AskTrish: Stop Ejaculating and Have Multiple Orgasms Already
A little something different from the usual AskTrish post…
While posting pics on my ArousedWoman Tumblr page, I came across a post on another Tumblr page in which a querent (I’m assuming male) asked: “when i masturbate and i hit orgasm once i cant have another one why not ? am i doing something wrong ?” The moderator responded: “no, not everyone is capable of multiple orgasms, that’s just the way it is…”
That is absolutely NOT TRUE — not even for men!
Ejaculating is a reflex, but it is a controllable reflex of the sympathetic nervous system. Semen is ejected due to contractions by the bulbospongiosus muscle. On a subtle body/spirit level, ejaculate is comprised of life force energy, and it takes an inordinate about of physical energy to produce and expel ejaculate from the body — hence the reason a guy is usually exhausted and needs a nap afterward. Ejac expends energy, causing fatigue for the man.
In women, stimulating the clit, which is synonymous to the penis, gives a localized burst of tension release at the clitoris, but any kind of vaginal orgasm (prostate/She Spot, cervical/uterine, AFE, PFE, even perineal sponge) creates full-body waves of bliss that flow and flow and flow, like waves that repeatedly crash against a shore. The clitoris is wired to the spinal cord via the pudendal nerve, but the vagina’s main nerve is the vagus nerve which bypasses the spinal cord and plugs directly into the brain.
Knowing how the body works physiologically helps in integrating the subtle energy body with the physical body, which leads to orgasms that literally blow your mind and everything you thought you knew about your body or orgasm. Conjuring orgasm via an energy-based practice with the help of a little anatomy know-how creates orgasm experiences that feel like Big Bang explosions in your core and your head — not localized to just the genitals.
Orgasm is a response of the parasympathetic nervous system. Orgasm increases energy. Many people use climaxing for muscle tension release before bed so they can get sleepy. However, orgasm in an energy practice gives and expands energy. From the Greek word, orgasmos, orgasm literally means “to swell.” Orgasm is NOT the end of a sexual experience but one amazing part of the journey. The end isn’t even “climax” but bliss, altered states of consciousness (no drugs needed!), awareness, and connection to self, your partner (if applicable), and the Universe.
ALL woman AND men are capable of multiple orgasms — FOR HOURS, days, weeks! Live your whole life in an orgasmic state of energy bliss… Why not?!
People need to STOP the myths and lies about what is possible in orgasm. ‘Cause I guaran-damn-tee MOST people have never experienced even an inkling of what orgasm can be. They grew up jerking off to skin mags and probably learned most of what they know about sex from watching the fakery of porn and memorizing the stupidity of magazine sex quizzes while standing in line at the store.
They should stop giving advice and read my fucking blog already!
trish
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DailyOJ 10-19-12 Part 2: Integration of Clitoral Orgasms & Disappointment
* Read Part 1 here. *
Also, this September, I noticed how my clitoral orgasms are not as explosive and separate from my vaginal/prostate orgasms as they used to be. Instead of an obvious explosion, that typifies the clit orgasm, my clitoral orgasms have become much fuller, more like full-body expansion up my torso and through me in waves rather than being localized to the clit in a hot quick burst of release. These new clitoral orgasms (in conjunction with prostate stim) have been amazing.
My prostate orgasms have been insanely intense, and yet I have not felt the awakening in my prostate that I had hoped for since resuming my practice in August. I could still be in a time of adjustment, or my prostate could be so integrated now that my body is now accustomed to the sensations that were once so new and startling. (Which sucks because I love when my prostate is so awake I literally can’t sit still.) However, I know my prostate is very much awake and attentive because I have urination orgasms almost every time I go to the bathroom. And of course, the blended orgasms are truly out of this world.
On a side note, since crossing that threshold into being 40, I have noticed since September that I’m not as wet as I used to be. I know my caffeine intake is too high, and I’ve been forgetting to take my fish oil, but not being crazy-wet all the time has me concerned about my hormone levels as well as my hydration and diet regimen. I eat pretty well — on the rare occasion too much sugar, but nowhere near what I used to consume. So I’ve made a conscious effort to lay off most sugar/starch, take my fish oil, eat my dark chocolate, and drink LOTS of water. I can tell when I’m properly hydrated by the prostate orgasms that radiate through my torso and up my spine to my scalp and face when I go to the bathroom. No orgasm while urinating? CHUG ICE WATER.
I’ve been trying to do my Sparkles-assisted sessions on Monday, Wednesday, Friday — during the day, since I’m loud, saving my hands-only, quieter, blended, wake-up O’s for Saturdays and/or Sundays.
