feeling how it gave slightly under the pressure has cured me of ever getting a hard silicone or plastic toy ever again.  Just feeling him in my hand feels so good and lifelike, and yes, he really does stand at attention — no flopping over at all!

Cleaning the toy is easy with mild soap and warm water, and the smell is only noticeable if you hold it directly to your nose.  There is no offensive odor wafting in the air during use.  To avoid getting furries and lint on him, I keep this toy in plastic rather than velvet — though I do wash him (and all my toys) before and after every use.

Overall, I cannot recommend this “PleasureSkin Cock” enough!!!  If you are experienced with sex toys, like ‘em wide, and have a strong grip, absolutely nothing can beat Adam’s PleasureSkin Cock in Cinnamon.  For anal use, be sure to use a condom… and when I get brave enough to try this thing for anal penetration, y’all will be the first to know.

The only thing better than this toy is an actual man (who also does laundry and vacuums).  Seriously.  Get this guy!

Stay tuned for my upcoming DailyOJ wherein I describe in detail how my first (and second and third) meeting with the PleasureSkin Cock went…

Now… what should I name him?

trish

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AskTrish: Stop Ejaculating and Have Multiple Orgasms Already


Chakra-aura-orgasm-energy-systemA little something different from the usual AskTrish post

While posting pics on my ArousedWoman Tumblr page, I came across a post on another Tumblr page in which a querent (I’m assuming male) asked:  “when i masturbate and i hit orgasm once i cant have another one why not ? am i doing something wrong ?”  The moderator responded: “no, not everyone is capable of multiple orgasms, that’s just the way it is…”

That is absolutely NOT TRUE — not even for men!

Ejaculating is a reflex, but it is a controllable reflex of the sympathetic nervous system.  Semen is ejected due to contractions by the bulbospongiosus muscle.  On a subtle body/spirit level, ejaculate is comprised of life force energy, and it takes an inordinate about of physical energy to produce and expel ejaculate from the body — hence the reason a guy is usually exhausted and needs a nap afterward.  Ejac expends energy, causing fatigue for the man.

In women, stimulating the clit, which is synonymous to the penis, gives a localized burst of tension release at the clitoris, but any kind of vaginal orgasm (prostate/She Spot, cervical/uterine, AFE, PFE, even perineal sponge) creates full-body waves of bliss that flow and flow and flow, like waves that repeatedly crash against a shore.  The clitoris is wired to the spinal cord via the pudendal nerve, but the vagina’s main nerve is the vagus nerve which bypasses the spinal cord and plugs directly into the brain.

Knowing how the body works physiologically helps in integrating the subtle energy body with the physical body, which leads to orgasms that literally blow your mind and everything you thought you knew about your body or orgasm.  Conjuring orgasm via an energy-based practice with the help of a little anatomy know-how creates orgasm experiences that feel like Big Bang explosions in your core and your head — not localized to just the genitals.

Orgasm is a response of the parasympathetic  nervous system.  Orgasm increases energy.  Many people use climaxing for muscle tension release before bed so they can get sleepy.  However, orgasm in an energy practice gives and expands energy.  From the Greek word, orgasmos, orgasm literally means “to swell.”  Orgasm is NOT the end of a sexual experience but one amazing part of the journey.  The end isn’t even “climax” but bliss, altered states of consciousness (no drugs needed!), awareness, and connection to self, your partner (if applicable), and the Universe.

ALL woman AND men are capable of multiple orgasms — FOR HOURS, days, weeks!  Live your whole life in an orgasmic state of energy bliss… Why not?!

People need to STOP the myths and lies about what is possible in orgasm.  ‘Cause I guaran-damn-tee MOST people have never experienced even an inkling of what orgasm can be.  They grew up jerking off to skin mags and probably learned most of what they know about sex from watching the fakery of porn and memorizing the stupidity of magazine sex quizzes while standing in line at the store.

They should stop giving advice and read my fucking blog already!

trish

* To AskTrish a question, submit your question here. *

* Read more AskTrish posts. *


OpEd: The Face of Orgasm: Is Your Woman Faking Orgasms or Not?


