Arts, Activism, Awakening in Mind, Body, & Spirit

female prostate

Review: “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure” – A How-To Video for Women to Enjoy Giving Head


Oral Sex for Her Video Training FellatioI recently saw the initial release of a new how-to video series, “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure”.  I would have assumed that such a women-centric company like OneTaste would have created a cunnilingus how-to, but they have done the unexpected by creating a video that explains how a woman can receive pleasure from giving a man fellatio.  I can heartily recommend this video to any man or woman who wants to learn a little more about how women can truly enjoy giving oral sex.

Now, this is certainly not news to me — I orgasm just thinking about giving a man head.  Spontaneous orgasms just hit.  I love the feel of my mouth being full with a man’s penis.  The taste, the smell, the texture.  I absolutely love it.  And the truth is, when a woman gives great head, she owns the man.  Seriously.

Whenever I give a man oral sex, I always tell him emphatically, “Lay back.  This is for me.  If you enjoy it, that’s a side benefit.”  I have always loved giving fellatio, or as I call it lingam puja (penis worship).  Even in the midst of a miserable marriage, I still loved giving oral sex.  I figured out that giving him a blow job once per week meant he didn’t complain about bills.  And while I loathe the term “blow job”, that time of my life is the only time oral sex felt like a job — a chore, and yet I still loved the act of fellatio itself, even though I detested the man attached to the penis.

The concept behind the “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure” video and corresponding training materials hinges on the fact that women can indeed enjoy giving men oral sex.  If she doesn’t want to do oral sex or has a negative perspective due to bad experiences, then she might want to see how much pleasure she can have from it.  The first step in a woman receiving pleasure while giving head is realizing that the woman has to want to give head.

Now, before you cry, “That’s male bullshit!”, I understand if you haven’t always (or ever) enjoyed oral sex.  Cultural and religious demonization of sexuality, women, women’s bodies, and women’s sexual pleasure have brainwashed society for over 1,700 years, since the rise of imperial patriarchal religion crushed the remaining woman-centic goddess cultures.  Women have absorbed this anti-sex and anti-pleasure propaganda, compounded by bullying about how women smell “down there”, and the ludicrous farce of how women are portrayed in most porn.  Erotica is woman-centric and respectful of women.  And we are a new generation of women who love ourselves and love sexuality without shame or apology!

Some things you will LOVE about this how-to video:

  • It’s only $8.
  • The woman is not a size 2.
  • Her breasts are real.
  • The man is UNcircumcised!!!  Yes, a real, natural, intact penis!!!  Woo-hoo!!!

In fact, she almost apologizes that, at the beginning, his penis is soft.  So allow me to say for once and for-fucking-all — the SOFT penis is a marvelous thing!  In Tantra, we have several nifty positions and activities for the soft penis, including soft entry penetration (yes, the man enters the vagina with a soft penis) and lingam massage, which is best done with a soft penis to help direct energy flow up into the torso, arms, and legs, rather than out the tip of the penis (helps with ejac control, too).  So starting an oral session with a soft penis is fantastic because you get to experience how his body feels as the penis changes in size and hardness.  (You control him.)

Back to the video….  She talks about her experience in learning to love oral sex.  She also tells the good, bad, and ugly of what intense oral sex does for the woman, including the “furrowed brow” which is a tale-tell sign a woman is in orgasm, the deep-throating technique, as well as the steady stream of “snot” from her nose and the “spot” in the woman’s mouth that triggers orgasms throughout her body.  Yes, you will absolutely see the “snot” running out of her nose.  Yes, you see her crying several times from the intensity of the orgasms.  I’ve written plenty of times here about how the more gut-wrenching my crying is directly equates to the intensity of my orgasm(s).  Crying is an integral part of my orgasmic experience, so it’s great to hear other women talking about this topic as well.

As for the “snot”, I would like to clarify that she is not referring to the thick, gross “snot” of a sinus infection, but rather the normal sinus muscosa you have draining down the back of your throat 24/7.  This mucosa is a necessary moisturizing lubricant for the back of the pharynx (very back of the mouth, top of the throat).  In fact, when you don’t have this normal nasal drip, you may experience a dry cough or have clogged sinuses.  So this mucosa is what she has dripping from her nose — but that’s okay!  Vaginal fluids are also a type of mucosa (derived from the plasma from the blood in the vaginal walls’ muscular tissue), and men LOVE lapping it up!  So let the snot run!  After all, when your mouth is full of penis, the only way the snot can go is out your nose (or your ear, but that would take a miracle of physics).

Another thing you’re likely to notice in her technique is that she is actually quite still — remember me talking about slow sex?  In Tantra, there is a technique of motionless sex — yes, motionless!  The oral technique as shown in the video will help any woman out there who’s gotten whiplash bobbing her head up and down while giving a blow job.  (Again, most porn is ridiculous).  If you want to learn some groovy info and techniques, watch this how-to.

I can definitely recommend this affordable $8 video that can introduce you to the amazing world of women’s pleasure as instructed in “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure”.  I give my full approval of the information in this video and all the products they have.  THEY LOVE WOMEN!  And when you’ve seen it, come back here, and leave a comment telling me what YOU think of the video!

trish


DailyOJ 08-25-13, Part 2: Prostate Awakening, U-Orgasms, & a Force of Nature


woman-arching-back-during-orgasm-sqRead Part 1.

Today is Sunday, and I’m alone in the house.  I lounge around in bed, having my nipple orgasms and the occasional soft-touch clit orgasms (as I like to do on weekends).  The weather has been riddled with thunderstorms for a month now, and the steady rhythm of falling rain makes for perfect lazing around and dozing off and on in my comfy bed.

By 11 a.m., I figure the neighbors are all out doing their thing, and it’s probably safe to have a full session.   After a few more nipple-gasms and clit-gasms, I can feel the juices pushing against my inner labia wanting to spill out.  Instead of opening my labia with my fingers, I opt for some vaginal exercises instead.  Various squeezing and rolling of the muscles of the vagina (no, not the PC muscles), I have some small vaginal orgasms, due to the walls of my vagina brushing against each other (including the area of the She Spot).

Now, my juices are spilling out on their own, wetting the tops of my thighs, and I can feel my juices sliding down my buttocks.  Slipping my fingers inside, my prostate is so swollen, I know I have to have a couple of climax orgasms first if I am to get my cyberskin toy inside.   Yes, I want a full session.

(Side note:  Something I figured out along the way in the past couple of months was that I couldn’t do some “foreplay” stimulation inside and then insert the cyberskin god.  The last couple of times I tried that, it hurt.  I’ve realized that while my prostate is horny and swollen, let her have a couple of climaxes first, rest for 5 to 15 minutes, then go for the big toy.  Otherwise, he doesn’t fit — a lesson perhaps for others who have trouble accommodating a large penis.)

I let my fingers play all around my prostate, which has been awakening again thanks to my orgasm training and not allowing stress to rule my life.  My prostate’s changes in texture during various levels of arousal is incredible.  I can tell just where I am in my arousal by which tendrils of my prostate are “poking” through the anterior vaginal wall.   It feels like putting your finger inside a pin cushion — you can feel the pins poking your finger (but this doesn’t hurt, of course).

With the awakening of my prostate, the barest touch brings a sudden hit of pleasure that is right there at the boundary of pleasure and pain.  For a few days now, she’s been waking from her stress-induced slumber; and every time I go to the bathroom, the urination orgasms get stronger.  They start out as almost painful but not quite — and since I know this process, I know what I’m experiencing.  There is no actual pain, and the key is NOT to clench UP on the urinary muscles but to relax and release them — almost pushing down and out, which makes the U-orgasms stronger (and even more awesome).  I can experience 2 or 3 climaxes each time I go to the bathroom.  After each time, I notice the water in the toilet is cloudy.  The stronger the urination climaxes, the cloudier the water.  Again, knowing what’s happening is important as pain during urination and “cloudy” urine can be a sign of a urinary tract infection.  But again, there isn’t any pain — just lots of multiples pleasure, and the cloudiness is from the prostate, which creates creamy lube — vaginal fluid is clear.

I do my both-hands-on stim — 2 fingers of my left hand inside with my right hand on my external clit.  This feels amazing, and it goes on for about 15 minutes.  I can tell I’ve slipped the gear for climax and gone straight into the higher aroused state, which can last for a half hour, an hour, or longer, just depends on when my body can manage a climax at that point… or if my wrists and shoulders give out.

Not really wanting to spend an hour on this with no guarantee of a climax (though lots of orgasms are happening!), I decide to get out my glass toy.  The glass toy does the trick.  Reaching the exact spot of my She Spot is a little difficult sometimes — she moves around depending on how aroused I am and how swollen my internal erectile tissues are (and the layers of vaginal muscles pushing in).  This is the main reason men have trouble locating and keeping track of the “G-spot” — SHE MOVES! :-)

The glass toy has become an integral part of my sexual/sensual routine.  The glass toy is not a penis “replacement,” as it isn’t shaped like a penis — more like a really strong finger that can reach up inside to the spots I can’t, even up to the A-spot, though I’m concentrating on my prostate to keep her awakening/training on schedule.

The climax with the glass toy is stunningly glorious, and better yet, emotional!  I associate my climax orgasms with a deep emotional connection — just like I need my sex — and since I had not cried after a climax in about two months, this was a welcome return to my orgasms as I know them and love them.

I am satiated and assume I’ll just lay back, maybe doze off, enthralled in the bliss of orgasms and a multiple climax.  After about 10 minutes, I think, “Why not try the cyberskin and see if he fits?”  Agreeing with myself (as I often do), I reach for him and apply some of my favorite lube (I always use lube with toys — it’s just not the same as skin on skin).  I take a deep breath, and press the tip of my most favorite toy to my vaginal opening, and on my exhale, I try to slide him in.  I get the tip in, and it stings a little as it always does — darn horny prostate!  :-)  I breathe again, and on the exhale try pushing him in a little further.  I can feel him passing through the opening of my pubic bone, stretching me to my max.  Slowly bringing him a little further in, I start crying.  It feels so amazing, I literally start crying and having orgasms.  And I’m not moving him!  This has only happened once before, so I wasn’t completely surprised… just pleasantly surprised… and so awestruck by the emotion as well as the physical and subtle body sensations coursing through my body.

I move him slowly for several minutes — he felt amazing — but I wasn’t sure how long I could last in that orgasm stupor, so I sped up the thrusting a bit, and that sent me into orgasms.  I speed up further, and I’m soon crying even more from the pleasure.  I thrust him as fast as I can, and I’m off in another level of orgasm I’d missed for the past 2 months.  When the ultimate climaxes started, I am in such a state: crying, orgasming, and moaning sounds that are practically howls of rapture.  My climaxes are not localized to the clitoris; they are full-body and go upward and outward not downward.  I am in vertigo and floating.  This is where I love to be.  I am home.

I keep the climaxes going as long as I can — until my hands absolutely must fly up over my head, and so they do.  By this point my crying is deep, wracking sobs, my knees up pulled up to my chest, and my hands up above me, fingers splayed.

I’m sure anyone watching this might be a little freaked out.  :-)  But female orgasm is a powerful force of Nature.  And I love being a force of Nature.   )O(

Aroused and powerful,

trish


DailyOJ 06-30-13, Part 2: Prostate Awakening … Again …


nude-painting-woman-reclining-looking-outRead Part 1.

It’s late…. and I’m later writing this than I had anticipated…. mainly because I’ve spent the past few hours dealing with the feelings in my vagina and surrounding tissues as my prostate does her thing, in yet another awakening ritual…. her third major awakening in the past 22 months.