Today, I experienced again what had been happening for the past couple of weeks. Starting the session later than I prefer puts me in a bit of a stress mode since I like to have my “lying broken” time first to clear the mind fuzz. If I have less than 3 hours, I usually don’t bother. But today, I had less than 2 hours, but really wanted to have a session, so I went for it… which may have been what set me up for the resulting disappointment.
By not having my “lying broken” time, the mind fuzz was all a-chatter in my head. Life, work, this blog, Twitter, updating my site, hoping I can raise enough funds to start my radio show and forum, organizing my own orgasm training method in my head — my mind would not slow down, shut off, or shut up. And yet, I proceeded. Pathetically. I did about 15 minutes of sounds on Aum, doing light sensual massage. After a minute, I had some light nipple-gasms (disappointed that it took that long). A few minutes into the Aumming, I started clit massage. Took a good minute to get an OM-clit-gasm. (Disappointing.) Trying to put a finger in, there was vaginal fluid at the opening, enough to insert my finger to stim my prostate, but certainly not enough to accommodate my purple silicone friend, Sparkles.
This had been going on for a few weeks now. Too much caffeine and not enough vag fluid. I always use lube with Sparkles, but now being 40, the idea of being one of “those” women who can’t get wet sent a panic through me. My ex used to complain about how wet I got during sex — he would pull out and use the sheet to wipe me off till my vulva was bone dry and he could get friction (the fact that it hurt me didn’t seem to matter) — what mattered now was that I may have wasted over a decade of being a natural female ejaculator with a man who hated my amount of fluids! Somewhere in my psyche, I may have shut that down, and now being 40, the natural hormonal changes to my body might prevent me from ever ejaculating! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!! (I’m not sure about this as a point of fact, but that was the fear that ran through my head… as if I had room for more mind noise…)
So what the hell was the point?! Why am I doing this?! Why don’t I just stop — call it a day? I’ve done that before. This time, I couldn’t just stop. I wasn’t having a female blue-balls moment (yes, we can get those). Quite the contrary, I could have very easily just gotten up. But I was so annoyed that my routine was interrupted by starting late, my vagina was dry from my over-consumption of caffeine, and my mind would just not shut the fuck up. And now it was glaringly obvious that I was so attached to the outcome, I couldn’t just end the session out of separation anxiety… What if my fabulous, life-altering orgasm journey is caput? What if the ride is over and the cosmic carousel operator is trying to get me to move the hell on — and what, take up knitting?!
Granted, the “worst,” most “disappointing” orgasm nowadays is better than the best orgasm I ever had prior to beginning this journey. But I feel like I’ve learned so much about myself, and I have so much more to learn, that it just can’t be “over!” It can’t continue to be a series of technically great orgasms that don’t resonate with me vibrationally!!
GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
So I soldiered on with Sparkles, had a physically great orgasm … and then, the worst did, in fact, happen. I cried… but not in euphoria, but rather in disappointment. This was the first time that I remember crying out of the lack of something, something was missing, and I was sad in my heart. It dawned on me later that what’s missing just might be a physical partner.
Having soared to incredible peaks on my own, I know I’m more than ready for a partner, but my current life circumstances prevent me from pursuing pleasure with someone else. This is not only sexually frustrating, but it hurts my heart. I believe I have a great deal to offer a man, especially in the sex/orgasm department, but I can’t pursue anything until my divorce is finalized. And so Asshole — my ex — still has a power over me. I fear that having any kind of sexual relations “outside of marriage” (though I moved out 2 years ago), will be used against me to the point of losing custody of my daughter. That is exactly what has happened to other women (it’s part of living in a Bible-thumpin’ Red State). Another added layer of mind noise moves to the forefront.
I feel suddenly broken in many ways, and yet, I’m at a fork in the road, but I don’t know which way to go. As a friend told me, my energy is scattered. I know my heart is here with my activism and ArousedWoman(TM). Hopefully, my emotional heart will be able to find its place with a partner soon enough… Bring on the ice water!
Aroused and scattered,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
OpEd: The Face of Orgasm: Is Your Woman Faking Orgasms or Not?
Copyright 2012 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
It’s been said that every woman fakes orgasms at some point. Well, I’m here to tell you I never did. Never. I never had an orgasm during partnered sex, and I sure wasn’t going to fake it. I made sure the guy knew I wasn’t seeing god, or cosmic rainbows, or magickal unicorns just because his penis was inside me. He could deal with his ego later.
Recently, I read a particular, highly recommended book on cunnilingus but had a difficult time finishing it. The anatomic information was mostly good, but the male writer’s anecdotes about female orgasm were peppered with sexist, rude, even misogynist remarks I simply could not overlook. Having admitted that he was bad at sex and suffered with erectile issues, the author made the egregious comment that screamers and women who throw their heads back are “obvious” orgasm fakers.