Copyright 2012 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
It’s been said that every woman fakes orgasms at some point.  Well, I’m here to tell you I never did.  Never.  I never had an orgasm during partnered sex, and I sure wasn’t going to fake it.  I made sure the guy knew I wasn’t seeing god, or cosmic rainbows, or magickal unicorns just because his penis was inside me.  He could deal with his ego later.

Recently, I read a particular, highly recommended book on cunnilingus but had a difficult time finishing it.  The anatomic information was mostly good, but the male  writer’s anecdotes about female  orgasm were peppered with sexist, rude, even misogynist remarks I simply could not overlook.  Having admitted that he was bad at sex and suffered with erectile issues, the author made the egregious comment that screamers and women who throw their heads back are “obvious” orgasm fakers.

I wanted to throw the book across the room, but unfortunately, I was at a restaurant.  (Yes, I read sex books while eating…  lunch.)

Women are complex creatures and are, thusly, capable of complex, varied types of orgasms.  It only makes sense that the body and the face would have different corresponding reactions.  Yes, I said body.  Were you only watching her face?

For a traditional clitoral orgasm, the orgasm is localized to the clit/genital area.  The woman’s torso will most likely crunch forward.  The hips/pelvis will tuck or raise up off the bed.  Her face will similarly be “crunched” into a look she wouldn’t really want to make otherwise: furrowed brow, gritting the teeth, even jutting the jaw forward.  (I could go into my theory on why this is but I would have to bore you with vocal science and the pedagogy of phonation.)

A vaginal/She Spot orgasm tends to be a full-body wave type of orgasm that washes over the body but lacks the explosion of the clitoral orgasm.  The woman’s mouth will be open, the jaw down and back, and she may moan differently because of it.  Her head may tilt backward, and she may even arch her back.  Please note the vagina has numerous spots capable of various kinds of pleasure and responses.

A blended orgasm that stems from both clitoral and vaginal/She Spot simulation is one of the most sought after orgasms because of its full-body wave effect coupled with the clit explosion.  This orgasm can induce both crunching forward and wild hip motions, plus arching backward, head back, and delicious moaning.

Other types of orgasms include nipple O’s, cervical O’s, orgasms of the P-spot, the K-spot, the perineal sponge, urethral/urination orgasms, anal O’s, and anywhere else on the body that she is super sensitive to touch.

Of all the physically-based orgasms, the most intense, for me, personally, is the uterine orgasm.  The uterine orgasm is brought on by stimulation of the cervix and A-Spot, coincidentally stimulating the prostate/She Spot at the same time.  This results in a compulsory doubling over and emotional outburst — a true gut-wrenching thrashing usually accompanied by uncontrollable crying.  Not pretty crying either.  So the face of this orgasm is kind of like a nervous breakdown — a bit unnerving for onlookers but soul-shatteringly amazing to experience.

These signs are for physically-based orgasms that most people can do without much effort.  Use plenty of lube, work the spots, communicate — not very difficult.  However, energy-based orgasms cause the body to twist and contort in ways unimaginable.

Kundalini orgasms are known for inducing a sharp, sudden, involuntary  arching of the back, in both women and men.  While some men consider arching the back to be a “woman’s” type of orgasm, I like to think of this phenomenon as a “human being’s” orgasmic response.  For Kundalini orgasms, the mouth may be wide open, deep moans being heard, while the head is bent so far back, you might think the woman is going into a gymnast’s backbend.  All of this is involuntary.  (And pretty frickin’ incredible!)

So what is the face of a woman who is having real orgasms?   Not something she’d want posted in the church’s Sunday bulletin, that’s for sure.  If the woman can, in any way, be considered to look “pretty,” she’s not having a real orgasm.

If she is crunching forward and her face looks as if she is somewhere between “really pissed off” and “warrior queen about to rip your limbs from your body,” then she’s probably having a real orgasm.  If her head is back, her mouth open, and her brow slightly to fully furrowed, that’s a great sign of a real orgasm as well.  When her arms fly up over her head, don’t be offended!  This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to hold on to you.  Especially if her hands wind up behind her head, this is a great  sign of a deep, powerful orgasm.  (If you’ve read my DailyOJ, you know I can vouch for this effect.)

