Arts, Activism, Awakening in Mind, Body, & Spirit

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DailyOJ 09-16-13: Lackluster Session (And I’ll Never Do That Again!)


Nude Woman Sitting Beside Bed (peach)Yesterday, I had a wonderful session, typical of a weekend morning — feeling lazy, lounging in bed thinking blissful thoughts, enjoying stealth orgasms.  But amidst the laissez-faire “art of nothing,” I decided to get out my glass toy (because I was home alone), and this led to a fantastically multiple delight that finished in an emotional release that rivaled any uterine orgasm.

Today, I set aside time for my session — again, I’m home alone, which means I really wanted to use the big guy.  I never have a particular goal in mind, except to have the experience without too much pre-planning or judgment of what happens.

Every session has 3 to 5 parts (or rounds) to it.  I usually begin with a meditation/sensual massage, then perhaps my orgasm training (11 to 22 minutes), then hands-on blended climax orgasm, wait a few minutes then bring myself to a climax orgasm with my glass toy, then wait 5 to 15 minutes to use the big guy to a glorious climatic finish that leaves me breathless from the beauty and intensity of the orgasms and crying from the overwhelming emotion that radiates through me, releasing my energy in a gush from me to the universe.

That is my usual schedule.  Sometimes, I don’t do sensual massage before my orgasm training session, and sometimes, I’ll not do the hands-on, or I’ll start hands-on and switch to glass.  And there is the occasion that I don’t go for the big guy — sometimes, I’m just exhausted by that point or my arm is just too tired to wield that sucker.

Today was just weird.  My prostate re-awakening that had begun again has lasted longer than any other time she’s done this, except I’ve noticed a decline in my prostate’s pulsating with the stress of the past week and no urination orgasms in the past couple days.  The awakening even lasted through my period, which it has never done before, so I was really anticipating these feelings in my prostate being a daily thing from now on…. I secretly hope she really kicks back in within the next day or two.

Lying in bed this afternoon, I didn’t do the massage, but my breasts really needed attention.  I spent several minutes sucking my nipples and having back-arching nipple orgasms.  I felt between my labia, as I often do after a nipple or soft-touch clit orgasms, to check for sudden fluid at my vagina’s opening.  Sure enough, I was coated with vaginal fluid, the super thick, super slick fluid.  I had the sudden thought to get the big guy and just see if I can put him in.  This was a challenge I’d wondered for a while — do I really need all those prep rounds before I use the big guy (who is 2 inches wide), and even more importantly, can I get wet enough to use this cyberskin toy with no lube?  Normally, I always use lube — cyberskin just isn’t the same as real skin.  Now, I had an opportunity to take this challenge.  And I did.

I got the tip inside and waited for it to sting as it always does.  Except it didn’t this time.  For a while, I’ve had a theory that the reason it always stings as the tip enters my vagina is because of my aroused prostate — the sensation is always a stinging sensation as the toy’s tip and corona slide against my prostate.  I assumed this is because, by the time I use the big guy, I’ve had several climax orgasms, and my prostate is in super arousal — which is why I always wait 5 to 10 minutes, sometimes even 30 minutes between my glass toy climax and grabbing the big guy — to give my prostate time to relax.  I’m still very aroused and enjoying the after-orgasms, but my prostate does seem to go down in size a little bit, making entry with the big toy slightly easier.  If I don’t wait that 10 minutes or so, using the big toy is very painful, and I feel like I’m being split in two — in a very bad, painful way.  I wonder if I just have a small vagina… my labia are small, too…. but then, so are my ears, and that doesn’t effect my orgasms…. so whatever…. I digress….

After sliding him in and out several times, I felt my vagina clench him, and I knew that was a good sign.  Though I noticed, I didn’t feel much in the rest of my body.  Focusing on what I was feeling and not judge it or analyze it at the time is incredibly difficult, especially when trying something new, and even more especially when the results are less spectacular than what you were hoping.  And that is what happened.  In fact, I thought back to my previous sexual partners, and this is exactly what I felt — or didn’t feel — nothing beyond the genitals.  Today, I felt nothing like what I’m now accustomed to experiencing:  full-body waves, uncontrollable moaning/hollering, legs shaking and flailing wildly, head thrown back — my orgasms are amazingly fantastic and such a full-body workout that I don’t go to the gym (though society would say I need to lose weight).  But this, today, was so disappointing — just like my previous sex partners…. I did climax, and it was nice…. As I’ve said before, the worst orgasm I have nowadays is infinitely better than the best orgasm I ever had before my sexual awakening.  And since I’ve never orgasmed with a partner, even this lackluster experience was better than the sex I had with my ex or others.

