Arts, Activism, Awakening in Mind, Body, & Spirit

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DailyOJ 09-04-12: Prostate Stealth O’s, Weird Energy, & Storms


I had felt a weird buzzy energy all day — all week, actually.  The hurricane had not really broken up once it hit land as it was supposed to.  Instead, Isaac is heading south, back toward the Gulf.  We really don’t need this thing to re-form as a hurricane.  But the energy in the air is absolutely electric.  And that part, I love.  I feed off storm energy — odd since storms are more associated with water, and I am a Fire spirit.  But lightning is Nature’s fire, so I am acutely aware of the electricity in the air.

I had just re-started my journey August 8th, gotten some great sessions in, and then Hurricane Isaac forced school closures for a week which tied in with the Labor Day holiday.  But, now I’m back to being alone and able to continue this journey… until the next unforeseeable interruption… Grrrr…

With the energy, I truly felt electric.  I couldn’t sit still.  I just wanted to walk outside, play in the rain, the deluge outside, revel in the energy I had been feeding on for a few weeks.  Yet, this constant rain makes me want to sleep.  I sleep so amazingly well when it’s raining outside; the steady rhythm calms me regardless of the thunder.  This Yin-Yang of energy pulling me toward either extreme at any moment felt like a sexual tension that needed to be rubbed.  So I decided to pursue that.

As I began, I had my delicious stealth and spontaneous orgasms (SASO’s).  I’ve needed to start with the nipple stim to “tone down” the sensitivity in my breasts, just so I can do some sensual massage with the KSMO and OM touch.  I did KSMO for about 4 minutes but my voice started to hurt, so I stopped.  I tried some light OM-touch, but that erupted in more SASO’s, so I stopped trying to do anything that was “practice” and just went for some prostate love instead.

My prostate was very receptive to touch, and my vagina was wet from the nipple and OM orgasms.  I did some absentminded massage/caresses on my inner thigh and up my torso, wherever my hand wanted to go — I wasn’t really thinking about it.  I noted the changes in my prostate as arousal deepened.

I also noticed how much I love the feeling of my breasts.  I don’t have anywhere near a “perfect” body, but I honestly love the feel of my body.  I especially love the feeling of my breasts, their shape and satiny smooth skin.  The underside of the breast has a super concentration of nerve endings, nerves that are connected directly to my clit.  The spinning ceiling fan blew drafts of air across my breasts, and the otherwise smooth areolas puckered up like they’d been dipped in ice water as my nipple tips grew dark pink and strained upward.  I noticed I didn’t feel a zing of energy to my clit.  I figured my prostate was overwhelming the nerve switchboard in my brain, so I just enjoyed the exquisite feel of the sensitive skin of my breasts and my puckered tips.

Feeling all lovey-dovey about my body, I figured I might as well do a hands-on blended set of O’s to get started before moving on to Sparkles for the main attraction.  And yet, several minutes in to it, I wasn’t increasing arousal in the clit area.  My prostate was getting very aroused and wet, but I felt almost nothing as I did circles with my clit.  This went on a few minutes more, and I exclaimed (in my head), “What the hell’s wrong with my clit?!!”

That about put me in an observationist panic.  Not only was I not allowing and receiving the arousal process, but for some reason, I had become attached to the outcome.  Non-attachment was on coffee-break while the Yang energy was rearing its competitive head.  I had worked so hard to become more Yin, to release the go-getter aspect of Yang energy.  And I wrote not too long ago that I was worried my sessions were going so swimmingly, they were becoming mechanical.  Well, obviously NOT!

I was more frustrated with myself for “blaming” my clit for not doing whatever I preconceived she was supposed to do than I was upset that my prostate was aroused and my clit wasn’t.  I let off my clit and moved my right hand to my breast.  I was not “going” for a prostate orgasm — those take forever.  In the old days, a G-spot/vaginal-only orgasm would take a minimum of an hour and sometimes up to 90 minutes to achieve.  Exhausting!  I didn’t have that kind of time, and frankly, I wasn’t looking for that much of a cardio endurance workout.

After just a few strokes inside on my prostate and a couple barely-there touches on my nipple tip, I had a SASO/prostate/She Spot orgasm that hit like a Kundalini orgasm with all the full-body waves of a 90 minute prostate pumping marathon.  It was shockingly powerful and utterly delicious!  My back arched uncontrollably, my legs came up as I would expect with a K-orgasm, but this was deeper and even more full — because of the prostate involvement.