Her eyes may be open during clitoral orgasms, but for most other types of orgasms, her eyes will probably be closed.  For myself, I’ve noticed my eyes shoot open at the onset of blended orgasms but then immediately close again through the rest of the climax/multiple orgasms.  For Kundalini orgasms, my eyes are closed, head is all the way back, hands fly up over my head, and my body rocks-and-rolls side to side while my knees come up, then my legs kick out over and over again.  (Just sayin’.)

Other indicators of real orgasm are legs shaking and toes/feet curling inward, energy zings down the legs, rapid breathing, and even female ejaculation.

You decide:  Which one is faking and which one is real?

Along with the facial contortions or the gaping jaw and arching back, her skin will become flush due to increased blood flow, her nipples may be so perky they’re reaching for the ceiling, and her hips (hell, most of her body) will be moving involuntarily.  For energy orgasms, she will probably be rockin’-and-rollin’ side to side with extra contractions and rolling through her abdominals, not just crunching forward or arching backward as during physical orgasms.

If she can speak in complete sentences, or is constantly reassuring your ego, she might be faking for your benefit.  If her words are incoherent and grabbing at you is her only primal form of communication, then you might be on the right track — to helping her orgasm.

More importantly, don’t be so visual.  This isn’t porn.  This is a real, live woman.  You need to feel  her reactions.  When a woman is close to orgasm, especially if any clitoral stimulation has been done, the clitoral bulbs that form a “horseshoe” over and around the vaginal opening expand with blood flow, just as the penis expands with blood flow during arousal.  This feels like a vice-grip clamping down on your penis.

(Side note:  My asshole ex-husband used to tell me he didn’t like the vice-grip feeling because it made him start to lose his erection… so that’s probably why I never orgasmed with him.)

Remember, guys.  You cannot “make” a woman orgasm.  Orgasm begins and ends in the woman’s mind — not just her brain.  Stimulate her mind first and the body will follow suit.  In fact, the face and body will tell you everything if your sexual relationship is rooted in honest communication.

What does your face look like in orgasm?  Send me a picture, and I just might post it!

trish


Comments 08-19-12: “Another Amazing Orgasm” Thanks to ‘ArousedWoman’ Blog


With all the hullabaloo over stupid men being … well… stupid… (*see this post and this post… and well, maybe this post, too*).  I am thankfully reminded that not all penised persons are cads and misogynists.

After a long day battling for vagina rights on the Twitterwebz, an ArousedWoman reader sent me a lovely comment about his own orgasmic awakening thanks to reading some of my posts — my “Allowing and Receiving” post, specifically.

I’m not taking credit for his orgasm success (okay, well, I’d love to!), but really it’s about him shedding some of the patriarchal bullshit and cultural stereotypes of sex and orgasm.  Divesting himself of aiming for a pre-determined goal has opened up his body and his mind to new realizations in arousal and the orgasmic response(s).

Okay, so I’m totally interjecting my perspective on his experience, but here is what he first wrote in about experiencing a soulgasm(!!!), and below is what he said today.

I love ending the night on a good note.

trish


DailyOJ 05-21-12: The Clit Also Rises


I woke up feeling energized. Not energized like I wanted to jump out of bed and bike 10 miles (like I would ever feel like that! :) ), but I did have to get up to meet the school bus.

However, I laid in bed and felt my genital/pelvic bowl area from the inside — mentally feeling the area, like a genital meditation. I felt heat and throbbing, but more of it — more expansive. And I felt fullness. I didn’t feel “empty” vaginally.

I couldn’t resist feeling with my hand what was going on down there, and I was amazed.  Combining the stimulation technique of OM with my previous energy work of KSMO, Tantra, and Kundalini has turned out to be the best orgasm combo ever.

Aside from being fully wet (thanks extra water and fish oil!), my clit was fully aroused like I’ve never experienced before. The clitoris, so very similar to the male penis, has a length of several inches inside the female, with extending parts, nerve endings, and vascular system. When unaroused, the clitoral head and the first part of the shaft hang down. But when aroused, the clit is erect.