As I lay there, afterward, I waited for the emotion to hit.  It didn’t.  I waited for the waves of heat and fuzzy glow to fill my torso and heart.  Never happened.  I waited for the energy to shoot down my arms and legs.  Nope.  Nada.  I felt nothing, just like after sex with my previous partners.  The climax had been localized to my genitals.  This was horrible!  I was confused, and I was pissed off.  I used my big toy!  He always brings on emotional uterine orgasms!  I KNOW he was hitting my A-spot and cervix — what the FUCK?!!

I lay there, regretting the experiment because it seemed to cement for me something that I’d long wondered.  I really do need the prep rounds to have the ecstatic climaxes that truly rock my world.  The problem with this?  What if I need these prep rounds with a partner to have my oneness-with-the-universe orgasms?  What if I need all this prep every time — men get annoyed with “foreplay” as it is, what man will want to go through bringing me to climax a couple times before he can even come inside?  Guess this means quickies are out of the question.  I’m almost dreading having a partner again.  Ugh….

On a final note, I did notice a sudden hit of arousal about 30 minutes after the big toy debacle.  Suddenly, the after-orgasms really kicked in, I felt energy in my legs, and warmth in my torso.  It was as if my body thought the climax with the big toy was just the beginning and was now ready for the next round — after all, my body is used to going 3 to 5 rounds every time.  This also proved, yet again, just how important my prostate has become in my sexual journey.  Women who only stimulate their external clit and ignore their prostate — what the hell?!  GET IN YOUR VAGINA, WOMEN!!!  Love your prostate!!

I always set aside about 3 hours for these sessions, and I love them.  Now I see I really do need a certain routine in order to have the orgasms and climaxes I’m accustomed to having.  My next partner will just have to deal with it or move on.

Aroused and learning more each day,

trish

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DailyOJ 08-25-13, Part 2: Prostate Awakening, U-Orgasms, & a Force of Nature


woman-arching-back-during-orgasm-sqRead Part 1.

Today is Sunday, and I’m alone in the house.  I lounge around in bed, having my nipple orgasms and the occasional soft-touch clit orgasms (as I like to do on weekends).  The weather has been riddled with thunderstorms for a month now, and the steady rhythm of falling rain makes for perfect lazing around and dozing off and on in my comfy bed.

By 11 a.m., I figure the neighbors are all out doing their thing, and it’s probably safe to have a full session.   After a few more nipple-gasms and clit-gasms, I can feel the juices pushing against my inner labia wanting to spill out.  Instead of opening my labia with my fingers, I opt for some vaginal exercises instead.  Various squeezing and rolling of the muscles of the vagina (no, not the PC muscles), I have some small vaginal orgasms, due to the walls of my vagina brushing against each other (including the area of the She Spot).

Now, my juices are spilling out on their own, wetting the tops of my thighs, and I can feel my juices sliding down my buttocks.  Slipping my fingers inside, my prostate is so swollen, I know I have to have a couple of climax orgasms first if I am to get my cyberskin toy inside.   Yes, I want a full session.

(Side note:  Something I figured out along the way in the past couple of months was that I couldn’t do some “foreplay” stimulation inside and then insert the cyberskin god.  The last couple of times I tried that, it hurt.  I’ve realized that while my prostate is horny and swollen, let her have a couple of climaxes first, rest for 5 to 15 minutes, then go for the big toy.  Otherwise, he doesn’t fit — a lesson perhaps for others who have trouble accommodating a large penis.)

I let my fingers play all around my prostate, which has been awakening again thanks to my orgasm training and not allowing stress to rule my life.  My prostate’s changes in texture during various levels of arousal is incredible.  I can tell just where I am in my arousal by which tendrils of my prostate are “poking” through the anterior vaginal wall.   It feels like putting your finger inside a pin cushion — you can feel the pins poking your finger (but this doesn’t hurt, of course).

