Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
Omega-3 is an essential fatty acid that your body must have but cannot produce on its own, so we have to get it from our food. Omega-3′s are required by the brain for proper cognitive function, and recent research is starting to link Omega-3 deficiency and Alzheimer’s. Omega-3′s are also shown to lower blood pressure in hypertensive patients and decrease internal inflammation that affects joints and organs. Plus, Omega-3′s help with arthritis, depression, and mood swings.
What does that mean for orgasms? Proper blood circulation is required for erections (in men and women), and of course, nothing works if the bowling ball on your shoulders isn’t working to keep all your bits and pieces functioning in top form.
I still take fish oil for Omega-3′s, but I’ve started incorporating this drink into my morning regimen. When I first go into the kitchen, I start this and let it sit while I’m making breakfast and yelling at the child to get up and get ready for school.
While there is a debate whether the fish oil source of Omega-3′s is better than the plant-source, chia seeds are a great vegan option for getting your essential Omega-3′s.
The recipe below is based on a drink I saw online on Dr Oz’s website, but I like mine better.
The almond milk is simply the carrier of the chia seeds. Also, almond milk is non-dairy, which makes it groovy for vegans. At only 40 calories per cup, almond milk doesn’t have the calories, fat, or sugar content of milk. This unsweetened “original” formula, Almond Breeze, by Blue Diamond has the fewest number of additive ingredients than others on the market. Of course, you can make your own almond milk, but I haven’t gone that far… yet…
These are actual Chia Seeds — if you remember the TV commercials for the tiny green ground-cover plant on clay figurines with the voice-over singers chanting, “Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia!” … yes… those chia seeds.
Chia Seeds are the best kept secret in the Omega-3 world, as far as I’m concerned. While flaxseed is more famous, chia seeds have more Omega-3′s than flax, in a better ratio to the unfavorable Omega-6, and taste much better than flaxseed, to me. Unlike flaxseeds which cannot be digested whole by the body, chia seeds can be eaten whole. Two tablespoons of whole chia seeds provides 2,500 mg Omega-3, 6g dietary fiber, and 2g protein.
I use powdered stevia to sweeten the drink because I don’t want to use sugar. Stevia is an herb, and teaspoon to teaspoon, stevia is 600 times sweeter than sugar. The vanilla is to help the overall flavor of the drink, especially if you’re using the chia seed meal (pre-ground chia seeds) as I am right now — I grabbed the wrong bag at the health store, not realizing the ground seeds were right next to the whole chia seeds. (Grrrrrrrrrr….)
Almond Milk & Chia Seed Vegan Drink for Omega-3′s
1 Cup almond milk
2 Tablespoons chia seeds (2.5 Tablespoons if using ground chia seeds)
1/4 teaspoon real vanilla extract
1 to 2 stevia packets, optional
2 Tablespoons freshly puréed fruit, optional
In a small glass, stir almond milk and chia seeds together and allow to sit on the counter for 15 minutes, or until the milk becomes slightly thickened by the chia seeds. Add the vanilla and the stevia packet(s) if you want to sweeten it. You can also add any freshly puréed fruit, such as strawberries or oranges, etc. Stir and drink.
I cannot understand the appeal of what makes a man’s cock gorgeous in your eyes since I am not a woman nor gay. I am still trying to figure out why men and some women, are so hard wired to love breasts, large or not. The mind is an interesting organ.
Cock? No. Penis, lingam? Yes! The penis is absolutely divine. Lingam puja is a specialty of mine… or it was — back when I was sexually active…
There is just no describing that feeling of being full — being filled by a penis, stretched by the width, rubbed by the corona on the anterior wall (where the female prostate lives!!) — it’s just too amazing to put into words… or seeing how the penis changes under different touch, whether by fingers, lips, tongue, sliding my labia up and down the shaft, massaging the muscles of the shaft, following the raphe seam with my tongue, sucking the balls, seeing the pre-cum glistening as it oozes out, tonguing the swollen meatus that looks like tiny labia, dipping my tongue into the urethral opening… hearing a man moan because of it… the taste of sweet ejaculate… yum…
The penis is just an awesome toy to play with. I really miss that…
Breasts are a whole other story… And especially for women, the mind is the most important sex organ.