I’ve never felt my clit so erect — ever, especially with no stimulation. Usually, once stimulated to this point and near orgasm, the clitoral head actually sinks back into the body — another sign of impending orgasm — when the clit is practically flush to the pubic bone. When erect, I can feel the shaft of my clit between my fingers — but just barely there. This morning, however, she was firmer than I’d ever felt her — higher, too. A true erection (though she couldn’t have been more than a 1/4″ high, if that). She felt… huge… and growing… I had the fleeting thought, “Is this what it’s like to have an erection?!” But she felt amazing — inside and out.

But with alarms going off for the impending hectic morning craziness, I couldn’t pursue anything… Instead, I spent the day writing yet another breast article.

That night, I felt that energy again, the humming/buzzing energy throughout my body. I had several full-body O’s via the lightest nipple stimulation — barely touching my breasts with my fingertips. Weird, but cool. With tomorrow being the last day of school, I decided to let it be… for now… I would have time to explore these awakenings later.

Aroused and erect,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


Sex with Uncircumcised Men


With the issue of anti-circumcision rearing its “head,” I thought I’d petition comments from readers who would like to discuss the topic of uncut sex — sex with men who are not circumcised.

What does it feel like? Is slow sex better? Is deep penetration or shallow better? What are the pros and cons, the experiences from the man’s perspective? From his partner’s?

Mainly, I want to create an opportunity for mothers- and fathers-to-be to get a glimpse of why they should allow their sons to be left intact. Circumcision is permanent body modification, and this choice belongs to the male whose body would be affected. His parents are the stewards for his basic human right to be left whole.

There are rules for participating in the discussion!

Commenters can be:

  • Men who are UNcircumcised — I would especially love to hear from you guys!
  • Women/men who have been with men who are UNcircumcised — Please share your stories!
  • Circumcised men or their partners who have questions or comments regarding circumcision.
  • Readers who are supportive of the anti-circumcision movement and even potential legislation to ban circumcision.

Comments should be:

  • Respectful, NOT snarky toward men with circumcised penises — after all their right to choose what was done to their body was violated. It’s not THEIR fault they are cut.
  • From readers who have specific questions or info about the UNcircumcised penis, including hygiene, personal feelings/experiences, bullying, sexual info during arousal, penetration, orgasm, and after sex; oral, hand play, and anal sex; any info regarding the foreskin, lubrication, erections, ejaculation, sensations, etc.

Keep the conversation clean and respectful. And yes, every comment has to be approved by me first, so don’t waste my time being pro-circ, rude, snarky, or a jerk (or jerkette).

Check back often to read what others write, or sign up for the RSS Comments feed (on the right-hand side –>).

Now, chat away!

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 11-18-11: Sex Fluids Info Requested


November 18, 2011

(* In response to another question about fluids during sex.* )

You might watch your water intake so the bladder isn’t really filling up so quickly.  But remember the female prostate is linked to the urethra — the prostate drains into the urethra as well as secretes fluids into the vagina.  So it may actually be the lubricant/ejaculate plasma not urine, even though you have that urge to urinate and do release fluid after your orgasms.  And even if it is urine, so WHAT?!  Enjoy! :)

But the thoughts I had this morning, is that do men have such trouble with a full bladder and an erection?  One former partner wouldn’t do morning sex without first a trip to the bathroom, which I totally understood — except he would spend more time in the bathroom trying to “talk down” his morning erection just to urinate, and then focus to get the erection again.  I think the fear men have is urinating instead of or just after ejaculating.  While I understand the “ewwww!” factor, the vagina is decidedly acidic with a pH of 3.8 to 4.5, and urine is sterile anyway, so it’s not like it would actually harm anything if urine came out… another reason for keeping towels handy.

In ancient cultures, all these fluids were viewed as sacred. So whatever the body does during arousal and orgasm is cool with me… as long as I don’t look fat doing it. :-)

P.S. I’m looking up the Arvigo abdominal massage… sounds awesome and oh, so, timely for our world of couch potatoes and sitting-at-the-computer addicts (like me!).

Tonight: KSMO 20-minute practice session… may try not touching the clit… or do She-spot massage :) … AND tomorrow, I’m going to my first active participation with my new Kelly Howell Kundalini CD.  I’ll post my results, to see if I feel that serpent energy slithering up my spine. :) … would be delish if my prostate can hold that arousal it’s been dishing up lately and have some chi raising up into my chest/breast area… hmmmmm…

Aroused and journaling,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


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