I lay there afterward rather speechless and trying to process all the feelings in my body.  It was incredible.  I felt the after-O’s, my hips were still moving, my abs still contracting, my breathing took a while to return to normal.

Then I disappointed myself by reaching for Sparkles.  The disappointment was that I wasn’t going to use Sparkles in a beautiful moment to see what there was to feel.  I knew ahead of time, this was about my clit, and I had to make sure I wasn’t “broken.”  I stopped using vibration to induce orgasm almost two years ago due to numbness in my clit — that took over 6 months  to begin to feel sensation again.  I was terrified something was wrong — that the start, stop, start, stop of my practice was interfering with my progress so dramatically my clit had had enough and wanted no part of it. (NO!!!)

Long story short, Sparkles worked his magick on my prostate while I found a groove with my clit, and the ensuing orgasms were intense and induced the standard emotion.  However mechanical my process and the resulting orgasms and emotion had seemed to become, they are gold standards now, and anything other than amazing orgasmic highs now sends me into a panic that something’s wrong with me… clearly, I have cobwebs in my mental attic that need addressing. Could use a can of Mindfuzz-B-Gone… if it existed.  No, I’ll have to process this the old-fashioned way.  One orgasmic session at a time.

Aroused and regressing (Grrrrrr…),

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 12-20-11: Temperance & Stoking the Fires of Arousal


December 20, 2011

So… more mental meanderings today…

As an artist, my brain works in circles and not usually a linear path — or as a friend once told me, “Your mind works like an 8-track tape. There are 8 tracks going at all times, but you jump from one track to another as you please, and the rest of us have to keep up.”

So I was pondering KSMO and how to make the best use of my time while I’m on Stealth KSMO for the next couple of weeks because of the holidays.  I am also working on energy raising — and NOT chasing those darn incredible prostate orgasms I experienced last month!

I happened upon this — Tarot (dot com’s) Tarot Card o’ the Day.  I do not frequent this site — it was a total coincidence — but then, I don’t ordinarily subscribe to coincidences.  Today, the card is Temperance… not a card I usually like since I am an action-oriented person (waiting? patience? never!!!)  But here is what it said:

“TEMPERANCE… What is traditionally known as the Temperance card is a reference to the Soul. Classically female, she is mixing up a blend of subtle energies for the evolution of the personality. One key to interpreting this card can be found in its title, a play on the process of tempering metals in a forge. Metals must undergo extremes of temperature, folding and pounding, but the end product is infinitely superior to impure ore mined from the earth. In this image, the soul volunteers the ego for a cleansing and healing experience which may turn the personality inside-out, but which brings out the gold hidden within the heart.”

Metal, forging, fire?  Okay, THAT I can groove with, and it totally makes sense.

I used to do historical re-enactment (while on a break from doing theatre — side note: this was the biggest mistake I ever made!).  At events, I would watch the blacksmiths making swords and helms.  They spent all day and night building the fire, stoking the fire, firing the metal, plunging it into water, then shaping it with a hammer or mallet into what would be a sword or dirk, rounding the helm, molding the bosses and other decorative elements that would be welded on.  Then the metal would go back into the fire again to start the process over, which would be repeated until the sword or helm was strong enough to handle a blow and not break — yield or bend, perhaps, but not break.  (On Japanese swords, you can actually see the waves of layers of the forging and shaping process.)

Then they use various tools to refine and polish the metal, such as chisels (on the decorative bits & sharp edges), buffers to smooth and shine, etc.  It reminded me of the old story of when Michelangelo was asked how he created the famous David statue, his purported reply was, “I chipped away all the bits that weren’t David.”

Creating these tools is a process.  Creating art is a process.  I am a process.  Becoming multi-orgasmic is a process.  Achieving cosmic orgasms is a process.  This reminds me to let go of the mind noise (even when I’m stressed) and chasing the bliss (especially when I’m frustrated), and just chip away at all the bits that aren’t conducive to orgasms by allowing them to be recognized and released and enjoy all the amazing experiences Tantra, KSMO, and Kundalini are triggering.

I will focus on tempering my fire, allowing the forging of new orgasmic pathways within me.  That is my homework.