I wanted to throw the book across the room, but unfortunately, I was at a restaurant. (Yes, I read sex books while eating… lunch.)
Women are complex creatures and are, thusly, capable of complex, varied types of orgasms. It only makes sense that the body and the face would have different corresponding reactions. Yes, I said body. Were you only watching her face?
For a traditional clitoral orgasm, the orgasm is localized to the clit/genital area. The woman’s torso will most likely crunch forward. The hips/pelvis will tuck or raise up off the bed. Her face will similarly be “crunched” into a look she wouldn’t really want to make otherwise: furrowed brow, gritting the teeth, even jutting the jaw forward. (I could go into my theory on why this is but I would have to bore you with vocal science and the pedagogy of phonation.)
A vaginal/She Spot orgasm tends to be a full-body wave type of orgasm that washes over the body but lacks the explosion of the clitoral orgasm. The woman’s mouth will be open, the jaw down and back, and she may moan differently because of it. Her head may tilt backward, and she may even arch her back. Please note the vagina has numerous spots capable of various kinds of pleasure and responses.
A blended orgasm that stems from both clitoral and vaginal/She Spot simulation is one of the most sought after orgasms because of its full-body wave effect coupled with the clit explosion. This orgasm can induce both crunching forward and wild hip motions, plus arching backward, head back, and delicious moaning.
Other types of orgasms include nipple O’s, cervical O’s, orgasms of the P-spot, the K-spot, the perineal sponge, urethral/urination orgasms, anal O’s, and anywhere else on the body that she is super sensitive to touch.
Of all the physically-based orgasms, the most intense, for me, personally, is the uterine orgasm. The uterine orgasm is brought on by stimulation of the cervix and A-Spot, coincidentally stimulating the prostate/She Spot at the same time. This results in a compulsory doubling over and emotional outburst — a true gut-wrenching thrashing usually accompanied by uncontrollable crying. Not pretty crying either. So the face of this orgasm is kind of like a nervous breakdown — a bit unnerving for onlookers but soul-shatteringly amazing to experience.
These signs are for physically-based orgasms that most people can do without much effort. Use plenty of lube, work the spots, communicate — not very difficult. However, energy-based orgasms cause the body to twist and contort in ways unimaginable.
Kundalini orgasms are known for inducing a sharp, sudden, involuntary arching of the back, in both women and men. While some men consider arching the back to be a “woman’s” type of orgasm, I like to think of this phenomenon as a “human being’s” orgasmic response. For Kundalini orgasms, the mouth may be wide open, deep moans being heard, while the head is bent so far back, you might think the woman is going into a gymnast’s backbend. All of this is involuntary. (And pretty frickin’ incredible!)
So what is the face of a woman who is having real orgasms? Not something she’d want posted in the church’s Sunday bulletin, that’s for sure. If the woman can, in any way, be considered to look “pretty,” she’s not having a real orgasm.
If she is crunching forward and her face looks as if she is somewhere between “really pissed off” and “warrior queen about to rip your limbs from your body,” then she’s probably having a real orgasm. If her head is back, her mouth open, and her brow slightly to fully furrowed, that’s a great sign of a real orgasm as well. When her arms fly up over her head, don’t be offended! This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to hold on to you. Especially if her hands wind up behind her head, this is a great sign of a deep, powerful orgasm. (If you’ve read my DailyOJ, you know I can vouch for this effect.)
Her eyes may be open during clitoral orgasms, but for most other types of orgasms, her eyes will probably be closed. For myself, I’ve noticed my eyes shoot open at the onset of blended orgasms but then immediately close again through the rest of the climax/multiple orgasms. For Kundalini orgasms, my eyes are closed, head is all the way back, hands fly up over my head, and my body rocks-and-rolls side to side while my knees come up, then my legs kick out over and over again. (Just sayin’.)
Other indicators of real orgasm are legs shaking and toes/feet curling inward, energy zings down the legs, rapid breathing, and even female ejaculation.
You decide: Which one is faking and which one is real?
Along with the facial contortions or the gaping jaw and arching back, her skin will become flush due to increased blood flow, her nipples may be so perky they’re reaching for the ceiling, and her hips (hell, most of her body) will be moving involuntarily. For energy orgasms, she will probably be rockin’-and-rollin’ side to side with extra contractions and rolling through her abdominals, not just crunching forward or arching backward as during physical orgasms.
If she can speak in complete sentences, or is constantly reassuring your ego, she might be faking for your benefit. If her words are incoherent and grabbing at you is her only primal form of communication, then you might be on the right track — to helping her orgasm.