- Anatomy: Penis Size: Measuring Up to Your Woman’s Sex Toy
- Anatomy: #TeamUncut Intact Natural Penis Collage for #ForeskinFriday (21+ NSFW)
- Review: Adam’s PleasureSkin Cock Sex Toy by Adam & Eve
- Anatomy: Male Prostate ~ the Male G-Spot
- AskTrish: Stop Ejaculating and Have Multiple Orgasms Already
Here’s a consult I did tonight over Twitter — yes, Twitter. See! Consults are conveniently arranged via phone, Skype, or even Twitter. Sure, you can ask me a question for an AskTrish post, but it can take a while (read: months) to get an answer posted due to the number of questions I receive. To schedule a consult — especially if your question is time-sensitive, just contact me via the Consult page on my website.
NOTE: I know this client, so some info on his background, health, etc., were not covered in this Consult. In this Transcript, Twitter typos have been fixed. Permission to use was granted by the client, who is represented by Q (Querier).
Q: I have had sex with 2 women in the past 3 months. I have had problems before but moved past it. The first few times I sleep with a woman, I can’t climax, and I have a hard time staying erect. I can’t focus, and all I think about is if she is enjoying it and I just totally suck. LOL
T: You’re putting too much pressure on yourself!
Q: It has been that way since I first had sex.
T: There are tell-tale signs a woman is enjoying sex that you can look for. Read my post on “The Face of Orgasm.”
Q: I feel that way and think about her because I have a hard time staying hard. It just stays semi and like floppy, it’s bigger so it’s harder to control when not hard.
T: You need to read my blog more often. Seriously. Orgasm is NOT the same as ejaculation. You can orgasm for hours and never even get an erection. Read my rant on “Have Multiple Orgasms Already!”
A “floppy” penis is actually normal for a larger penis. Even getting hard, a larger penis may not stand at full attention and has nothing to do with your arousal level. If you’re getting anxious, that triggers adrenaline, which affects the brain, breathing, and triggers the fight-or-flight reflex, as well as releases stress hormones like cortisol.
Q: Yeah, that’s how I feel, I’m nervous the first few times. I don’t enjoy sex and can’t come close to climax. After the first 3 or 4 times, I’m good.
T: What changes by the 3rd or 4th time that you can actually enjoy sex?
Q: I think I finally get comfortable, get used to her feel, her movements, I guess.
T: How does she react those first few times? Does she say or do something that makes you feel less “manly” or just inadequate? Or does she go out of her way (or maybe overboard) to boost your ego?
Q: I have never asked. Some women don’t come back. Those that stick around like it. I just feel embarrassed, and it gets worse each time.
T: Are you drinking alcohol? On any meds, legal or otherwise?
Q: There have been times when this has happened that I had been drinking and it happened. Most times, sober.
T: Alcohol is a social norm, but terrible for sexual response! But even sober, you’ve had enough bad experience with this that you’re talking yourself into being anxious even if you’re not realizing it. Sex with a person the first time is always a little nerve-wracking. And if a woman doesn’t understand that, she’s not for you anyway.
Have you told the women up front that you’re nervous? That you focus on the woman so much you sometimes don’t climax, and that’s okay with you? As in, you are focused on HER, and not yourself. That you just want to be with her?
Q: I never have said anything.
T: Ah… Communication is paramount. This is why one-night stands and at-the-bar hook-ups can be difficult for some people. They don’t feel comfortable talking about such things. You have to talk to the woman.
I also think you should begin some yoga or meditation exercise that helps you with stress and anxiety. You don’t need alcohol or meds to help with this, IMHO. Learn to control your breathing, which actually affects your brain, hormone response, and nervousness.
Q: How do I go about starting the anxiety control?
T: Contact a yoga or meditation teacher in your area. You want to find someone who is experienced in yoga (hatha, ashtanga, tantra, kundalini) — some tradition that is REAL yoga, not New Age… especially if you seek a Tantra teacher — you need a REAL Tantra teacher, not a New Age one. The purpose of the breathing meditations is so you get into your body to control the reactions you’re having to stress…
Q: I see, I never thought of that. I will do that! So how do I go about being intimate the first time?
T: Dude, you’re jumping ahead here! You’re not ready to have sex yet.
Q: LOL I see that!