I am so glad to be experiencing this again… As I wrote in my last post, I’ve done no practice at all for 4 months, and my body has maintained what I had attained (thankfully!).  The past couple of days of just really focusing on my Tantra work and my upcoming orgasm training, I’ve felt the beginnings of my prostate stirring to life for yet another round of rocking-my-universe.

Let me be clear.  She is always awake.  Just because I don’t write about her or purposely “train” for prostate/vaginal orgasms right now doesn’t mean they don’t happen.  THEY DO.  This morning in fact, just three gentle strokes of my finger inside (just 1 knuckle deep — the prostate is right there at the opening), and I was off in orgasmland.  This NEVER happened before I had my first prostate awakening.  In fact, getting to a vaginal orgasm would always take at least an hour and sometimes up to 90 minutes to achieve — i.e., stimulating the “G-spot” with no external clit stimulation.  But now, 3 little, gentle strokes, and I’m arching back in orgasm, moaning, and breathless, and stay that way as the waves rock me while my genitals and legs quiver for many minutes afterward.

Last night, she was really going, and tonight, I can barely sit in my chair…. I’ve had to get up and walk around just to process the amazing feelings coursing through my body.

Meanwhile, I was responding to some comments on another blog — another reason I’m behind on writing on my own blog :-) , and reading those men’s comments — men’s clueless, clueless comments about women, our bodies, and our sex drive WHILE I’m having these awakenings and CANNOT sit still because of them, I had a thought…. Why not make a prostate awakening course?

So here’s what I’m gonna do.  I will create a small video course on awakening your female prostate and post it here or on my website.  Women NEED to know what they’re missing (IF they’re missing out on the amazingness of their prostate).

And maybe some men will get it, too, because the men of this world certainly need to have a better understanding of women’s vaginal orgasmic response…. well… the straight men do. :-D

Aroused and dancing in my chair and around the room,

trish


RADIO: Trish Causey Hosts a LIVE AskTrish Show on Female Sexuality


Nude Woman Beneath Orange Chiffon Sheer OrganzaTonight on ArousedWoman Radio with Trish Causey, I tackle the subject that is the source of my awakening and the raison d’etre for ArousedWoman(TM) — Female Sexuality!

TUNE IN at 9:00 p.m. ET to hear Trish Causey Hosts a LIVE AskTrish Show on Female Sexuality.

Just a few of my topics tonight:

  • A few readers’ comments and questions submitted via my AskTrish page
  • The perception of women’s sexuality in society and religion
  • Why women’s bodies are still considered overtly sexual and not plain ol’ human
  • Double standards in TV and media between men’s bodies and women’s bodies
  • FEMALE MASTURBATION!!!!!!!!!!
  • What women want from sex, and HOW we want our sex!

Listeners can CALL IN with your questions or comments by dialing (347) 884-8792 or calling in to the show via Skype — click the BLUE SKYPE ICON on AW Radio’s LIVE page.  You can also post questions and comments in AW Radio’s LIVE page chat room (opens 10 minutes before the start of the show).

I’m really looking forward to this one! :-)

trish

Recommended Books:


Take #ArousedWoman’s Orgasm Questionnaire!


Chakra-aura-orgasm-energy-systemHey, everybody!

As I look ahead to my online orgasm training workshop, I am conducting an Orgasm Questionnaire and would love to have as many readers participate as possible!

This questionnaire should take about 30 minutes to fill out, and there are no wrong answers. It’s also pretty nosy, so brace yourself!

Filling out this questionnaire in NO WAY obligates you to participate in the workshop. But the questions are geared to those who would be interested in taking my online orgasm workshop this summer.

No part of the questionnaire will be published without your express permission. However, some of the responses may be used ANONYMOUSLY in a post here on ArousedWomanBlog.com, based on the statistical information that may be of use to my readers.

NOTE: Some of these responses are required, so look carefully at each question. (I hope you’ll answer each one!)

I appreciate you taking this Orgasm Questionnaire so I can better understand my readers’ sex lives and orgasm habits.

Thanks!

trish

ArousedWoman’s Orgasm Questionnaire:
© 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

ANSWER EVERY QUESTION EVEN IF IT ISN’T FOR YOUR GENDER, or if it DOESN’T APPLY just put N/A. The form will NOT submit if a question is not answered (blame WordPress).





























































Review: Immortal Jade Glass G-Spot Dildo 10-Inch


The newest addition to my collection of toys is the Immortal Jade Glass G-Spot Dildo 10-Inch. While I really like the glass prostate toy I already have, the Jade caught my eye and has now won my heart… or at least, my prostate’s undying devotion.

My main problem with most toys (of any material) is the lack of a handle.  Knowing my vagina will lengthen to about 5 inches at the absolute most, I thought the Jade would give me plenty of length to hold on to for ease of use.

Choosing to get the Jade was based on several factors.  The toy is curved, so it would definitely stimulate my She Spot (what I call the G-Spot) as well as the rest of my female prostate.  The end is bulbous so it covers more surface area than a fingertip but is still smaller than a penis head.  The glass is super easy to clean and keep hygienic, and the Jade is also suitable for anal play.  One major reason for getting the Jade is to finally achieve full female ejaculation.

The Jade is slightly heavier than I’d thought it would be, but using it does not wear out my wrist or my shoulder.  Due to the curve, holding the toy at a specific angle is not necessary — it reaches the prostate on its own.  The Jade is only 1.5 inches at its widest point — the bulbous balls at the end of the “shaft.”  I couldn’t get the fist “ball” inside me, but feeling it at the opening of my vagina felt great.

The shaft has perpendicular glass ridges that seemed to stimulate my perineal sponge while the tip worked my prostate.  Nothing can replace the feeling of being filled by a penis (or my new penis toy), but the Jade seems to hit several spots simultaneously.

The three times I’ve used the Jade have been deliciously wonderful experiences which I’ll write up soon in a DailyOJ post.  I can say that the orgasms seemed to keep going, and the sounds I made were… unique.  When the orgasms began, I didn’t throw my arms over my head as soon as I usually do, meaning I could keep using the Jade to stimulate more orgasms.  For the after-O’s, I felt a strange “rippling” effect in my prostate that I don’t remember feeling before — ever.  As the full-body orgasmic waves kept hitting all over, microcosmic waves rippled and rippled at my prostate.  While I have not ejaculated in gushing form, I did did produce a lot of fluid during the session that flowed out continuously from the mid-way point onward.

For a prostate toy, the Jade is an excellent choice for many reasons.  Frankly, I can’t think of any other prostate or glass toy I will need for a while.  Perfect for the male prostate or female prostate, vaginal or anal play, the Immortal Jade Glass G-Spot 10-Inch is a great choice for your next toy.

trish

Recommended Products:
 

Links:


DailyOJ 03-01-13, Part 2: New Toy Brings a Clear Vision


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

Cernunnos-blue-face-hands-edited*Read Part 1.*

The fourth time with the new toy was a mixed, weird, confusing experience.  Suffice it to say, this guy requires lube — lots of lube.  I had already done a blended orgasm with my new glass toy (more on that later) to prime my vaginal opening, get the juices flowing, start stretching the vaginal muscles inside, etc.  As before, the head took a couple of tries to fully enter, and as the head/corona passed my prostate, I felt a slight sting, but it wasn’t as bad as the first few times.  I thought, “Great, I’m adjusting to him.”  Then feeling the shaft enter, I was breathless again at the feeling of being so very filled and stretched.

Since I’d started my session early, around 10:30 a.m., I felt no rush to finish with Bob.  In fact, over the next couple of hours, I would do a round of sliding him in and out slowly for about 15 minutes, then pull him out, and relax in a blissful stupor for another 20 to 30 minutes, having nipple orgasms, sheet orgasms, clit and spontaneous O’s, then I’d reach for Bob again for another slow and easy go of it.

Each time, I did not bring myself to climax with Bob, just enjoyed the orgasms from the slow and steady pace and the occasional hard and fast thrusting and pulling out to float in that bliss for a while, then starting it all over again.

Around 2 p.m., I began again, knowing I was wet from the other orgasms, I didn’t lube Bob this time.  I noticed, he wasn’t moving as smoothly as he had before.  I needed some lube.  Then Stupid Me showed up and totally screwed this whole experience up.  The feelings in my vagina were the same as when I endured friction sex while married.  Though my ex-Asshole isn’t nearly this wide, he hated me getting too wet.  This dry, friction feeling was then “familiar,” and being a little lazy, I thought I’d just put up with it because I really wanted the great orgasms I’d had the other few times with this toy.

Every time Smart Me said, “Man, I need lube,” Stupid Me overruled that inner voice with, “You put up with it when you were married, put up with it now and finish.”  As the friction got to be too much, Smart Me won the debate, and I put a little bit of lube on the toy and re-inserted.  I felt immediate stinging, more stinging, then being filled by the shaft, and then a surge of heat — not in a good way.  I continued on, now that he was properly lubed, imagining my Dream Man, and long story short, I finished.  Yes, the orgasm was great… but it was… weird… but it was beautiful… but weird.

I felt a strange emotion — yes, I cried, but there was something else.  During that last bit, I had a realization of just what this toy represented for me.  The images and feelings conjured during this session were so intensely powerful, I instantly knew who he was.  The experience had become emotional during the session, and now, afterward, I wanted to give him a name, a sacred name.  And I did.  And I cried some more.  I lay there for a while in my reverie, feeling a new awareness of completeness.

Knowing I needed to get up, I realized my fingers felt a bit strange, so I looked at them.  My hands were covered in blood.  I wasn’t on my period.   I looked at the toy, and he was bloody, too.  I got up and went to the bathroom and opened my legs up to the full-length mirror.  My labia and thighs were bloody, and I had an immediate flashback to when I was raped at 21, after which I bled for 4 days.  I remembered a couple other times I bled a little after friction sex.

As it so happened with this fourth time with this toy, I bled that night and the next day, but that was it.  I have not noticed any blood or change in vaginal discharge.  I never felt any pain, aside from the uncomfortableness in the moment of the “friction sex” before I re-lubed the toy.

In fact, in the couple days since, today now being 03-03-13, I have enjoyed all my usual orgasms and my new gentle-touch prostate orgasms.  Everything is functioning perfectly.

Which leads me to an esoteric interpretation… In the very emotional moments of that last part of the session, I had a very clear vision of my Dream Man.  He was absolutely clear to me.  He is a feeling and an energy.  I knew him so well, I called him a sacred name for the very first time, and I subsequently bestowed that name on the toy who is his physical representation for me.

Blood has a life force.  Blood used to be an important part of rituals and taking oaths.  To this day, Christians symbolically ingest the blood of Jesus when they participate in the ritualized cannibalistic practice of Communion/Eucharist.  As a pagan witch, considering who and what this energy/feeling began to represent — my Dream Man, I’m not surprised that blood would have manifested as a sort of initiation with this new, clear vision — a consummation, as it were.

And yes, I know I sound crazy — I’m an artist, I always sound a bit crazy.  Most people are so keyed in to the physical side of sex or climax, they miss subtleties of energy or awakenings that may be present.  This vision I saw is no different than imagining a scene in one’s mind to help the arousal process along, but the difference here is that he appeared to me, and I knew him instantly.

Esoteric interpretations aside, I will have to see how using “Bob” (no, that’s not his sacred name!) goes tomorrow or the next day.  I did not bleed the other 3 times, so I’m hoping that with plenty of lube, Bob and I will be hunky-dorey in our future rendezvous sessions.

Seriously, though, this experience was powerful for me, and though the blood had me a bit worried for that day, I’m hoping it was just a fluke… or an initiation.