More importantly, don’t be so visual. This isn’t porn. This is a real, live woman. You need to feel her reactions. When a woman is close to orgasm, especially if any clitoral stimulation has been done, the clitoral bulbs that form a “horseshoe” over and around the vaginal opening expand with blood flow, just as the penis expands with blood flow during arousal. This feels like a vice-grip clamping down on your penis.
(Side note: My asshole ex-husband used to tell me he didn’t like the vice-grip feeling because it made him start to lose his erection… so that’s probably why I never orgasmed with him.)
Remember, guys. You cannot “make” a woman orgasm. Orgasm begins and ends in the woman’s mind — not just her brain. Stimulate her mind first and the body will follow suit. In fact, the face and body will tell you everything if your sexual relationship is rooted in honest communication.
What does your face look like in orgasm? Send me a picture, and I just might post it!
trish
DailyOJ 08-09-12: The Return of the Tingles
In similar fashion to the return of my afternoon delights yesterday, I had yet another KSMO session and a date with Sparkles, my purple silicone boyfriend. This was concurrent to yesterday’s session, which Jack does not recommend for newbies. However, I attained Adept status a couple months ago (apparently), so I kinda get to do what I want. (Neener-neener.)
I had already decided I was going to do back-to-back days about a month ago — the longing to be free again had been so poignant and clear. (“Man, I just need to be fucked already — and SOON!”) I had been feeling the almost overwhelming need — craving — to experience that wild, bed-frolicking, hip-rollicking abandon of insatiable passion and out-of-body orgasms that I had glimpsed in the Fall and Spring. I knew I couldn’t gain it all back overnight, but I figured a few back-to-back sessions wouldn’t do any harm, especially since the weekend is right here, and I’d be back on the wagon. (Sigh.)
Essentially, today’s session was much like yesterday’s. I laid in bed an hour in some stupidly ridiculous bliss of just being okay laying in bed being stupidly ridiculously blissful. My mind wandered. That was okay. I stealth O’d. That was fabulous. When I was ready for KSMO, I did KSMO. I felt some tingles which were a good sign, but I didn’t try to make anything happen. I finished the session, fucked Sparkles, cried, lather, rinse, repeat.
Okay…. Here’s where it got interesting. In the time afterward, I was paying attention to my body — what I was feeling, where, and how; what I felt emotionally, mentally, intellectually about what I was feeling physically, energetically, spiritually.
I noticed the crying afterward had been delayed by a couple minutes. This felt strange not to be immediately emotional. The orgasms felt good. What was the problem? I remembered this happened yesterday, too, and I felt the same conflicted response to the quasi-ambivalent emotion. The crying happened, and when it did, the feelings I felt were not just caused by the stimulation of my A-spot to induce the emotional uterine orgasm (that sounds so mechanical). What I felt were feelings of emotion that were tied to insecurities and uncertainties about finding a partner: why would any man want to be with me, why would a man love me, what did I have to offer? I had no answers, so I cried some more. I was too involved in the unexpected pity party to pay attention to whatever might have been happening physiologically in my genitals. I can only assume my body went through its usual after-O’s. But I don’t know for sure.
As the emotion slowed to a trickle, I noticed energy on my left side, up my leg and into my torso. I then felt energy collect in the ball of my left foot and shoot out from there. I have felt this before, and the image that comes to mind is the end of the animated film, The Beauty and the Beast. During his change from “The Beast” back to a “Man,” a ray of “light” bursts out of his feet and hands. That is what it feels like — a sudden gathering of energy that shoots out in a ray of light energy explosion… (except my feet aren’t hairy like the Beast’s. Just sayin’.)
Another unexpected sensation occurred while I was laying there feeling my feelings — the emotional ones as well as the physical sensations. My eyes were closed, but my attention was drawn to my hands. If my hands aren’t over my head, they are usually resting on my torso at my bottom rib/waistline area. I lay like this so my upper arms can support the weight of my breasts. I thought my hands were in the air, but I didn’t remember telling them to move. I opened my eyes and looked down. My arms were still by my sides, my hands still on my waist. But it felt like my hands were in mid-air, but heavy, like they were trying to pull away from me, or pull me up. I have felt similar “pulling” sensations when I experienced heartgasms — it felt like my inner me was trying desperately to separate from my body when I was wide awake — this happened for almost two weeks!