T: Of course, I teach this as well. But you need a teacher that you can learn from w/o having sexual attraction to — like a man… (Not that you’re attracted to me, that’s not what I’m saying! Just that a male teacher might be better for you.)
Q: Like shadow a man you mean?
T: Learning from a male teacher will have a different energy than if you’re studying with a female (since you’re straight, the opposite would be true if you were a gay man). Since you’re doing this with the idea of great sex being the benefit, learning from a woman might trigger some of that stress.
Q: So what would I learn from him?
T: For starters, a man who’s mastered breathing and stress control would be better able to teach you how to control a penis, from the man’s perspective.
Q: Wouldn’t triggering the stress help me learn to deal with it?
Q: Well, can you help me. Even from a distance, I imagine you can.
T: If you want the male teacher, I can recommend one. And you could tell him about the sexual side of things, whereas you might feel weird talking about this with the average yoga teacher you don’t know, or talking about this with a man you’re afraid will mock you. Finding a teacher you feel completely safe with is crucial.
Q: There is a reason I came to you with this problem!! Okay, you are the master. Thank you.
T: You’re welcome.
These will be separate categories but they certainly intertwine in their importance. Overall health is required for vibrant sexual response — even if you’re not with a partner. You cannot be truly healthy if you exercise a lot but then eat junk food on a regular basis. Likewise, eating a healthy diet but not allowing your body to utilize its full range of motion can adversely affect the muscles, tendons, ligaments, even your bone density and skeletal frame.
There is energy transference from the food you eat; and if you ingest unhealthy, “dead” energy, you are unhealthy, “dead” energy. The body can mask the mounting long-term effects of eating the Standard American Diet (SAD) until it seems too late. However, no matter how old you are or how long you’ve been out of shape, it’s never too late to revamp your approach to your health. After all, erections and orgasms require happy muscles and healthy blood vessels!
Your approach to balancing your overall health should include stress-reducing practices such as moderate exercise and meditation(!!!). No New Age woo-woo stuff here, people. Science is finally catching up to what yogis have known for millennia. Meditation is very good for you! Not only is meditation great for your mind, but it is also beneficial for your body by increasing oxygen intake, lowering blood pressure, and controlling stress hormones.
On the short list for topics, I will be discussing diet choices for aphrodisiac nutrition, primal/paleo vs. vegetarian/vegan, vitamins and minerals supplements, as well as fitness tips for functional strength/resistance training, flexibility, and range of motion, and other lifestyle choices that will keep your body in optimal orgasmic health. This summer, I hope to begin a video series on all this as well.
You only have one meat-suit, people. Take care of it while you’re using it this lifetime.
After searching high and low for a new penis-shaped dildo, I had almost given up when I came across this guy on Amazon. For some reason, it has become very difficult to find a dildo that is exactly what I like — guess I’ll have to start making sex toys now.
I like good width, easy maintenance, and no vibration. Sounds easy. It isn’t.
The selling points listed for Adam’s PleasureSkin Cock are that it is very wide and feels like real skin. It boasts a width of 2″ (inches) across and 6.5″ insertable length, with realistic veining on the shaft and balls. It also features a suction cup for riding or use on the shower wall (or fridge door… bookcase… dining table leg…).
I perused several different dildos that were similar width and length and no vibration. In my current collection, I have a glass toy for prostate stim, my purple hard-silicone friend Sparkles, and another wide toy that is so heavy I can’t use it… so I’ll donate it to the local Catholic mission.
For my latest toy, I wanted a toy that was realistic in form and feel. I wanted him to be around 2″ wide, and most importantly, I wanted a toy that wasn’t too heavy — my wrist gets tired lugging a heavy toy around.
I read the reviews on Amazon:
- “This thing is HUGE.”
- “…amazing details… so realistic…”
- “…it was HEAVY… I have NEVER seen such a big penis.”
- “…it took a WHILE to get half way down, and it was DELICIOUS!”
- “It didn’t flop over it stood proudly… It is firm, and handles like a ‘real’ penis.”
- “It felt like I was having sex with another human. So realistic.”
- “…my orgasms are just as good if not better than the ones I get from my vibrator.”
The reviews were overwhelmingly positive, and even the naysayers were complaining about the very thing I was looking for in a toy (“too huge”). The two negative aspects they repeated were the chemical smell and the fact that this toy is not for the inexperienced. After reading all the reviews on Amazon, I decided to get the PleasureSkin Cock which comes in the delightful shade of Cinnamon.