Aroused and stoking the fire,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 11-29-11: Biggest Orgasm Ever & Female Prostate Awakening


Big-Bang-OrgasmNovember 29, 2011

I have a little more to report but it is similar to my previous journal entry on my expanding awareness and experiences with awakening my female prostate and the wonders it is slowly revealing to me.  But I don’t want to seem redundant — it’s not exactly the same ol’ song, but perhaps a variation on a theme.

With the Turkey holiday, I was not at home by myself during the days last week, so my KSMO practice dropped to nill. By Sunday, the schedule was almost normal (because school would be back in session for my daughter Monday).  So Sunday night, I decided to enjoy some solo sex as it was my day off from KSMO, and I was off my moon (Auntie Flo had left the building!).  My female prostate was buzzing back to life, and I was just plain horny.

I don’t know what happened, but I enjoyed the upswing to orgasm and the after orgasm, but somehow missed the explosion of the orgasm itself.  It reminded me of my old She-Spot orgasms (She-Spot stimulation only) where the build up can blend into the after-orgasm without that “cresting of the wave” or as I term it, the “explosion” of the orgasm.

The explosion orgasms, for me, are clitoral.  Long ago, I put 2 and 2 together and got explosive, full-body orgasms by doing clit and She-Spot stim simultaneously.

But this on Sunday, almost felt like a let-down.  Although it was deliciously pleasurable, without that “cresting” at the top of the wave/orgasm, all I got was the denouement.  But I kept stimulating, wanting to come “again” — and this time feel it.  But I stayed in the after-O state for a good 20 minutes before I just gave up.  Now, please know, this all felt really good.  In the after-orgasm phase, I’m still highly aroused, making sounds, rapid breathing, legs shaking constantly, everything pulsating and contracting.  I just really love that explosive part of orgasm.

Then Monday, I really felt my female prostate all day.  When I went to the bathroom, my FP (female prostate) was pleasurably noticeable.  Around 2:00 p.m., I figured I’d skip the 20-minute KSMO practice and just take care of my FP which seemed to really want some attention.  So I did.

As in the previous post, stimulating my prostate (just the finger pumping of the FP, no clit stim) for 10 seconds at a time was more than I could handle.  I had to stop 3 times.  Again, I thought I’d just use my penis-shaped vibe (minus the vibration) to achieve orgasm, assuming it would be less intense than the FP/finger pumping.  AGAIN, I was wrong.  I couldn’t handle that either.

I would start the finger pumping — instantly , my hips shot up off the bed, I was whining/moaning, and I didn’t last more than 10 seconds — literally.  I stopped, my hips dropped to the bed, and I was panting, out of breath as if I’d just run up 10 flights of stairs.  I’ve never felt anything like this.  Ever.

So I gathered my courage and attempted it again — with the same results: hips reaching to the ceiling, me whining/moaning, unable to stand the intense pleasure erupting from my prostate.  I stopped, dropped to the bed, and panted.

Determined to conquer whatever this was, I went for it a third time with the same results — again — after only 10 seconds — again.

I brought my fingers out of my vagina.  Panting.  I was not sure what to do next, but I suddenly started crying.  I was feeling all the great pre- and post-O arousal I normally feel but at the same time.

Finally, I decided to just go for it.  I didn’t care about the neighbors or if anyone could hear me.  I made sounds I’ve truly never made before, felt things I’ve never felt before, and I wanted it to go on forever.  I wouldn’t have minded if I didn’t have the explosion part of orgasm because, frankly, I didn’t know if I’d survive it.  But if I’m gonna go, I figured this would be a great way to die. :-)

When the explosion happened, I almost sprang off the bed.  I burst into a million stars and floated up.  I was there with the Universe.  I was the Universe.  It was absolutely indescribable, the feelings of being connected to everything at once, infinite joy, love, peace — just as I’d felt in my dream / astral experiences.

My physical body burst into gut-wrenching tears, and I cried uncontrollably, heaving sobs my body is not used to emitting.  My body was doubled over, then jerking back into tension-filled arches, then doubling over again, over and over, convulsing from the emotion of what I had just experienced — all while I was still orgasming from the emotions springing from my core, my awakened prostate, and experiencing this uterine orgasm for the first time.