The rest of the day, I felt the odd tingle here and there, nothing major nor localized for too long in any one spot. (Wow, just got a zap of energy through my right outer labia just remembering that. Cool.) I didn’t have any single tingle strong enough or long enough for it to register as a particular -gasm, i.e., scalpgasm, leg-gasm, deskgasm, etc. I could feel the beginnings of the beginnings of awakening, the stirrings before the actual stirrings begin. So I know the bamboo has been growing under the surface and will burst through soon. Time is the only water it needs…. Dammit.
Aroused and tingling,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
Comment 07-28-12: Reading ‘Aroused Woman’ Caused a Soulgasm
As word is spreading about Aroused Woman, readers are taking my personal experiences to heart (and clit, and vagina, and prostate…).
I love hearing from my readers, and here is an example of a great surprise comment I received over Twitter. It wasn’t necessarily the woman who experienced a change from her husband reading my blog — he did!
Fabulous!
trish
DailyOJ 07-09-12: Allowing and Receiving
As I lay in bed this morning, trying to delay getting up and starting my day, I allowed my self some of my now customary stealth orgasms. These then led to spontaneous O’s, i.e., the just-thinking-of-O’s orgasms and the where-did-that-come-from-’cause-I-wasn’t-doing-anything orgasms. These “integrated,” stealth orgasms are not explosive or exciting in the usual sense — I’m sure if someone were to look on, he or she would be very bored. But somehow, they are fulfilling to me.
I waited too late to start actual genital stimulation for a blended orgasm because just a few minutes into it, I heard sounds from beyond my bedroom door signaling the child was awake. I sighed in frustration. I was not so far into the process that I would have that nagging, swollen, pulsating vulva and tingly/ itchy feeling all over from not finishing. But apparently I’d done enough in that short amount of time that as soon as I withdrew my fingers from my slick inner depths, I could feel contractions in my vagina, my PC muscles, my anus, in my legs, my abdominals, and fluttering in my ribcage. Great. My body was having the after-orgasm echo effects, but I didn’t get to savor the blended O — or any genital O — itself.
Strangely, I didn’t feel sexual frustration. I guess the numerous stealth O’s from the nipple and OM/clit stim had been enough — or had heated up my parasympathetic nervous system enough — that my body was satisfied even though “I” wasn’t.
I listened intently and heard the child go back to her room. I thought about resuming but decided to enjoy the after-shocks instead. I closed my eyes and sent my focus to various areas, enjoying the internal swelling of aroused vaginal walls, the natural undulation of my hips, and the overall sensation of fulfillment that is similar in feeling to standing on the beach and feeling the wind washing over my face and body — as if the cosmos has given me a gentle hug and in its wake is an enveloping energy that is infinitely soothing. That is what the stealth orgasms feel like — they go through me, over me, under and around me, and I feel completely light as air and satisfied in a deeper sense than I’ve ever known.
“Allowing” is often seen as “giving up” or “giving in,” so chasing results often becomes a requisite for existence in daily life and business. Being “in the moment” to enjoy what you’re feeling now, in this moment, not the next, not later, not comparing to last time, but now is to be in true harmony with your body and in true bliss.
Orgasm is not a goal to be won or achieved, it is a moment to be experienced and savored just like every other moment.
“Orgasm” literally means “to swell,” but common thinking has led us to believe that orgasm is the end of a sexual experience. It isn’t. Orgasm is actually the beginning of the sexual experience, or the process of getting to that precipice of “la petite mort” explosion. And if we focus on the end of the experience then we are missing out on all the other, smaller but just as beautiful and important experiences along the way: the arousal process, the true orgasms, the more subtle, true orgasmic process of excitement as it swells in each moment.
Rather than actively going forward, reaching for some pre-determined end or idea of “climax,” allow your self to receive the moment. Receive the orgasm that is happening right now. Feel it wash over you… Be grateful… Now feel this moment… Allow… Receive… Be amazed… Be grateful… Now feel this moment……
Orgasm is not the end. Orgasm is the process itself, a process that doesn’t necessarily need an ending.
Aroused and allowing,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
DailyOJ 07-03-12: Integration, Starting Over, & Leg-gasms
I am not a patient person. I don’t like waiting. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like subtlety in most instances.
My Musical Theatre training is probably to blame.
Over the past few weeks, since my last DailyOJ post, I’ve noticed that my orgasms from nipple stimulation or the OM touch are not nearly as… sudden… as they were back in May.
I need even less stim than ever, ironically — one or two flicks of a fingertip, and the orgasms start. They are full-body and oddly satisfying, but my back isn’t arching as much — I can’t even feel my cervix dipping down anymore, or it’s too subtle to notice. The orgasms flow through my body rather than “hit” my body or “explode.” And the ceiling fan is no longer a potential mate.