Aroused and pondering the possibilities,

trish

Recommended Products:
 

Links:


DailyOJ 03-01-13, Part 1: Introducing My Newest Toy to My Inner Sanctum


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

yoni-vulva-labia-iris-flower-peachRecently, I wrote a mild-mannered review of one of my newest additions to my orgasm accoutrements, the Adam PleasureSkin Cock.  I tried to keep the review on point, but I wanted to elaborate a bit here.  I’ve now used this toy 4 times, so I can adequately recommend this guy with some hindsight and careful considerations — though, I still whole-heartedly recommend this toy for those who are experienced large toy/large penis aficionados.

The toy, which I’ll just call “Bob,” is made of “PleasureSkin” and has an insertible length of 6.5″ and a width of 2″.

I was concerned that 6.5″ would not seem like that much as the shortest real penis I’ve ever had was 8″.  Noting that in the Amazon reviews, a few women (and a couple men) mentioned how long it took to get the thing in, I definitely went slowly and used more than my usual amount of lube.  I also spent extra time beforehand on yoni massage to warm up the skin around my vagina’s opening since a large penis can stretch the flesh uncomfortably (read:  excruciating pain!).

The conical head slid in part way, then stopped.  I brought him out, then tried again, giving an extra little push.  There was slight pain — more like a stinging sensation — at the anterior wall where my prostate is.  My first thought was, “I’m surprised the pain isn’t at the fourchette (the “bottom” of the vaginal opening), so I must have done enough yoni massage — good.”  My next thought was, “Anything that upsets my prostate gets thrown in the dumpster.”

It took 3 very slow tries to get the head in, each time stinging.  Once the head was in, the shaft did not have the same effect on my prostate, so I proceeded.  I made the mental note that a prostate-based orgasm before using this guy might not be ideal since my prostate swells with fluid and the tendrils of the prostate “poke through” into the vagina during arousal.  (That feels much better than it sounds!)

Once in, I was taken aback by just how full I felt.  Like other reviewers, I thought the sheer width of this thing had issued me a challenge, and I was determined to win.  It took a good 10 minutes of repeatedly slow, methodical entry and withdrawal for me to get this thing even a few inches in.  And even after using “Bob” 4 times now, I haven’t gotten him more than about 4.5″ inside.  (Yes, I felt like less of a woman because I couldn’t take any more of him in.  I must have more issues to deal with.  Dammit.)

The width is absolutely delicious.  In fact, just thinking about how this thing feels inside…. I… I………. I……… OH MY FUCKING GOD, YES!  This is the most wonderful-feeling toy I have ever tried!!!  Even more than the feeling of the toy inside was the feeling of the toy between my fingers of my right hand as I slid him in and out with my left hand.  This toy absolutely feels like a real penis to the touch.  Even running my fingertips over the balls was so incredibly familiar, I began having a surreal moment in which I didn’t have to imagine a man in my man’s eye, this thing made the man come to life in my body and my mind.  To say nothing of the sensation of the balls against my butt… delicious!

I moved my hand over my clit, and she was swollen like I’ve never felt her — my entire mons pubis seemed more swollen than ever before.  With my hand on top of my mons, I could actually feel the different parts of the toy as he slid in and out — especially on the out.  Bringing him all the way out with a little “pop” sound, my clit and mons pubis felt the same as when they’re normally aroused.  Once he was back in, she was so swollen again, I was amazed on how full she felt from the outside.  I tried to focus on both feelings at once — my full clit and the gentle push past my labia as he re-entered… I couldn’t focus on both.  It felt too good to focus on any one thing, actually.

The first time I used him, I experienced a huge climax.  I was left emotional, crying, panting, writhing, back arching, legs kicking out, until another round of orgasms hit, and I was moaning all over again.  Finally, I couldn’t maneuver this thing anymore, and my hands went up over my head, and more emotion, more crying, breathless panting, and uncontrollable writhing.  Then began the after-O’s, a series of progressively smaller orgasms that usually last about a half hour that eventually taper off to simple hip movements and glutes clenching, until even that subsides, and I’m in a type of vertigo bliss.

The second time I used this guy, I made the mistake of changing my hand position in the middle of the hard thrusting — instead of just holding it, I tried an over-hand hold to lessen the weight on my wrist.  Big mistake.  Changing technique in the middle usually spells disaster for arousal, and sure enough, I felt the instant drain of sensation as my nerve receptors switched gears.  It took a couple minutes holding it the regular way to get back to that level of arousal and then finish. I made the mental note not to make that mistake of changing in mid-stream again.  The climax was fantastic, though.

The third time I used Bob, I spent over 15 minutes just moving him in and out very, very slowly.  I cannot describe how sublime this felt.  (I don’t think most men appreciate the slow approach or slow sex, which is a darn shame.  This was heavenly.)  My inner labia grew even more sensitive to the feel of him as I progressed, until the nerve endings in my labia were all lit up, giving extra sensation to the motion.  But he was getting heavy in my hand, and I knew I wanted to finish fast and hard.  I almost hated speeding up because I could have stayed in that “neutral” zone for hours, however the bliss was electric and emotionally stirring.

The fourth time with him was a mixed experience… and completely unexpected…

* Read Part 2. *

trish

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DailyOJ 01-23-13, Part 1: Knees Up, Glass Toy Orgasms


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
Nude Woman Masturbating Solo Self-Love in ChairBack on my own during the days, I have taken to using my glass toy (which I have not yet named :-) ), along with trying a slightly different position for my legs, and getting some great results — probably helped with my breast massage regimen and breath+sound work I’ve borrowed from Tantra and Kundalini practices.

For my orgasm sessions, I begin with just laying back and relaxing, breathing normally, letting my mind let go of the thoughts that are still buzzing across my conscious self. After 10 or 15 minutes — I don’t time it, I move on when I feel ready and mind-full (of nothing!). I start the relaxation breaths, adding in the occasional “Aum.” This lasts for maybe 15 minutes.

I add in sensual massage. Usually, I’m careful not to touch my nipples or I’ll start having energy orgasms immediately. I’ve found that if I start the massage on my clit, it lessens the sensitivity on my nipples (slightly, and only temporarily), but gentle, barely-there caresses of my clit and labia are simply luscious.

I may move to my nipples (more often than not, yes, I do) for some amazing stealth orgasms, or I’ll lightly brush my fingertips across my left hip which triggers jolts of energy up my leg to my left nipple, hardening her immediately. My right hip is not as quick to react and the energy is more subtle, but my right nipple still hardens into a pucker, reaching up to a point.

Many times recently, I have stayed there — just doing the lightest touch of my skin, my nipples, clit, and the inner and outer labia. Barely brushing my fingers over my clit shaft starts full-body orgasms that have my legs coming up, my back arched, and my head back facing the pillows, and I’m left breathless. I can keep these going for a while. These kinds of orgasms are different than “traditional” or manual orgasms in that these don’t take ANY work :-), and they’re like riding clouds of energy, with energy waves hitting my body like water crashing onto the seashore. I’m energized by the orgasms rather than being worn out after my usual blended orgasms (which rock my world but are exhausting).

Pressing my fingertips into my outer labia, I can feel the thick, corded bands of the PC muscles. Barely grazing my outer labia, they feel like velvet, warm and throbbing. My fingertips barely whisper across my inner labia which are still reaching outward at this point — they will lie open soon. This touch can start labia-gasms, and I can feel the texture of the inside of the inner labia change as the bloodflow to the tissue increases.

I’m still new to the direct, purposeful stimulation of my U-spot, the erectile tissue around the urethral opening. This area is usually stimulated without intention during blended/penetrative orgasms, but I am now focusing on the U-spot to help encourage my journey into female ejaculation.

Bringing my knees up to my torso definitely shortens the vagina, and it makes using the glass dildo easier on my wrist due to its curve. This makes for a wonderful stimulation of my prostate. Since the glass toy is narrower and shorter than my purple silicone friend Sparkles, it also feels more like a directional finger than a “toy” or penis substitute. I can definitely feel the tip and side as it rubs across certain spots (yes, the female prostate has more “spots” than just the G-spot/She Spot). Moving the glass toy back and forth, curving up at the side ensures the side of the prostate are stimulated as well — and this feels delicious.

Stimulation of the prostate, and most areas inside the vagina, are not as “pin-point” as stimulating the clit, but the vagus nerve and auxiliary nerves definitely make up for it by creating a feeling of a bubbling, churning cauldron of arousal energy that is ever-building, ever-growing, expanding outward through me and upward into the torso and heart chakra.

I consciously push out when stimulating the prostate directly — contrary to what “popular” opinion says to do with the stupid Kegel exercises (which actually inhibit vaginal orgasm). I LOVE the feelings that overtake me — like I suddenly have to go to the bathroom, like my insides are about to fall out — because I know my prostate is about to hit her stride and bubble over into full-body orgasms. I push out and remind myself to breathe — sometimes I catch myself and realize I’m holding my breath. There is a fetish of choking for some few-second orgasm that is ridiculous and dangerous. Oxygen FEEDS orgasms — breathe, breathe deeply, breathe fully, taking the breath into my belly and down into my pelvis…  Breathing is essential to life and to orgasms… though saying “life” followed by “orgasms” seems redundant….

The double layers of muscles that line the vagina begin to rock and roll, and I manipulate them to keep them strong — so I don’t lose my skill of giving “vaginal blowjobs” (moving the vaginal walls in such a way as to give the penis the feeling of being sucked very powerfully).

Read * Part 2 *  here.

trish

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Anatomy: Female Ejaculation and Woman’s Ability to Conceive


Female Ejaculation - Prostate Orgasm Up CloseI came across a great site about yoni and all things Tantric for women and emotionally secure men.  The blog is by a Tantrika/Dakini who is the “real deal,” not one of the so-called “urban tantra” bullshit artists.  However, the following comment one man left on her blog shows just how little is still known about women’s anatomy and sexuality in popular culture thanks to women’s sexuality being vilified by misogynist religion and ignored in Western medicine and academia, while superstitions and myths are still rampant.

(Note:  Misspellings are left in.)

i am just curious about one thing if stimulation is done aftifically with fingers on G spot its surely making pleasure for woman but does it keep woman healthy enough to be fertile and gave birth to kids after such an act. my question is can woman still conceive or become pregnant if she is ejaculating with fingers on G spot or it odes affect its reproductive system?

(XXXXXX)

I just posted this response, and so far it hasn’t been approved — fingers crossed, it will be. :-)

Dear (XXXXXX),

You seem to be more concerned with your masculinity and virility than the woman’s pleasure. Your patriarchal, misogynist ego will be pleased to know that the female prostate’s ability to induce full-body/wave orgasms and secrete prostatic fluid has nothing to do with the viability of the woman’s eggs. If you’re concerned about being able to conceive, go get your sperm count checked before assuming any conception problem’s are the woman’s fault.

trish

Seriously.  A woman ejaculating isn’t birth control… If it were, almost every woman between the ages of 15 and 50 would be drenching the sheets — every day, twice a day!  (But please don’t let the GOP Republicans think it’s birth control ’cause they’d just criminalize that, too.)

Guys… female ejaculation is a beautiful thing.  The biggest concern you should have with helping a woman ejaculate is can you drink it all up so her love nectar isn’t wasted.

I’ve covered this all before, but let’s go over the basics of female ejaculation:

  • All women should be capable of ejaculating.  Fear of urinating is what usually stops a woman from ejaculating even if the stimulation techniques are correct.  (Other  issues that can contribute to a woman not ejaculating include being dehydrated or the emotional/psychological issues from past sexual trauma.)
  • Female ejaculate is NOT urine.  It is prostatic fluid and mostly glucose, hence its sweet flavor and labeling by the ancients as the “nectar of the gods.”
  • The amount of fluid released will vary from woman to woman — from a couple tablespoons to a couple cups of fluid, and can vary from release to release, even within the same sexual session.
  • If a woman feels pressured by her partner to ejaculate in the first place — much less burst forth a specific amount, this can activate stress hormones and prevent her from getting wet at all — even though vaginal fluid is a different cocktail than prostate fluid.