With the awakening of my prostate, the barest touch brings a sudden hit of pleasure that is right there at the boundary of pleasure and pain.  For a few days now, she’s been waking from her stress-induced slumber; and every time I go to the bathroom, the urination orgasms get stronger.  They start out as almost painful but not quite — and since I know this process, I know what I’m experiencing.  There is no actual pain, and the key is NOT to clench UP on the urinary muscles but to relax and release them — almost pushing down and out, which makes the U-orgasms stronger (and even more awesome).  I can experience 2 or 3 climaxes each time I go to the bathroom.  After each time, I notice the water in the toilet is cloudy.  The stronger the urination climaxes, the cloudier the water.  Again, knowing what’s happening is important as pain during urination and “cloudy” urine can be a sign of a urinary tract infection.  But again, there isn’t any pain — just lots of multiples pleasure, and the cloudiness is from the prostate, which creates creamy lube — vaginal fluid is clear.

I do my both-hands-on stim — 2 fingers of my left hand inside with my right hand on my external clit.  This feels amazing, and it goes on for about 15 minutes.  I can tell I’ve slipped the gear for climax and gone straight into the higher aroused state, which can last for a half hour, an hour, or longer, just depends on when my body can manage a climax at that point… or if my wrists and shoulders give out.

Not really wanting to spend an hour on this with no guarantee of a climax (though lots of orgasms are happening!), I decide to get out my glass toy.  The glass toy does the trick.  Reaching the exact spot of my She Spot is a little difficult sometimes — she moves around depending on how aroused I am and how swollen my internal erectile tissues are (and the layers of vaginal muscles pushing in).  This is the main reason men have trouble locating and keeping track of the “G-spot” — SHE MOVES! :-)

The glass toy has become an integral part of my sexual/sensual routine.  The glass toy is not a penis “replacement,” as it isn’t shaped like a penis — more like a really strong finger that can reach up inside to the spots I can’t, even up to the A-spot, though I’m concentrating on my prostate to keep her awakening/training on schedule.

The climax with the glass toy is stunningly glorious, and better yet, emotional!  I associate my climax orgasms with a deep emotional connection — just like I need my sex — and since I had not cried after a climax in about two months, this was a welcome return to my orgasms as I know them and love them.

I am satiated and assume I’ll just lay back, maybe doze off, enthralled in the bliss of orgasms and a multiple climax.  After about 10 minutes, I think, “Why not try the cyberskin and see if he fits?”  Agreeing with myself (as I often do), I reach for him and apply some of my favorite lube (I always use lube with toys — it’s just not the same as skin on skin).  I take a deep breath, and press the tip of my most favorite toy to my vaginal opening, and on my exhale, I try to slide him in.  I get the tip in, and it stings a little as it always does — darn horny prostate!  :-)  I breathe again, and on the exhale try pushing him in a little further.  I can feel him passing through the opening of my pubic bone, stretching me to my max.  Slowly bringing him a little further in, I start crying.  It feels so amazing, I literally start crying and having orgasms.  And I’m not moving him!  This has only happened once before, so I wasn’t completely surprised… just pleasantly surprised… and so awestruck by the emotion as well as the physical and subtle body sensations coursing through my body.

I move him slowly for several minutes — he felt amazing — but I wasn’t sure how long I could last in that orgasm stupor, so I sped up the thrusting a bit, and that sent me into orgasms.  I speed up further, and I’m soon crying even more from the pleasure.  I thrust him as fast as I can, and I’m off in another level of orgasm I’d missed for the past 2 months.  When the ultimate climaxes started, I am in such a state: crying, orgasming, and moaning sounds that are practically howls of rapture.  My climaxes are not localized to the clitoris; they are full-body and go upward and outward not downward.  I am in vertigo and floating.  This is where I love to be.  I am home.

I keep the climaxes going as long as I can — until my hands absolutely must fly up over my head, and so they do.  By this point my crying is deep, wracking sobs, my knees up pulled up to my chest, and my hands up above me, fingers splayed.

I’m sure anyone watching this might be a little freaked out.  :-)  But female orgasm is a powerful force of Nature.  And I love being a force of Nature.   )O(

Aroused and powerful,

trish


Review: Immortal Jade Glass G-Spot Dildo 10-Inch


The newest addition to my collection of toys is the Immortal Jade Glass G-Spot Dildo 10-Inch. While I really like the glass prostate toy I already have, the Jade caught my eye and has now won my heart… or at least, my prostate’s undying devotion.

My main problem with most toys (of any material) is the lack of a handle.  Knowing my vagina will lengthen to about 5 inches at the absolute most, I thought the Jade would give me plenty of length to hold on to for ease of use.