Whenever a new development occurs, it is usually startlingly noticeable. So very different, so impactful that I have to notice the new reactions my body is having. Then after a month or two, the initial effects fade, or become integrated, and I have to re-learn my body all over again.
But I don’t like starting all over again… okay, it’s not starting “all” over again, but it seems that way. As soon as I learn how to drive this thing, it adds another gear I have to learn to maneuver. In fact, when I occasionally go back and read what I’ve written, I remember the experiences in the post vividly, but it feels like they happened so long ago, that it couldn’t have been just a few weeks ago?!
The couple of times I’ve had the opportunity to use my purple friend (vibe sans batteries) — a couple weeks ago and this morning, a plethora of neighbors has been home in the adjacent apartments. I am now more convinced than ever that SOUND is crucial to bliss. The arousal isn’t as satisfying when I can’t make my loud sounds — not intentionally loud, but just my natural exclamations during the arousal and orgasmic process. And when I can’t be as loud during the orgasms, the orgasms are not as full-filling. They don’t fill up my body. Because my focus is on my body (my voice) remaining inside/ internal (i.e., quiet), the orgasms are localized to the genital and lower abs area but they are not explosive, they are full body wave-like, minus the full body aspect. And they’re not as emotional. So really, I am very annoyed right now.
That being said, I did a hands-on blended O early yesterday morning that was stunning. I haven’t been spending quality time with my prostate like she deserves… seems I’ve been all over these nipple/spontaneous orgasms for the past month, and now that they’re seeming to fade in intensity, my prostate is reminding me she likes to be loved on, too.
Since I can’t be loud much anyway, this is causing me to wonder if I should put my purple friend aside for a while. My initial reaction is a horrified, “NO!” The deep thrusts hitting the AFE/A-spot is the only thing that brings on the crying/uterine orgasms… though… oddly enough, the nipple/OM orgasms have been inducing tears and a softer emotional pull (rather than the deep/core emotional response). And I can keep them going for a while — for as long as I feel like playing with my nipples or my clit. (I’ll alternate so nobody gets sore.) The whole time I feel this swirling of energy in my torso, pushing outward, sometimes upward like it wants to come out my throat/voice, but vocalizations during these kinds of orgasms are more glottal stops rather than moans — I might see if I can specifically direct that energy next time (tonight!).
And while I’m at it, I’ll just mention that I’ve had the strangest, spontaneous shooting of energy down my left leg. It happens while I’m at my desk, especially if I’ve had a scalpgasm. The energy going down is a new one for me. Since starting Kundalini work, I’ve tried to focus on energy going up the spine and down the front. These scalpgasms go around the back of my head, up, then down my neck to my back. Very different for me. Also, when I’m in bed, I will barely brush my fingernail over my left hip flexor, and the entire skin area of my left leg zings with energy — feels like a million little ants are crawling on my leg at once, only it’s not creepy like that. 
It feels tingly fabulous. (I’m getting tingles across the back of my head, and down my arms and legs just proof-reading this!)
All of this leads me to think that I’m in a down-swing, or at least in a phase of integration. The bad news is my Irish impatience is gonna get really frustrated with all this… again… I thought I was finally learning how to Yin, but this is bringing the Yang to the fore like crazy. The goal-oriented, severely attached to the outcome part of me that I had been able to subside is raising doubts, disappointments, insecurity, and fear. I don’t like this one bit.
The good news is that every time there’s been a valley, the next peak has been breathtakingly amazing. So I’m trying to keep the Irish/Yang in check for the next five weeks. We’ll see if I feel more freedom as school starts, and I’m alone during the days again.
Guess, I’ll need to stock up on potstickers till August 7th.
Aroused and integrating,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
DailyOJ 04-25-12 & REVIEW: OM – Getting OneTaste of an Orgasm Meditation
OM is the clitoris-centric practice brought to the masses by Nicole Daedone, author of Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm
Daedone is obviously passionate about getting this revolutionary information out to women, and so am I!
Speaking for myself, I find clit-only stimulation and orgasms to be extremely boring — or I did, before OM. Having discovered my She Spot over a decade ago, I’m rather an aficionado of blended orgasms, stimulating both my She Spot and clit simultaneously to achieve both the full-body waves of the vaginal orgasm and the fireworks’ explosion of heat of the clitoral orgasm. Since becoming acquainted with my prostate last fall and making peace with my breasts, I have been on a path of rediscovering my body now that I see it as truly mine — not a man’s plaything or a child’s source of nourishment.
I hesitated to even try the OM technique, which only lasts 15 minutes, because it is a couple’s practice, and I’m single. I tried it the first time and didn’t get much out of it, but that was completely my fault. After years of blended O’s, stimulating just the clit was weird, made even weirder because the fingering technique is not the hard and fast circles of friggin’ off women are so used to seeing in porn and doing on themselves. The OM touch is a gentle, subtle touch that I didn’t appreciate at first.