Are we clear on this?  Women experiencing mind-boggling pleasure is actually healthy  for the woman physically, emotionally, psychologically, as well as sexually.  Loving the vulva and vagina via yoni massage is one of the most beautiful  ways you can show a woman respect sexually.  And, at the risk of making men paranoid in the other direction, being able to help a woman ejaculate is super  manly!

If your woman already ejaculates on her own, ask her to show you how she does it so you can see what  she does and how  she does it.  Don’t help!!!  (Unless she asks you to.)  Just be there to lap up the delicious juices.

trish

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AskTrish: Stop Ejaculating and Have Multiple Orgasms Already


Chakra-aura-orgasm-energy-systemA little something different from the usual AskTrish post

While posting pics on my ArousedWoman Tumblr page, I came across a post on another Tumblr page in which a querent (I’m assuming male) asked:  “when i masturbate and i hit orgasm once i cant have another one why not ? am i doing something wrong ?”  The moderator responded: “no, not everyone is capable of multiple orgasms, that’s just the way it is…”

That is absolutely NOT TRUE — not even for men!

Ejaculating is a reflex, but it is a controllable reflex of the sympathetic nervous system.  Semen is ejected due to contractions by the bulbospongiosus muscle.  On a subtle body/spirit level, ejaculate is comprised of life force energy, and it takes an inordinate about of physical energy to produce and expel ejaculate from the body — hence the reason a guy is usually exhausted and needs a nap afterward.  Ejac expends energy, causing fatigue for the man.

In women, stimulating the clit, which is synonymous to the penis, gives a localized burst of tension release at the clitoris, but any kind of vaginal orgasm (prostate/She Spot, cervical/uterine, AFE, PFE, even perineal sponge) creates full-body waves of bliss that flow and flow and flow, like waves that repeatedly crash against a shore.  The clitoris is wired to the spinal cord via the pudendal nerve, but the vagina’s main nerve is the vagus nerve which bypasses the spinal cord and plugs directly into the brain.

Knowing how the body works physiologically helps in integrating the subtle energy body with the physical body, which leads to orgasms that literally blow your mind and everything you thought you knew about your body or orgasm.  Conjuring orgasm via an energy-based practice with the help of a little anatomy know-how creates orgasm experiences that feel like Big Bang explosions in your core and your head — not localized to just the genitals.

Orgasm is a response of the parasympathetic  nervous system.  Orgasm increases energy.  Many people use climaxing for muscle tension release before bed so they can get sleepy.  However, orgasm in an energy practice gives and expands energy.  From the Greek word, orgasmos, orgasm literally means “to swell.”  Orgasm is NOT the end of a sexual experience but one amazing part of the journey.  The end isn’t even “climax” but bliss, altered states of consciousness (no drugs needed!), awareness, and connection to self, your partner (if applicable), and the Universe.

ALL woman AND men are capable of multiple orgasms — FOR HOURS, days, weeks!  Live your whole life in an orgasmic state of energy bliss… Why not?!

People need to STOP the myths and lies about what is possible in orgasm.  ‘Cause I guaran-damn-tee MOST people have never experienced even an inkling of what orgasm can be.  They grew up jerking off to skin mags and probably learned most of what they know about sex from watching the fakery of porn and memorizing the stupidity of magazine sex quizzes while standing in line at the store.

They should stop giving advice and read my fucking blog already!

trish

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DailyOJ 11-17-12: Mind Noise & Saturday Morning Blended Orgasms


I went to bed late last night — actually, early this morning.  It was after 2:30 a.m. that I finally stopped replying to tweets, took my shower, and got in bed (and replied to some more tweets).  I allowed myself the late night because this morning would be Saturday, and Saturday mornings are my SASO’s and blended O’s time.

This was the experience the other day, but today I encountered mind noise… and yet another reason to not be attached to the outcome… goal-less.

I was doing my hands-on blended O stimulation, and everything felt wonderful.  I didn’t try thinking about Mr. Dream Man, I just focused on my body — the amazing sensations of the arousal, the shaking of my legs, the zinging energy, the heat raising up, my whole body really coming alive after a full night of rest and a long time of spontaneous O’s, nipple-gasms, and gentle clit-gasms just moments before.  Truly wonderful.

Then I reached a certain point of arousal where I seemed to have slipped into neutral.  I wasn’t progressing toward climax, nor was I regressing to less arousal.  I was… stuck…  in neutral gear…

I had marked the time when I started since I’d noticed hands-on blended O’s had started taking a while to experience, sometimes 30 minutes or longer.  Now being stuck in neutral, trying to avoid conscientious time-noting, ego-driven minutes-counting, I was growing frustrated.  The mind noise began.  Should I just stop?  (Too horrible to contemplate.)  Should I try some fantasy?  (Tried.  Failed.)  How long before I’m just totally ego-driving this process?  (I really want to experience the yummy blended orgasms.)  Does that guy outside really have to use a leaf blower in the middle of the day?  Can’t he just use a push-broom or a rake on those leaves?  Jeez….

Being “stuck” in neutral gave me a unique vantage point to observe my body — the changes through the arousal process, the jolts of energy still zinging up my legs, my glutes clenching, my hips rhythmically raising and lowering on the bed.  And perhaps best of all, I was incredibly wet!  My previous fears that my body was experiencing hormonal changes that were affecting my vaginal fluid production were allayed, thanks in no small part to my resumed regimen of chia seeds, fish oil, dark chocolate, and lots of water.  I was ecstatically happy about the incredible amount of juices covering my vulva and upper thighs.

I must have been stuck in neutral for 10 minutes or longer.  My attention kept being drawn to my left hand, the one working my prostate, feeling my hand sliding around on the vaginal and prostate fluids.  My wonder at the physical process occurring sparked a thought… This extended, consistent stimulation of my clit and prostate is one of the hallmarks of arousal that brings about female ejaculation.  I thought on that another few seconds.  If I kept doing exactly this — this left-hand pressure and thrusting on my prostate, this right hand stim of my clit, my wetness, my clenching — I was bound to finally achieve true female ejaculation!  How awesome would that be?!

The moment I had that thought, I could feel my inner clit squeezing like a vice-grip as its blood-filled erectile tissue expanded inward against my vaginal walls.  I knew that feeling was the first cue of impending multiple orgasms.  Except now, I wasn’t ready to orgasm!  I wanted to feel this ejaculation cruise control!  But I didn’t have any towels, and with the colder weather, I had my duvet on me and didn’t want to soak it.  So I resolved myself to probably not ejaculating in one gush at that time — I was satisfied with the rhythmic release of fluid throughout the session.

When the orgasms began, I was mystified by their intensity and power.  That “neutral” gear had served a purpose!  It did something to my body — whether it was solely physical or a mind-body combo — that laid a foundation for the orgasms that literally rocked my world in that moment… for many moments… My whole body was involved in this process — I crunched forward repeatedly, my knees were up, my hips were rocking up toward my hands.  I kept rolling over to my left side, my legs started kicking.  I was making all sorts of weird moans — some lower pitched, some higher, all wild woman.

After I couldn’t use my hands anymore — my arms flew up over my head — my hips and legs were still going.  Without the need for keeping my hands where they were, I rolled back and forth, my back arched, my nipples brushed back and forth against the sheet spurring the nipple-gasms and more back-arching.  I felt the insane throbbing in my labia, my vagina, perineum, anus, energy zaps up and down my legs, all of it signaling an array of delicious orgasms, both body-centric and energy-induced.

As I lay in bed, still somewhat panting from the orgasms, I noticed a strange sensation in my left hand.  Energy was zinging up my fingers, up my hand, and into my arm.  Usually energy comes up my legs or out my left foot (at the ball of my foot).  This was different.  It felt as if my fingers were plugged into an electrical outlet and electrical energy was shooting up my fingers and up my arm to my neck, scalp, and face.  Then I noticed I felt a similar electricity/energy up my right hand and arm.

All in all, this session from start to the end of the orgasms (that I was able to hand stimulate) was 21 minutes.  Absolutely 21 minutes of incredible bliss — and so worth that neutral gear interlude in the middle.  Like a symphony, the “lull” in the middle just laid the groundwork for the crescendo of the last movement, building up to the fireworks at the end.

I laid there, stunned by the awesome power of the experience.  I can only hope that if I again experience that “lull” of neutral gear, I’ll remember this experience and know even that down-swing of the cycle has a purpose.  I’m not broken, my practice is going fine.  And I’m grateful for this experience to amaze in wonder at my body, the rising levels of orgasms possible, and the necessary ebb and flow of the arousal process.

Aroused and cruisin’,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 11-13-12: Reality vs. Fantasy


The past few weeks, I have had issues with blended O’s — the few times I’ve done them (right hand on my clit, left hand stimulating my prostate), it’s either taken a long time — 30 minutes, or I’ve given up and gone for my purple silicone buddy, Sparkles.

Mainly, I’ve noticed that I’ve become ambivalent about using Sparkles when my spontaneous orgasms keep me happy all day and my stealth nipplegasms, subtle (one-finger barely moving) clitgasms — even labia-gasms! — are so fulfilling orgasmically that I don’t feel the need for penetration (at the time)… (It’s the rest of my waking hours that I’m horny as all get-out and want something that’s wide and hard inside me!)

I have also noticed that when I go for a length of time without doing the blended orgasms (both hands stimulating), it takes longer to bring myself to orgasm when I get back in to it.  It’s as if I have to stay in practice with it the way a pianist has to stay in practice with the piano to keep up his technique, or the training starts to drain out of the muscle memory.  For these body-centric orgasms, it’s not just my fingers and wrists that have to stay limber to bring about orgasm — my entire body has to “train” for orgasms since they are full-body experiences, especially in the abdominal area, my legs, and glutes.

I’ve been adjusting to the integration of the non-explosion clitoral part of my blended orgasm.  It’s just weird to not feel it.  But these new orgasms are amazing.  Instead of feeling that hot explosion at one very centralized point (the head of the clit), the orgasms feel like a huge, powerful wave crashing against the coastline of my genitals, and I am thunderstruck by their intensity.  With Sparkles, the blended O is very similar, yet even more powerful because of the added sensation of being penetrated and having it stimulate my A-Spot and cervix as well.

During the hands-on stim, I love feeling the changes to my prostate.  She is just awesome!  I’ve even discovered a few new  spots within my prostate!  I’m learning their signals, what it means orgasmically when I start to feel them emerging from the rougher texture of my aroused prostate.  One of these spots is toward the left, the other two are toward the sides of the prostate (which is very important to stimulate as well!), along with my already discovered She Spot.

What’s been interesting to me has been my legs.  A few minutes in to each hands-on session, my legs start shaking wildly, uncontrollably.  I feel my glutes clenching and unclenching.  My hips are rocking, reaching up repeatedly in their own rhythm. And here is where the problem begins…

Since I’ve got the physical part of the stimulation down, I’ve been trying to enjoy some fantasy time in my mind during arousal.  Usually, I try to picture my Dream Man being the one to do all this stimulation (which would be much easier on my wrists if he were!).  But I’m so in awe of the changes in, on, through my body that my mind doesn’t want to leave all this awareness of my body’s process to climax.  As soon as I try picturing Mr. Dream Man, I lose some of the arousal (slightly).  For some reason, I’m not interested in thinking of women… so that’s another issue to deal with another day…

I don’t do “fantasy” — as in made-up time, place, setting.  And I know instinctively that it would not work for me, so no, I won’t try.