Choosing to get the Jade was based on several factors.  The toy is curved, so it would definitely stimulate my She Spot (what I call the G-Spot) as well as the rest of my female prostate.  The end is bulbous so it covers more surface area than a fingertip but is still smaller than a penis head.  The glass is super easy to clean and keep hygienic, and the Jade is also suitable for anal play.  One major reason for getting the Jade is to finally achieve full female ejaculation.

The Jade is slightly heavier than I’d thought it would be, but using it does not wear out my wrist or my shoulder.  Due to the curve, holding the toy at a specific angle is not necessary — it reaches the prostate on its own.  The Jade is only 1.5 inches at its widest point — the bulbous balls at the end of the “shaft.”  I couldn’t get the fist “ball” inside me, but feeling it at the opening of my vagina felt great.

The shaft has perpendicular glass ridges that seemed to stimulate my perineal sponge while the tip worked my prostate.  Nothing can replace the feeling of being filled by a penis (or my new penis toy), but the Jade seems to hit several spots simultaneously.

The three times I’ve used the Jade have been deliciously wonderful experiences which I’ll write up soon in a DailyOJ post.  I can say that the orgasms seemed to keep going, and the sounds I made were… unique.  When the orgasms began, I didn’t throw my arms over my head as soon as I usually do, meaning I could keep using the Jade to stimulate more orgasms.  For the after-O’s, I felt a strange “rippling” effect in my prostate that I don’t remember feeling before — ever.  As the full-body orgasmic waves kept hitting all over, microcosmic waves rippled and rippled at my prostate.  While I have not ejaculated in gushing form, I did did produce a lot of fluid during the session that flowed out continuously from the mid-way point onward.

For a prostate toy, the Jade is an excellent choice for many reasons.  Frankly, I can’t think of any other prostate or glass toy I will need for a while.  Perfect for the male prostate or female prostate, vaginal or anal play, the Immortal Jade Glass G-Spot 10-Inch is a great choice for your next toy.

trish

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DailyOJ 01-23-13, Part 2: Differences Using Glass Toy & Crying Emotional Uterine Orgasms


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
woman-clit-glass-dildo-sex-toy* Read Part 1 *

My only problem with the knees up position is that it tires out my hip flexors, and frankly, it’s rather a tight fit with my arms squished in between my breasts and my thighs — but I manage. I’ll use pillows to support my knees/legs next time. I almost laugh at seeing (and really feeling!) my feet shaking as arousal of my prostate kicks in.

As I get near the climax, the sensations are very different than with my penis-shaped toy, a.k.a, “Sparkles,” and the series of orgasms/climax itself is different as well. I had a similar feeling to the first time I orgasmed with the glass toy — I wasn’t sure if I “liked” the orgasms it induced (with clit stim), then I realized this time around that I was judging the orgasms, as if I were expecting the orgasms to be the same as they are with Sparkles.

After using the glass toy with my knees up, I’m really beginning to appreciate how the experience is completely different — I think I was waiting for the arousal sensations and the orgasmic progress to be the same as hands-on blended O’s or penetration orgasms. Now that I’m familiar with the sensations brought on by the firm, directional “touch” of the glass female prostate toy, I am loving learning the various feelings that are evoked — and especially the longer “finish” since my hands and wrists aren’t as tired.

The sounds I make are also much different than using the penis-y toy or using my hands. I seem to have different moans for each style of stimulation as well as for each level of arousal. The sounds I make with the glass toy are mid-way between the soft “Oooooo’s” and “Ahhhh’s” of the hands-on blended O’s and the much more guttural, louder (loud!) exclamations of the penetrative stimulation.

My one concern was that the emotional after-cry would be absent since the crying, uterine orgasms tend to be triggered by the deep, fast, filling thrust of the penis toy. The first time I used the glass toy like this a couple weeks ago, there was emotion but no crying, and yes, I felt “disappointed.” But every time since then the emotions/orgasms have produced crying immediately, intense crying that emanates from my heart/torso not my genitals. I curl up into a ball, rocking side to side from the intensity of the crying — which I now consider to be part of my orgasmic process since it is such a strong release of… something…

Today was no different. Using the glass toy, I was able to stim more orgasms than usual until I just couldn’t keep my hands from going up over my head any longer. The deeply felt crying was immediate and surprising, yet so very welcome. When I first started having these crying uterine orgasms, they only happened with the penis toy, then I was able to experience them with hands-on stimulation. Having these overwhelmingly emotional orgasms with the glass toy means these insanely intense orgasms are available to me regardless of the method of delivery — penis, glass, hands, etc. Which is quite a relief, actually. I think everyone is a little nervous about using a new toy or being with a new partner because you’re not quite sure what the experience or the results will be.