Clitoral orgasms are typically localized to the clitoral area, with an explosion that doesn’t leave any lasting orgasmic contractions the way vaginal orgasms do (for me, anyway). The clitoris is itself much more than just the “rosebud” visible from the outside. Also, after years of being on the vibration bandwagon thanks to effective marketing that makes women think “assisted” orgasms are better (they’re not), I had absolutely no feeling in my clit at all, unless I used a vibrator. My clit was dead. Having thrown my Hitachi Wand in the dumpster a year ago, I had to give my clit time to heal from the nerve damage while I began my new life as a Recovering Vibratoraholic. It was then I realized that by using a vibrator on my clit and a g-spot vibe inside to orgasm, I hadn’t actually touched my lady’s loins in a damn long time — this was exacerbated by my new life and new stresses as a single mother. The past year of bodily and orgasmic explorations brought me back in touch with the amazing textures, capabilities, and ever-changing environments of my genitals. I only WISH I’d known about OM-ing a year ago!
My second go with OM-ing was late at night, when I was in bed and generally feeling very Zen — i.e., lazy but not sleepy. I was too tired to drag out a toy and expend the energy that would entail, so it seemed to be the perfect time to try OM again. Thoroughly relaxed — a rarity for me, I allowed myself to have a goalless, non-attachment philosophy toward OM-ing. OM is simple and unpretentious, similar to how I like my sex. After all, OM is a technique to make orgasms better, not necessarily to orgasm at that moment — which was good because the thought of a lackluster clitoral orgasm wasn’t appealing. (I was tired, not crazy.)
I set the timer alarm on my phone for the requisite 15 minutes. As I lay there in the dark, with my nightly meditation CD playing, I began the finger technique on my clit — a very precise technique on an exact part of the clit — and began to have the most amazing sensations. Heat began to rise up from my clit and circulate like spirals of arousal energy snaking up my body and down my limbs. (You don’t have to subscribe to chakras and chi to get the benefits of this mojo either.)
I could have lived in this energy forever, and knowing I wasn’t trying for an orgasm seemed to take some pressure off, and before I knew it, a huge, full-body orgasm hit. My back arched, my legs kicked out, and I made my moans that I love so much. It was incredible. Actually, it was multiple. I kept up the precise fingering, and the wave/explosions kept hitting.
It was like having two separate experiences at once: #1: an in-body experience of the orgasms and feelings themselves, and #2: an out-of-body/observer experience that was shocked that I’d just had a full-body O via clit-only stimulation — and not the frantic circle stim either, but the soft, light, unassuming OM flick of the index finger across my long-unappreciated clitoris.
Then the 15-minute alarm sounded. I have never hated my phone more than at that moment!
The next surprise was the tears. Since finding my true orgasmic potential, my orgasms are always multiples, and the denouement is always emotional. The harder the gut-wrenching sobs, the stronger and more numerous the orgasms were. Crying after a clit-only session was definitely a new one for me!
Since then, my clit has been more responsive to touch and required less stimulation during my other orgasmic pursuits. While I’m still learning about clitoral and vaginal orgasms and how they differ due to the different major nerves that feed feeling to the separate areas, I’m a big believer in OM.
OM-ing is about discovery, and connection, and awakening. It is about emotion and relating, and I can only imagine how powerful OM can be with a partner.
The only downside I can see to OM is that men may view it as yet another practice in which they do all the “work” while the woman gets all the “benefits.” These insecure men probably wouldn’t appreciate the subtle genius of OM anyway. ***NOTE: Since the clit and the head of a man’s penis are synonymous, I would theorize that the OM technique could be quite delicious on the man as well, just re-set the 15-minute timer. ***
Yes, OM recommends a particular set-up or sacred space called “the nest” to create atmosphere as well as comfort. OM requires a specific position for both the woman and her partner. OneStroke Lube. 15 minutes. But once the OM-ing is done, you can both hit the bed (or the diningroom table) and continue with the merry-making. (Any straight man who wouldn’t want to spend 15 minutes’ quality time with his woman spread eagle on his lap needs help.) And for those who are woo-woo-minded, Tantra and other sex practices acknowledge that it takes 15-30 minutes of stimulation to get a women fully aroused and in the multiple orgasm zone. OM is a great way to spend that 15 minutes.
OM is available through OneTaste, which offers classes, videos, and workshops to hone the OM technique as well as improve the communication of the couple. After all, “relationship” is the active relating to another person. How often is sex bad because there is no relating between the people involved? Have a look at OneTaste’s Essentials Package for starters.