Between the extended time to orgasm via hands-on stim, not craving penetrative Sparkles sex, and loving my body’s changes more than I lust after my Dream Man, I know I’m at a crossroads.  Don’t know what’s around the corner, but I’m taking a peek and will meet it head-on… and hands on. :-)

Aroused and feeling,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 10-19-12 Part 2: Integration of Clitoral Orgasms & Disappointment


* Read Part 1 here. *

Also, this September, I noticed how my clitoral orgasms are not as explosive and separate from my vaginal/prostate orgasms as they used to be.  Instead of an obvious explosion, that typifies the clit orgasm, my clitoral orgasms have become much fuller, more like full-body expansion up my torso and through me in waves rather than being localized to the clit in a hot quick burst of release.  These new clitoral orgasms (in conjunction with prostate stim) have been amazing.

My prostate orgasms have been insanely intense, and yet I have not felt the awakening in my prostate that I had hoped for since resuming my practice in August.  I could still be in a time of adjustment, or my prostate could be so integrated now that my body is now accustomed to the sensations that were once so new and startling.  (Which sucks because I love when my prostate is so awake I literally can’t sit still.)  However, I know my prostate is very much awake and attentive because I have urination orgasms almost every time I go to the bathroom.  And of course, the blended orgasms are truly out of this world.

On a side note, since crossing that threshold into being 40, I have noticed since September that I’m not as wet as I used to be.  I know my caffeine intake is too high, and I’ve been forgetting to take my fish oil, but not being crazy-wet all the time has me concerned about my hormone levels as well as my hydration and diet regimen.  I eat pretty well — on the rare occasion too much sugar, but nowhere near what I used to consume.  So I’ve made a conscious effort to lay off most sugar/starch, take my fish oil, eat my dark chocolate, and drink LOTS of water.  I can tell when I’m properly hydrated by the prostate orgasms that radiate through my torso and up my spine to my scalp and face when I go to the bathroom.  No orgasm while urinating?  CHUG ICE WATER.

I’ve been trying to do my Sparkles-assisted sessions on Monday, Wednesday, Friday — during the day, since I’m loud, saving my hands-only, quieter, blended, wake-up O’s for Saturdays and/or Sundays.

Today, I experienced again what had been happening for the past couple of weeks.  Starting the session later than I prefer puts me in a bit of a stress mode since I like to have my “lying broken” time first to clear the mind fuzz.  If I have less than 3 hours, I usually don’t bother. But today, I had less than 2 hours, but really wanted to have a session, so I went for it… which may have been what set me up for the resulting disappointment.

By not having my “lying broken” time, the mind fuzz was all a-chatter in my head.  Life, work, this blog, Twitter, updating my site, hoping I can raise enough funds to start my radio show and forum, organizing my own orgasm training method in my head — my mind would not slow down, shut off, or shut up. And yet, I proceeded.  Pathetically.  I did about 15 minutes of sounds on Aum, doing light sensual massage.  After a minute, I had some light nipple-gasms (disappointed that it took that long).  A few minutes into the Aumming, I started clit massage.  Took a good minute to get an OM-clit-gasm.  (Disappointing.)  Trying to put a finger in, there was vaginal fluid at the opening, enough to insert my finger to stim my prostate, but certainly not enough to accommodate my purple silicone friend, Sparkles.

This had been going on for a few weeks now.  Too much caffeine and not enough vag fluid.  I always use lube with Sparkles, but now being 40, the idea of being one of “those” women who can’t get wet sent a panic through me.  My ex used to complain about how wet I got during sex — he would pull out and use the sheet to wipe me off till my vulva was bone dry and he could get friction (the fact that it hurt me didn’t seem to matter) — what mattered now was that I may have wasted over a decade of being a natural female ejaculator with a man who hated my amount of fluids!  Somewhere in my psyche, I may have shut that down, and now being 40, the natural hormonal changes to my body might prevent me from ever ejaculating!  GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!  (I’m not sure about this as a point of fact, but that was the fear that ran through my head… as if I had room for more mind noise…)

So what the hell was the point?!  Why am I doing this?! Why don’t I just stop — call it a day?  I’ve done that before.  This time, I couldn’t just stop.  I wasn’t having a female blue-balls moment (yes, we can  get those).  Quite the contrary, I could have very easily just gotten up.  But I was so annoyed that my routine was interrupted by starting late, my vagina was dry from my over-consumption of caffeine, and my mind would just not shut the fuck up.  And now it was glaringly obvious that I was so attached to the outcome, I couldn’t just end the session out of separation anxiety… What if my fabulous, life-altering orgasm journey is caput?  What if the ride is over and the cosmic carousel operator is trying to get me to move the hell on — and what, take up knitting?!

Granted, the “worst,” most “disappointing” orgasm nowadays is better than the best orgasm I ever had prior to beginning this journey.  But I feel like I’ve learned so much about myself, and I have so much more  to learn, that it just can’t be “over!”  It can’t continue to be a series of technically great orgasms that don’t resonate with me vibrationally!!

GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

So I soldiered on with Sparkles, had a physically great orgasm … and then, the worst did, in fact, happen.  I cried… but not in euphoria, but rather in disappointment.  This was the first time that I remember crying out of the lack of something, something was missing, and I was sad in my heart.  It dawned on me later that what’s missing just might be a physical partner.

Having soared to incredible peaks on my own, I know I’m more than ready for a partner, but my current life circumstances prevent me from pursuing pleasure with someone else.  This is not only sexually frustrating, but it hurts my heart.  I believe I have a great deal to offer a man, especially in the sex/orgasm department, but I can’t pursue anything until my divorce is finalized.  And so Asshole — my ex — still has a power over me.  I fear that having any kind of sexual relations “outside of marriage” (though I moved out 2 years ago), will be used against me to the point of losing custody of my daughter.  That is exactly what has happened to other women (it’s part of living in a Bible-thumpin’ Red State).  Another added layer of mind noise moves to the forefront.

I feel suddenly broken in many ways, and yet, I’m at a fork in the road, but I don’t know which way to go.  As a friend told me, my energy is scattered.  I know my heart is here with my activism and ArousedWoman(TM).  Hopefully, my emotional heart will be able to find its place with a partner soon enough… Bring on the ice water!

Aroused and scattered,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


AskTrish: Man with Small Penis Wonders If He Can Fully Satisfy a Woman


Dear trish,

I was born in a Muslim family and had circumcision at an early age, and I think the doctor messed up or something cause I have a really small penis.  The question is — does size actually matter to fully satisfy a woman?  My gal and I have been having sex, enjoying various positions.  She says she is happy and she actually does have an orgasm most times. She also does all she can to pleasure me to the highest during foreplay and even sometimes taking control of the sex.  But, since I’m on the smaller side I want to know does size matter cos my gal hasn’t had any other partners so she doesn’t know the difference.  We are happy together, but this is a matter of curiosity and maybe to help my gal explore something better.

Anonymous, in Mangalore, India

Dear Anonymous,

Penis size is an issue that is debated in the neuroses of men, but not so much for women, in my opinion.  You actually have several issues going on here, but allow me to address circumcision first.

Routine infant male circumcision and any female circumcision is not medically necessary and should be considered sexual assault, especially since the child cannot give informed consent to the procedure.  In males, circumcision can damage the penis head as well as the shaft, not just the foreskin.  So there may be a chance that the length of your penis has been “shortened” due to a botched circumcision that left the skin too tight.  Also, some reports say infant circumcision is responsible for 60% of erectile dysfunction in adult men.  Not to get on my anti-circ soapboax, but there are methods of foreskin restoration that might help loosen the skin of the penis so that your erections might become “fuller.”

You sound young to me, perhaps in your early 20’s, and since your girlfriend has not been with anyone else, I’ll assume she is also in that age range.  The fact that she orgasms at all during penetrative sex means you’re doing something right!  Female orgasm statistics consistently show that 70% of all women have never orgasmed during penetrative sex, with that percentage being lower for women in their 20’s.  The best way to make sure your woman orgasms is to be well-versed in female sexual anatomy.  There’s more to our genitals than just the clit or the G-spot, and so many more kinds of orgasms than just clitoral or vaginal.  (Just as there are more kinds of male orgasm than just penile/ejaculatory.)

Your concern over the size of your penis — when clearly, you’re doing just fine in the bedroom — may be a result of culture and media influence. What porn and media don’t explain is that the average length of the vagina for all women, regardless of height, build, ethnicity, or childbirth, is 3 to 4 inches.  When fully aroused, the vagina can expand in length by 50% and widens at the top, so the maximum length of the vagina is around 6 inches.

As a woman, I can testify that a penis that is too long (9-inches+) can hurt!  So being on the ” short” side (5-inches or less) when fully aroused is not a bad thing.  Remember, the vagina will only be about 6 inches when fully aroused.  You just have to know what positions work best for a smaller penis, such as woman-on-top.  If I had to choose a penis size, I’d go for a fat, thick penis over a long penis any day of the week.  But since penis size isn’t something I consider when choosing a sex partner, I suppose it doesn’t really matter.

Please note, however, that in order for a woman to be truly aroused and ready for sex, she needs at least 20 minutes of “foreplay” so that her own erectile tissues can begin to fill with blood as well.  This 20 to 30 minutes of arousal-play  also allows the woman’s mind to shift from mundane issues to relaxing into a sexual mode.

As for satisfying a woman fully, regardless of penis size, I’m assuming you have fingers, a mouth, a tongue, even a big toe, all of which can be used in the physical side of sexually satisfying a woman.  However, a woman’s most important sexual organ is her mind, that non-physical field that exists in the ether around the physical cranium.  Start with her mind, then engage her body, beginning with her skin, and her breasts (if she likes breast stimulation), and sensual massage.  Allowing the woman to relax into the moment is the most important step to help a woman orgasm.

Since you say she has orgasms “most” of the time, I’m assuming you have an orgasm every  time.  The activist part of me says the sex should not be over unless both  partners have at least one orgasm.  The horny woman part of me wonders why are you even entering her vagina with your penis if you haven’t already eaten her to a few orgasms with your mouth on her genitals?!  Oral sex on the woman is an almost guaranteed orgasm technique — your mouth sucking her clit and labia with a finger or two in the vagina and/or anus drives most women to passionate madness.

***As a shameless plug, I’m in the process of developing my own orgasm training method, so be sure to check back here for updates on when it’s ready.***

Experiment with positions and techniques that you both find interesting and arousing, and just enjoy the discovery of your own bodies and your sexual preferences.  Communication should be the foundation of your relationship anyway.  Keep in mind, that sex is supposed to be enjoyable and fulfilling, not a competition or a race.  Relax, experiment, discover.  If you love the journey, the destination is bound to be wonderful.

trish

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DailyOJ 09-10-12: Sick & Tired, Unexpected Emotion, & Energy


As I laid down to start the session, I wondered if I’d be able to do it.  I had come down with something that felt like a cold.  I felt weak and tired.  My nose had alternated between runny and/or stuffy, and I was coughing.  I realized then that this cold must have been starting early last week, when I had the clit debacle.  My body must have, in her wisdom, been redirecting energy to my immune system.  Experiencing orgasm, especially manually stimulated orgasm, takes an inordinate about of energy — chi, prana.  This is why physical orgasms are exhausting while energy-based and spontaneous, Kundalini orgasms recycle and grow energy.

Not knowing what to expect, I made the conscious decision to be in non-attachment.  Being tired (at 1:00 in the afternoon, no less), I wasn’t sure I could do a full session anyway.  I made an agreement with my body to just experience whatever there was to experience, and I would be satisfied and content.