I don’t know how long the orgasm lasted — yes, I kept going with the vibrationless-vibe because for me, stopping the stimulation at or just after orgasm feels like having my soul plucked out from under me.  So I kept going through the post-orgasms — the quaking after-shocks of hundreds of smaller orgasms and contractions of the clit, She-Spot, cervix, uterus, anus, legs shaking, hands and feet buzzing with energy.  Except these weren’t smaller like they usually are — they were intense.  I finally stopped because it was so powerful  I actually thought I might really die from the pleasure — a full-body heart chakra attack… and I was blubbering like an idiot.

This experience seemed to last forever, but looking at the clock it was only 2:45.  How could I have experienced “forever” in less than 40 minutes?  And to be honest, I really needed a big hug.  Sometimes being alone truly is lonely.

*** Read Part 2 of this journal entry. ***

Aroused and awakening,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


REVIEW: Journey Through the Chakras CD


Journey Through the Chakras is a guided meditation CD by “intuitive counselor” and musician Colette Baron-Reid.

An author and creator of oracle cards, Baron-Reid is billed as having “facilitated hundreds of her popular seminars and workshops on developing intuition.”  She also wrote the books The Map: Finding the Magic and Meaning in the Story of Your Life and Remembering the Future: The Path to Recovering Intuition.

Baron-Reid is firmly entrenched in the 21st century New Age movement, so this CD may not resonate immediately for those who are more logically-minded.  However, without knowing much else about her and by listening to the CD, I can sense Baron-Reid is adept at helping clients attune to their inner selves.  After all, loosening the hold (and reliance) on the logical mind is part of the inner journey we all encounter as we grow spiritually and energetically.

“Chakra” is Sanskrit for “wheel” and refers to the philosophy of seven energy centers that correspond to seven body centers from the tailbone to the crown of the head.  As with Chakra or Kundalini training, Journey Through the Chakras begins with the first chakra and its correspondences, progressing through each energy center.  The vivid guided meditation is narrated by Baron-Reid herself, over original music by Mars Lasar.  The CD concludes with an original song written and sung by Baron-Reid.

Pros:
The CD has its flaws, but overall, I do think it has merit for those wanting an indirect lesson in learning about the chakras.  It is less than an hour long, and yet doesn’t feel that long.

The very aspects of the CD that some listeners find endearing, others will find annoying:  repetition of certain phrases, nature sounds, breathing “ahhhhhh” sounds at various intervals, and New Agey music underscore.  Oddly, the more I listen to the CD, the less some of these elements stand out, and therefore the less they annoy me.

Cons:
Baron-Reid is clearly not a voice over artist.  Her voice has a rasp to it that some find to be sultry, but I do not — I think she needs to be seen by a speech pathologist.  She also breathes in strange places, and her voice gives out at times, which are clear indications of weak breath support.  Her glottal stops on words beginning with vowels were truly annoying to me.

The audio engineer did not edit the voice over track to current industry standards — you can hear Baron-Reid’s mouth clicks, lip smacks, numerous plosives, and weird breathing.  **Note:  I am being extremely picky here. Some people find her voice to be “sultry” and “husky,” lending a sensual feel to the meditation.  But since this is an audio review, I have to lay it all on the table for the potential listener.  Your mileage may vary.**

Overall:
It’s too soon to tell if I will ever really love this CD, but I do think it has some valuable properties.  I have found myself plugging in to listen to it as I lay on my bed, wanting to let my mind wander a bit.  I do not focus on picturing the journey as she describes, but rather what I want to think about, and yet, I occasionally find myself suddenly visualizing the scene she is currently describing.

In the few days I’ve had the CD, I’ve listened to it perhaps 5 to 7 times.  Each night I’ve had a strange dream or series of dreams involving my current life circumstances (which I never dream about), people I know (I almost never dream about people I actually know), situations I know I need to resolve, getting help (from people I never thought would be willing to help me), and other “strange”/never-dreamt-that-before types of dreamscapes.  Interesting, indeed.

How to Use this CD:
Like most “pursuits” that are spiritual or energy based, you cannot actually pursue them.  Your subconscious self has to be open to receiving information which in turn allows you to experience and integrate needed information into your psyche and your subconscious.  Only half listening to this CD brought me dreams I don’t think I would have had otherwise.  I can only wonder “what dreams may come” if I actually did the meditation/visualization.

Perhaps I will revisit this review in a month’s time.  I am not sorry I bought the CD — I generally despise guided meditations and I’ve never bought one before now, so the fact that I actually bought this and keep listening to it must mean something positive for its effect on me.

Aroused and meditating,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


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