I’m a member of Amazon Prime so the parcel arrived in two days. As I lifted it out of its discreet packaging, I was amazed at how life-like it looked. It must have been molded off an actual penis because the asymmetry was perfect (if this had been made by a human, the artist would have tried to make everything symmetrical). This toy is based on an uncut penis (which I did not know at the time of purchase but was a pleasant surprise), but neither the frenular delta nor the ridged band are overly pronounced (darn it).
The veining is awesome, and the testicles are in the up-and-tense position and include a particular favorite of mine — the testicular raphe. The head is conical, not bulbous, which I usually prefer, and I would have preferred the head to be bigger (or so I thought). I’d also prefer the corona to be more pronounced with a deeper sulcus, but I liked what I saw. My biggest fear came true — this thing is heavy, but with the suction cup option, I assumed I’d use it more passively than “hands on” (or so I thought). I’ve yet to ride on top of this guy, but that is on my to-do list very soon!
Feeling the “PleasureSkin,” I have to say that it did not feel like real skin to me, and yes, there is a chemical smell. My opinion of the PleasureSkin changed as I was using it because once it is lubed up, it feels amazingly realistic to the touch. The texture of this PleasureSkin toy is firm in the center but “gives” under touch the way real penises and flesh do. Holding the shaft in my hand and feeling how it gave slightly under the pressure has cured me of ever getting a hard silicone or plastic toy ever again. Just feeling him in my hand feels so good and lifelike, and yes, he really does stand at attention — no flopping over at all!
Cleaning the toy is easy with mild soap and warm water, and the smell is only noticeable if you hold it directly to your nose. There is no offensive odor wafting in the air during use. To avoid getting furries and lint on him, I keep this toy in plastic rather than velvet — though I do wash him (and all my toys) before and after every use.
Overall, I cannot recommend this “PleasureSkin Cock” enough!!! If you are experienced with sex toys, like ‘em wide, and have a strong grip, absolutely nothing can beat Adam’s PleasureSkin Cock in Cinnamon. For anal use, be sure to use a condom… and when I get brave enough to try this thing for anal penetration, y’all will be the first to know.
The only thing better than this toy is an actual man (who also does laundry and vacuums). Seriously. Get this guy!
Stay tuned for my upcoming DailyOJ wherein I describe in detail how my first (and second and third) meeting with the PleasureSkin Cock went…
Now… what should I name him?
Copyright 2012 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
It’s been said that every woman fakes orgasms at some point. Well, I’m here to tell you I never did. Never. I never had an orgasm during partnered sex, and I sure wasn’t going to fake it. I made sure the guy knew I wasn’t seeing god, or cosmic rainbows, or magickal unicorns just because his penis was inside me. He could deal with his ego later.
Recently, I read a particular, highly recommended book on cunnilingus but had a difficult time finishing it. The anatomic information was mostly good, but the male writer’s anecdotes about female orgasm were peppered with sexist, rude, even misogynist remarks I simply could not overlook. Having admitted that he was bad at sex and suffered with erectile issues, the author made the egregious comment that screamers and women who throw their heads back are “obvious” orgasm fakers.
I wanted to throw the book across the room, but unfortunately, I was at a restaurant. (Yes, I read sex books while eating… lunch.)
Women are complex creatures and are, thusly, capable of complex, varied types of orgasms. It only makes sense that the body and the face would have different corresponding reactions. Yes, I said body. Were you only watching her face?
For a traditional clitoral orgasm, the orgasm is localized to the clit/genital area. The woman’s torso will most likely crunch forward. The hips/pelvis will tuck or raise up off the bed. Her face will similarly be “crunched” into a look she wouldn’t really want to make otherwise: furrowed brow, gritting the teeth, even jutting the jaw forward. (I could go into my theory on why this is but I would have to bore you with vocal science and the pedagogy of phonation.)
A vaginal/She Spot orgasm tends to be a full-body wave type of orgasm that washes over the body but lacks the explosion of the clitoral orgasm. The woman’s mouth will be open, the jaw down and back, and she may moan differently because of it. Her head may tilt backward, and she may even arch her back. Please note the vagina has numerous spots capable of various kinds of pleasure and responses.