Similar to last session (and most sessions), I started with my nipples.  But there was excruciating pain.  My period is well over a week off, so why such painful sensitivity, I had no idea.  I massaged the underside of my breasts to stim those nerve endings, and gently brushed my fingertips over the nipple tips, and that helped to lessen the pain.  The nipple orgasms took a minute longer to achieve than their usual instant O’s, but I was glad that they were “working”…. and apparently was back in an ego mindset of “keeping tally.”  I re-set my mindset to non-attachment, and my hands headed south.

Doing a simple, small, barely-there caress on my clit, these orgasms took a minute or so to get going as well.  My SASO’s seemed to be on coffee break.  Everything was going to take effort today … just when I’m sick and tired.

As I checked for readiness at my vaginal opening, I was almost bone dry.  I’d been feeling “parched” in my throat and feared I’d be dry vaginally, too.  Sure enough, I was.  Thinking back, my caffeine levels were way too high compared to my water intake.  Caffeine is the death of orgasm because of its vaso-constriction of blood vessels — and both men and women require healthy blood vessels for arousal and physical orgasm.

At this point, I knew I probably wouldn’t do anything with Sparkles.  A little lube is always used with Sparkles, but starting out not wet and relying only on lube for moisture leads to “friction sex” and that is painful.  With my immune system low and my SASO’s on vacation, I knew this would be hands-only today.

I started by creating moisture, continuing nipple O’s and clit O’s.  This brought on enough fluid that I could insert my fingers to love on my prostate. As she grew with arousal and her texture changed from smooth to ridged, I started on my clit with circles.  I did not wet my clit.  In fact, I usually start with dry fingers on either side of my hooded clit.  This allows me to get a hold on the clitoral shaft, stimulating up and down the shaft as well as across the head.  (Note:  Do NOT try this on a woman without her permission.  I know what I’m doing and what I’m feeling.  If using dry touch, definitely let the woman lead.  And pay attention to her reactions!)

I didn’t even pay attention to the time.  I just enjoyed whatever was there to feel and savor.  All of my previous concerns melted away as I got close to orgasm — I could feel my prostate was swollen as were the clitoral vestibules squeezing in like a vice-grip on my fingers.  The blended orgasm was powerful and seemed to keep going and going.  I finally had to stop because I could not manipulate my hands anymore.  I was exhausted.  Then it happened.

I cried.  Emotion had bubbled beneath the surface last time, but this was emotion that I experience only after deep-thrust, A-spot/uterine orgasms.  I felt that same outpouring of happiness, sadness, joy, wishful thinking, and longing that I feel after penetrative orgasms.  I’ve never actually cried after a blended orgasm, but this was a great experience.

I looked over at my toy and thought, “What’s the point?”  I was incredibly satisfied so I didn’t need the penetration — the rapid finger-thrusts on my prostate had taken care of that need.

As I lay back, the after-O’s in my vagina, vulva, abs, and legs were so palpable, I had a spontaneous orgasm or two.  The energy pulsated through me.  I noticed I was having similar muscle spasms in my right bicep.  After a minute or so of very strong muscle contractions in the bicep head, the spasms moved around my arm to the triceps, and eventually faded as the contractions in my vagina, anus, abs, and hips slowed down.

Hours later, at my desk, I felt an energy radiating outward from my vaginal opening area.  If you’ve ever seen a stylized drawing of a sun, with rays beaming outward in all directions from the perimeter of the sun center, that is what this felt like.  This energy kept pulsating outward, a steady rhythm from my vaginal opening center, outward toward my legs.  I don’t know how long this went on, but other energy zaps and zings occurred on the outsides of my legs, scalpgasms that circumferenced my head and tickled my face, and even spasms on the bridge of my nose — didn’t think there was any muscle there — that seemed to last for over an hour.  In fact, they continued when I was back at my desk later, trying to work.

Overall, this was an interesting experience that left me breathless and deeply satisfied physically and emotionally.  The unexpected emotion was as welcome as the after-effects of spasms and energy zings.  I’m excited to see and feel what else happens.

Aroused and non-attached,

trish

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DailyOJ 09-06-12: Same Ol’ Blended O With a Dash of Something New


So… this will be quick… ya know… like sex after you’ve been married a long time.

This session was almost identical to my last session, mainly because the storm energy was still buzzing through the air, and I still felt the effects of that weird buzzy-ness.  Electric.  (I don’t drink alcohol or do drugs, so I know it’s naturally induced.)  Also, my clit was there but still not as enthused as I would have liked.  The hands-on blended O went to orgasm (rather delicious actually), but oddly, I was waiting for my clit to reach orgasm not my prostate.  Usually, the reverse is true.

This blended O felt more vaginal/full-body waves-centric as a result.  The emphasis was on my left hand thrusting in and out of my vagina at rapid speed, rather than my other hand going crazy with clit circles.  Usually during blended orgasms, my left hand actually pauses at the entrance, still “connected” to my prostate, while my right hand circles my clit like a madwoman.  My left hand will then thrust a few times here and there to maintain the orgasms till I can’t do any more.

So this session was very similar with the one addition of a peculiar feeling after the hands-on blended orgasm set.

As soon as the main part of my orgasm(s) had stopped, I laid back on the bed — not crunching forward, not arching back, just laying back catching my breath.  I suddenly felt the want of emotion rising up.  This completely surprised me.  I have never felt emotion (the need or want to cry) except after solo, deep-thrust-triggered A-spot/uterine orgasms.  Not even using a toy to stimulate my prostate for blended O’s brings emotion.  I waited to see if it induced tears, but no, it did not.

After a few minutes as observationist, the emotional feeling faded, or more accurately, was absorbed into my self.  I certainly would have allowed the emotion.  But this was so new, I tried to watch its journey from inside my body, curious to observe why emotion from a blended orgasm, where did the emotion stem from — my core as uterine orgasms do, or from my heart chakra as most of my emotional orgasms do, or somewhere else?

This orgasm session was a completely new experience for me.  Honestly, I was a wee bit disappointed when I did not cry.  But I was so interested in this development, I just laid in bed and let it sink in.

Then, yes, I went for Sparkles… huge, numerous, loud orgasms ensued; cried because they were so awesome, neighbors called the police to complain about the noise, yadda, yadda.

(Just kidding about the police.)

Aroused and rising up,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


Chapter 6 of “Confessions of an Aroused Woman” Now Available as .PDF!


Released on Kindle a few months ago, Chapter 6 of Confessions of an Aroused Woman is based on my personal experiences.  Confessions of an Aroused Woman  is a fictionalized series of erotica vignettes that is women-positive, sex-positive, and all-around fun to read.

Reviews on Amazon.com:

Refreshingly, realistically, erotic   May 31, 2012  ~   By B. Lee

Trish Causey’s writing is as informative and exciting as her website. It is fascinating to read her first-person accounts of what an aroused woman feels and does. The scene in which she is showing her man her masturbation, describing in exquisite detail her actions and sensations and thoughts, while he honors her arousal and gradually contributes to it, is intense! The chapter is so descriptive, hot, and wet, that it’s almost an erotic case study, and men-loving women would do well to take notes, with a towel nearby.

An open door…May 31, 2012  ~   By Saloonsinger

I read with relish this chapter of Confessions of an Aroused Woman. Ms. Causey writes with power and emotion. She takes us with her on a journey into being her complete and sexual self, and in so doing opens the door for each of us to recognize the same power within us. I highly recommend her as someone to keep an eye out for in the book world.

One of my Twitter followers wrote on 09-03-12:

 

 

 

 

Purchase Chapter 6 for only $2.99 … to tide you over until the entire book is ready for publication!

Thank you!  And I really hope you enjoy it.  MUAH!!  xoxo

trish

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DailyOJ 08-29-12: Stormy Weather, Labia-gasms, & Emotion


Outside my bedroom window, I could hear the trees branches hitting the roof, the rain pelting everything, and the wind blowing.  I opened my eyes to see if we had power – we did, and I promptly snuggled down under my sheet. The steady rhythm of stormy weather and a cold, air-conditioned room combine to make a recipe that sends me off into a sensuous half-sleep, drifting over to the Other Side, but still anchored here.

After getting up and checking out the apartment and the balcony, everything looked fine.  Well, for a hurricane, that is.  My outdoor plants are in the middle of my livingroom, my kitchen counters are covered in water bottles and prep supplies.  Thankfully, we didn’t need them.  We were safe and dry.  So I could go back to bed.

In bed, my mind noted the irony that this was the 7th anniversary of Katrina and the 2nd anniversary of my moving out and becoming a single mom.  Moving out was, in effect, the beginning of my journey to reclaiming my identity and my sexuality.  Hard to believe it had been 2 years already.

Since I wasn’t alone in the house, and my neighbors had hunkered down for the storm as well, I didn’t even attempt having orgasms… at first… some just happened — I didn’t mean to… The room was cold.  Sue me.

With the rain outside and my ceiling fan spinning above me, I lay in bed with the sheet off my breasts and legs, just covering my vulva area, to keep her warm and juicy.  I absentmindedly started some sensual massage, and my nipples perked right up.  The areolas puckered so tight I had  to rub on them, and off I went into my SASO’s.  When my nipples calmed down, I did a little OM-touch on my clit, and was off again.  This went on back and forth for over an hour, having SASO’s, taking a break for a few minutes then starting again.

In between sets, I checked my vaginal opening for juices.  Sure enough, yep, there were juices after each set, which, for me, verifies that these are in fact productive orgasms.  Not that anyone would challenge me on this point, but these O’s are so very different from regular stimulated orgasms — amazingly fulfilling, full-body orgasms, but different.

I was very wet, and I couldn’t help but spread the love all over my inner labia and clit, then a little bit further to my outer labia.  My juices were warm and slick, viscous, and smelled wonderful.  Enjoying the feeling of my labia, I gently massaged them with my right hand; my left hand was up behind my head from the last set of O’s.  Before I knew it, I was off again!  Having orgasms from stroking the inside of my right inner labia!!  I have never done this nor have I ever anticipated orgasms from such a seemingly innocuous area.  I kept stroking gently and rolling the lip edge with my fingertips throughout the O’s, until my hand had to go up over my head as well…. Dammit.

A little later, I tried stimulating the U-Spot to help trigger an orgasm there, but I wasn’t feeling it… so I thought…

With the juices flowing and my vagina in YES! mode, I had to slip a couple fingers in.  I smiled because I love the vastly different temperatures between the cold room, my hot skin, and my warm wet vagina.  She truly is awesome.  I stroked my prostate, but just to notice the textures, not to lead anywhere.  My right hand came out as my left hand slipped in.  I know it’s serious when my left hand wants in.  I would more than likely be very busy for the next 10 minutes or so.  And sure enough, with minds of their own, my hands conjured a delicious, complex blended orgasm or series of orgasms that seemed to  last longer than they usually do.  My mind has become so observationist on what is happening in my body, I try to notice every nuance that is happening both inside my vagina — the vaginal walls, the juices, my moving She Spot, the texture of my prostate, the clenching of the inner clitoral bulb, as well as with my outer clit as she begins to hide so close to orgasm.

This blended orgasm was truly wonderful — so much so, I actually made noise, which I don’t normally do with hands-on O’s.  I tend to associate noise-making with the penetrative thrust action and A-Spot reach of my toy.  I kept the orgasms going as long as my hands could function, but even they needed to heed the call of the Great Orgasm God/dess and fly up over my head as my back arched and my legs kicked — also something I don’t normally do with hands-on O’s… the Kundalini responses are usually the realm of the SASO’s. Hmmmm… makes me wonder what’s going on… and why am I not doing hands-on blended O’s anymore?  These are awesome.  Will definitely pencil them in my next session.