Have you tried OM-ing? Let me know by leaving a comment below!
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
To watch Nicole’s presentation at TEDxSF, click play:
DailyOJ 12-30-11: Yin-Yang & Deskgasm
December 30, 2011
I think I’m finally getting the hang of this let-the-body-do-its-thang process. It’s still a process — a yin process, no less. I have lots to learn and experience, but I am beginning to understand the ebb and flow a little better.
Giving in to my yin self is actually very difficult. I’m competitive by nature and by nurture, so letting go of some of the ingrained yang tendencies has proven to be a process in itself.
And for those who didn’t hear — I had my first deskgasm! YAY! Imagine my surprise while I’m working, minding my own business, and BAM! A spontaneous, deliciously powerful orgasm hits out of nowhere. I wasn’t even thinking anything sexual! It just hit me — a blended orgasm, complete with explosion and full body waves that I didn’t have to lift a finger to produce. Wowzers!
Also, I miss the heartgasms I was experiencing a few weeks ago. I finally had gotten used to that constant buzzing in my chest wall 24/7 for those 2 weeks — and the feeling like there was a part of me floating about a foot out in front of me — my aura? my chi? — and my heart constantly wanting to jump out of my ribcage and join whatever that energy field was in front of me. Now I miss that it’s not there except after orgasms. But I can’t wait for more!
Aroused and yinning,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
DailyOJ 12-13-11: Vaginal Waves of Pleasure
December 13, 2011
I did my 20 minute protocol today, and I think I did it correctly. I talked with Jack on Sunday and had my Key Sound checked. Like all things, it’s a work in progress, but I think I’m doing it better. I also did the touching/caressing part of the protocol better — now that I realize I’m only supposed to be doing the caress just before the inhalation of the sound (and not feelin’ my self up the whole time). Though, I must say, it’s not nearly as much fun!
The only sensations I noticed in between the sounds was a throbbing in my vulva/vagina (yes, the whole thing beating like a heart).
So afterward, I did a solo sex session, and noticed again how I haven’t been feeling my female prostate as much, but on the trip to orgasm, it’s like she kicks in, and lets me know she’s there. At one point, I stopped the circles on my clit and really noticed the prostate then, but still went back to clit stim because it felt weird NOT to.
Long story short, I didn’t have the explosion orgasm so common to clitoral orgasms, but the waves of vaginal / prostate / She Spot orgasm were awesome. No, truly — they were amazing! So maybe I’ll try the lack of clit stim again and see if that increases the orgasm even more. And no, I’m not chasing orgasms. I’m “allowing” and trying to be more Yin… I’m just experimenting along the way.
I felt really strong contractions for more than a half hour afterward, and I still feel the throbbing (echoes?). My chest wall is vibrating as I type this now (almost 2 hours after), but I don’t know if that qualifies as a heartgasm. So I think my KSMO journey is cumming along swimmingly…
Aroused and buzzing,
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
OpEd: FUCKING CHEROKEE MEN (AND OTHER PEOPLE OF COLOR)
OpEd: THE FACE OF ORGASM: IS YOUR WOMAN FAKING ORGASMS OR NOT?
DailyOJ: ALLOWING AND RECEIVING
Chapter 6 of “Confessions of an Aroused Woman” Now Available as .PDF!
Reviews on Amazon.com:
Refreshingly, realistically, erotic May 31, 2012 ~ By B. Lee
An open door…May 31, 2012 ~ By Saloonsinger
One of my Twitter followers wrote on 09-03-12:
Purchase Chapter 6 for only $3.00… to tide you over until the entire book is ready for publication! Be sure to type in your email address, so I can email the .PDF to you.
‘ CONFESSIONS OF AN AROUSED WOMAN’ – CHAPTER 6 ~ $3.00
When you click through to the PayPal side, be sure to type in your email address in the comment area, so I can email you the .PDF. You will receive it within 12 hours of PayPal notifying me of your purchase.
Thank you! And I really hope you enjoy it. MUAH!! xoxo
trish
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September 4, 2012 | Categories: 2012 elections, activism, awakening, bedroom, blended orgasm, breasts, clit, comments, cosmic orgasm, DailyOJ, energy raising, erotica, explosion, female ejaculation, female prostate, fingering, full body waves, multiple orgasms, MyTweets, NEWS, OpEd, penetration, penis, porn, reclaiming sexuality, sacred sex, sacred space, sensual massage, sex positions, she spot, soul, soulgasm, spirit, Tantra, touch, vagina, vulva, women's sexuality, yoni | Leave A Comment »