A blended orgasm that stems from both clitoral and vaginal/She Spot simulation is one of the most sought after orgasms because of its full-body wave effect coupled with the clit explosion. This orgasm can induce both crunching forward and wild hip motions, plus arching backward, head back, and delicious moaning.
Other types of orgasms include nipple O’s, cervical O’s, orgasms of the P-spot, the K-spot, the perineal sponge, urethral/urination orgasms, anal O’s, and anywhere else on the body that she is super sensitive to touch.
Of all the physically-based orgasms, the most intense, for me, personally, is the uterine orgasm. The uterine orgasm is brought on by stimulation of the cervix and A-Spot, coincidentally stimulating the prostate/She Spot at the same time. This results in a compulsory doubling over and emotional outburst — a true gut-wrenching thrashing usually accompanied by uncontrollable crying. Not pretty crying either. So the face of this orgasm is kind of like a nervous breakdown — a bit unnerving for onlookers but soul-shatteringly amazing to experience.
These signs are for physically-based orgasms that most people can do without much effort. Use plenty of lube, work the spots, communicate — not very difficult. However, energy-based orgasms cause the body to twist and contort in ways unimaginable.
Kundalini orgasms are known for inducing a sharp, sudden, involuntary arching of the back, in both women and men. While some men consider arching the back to be a “woman’s” type of orgasm, I like to think of this phenomenon as a “human being’s” orgasmic response. For Kundalini orgasms, the mouth may be wide open, deep moans being heard, while the head is bent so far back, you might think the woman is going into a gymnast’s backbend. All of this is involuntary. (And pretty frickin’ incredible!)
So what is the face of a woman who is having real orgasms? Not something she’d want posted in the church’s Sunday bulletin, that’s for sure. If the woman can, in any way, be considered to look “pretty,” she’s not having a real orgasm.
If she is crunching forward and her face looks as if she is somewhere between “really pissed off” and “warrior queen about to rip your limbs from your body,” then she’s probably having a real orgasm. If her head is back, her mouth open, and her brow slightly to fully furrowed, that’s a great sign of a real orgasm as well. When her arms fly up over her head, don’t be offended! This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to hold on to you. Especially if her hands wind up behind her head, this is a great sign of a deep, powerful orgasm. (If you’ve read my DailyOJ, you know I can vouch for this effect.)
Her eyes may be open during clitoral orgasms, but for most other types of orgasms, her eyes will probably be closed. For myself, I’ve noticed my eyes shoot open at the onset of blended orgasms but then immediately close again through the rest of the climax/multiple orgasms. For Kundalini orgasms, my eyes are closed, head is all the way back, hands fly up over my head, and my body rocks-and-rolls side to side while my knees come up, then my legs kick out over and over again. (Just sayin’.)
You decide: Which one is faking and which one is real?
Along with the facial contortions or the gaping jaw and arching back, her skin will become flush due to increased blood flow, her nipples may be so perky they’re reaching for the ceiling, and her hips (hell, most of her body) will be moving involuntarily. For energy orgasms, she will probably be rockin’-and-rollin’ side to side with extra contractions and rolling through her abdominals, not just crunching forward or arching backward as during physical orgasms.
If she can speak in complete sentences, or is constantly reassuring your ego, she might be faking for your benefit. If her words are incoherent and grabbing at you is her only primal form of communication, then you might be on the right track — to helping her orgasm.
More importantly, don’t be so visual. This isn’t porn. This is a real, live woman. You need to feel her reactions. When a woman is close to orgasm, especially if any clitoral stimulation has been done, the clitoral bulbs that form a “horseshoe” over and around the vaginal opening expand with blood flow, just as the penis expands with blood flow during arousal. This feels like a vice-grip clamping down on your penis.
(Side note: My asshole ex-husband used to tell me he didn’t like the vice-grip feeling because it made him start to lose his erection… so that’s probably why I never orgasmed with him.)
Remember, guys. You cannot “make” a woman orgasm. Orgasm begins and ends in the woman’s mind — not just her brain. Stimulate her mind first and the body will follow suit. In fact, the face and body will tell you everything if your sexual relationship is rooted in honest communication.
What does your face look like in orgasm? Send me a picture, and I just might post it!