Then the unexpected happened.  I felt this welling up of emotion, like I was about to cry.  I was just at the verge of actually crying, felt the tears, the sudden intake of breath, but I was so shocked by the need to cry that I think I stifled it unintentionally.  I lay there for a minute.  I felt the need to cry again, but I was so aware of it, the crying melted away.

I began to focus on my body and the after-O’s happening in my genitals.  My hips were still moving, my legs were beginning to calm down, and I was thoroughly sated.  Better yet, I was happy.  And the room was cold.  My nipples were getting tight again, and all I could think was that it was a great start to another year as a free, whole orgasmic woman.

Aroused and happy,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 08-24-12: Double-Dipping, Sporadic Awakening, & New Responses


Copyright 2012 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

I didn’t feel the need for laying in bed an hour or longer, to relax or process out mind noise.  I think I was “lying” broken” for less than half an hour, doing my SASO nipple-gasms and OM clit-gasms, just to tone down the sensitivity in my nipples and clit — otherwise I’d just orgasm through my KSMO session… (apparent fail — I still O’d through my KSMO session).  I did about 14 minutes of KSMO, using a mix of nipple stim, sensual massage, and then clit/prostate stim.  Following that, I moved on to a solo session.

The trip to full-on, penetrative orgasms didn’t take long, about 8 minutes, and the results were predictably amazing.  And yet, the emotion that came with the orgasms was unpredictably extended.  Not the hard crying that can happen sometimes, my body eased into this emotional response, but once started, it was hard to shut off.  Of course, I’m not in the habit of shutting off my sexual responses (anymore), so I let it play out, trying to feel what my body was experiencing with the after-orgasms, but feeling true emotion welling up and needing to be released.

I lay there for about a half hour, dreading the getting up and continuing on with my day.  I wanted to feel something new.  Strange how even these amazing orgasmic experiences are beginning to feel mechanical and routine.  Having stimulated my prostate during the KSMO session, she was primed for the Sparkles treatment.  But now, laying in the after-glow, I could feel her throbbing, growing.  She wanted more.  I wasn’t sure if my shoulder and wrist would last for another round, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.

I lubed up Sparkles, and on the insertion, I could tell I was much tighter.  My prostate was definitely engorged, as were the vaginal walls that were pulsating inward, and I think the inner clit was still swollen as well.  The sensation of being truly filled was almost breathtaking.  Not to disparage Sparkles — I got him for his upward curve, not his girth.  (Dammit.)  But I loved the feeling of being full.  With a truly turned-on prostate, I felt those all-over ripples down my arms and legs, my legs began to shake — which usually only happens with hands-on prostate stimulation.  I reveled in the feeling of needing to urinate because I knew it had nothing to do with my bladder and everything to do with my She Spot/prostate.  I had been missing that feeling all summer.  To have that wave, that full-body shudder was joyously pleasing.

I didn’t think my arm would last at this point.  I thought I might have to stop, but I soldiered on, and I’m so glad I did.  When the orgasms started, they were full-body, fully arching, fully voiced, loud, rockin’-and-rollin’ orgasms.  I kept going as long as my arms would let me, then they flew up over my head, and Sparkles almost went flying across the room.

As the last few orgasms hit, I realized my teeth were chattering!  This was a completely new sexual response for me.  I don’t do fetishy stuff — never used an ice dildo or anything, so I’ve never experienced chattering teeth before… (great… in my head, I’m now hearing the song “John Wayne’s Teeth Hey-ya”…)

Being Irish, I love being cold.  In the winter, I keep my house around 60, and it feels awesome.  I wish I could afford to keep my house this cold in the summer!  In winter, my teeth will chatter occasionally, but for the most part, I feel like I’m in heaven in a cold house.  This is ironic since my skin always seems to be hot to the touch.  When I touch people, they move suddenly, saying my hands are burning hot.  I joke and say, “I’m Irish.  I’m exothermic.”  If they’re Pagan or Witchy, I say, “I’m a Fire Spirit, hence my nickname ‘Lava.'”  (If they’re fundy Christian, I tell them I’m a Witch.  Just to see their reaction as they run in the other direction. :P)  But I don’t feel hot — I really think it’s my body just letting off the heat so I can be cold.  Go Team Shamrock!

The teeth chattering while crying was a bit weird… and yet knowing I had had a second emotional orgasm was oddly satisfying — not sure why… But as the crying and teeth chattering faded, I began to feel the beginnings of a heartgasm — a buzzing in my ribcage area, the faint beginnings of that astral pull I have been wanting to experience again.  Unfortunately, a full heartgasm did not develop (rats!), but I was able to enjoy some lingering prostate body-shudders later when I went to the bathroom, and sporadically since.  Also, I recalled that when I had the 2-week-long heartgasm last Fall as well as the heartgasms in May, it was due to double-dipping — going two separate rounds of penetrative solo sex that concentrated on prostate stimulation.  That info is now filed for next time!

After awakening so grandly on 08-08-12 and 08-10-12, then having the back pain for a week, then the subsequent chakra cleansing, then my period, I’m already getting tired of the stops and starts on my journey.  I’m ready to hit cruise control for a bit.  But that’s just some Yang energy coming to the fore.  After being so Yin for several months, I was actually getting concerned I’d lost my inner fire.  I’m very appreciative of the Yang energy surfacing long enough to say “Hi” but not overwhelm my new Yinning state.

I briefly entertained the notion of recording my orgasms so I can hear them later — to get a sense of what’s happening vocally when my body is blissed out orgasmically.  And then I had the horrible thought of taking a month-long break from any orgasms at all.  Now I know I’m going crazy.

Speaking of going crazy, I think my shamanic dreams are coming back.  The past few nights, I’ve had some strange and intense dreams.  So I’ve decided to start a dream journal as well.  More on that later.  But for now, I’m about to hit the busy, busy last week of the month to meet all my writing deadlines (for my paying jobs), so I might take this week off from intentional orgasms.  Hmmmmmm….

Aroused and chattering,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 08-17-12, Part 2: Lying Broken in Pieces As I Heal


* Read Part 1 here! *

Glad to have movement and feeling in my back again after the excruciating pain that started a week ago, I was really looking forward to resuming my orgasmic awakening routine.  After all, my big, loud O’s had been on lock-down almost all summer while I gorged on stealth and spontaneous orgasms (now to be known as SASO).  Getting back on the path was a milestone for my 1-year multi-orgasmic anniversary.

The back pain had been a curious development.  Since losing almost 70 pounds from my highest weight, I know all about pain — back pain, hip/sciatica pain, lower back, neck, every joint imaginable pain, lower extremities/pedal edema, crazy hormones, all while being miserable inside as a person as well.

Similarly to my session on 08-08-12, I laid in bed for a while … a long while … as the majority of pain had melted away rather miraculously.  I don’t know why I had started this “tradition” of laying in bed, allowing my mind to wander, absentmindedly caressing myself.  In the summer, this was practically the extent of my sexual activities — with little privacy to pursue much fun, the SASO’s were exceedingly, surprisingly satisfying.  Now able to arch my back, the nipple O’s also made a glorious return.

The stealth clit orgasms were not instant as they usually were, but rather needed a few strokes on the upper left (my left) part of my clit to get going.  The right side of my clit is also very receptive to this touch, and I gratefully accepted the back-arching orgasms from that side as well.  Apparently, with the nipples unresponsive due to pinched nerves in my back, my clit had been less responsive to touch as well — not surprising since the the nipples are wired directly to the clit.

After an incredible length of time that didn’t feel like any time at all, I looked at the  clock.  I wasn’t even sure I had time to get the 20-minute session in much less the after-session fun.  More than an hour had passed.  I decided to begin, starting in my old-school style — with my nipples.  I had worried that starting back with regular practice had diminished my nipple/stealth orgasms in a phase of integration.  This can happen as you sojourn on any energy-based orgasm journey.  A big breakthrough explodes then fades — or integrates — as new experiences rise to the surface.  However, I think the issues this past week with the SASO’s were due to the back pain/heart chakra blockage.

I did the 20 minutes, moving to my clit and prostate for the last 10 minutes.  It all felt wonderful, and I was so glad to be able to move my hips again.  I was cutting it close to time, and with only an hour left of free time, I decided not to go for the full treatment but rather just lay in bed.  I took mental notes of all the energy zings all over my skin, the pulsating inside my vagina, the swelling of my prostate (!), the pulsating throbbing of my PC muscles, my anus, and the continuing circles and figure-8’s of my hips that I was not doing intentionally.

After a half hour of this, the “after-O’s” pulsed more slowly as they began to simmer to the background — notice I didn’t have a “big” O, and yet I still had the after-O’s!  Oddly fulfilled and thankfully not hurting, I got dressed, made up my bed, and walked (slowly) back to my desk.

It occurred to me later that lying in the bed before any stimulation or session caress or sounds had been an important aspect of my orgasmic awakening.  If you remember, I shared this article from another site on the concept of “lying broken.”  That being “broken” is one of those glass half-full situations.  You can see yourself as a shambles of what you were, or you can recognize that the pieces are now truly yours  to put back how you  want to be renewed.

This, then, was another eye-opener for me.  Though this experience happened on Friday, 08-17-12, and the Todd Akin “legitimate rape” debacle occurred over the weekend, remembering the “lying broken” article became a welcome glimpse of hindsight.  My heart chakra probably was triggered by my return to practice because it was my return to working on me.  For the past several months, I have been going through what I call the “Dark Side of Yin,” a chronic lethargy as old wounds churn at the core of me.  Not being alone during the summer, I had no real time or space to meditate or focus on myself in a self-healing capacity.  I also think some of the Kundalini awakening contributed to my turning inward so significantly — the coiled serpent that began her rise from slumber at my root chakra is making her way through my energy centers, and it appears my heart chakra was the wheel that needed to be cleansed this past week.

My work is not over for my heart chakra, but I do believe I have made great strides toward reassembling the pieces of my broken self into the newly forming me — as a whole woman.  And how fitting that this is occurring as I am about to turn 40.  I am still putting the bad experiences behind me, but more than ever I know that the pieces are mine to assemble as I see fit.  If I don’t like what I see forming, I will go back to lying broken until I once again have a clear vision of my self as a whole human being.  And unlike my afternoon schedule, I can take my time.  That’s why I’m here on this plane anyway.

Aroused and broken but healing,

trish

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DailyOJ 08-11-12 & 08-12-12: The Times in Between, Full-Body Wave-gasms, & Urination Orgasms


“Nude Sitting Up,” by Chagall, 1908

Waking up Saturday morning, I was in severe pain.  Pain I had not felt in a while.  Sunday morning brought the same, if not worse, pain in my back and neck.  How bad was it, you ask?  Let’s just say that Saturday and Sunday mornings were the first time in over a year  I didn’t start my day by touching my breasts or  my genitals.  Yeah.  That  bad.

So not being alone at home, I did not do KSMO or Sparkles.  With the pain I was feeling, I didn’t think my back could take the sudden back arches of O’s brought on by OM touch or nipple stimulation.  But the weekend was not entirely uneventful.  I had known I would not be doing KSMO over the weekend, so I had allowed for these two days to be “see what happens” days, the days in between KSMO sessions when the new energy patterns that were triggered in the session start to make their appearance — hence the reason Jack recommends not  KSMO-ing on consecutive days.

Throughout the day, both Saturday and Sunday, I felt familiar zings of energy up my legs every now and then while working at my desk.  Because it was localized to my legs, I wouldn’t call it a full deskgasm.  And yet, because I know what these energies are, what they feel like, and I have an idea what they will lead to, I am very excited by their activity even though they seem small.  When first experiencing these energies, it can be difficult to notice them for what they are or to appreciate them for what they actually mean.  This is an encore sojourn through KSMO for me, so I recognize the signals.  I’m not worried or wondering if I’m doing it right or feeling disappointed that they weren’t bigger, bolder, or more obvious.

In the shower Saturday night, doing my nightly finger check, my prostate gave another slight “hello.”  After a few pulses, I checked the fluid, and again, it smelled sweet but was very thick.  I had already made the mental note to drink more water that day, so I was hoping I’d see some improvement by Sunday.  However, I had inadvertently eaten an Asian dish with MSG (monosodium glutamate) and was having swelling in my legs and ankles.  I drank extra water to help flush it out of my system.  Also, I should note, I am making sure to take my fish oil every day as well as chocolate.

Sunday had similar energy swooshes up the leg and a scalpgasm — maybe two.  I even had a full-body wave-gasm — the energy starts in my feet, zooms up my left leg, around my torso, up my back, and curves around my head into a scalpgasm and ends at tickling my face, followed by a full-body shudder, a zing in the genitals, and goosebumps on my arms.  Oh, and this was at my desk, so this  qualifies as a deskgasm (to me).

But what really got my heart racing in a great big “We’re on our way!” thrill was the urination orgasm I had Sunday afternoon.  The prostate wraps around the urethra in the female as it does in the male.  Rubbing the female prostate during sex, a woman can suddenly have that feeling of needing to go to the bathroom.  But if she knows her bladder is empty, she shouldn’t tense up  but rather push out  and get to know and enjoy(!)  those full-body ripples of pleasure that can occur from prostate play.  This same effect can be achieved while urinating — if the prostate is aroused or full of fluid, the rush of urine through the urethra — which stimulates the prostate —  can trigger delicious O’s… or… U’s. :D

Sunday night, in the shower, I let the hot water hit my back for a while to help relax whatever muscles in my back or neck were still so tense.  It was 1:30 a.m.  I should have been in bed hours before since it was a school night, but I just didn’t want to sleep.  My body was tired, but my brain was wide awake.  Standing there, I massaged my hips through my glutes since I’d been having some recurring sciatica pain in recent weeks.  I couldn’t help but brush a finger along the upper part of my butt cleavage, which months before, I had accidentally discovered to be a very sensitive erogenous zone.  Moving my middle finger lower, I hit the K-spot, which is at the tip of the coccyx bone just above the anus.  I got zapped with an energy wave straight up my spine to my scalp.  So, yeah…  I kept doing that for a couple minutes.

On the whole, this is all very encouraging.  Starting back with KSMO on Wednesday, I was very happy with the progress I was already experiencing as of Sunday night.  With the re-awakening of my prostate and my K-spot, the energy flowing again, the deskgasm and full-body-gasm, I am very optimistic in terms of my orgasmic development.  I had a teary moment (furball) that came up Sunday afternoon — another impromptu pity party of my general inadequacy in life, career, and love.  So I’m soul-searching into that.  Again, I think I know what it is.  I’ll write more on that  when I have more information to share.  I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels similarly.

Aroused and zinging,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 08-10-12: Beginnings of Prostate Re-Awakening & Energy Zings


Similarly to the past two days — 08-08-12 and 08-09-12, I laid in bed over an hour, started KSMO when I was ready and that was about it.  I looked at the clock when I started the 20-minute session, didn’t even set my stopwatch to time it. But I only did a few rounds of the breathing and Key Sound, and I knew I was ready to be done, so I stopped.  I looked at the clock.  It was only 4 minutes later.  I didn’t bother with Sparkles.  I wasn’t in the mood … well, I was in the mood, but my back and neck had started hurting the night before.  The pain was beginning to override any would-be pleasurable feelings.  But the breathing and relaxing did start to help with the pain in my back and neck.

Having to learn how to re-incorporate KSMO back into my routine without triggering stealth orgasms  had been the first challenge of the past two days.  The unexpected emotional “furballs” got me thinking in another direction.  But at the time, after the 4 minutes was over, I noticed tingling up my left leg, which I took as a good sign.  I was physically tired and hurting, so I laid there for a while trying to breathe the pain away, but eventually had to get up.

As I got on with my day, I noticed intermittent energy zings up my left leg again.  As well as the occasional scalgasm.  This was very encouraging to me as it meant, yes, the energies were still there — perhaps, dormant — but definitely still there.

In the shower, I did my nightly vagina check, and as I inserted my finger, I felt a jolt.  Not a sharp zap like with the clit, but a deeper, more subtle, expansion of energy, a noticeable triggering of something in my prostate.  I couldn’t help myself.  I pulsed a few times and felt the inklings of prostate re-awakening that I have been craving for months.  I was ecstatic but careful not to do too much.  Doing “more” or “harder” or “faster” won’t make the sensations suddenly appear.  They have a mind and a schedule (and a wisdom) all their own.  It’s annoying at times to realize that my super intelligent, crafty mind can’t make my body hurry up and do  what I want and be  where I want it to be when  I want it to be there… kind of like losing weight… which reminds me… no more brownies….

When I looked at my fingers to check the fluid, it was so thick it was less like fluid and more like a facial cream.  The smell was spot on — sweet — and seeing the copious amount of prostate “fluid” from just a few pulses was definitely encouraging.  But the thickness concerned me.  It meant I was dehydrated.  The prostate and my ultimate goal of gushing waterfalls via female ejaculation will never happen without being properly, if not, slightly over-, hydrated.

This fact alone caused me to look at everything I’m doing in totality.

Life is complete stress right now, for several reasons, which I won’t go in to here.

My schedule changed this week from my natural night-owl schedule to the enforced schedule of getting a kid on a school bus early in the mornings.

This change in schedule also changed my eating habits, sleeping habits, exercise habits — essentially, just about everything I do, plus how and when I do it.

I have also begun lowering my caffeine intake by only drinking 24 oz. of Diet Coke per day.  Last week, I had remembered that when I had my big prostate/cosmic bliss orgasm breakthrough in the Fall, I was completely off Diet Coke and thoroughly hydrated.  My two beverages are water and my vice, Diet Coke.  No alcohol, coffee, or tea.  So anticipating the return of daily sessions, I had dropped my caffeine consumption, which may be triggering detox.  I definitely felt the headaches of withdrawal, but I’m not sure I want to associate my back and neck pain to the caffeine withdrawal… yet…

As I thought on all this later, I think I understand what is happening, but only time will tell if it is what I think it is…

Aroused and being mysterious,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 08-08-12, Part 2: Back on the Path


* Read Part 1 here. *

I originally bought the KSMO seminar back in 2006. Life was too stressful, and I never actually did the practice. Fast forward to August 2011, my life was calmer, happier in many aspects, and I was ready to see what all this multiple orgasm thing was all about.  Coming out of a miserable marriage, I was anticipating having sex again… hopefully… at some point… in the future… before I die…. Having never orgasmed during sex, I wanted to teach my body to be multi -orgasmic so I could maybe have one orgasm during sex… at least… hopefully… before I die….

In my KSMO 20-minute sessions, I would caress my breasts for 10 minutes, then my clit for about 5 minutes, then do 5 minutes simultaneous stim of my clit and my prostate. Touching the genitals is not required for KSMO, and in fact, Jack, KSMO’s discoverer, actually recommends not  touching the genitals — to caress other  parts of the body.  But I don’t like doing what I’m told.  Quelle surprise,  I know.

I also never liked the actual timing of the 20 minutes.  Even getting started, I would procrastinate, just enjoying laying in bed and associating the timer with yet another alarm — my life is mostly alarms going off for one thing or another at all times of the day and night, every day of the week.  Scheduling in KSMO had begun to feel like another scheduled chore rather than an opportunity for training my bliss genes.  And yet, if I had not scheduled KSMO, then I would not have done it — by experience, I knew I had to schedule the sessions or they wouldn’t get done.

During the actual 20-minute session, I would inevitably look at my phone’s stopwatch with disdain, thinking, “Jeez, is it 20 minutes yet?  Can I just get on to the jerking off part?”  (Another thing Jack doesn’t recommend — KSMO and sex on the same day.  I rarely obeyed that rule either.)

Resuming KSMO after more than two months off made me a little nervous.  I wasn’t sure what to expect.  I had taken a two-month break in the Spring and was almost sorry I did because of my prostate’s subsequent dwindling super-powers.  But I want to get back into it — to start on the next climb to the next peak of whatever the next threshold might be.  (No, seriously, I’m in non-attachment, I swear!)

I laid in bed for about an hour, enjoying the calm, the CD playing softly in the background, just having some peace to myself.  I knew I was going to do KSMO, but I felt no rush, no schedule to do it.  I couldn’t help having some stealth O’s — after all, they’re now synonymous with my sexual identity.  I can’t prevent the spontaneous O’s anyway.  (Like I would try?! )  But I did not overtly go  for orgasms.  I caressed my body and just happened to enjoy some spontaneous O’s as well.  With several rounds of those out of the way, I figured I was ready for KSMO.  I felt no rush, and surprisingly, no “need” to do KSMO.  I started the KSMO session when I wanted  to start it.  This is a huge leap in my mindset from where I had been just a few months ago!  So I figured I’d do what I had done last Fall since that had worked so well.  And so I began…

First Mistake ~ I brought by hands up to my breasts and as soon as my fingertips touched my pert nipples, I suddenly had 3 concurrent back-arching, knee-raising nipple orgasms.  Damn….  This was how I always started out my sessions, to warm up my clit indirectly and get the energy flowing.  This wasn’t going to work.  On to Plan B.

Second Mistake ~ Plan B.  I reached down between my legs where I brushed my fingertips lightly along the fringe of my inner labia, and a rush of heat washed up my body.  I touched my fingertip to my clit in Om-touch style, and  BAM!  More full-body orgasms, with breathless gasps, torso twisting and thrashing, and hips off the bed.  This really sucked.

How am I supposed to do my KSMO sessions now without being able to touch my favorite spots?

I decided to try what Jack actually recommends, which really annoyed me because I don’t like doing what I’m told to do.  I started a gentle touch to the inside of my left thigh and felt tingles throughout the left side of my body.  I remembered this from before.

Without being able to touch my breasts, my torso felt neglected.  My body actually yearned for touch there.  I used my hands to caress up and down the center of my torso, from my sternum — where I could feel the vibrations of the Key Sound in my chest — down to my mons pubis.  I had never tried this before, and it felt weird to feel the softness of my breasts contrasted with the hardness of my nipples against the insides of my arms.  My arms really liked it.

During the 20 minutes, my mind wandered occasionally, and that was okay.  I was never really far from being fully mindful of my body.  I mean, if I had know the insides of my arms would get turned on by feeling my nipples, I’d have done that 25 years ago!  So I acknowledged the new information, filed it in my head, and moved on.

What I really noticed — and really made me happy — was the lack of negative emotion associated with my mind wandering or my body responding differently that she used to or differently than I expected.  There was no expectation or reward to look forward to.  The experience simply was what it was, and that was all it needed to be.  This is a huge leap for me!  To be more Yin, just accepting of the experiences as they happen, not processing them immediately, just experiencing them — experiencing them without the mind fuzz of guilt, regret, disappointment, or schedule-envy.  Whatever happened was okay.  I listened to my body and let her  lead.  I paid attention to my body so she  could teach me what she  wanted, what she  needed, explore what she  was now able to do, feel where she  wants to go next.

At the end of the 20-minutes, I was relaxed and fully sated in the experience of self-exploration, mindfulness, and non-attachment.  I did not feel the emotion of being “glad” it was over.  Quite simply, the session was complete, and I was moving on to the next phase.  So, then the rest is pretty mundane….

Fucked Sparkles, had boisterously loud orgasms, cried, blah, blah, blah…

Aroused and back on the path,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


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