With all the hullabaloo over stupid men being … well… stupid… (*see this post and this post… and well, maybe this post, too*). I am thankfully reminded that not all penised persons are cads and misogynists.
After a long day battling for vagina rights on the Twitterwebz, an ArousedWoman reader sent me a lovely comment about his own orgasmic awakening thanks to reading some of my posts — my “Allowing and Receiving” post, specifically.
I’m not taking credit for his orgasm success (okay, well, I’d love to!), but really it’s about him shedding some of the patriarchal bullshit and cultural stereotypes of sex and orgasm. Divesting himself of aiming for a pre-determined goal has opened up his body and his mind to new realizations in arousal and the orgasmic response(s).
Okay, so I’m totally interjecting my perspective on his experience, but here is what he first wrote in about experiencing a soulgasm(!!!), and below is what he said today.
I love ending the night on a good note.
However, I laid in bed and felt my genital/pelvic bowl area from the inside — mentally feeling the area, like a genital meditation. I felt heat and throbbing, but more of it — more expansive. And I felt fullness. I didn’t feel “empty” vaginally.
I couldn’t resist feeling with my hand what was going on down there, and I was amazed. Combining the stimulation technique of OM with my previous energy work of KSMO, Tantra, and Kundalini has turned out to be the best orgasm combo ever.
Aside from being fully wet (thanks extra water and fish oil!), my clit was fully aroused like I’ve never experienced before. The clitoris, so very similar to the male penis, has a length of several inches inside the female, with extending parts, nerve endings, and vascular system. When unaroused, the clitoral head and the first part of the shaft hang down. But when aroused, the clit is erect.
I’ve never felt my clit so erect — ever, especially with no stimulation. Usually, once stimulated to this point and near orgasm, the clitoral head actually sinks back into the body — another sign of impending orgasm — when the clit is practically flush to the pubic bone. When erect, I can feel the shaft of my clit between my fingers — but just barely there. This morning, however, she was firmer than I’d ever felt her — higher, too. A true erection (though she couldn’t have been more than a 1/4″ high, if that). She felt… huge… and growing… I had the fleeting thought, “Is this what it’s like to have an erection?!” But she felt amazing — inside and out.
But with alarms going off for the impending hectic morning craziness, I couldn’t pursue anything… Instead, I spent the day writing yet another breast article.
That night, I felt that energy again, the humming/buzzing energy throughout my body. I had several full-body O’s via the lightest nipple stimulation — barely touching my breasts with my fingertips. Weird, but cool. With tomorrow being the last day of school, I decided to let it be… for now… I would have time to explore these awakenings later.
Aroused and erect,
(* In response to another question about fluids during sex.* )
You might watch your water intake so the bladder isn’t really filling up so quickly. But remember the female prostate is linked to the urethra — the prostate drains into the urethra as well as secretes fluids into the vagina. So it may actually be the lubricant/ejaculate plasma not urine, even though you have that urge to urinate and do release fluid after your orgasms. And even if it is urine, so WHAT?! Enjoy!
But the thoughts I had this morning, is that do men have such trouble with a full bladder and an erection? One former partner wouldn’t do morning sex without first a trip to the bathroom, which I totally understood — except he would spend more time in the bathroom trying to “talk down” his morning erection just to urinate, and then focus to get the erection again. I think the fear men have is urinating instead of or just after ejaculating. While I understand the “ewwww!” factor, the vagina is decidedly acidic with a pH of 3.8 to 4.5, and urine is sterile anyway, so it’s not like it would actually harm anything if urine came out… another reason for keeping towels handy.
In ancient cultures, all these fluids were viewed as sacred. So whatever the body does during arousal and orgasm is cool with me… as long as I don’t look fat doing it.
P.S. I’m looking up the Arvigo abdominal massage… sounds awesome and oh, so, timely for our world of couch potatoes and sitting-at-the-computer addicts (like me!).
Tonight: KSMO 20-minute practice session… may try not touching the clit… or do She-spot massage … AND tomorrow, I’m going to my first active participation with my new Kelly Howell Kundalini CD. I’ll post my results, to see if I feel that serpent energy slithering up my spine. … would be delish if my prostate can hold that arousal it’s been dishing up lately and have some chi raising up into my chest/breast area… hmmmmm…
Aroused and journaling,