Another cool factoid about today’s orgasm episode is that my prostate creamed all over the glass toy. When I pulled it out to look at it, I had frothy prostate juice on my arm, my hands, and the toy was covered. Awesome!

Yes, my orgasms are coming along very nicely. Onward to the next adventure!

Aroused and exploring!

trish

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DailyOJ 07-29-12: Opening the Vagina for Sex


As my fingertips parted the opening of my vagina for the entry of the afternoon tampon, I had a sudden flashback to the days when I had sex — with that asshole husband of mine. So I’m slightly hormonal right now. I could really use a hug — and my pizza — if the fucking pizza guy would fucking hurry up and fucking deliver my fucking pizza already! And there’s no reason for this post except that I — Oh, brownies!

Where was I?

Oh, yes, fingers — vagina — tampon……

One of the great things about having spontaneous and stealth orgasms is that I no longer have to fight the urge to clit stim an O while I’m on my period. Sure, sex and masturbating while on my period are fun — a little slippery and messy, but doable with a towel and the understanding that the cervix is tender so hard fucking probably isn’t gonna happen — sorry, guys, will have to be  * s  l  o  w *  sex, which means it probably will be emotional. That’s not a problem is it?  Is it?!  IS IT?! — What? They don’t do that in porn???  FUCK PORN!

Okay, so most women will not admit to masturbating with a tampon in, but let’s just assume that at least once in her life, a woman has.

Where is that fucking pizza?!

So I have this flashback to this time (one of several) when I was on top and his hands went from my hips to maneuvering a not so subtle reach-around where his fingertips parted my vaginal opening so he could come inside. I didn’t say anything at the time — I should have — but not only does that feel WEIRD, it can also kinda hurt. ASSHOLE!

Here’s the thing… My vagina is smarter than you.

My vagina is an amazing world that still astounds me. She has her own fauna and flora system, her own pH, her own nerve system that bypasses the spinal cord and plugs directly into the brain, is capable of several different kinds of orgasms, different kinds of lubricating fluids, and she’s just fun to play in.

However…. if the vagina isn’t ready for sex — fully, completely ready for sex — she will not be fully open. A vagina that is truly ready for insertion will be literally O P E N — regardless if the insertible is a penis, sex toy, finger, or oblong vegetable! The juices will be flowing, the tissues of the labia and the vagina swollen with arousal, and the opening of the vagina can even be slightly turned outward toward the insert-er as if to say, “My vagina says YES! Come on in!”

Bear in mind that for many women those bits of odd-shaped edges at the vaginal opening are actually the remnants of the hymen. As such, they don’t have any means of getting wet on their own. This is an excellent example of trickle-down lubrication. Vaginal fluid is clear and most easily created by stimulation of the A-Spot near the cervix. The prostate also creates fluid, but it is thicker and less slippery than the clear vaginal fluid. These fluids have to literally “trickle down” to the opening of the vagina in order for the opening to be lubricated as well. So splitting the vaginal opening with the tip of a finger, penis, toy, or cucumber when the vagina is NOT ready for sex can be awkward for the woman, if not downright PAINFUL.

So guys, please… “Foreplay” actually has a function. Foreplay does not exist to make the guy wait to come inside. Without foreplay or some kind of stimulation that really gets the vagina hot and bothered, the beginning of sex can be painful.  (And you perhaps wonder why a woman is a “cold fish” during sex???!!! Just “lays there”????!!!  Well, that happens when your body radiates with pain, asshole!)

Just 15 to 30 minutes of breast worship, sensual massage, yoni puja, and/or cunnilingus will do just fine. The time required will depend on the woman, but since, statistically, the average guy only lasts 2 minutes once he’s inside, I’d think you men would want to drag out the foreplay as much as possible, too.

Please note, however, that a little fluid at the gates doesn’t mean the whole vagina is ready. For me, a few quick stealth O’s only takes seconds to experience, and I can feel the rush of fluid press against the opening tissues. I part the opening carefully with my fingertips — with very short, trimmed nails, thank you! I feel the texture of the fluid and know what kind of fluid it is — usually clear, vaginal. But just being wet doesn’t mean my vagina’s ready for my purple silicone friend, Sparkles.

Men, I love you. Honest. And because you love us, do your woman a favor. Just because you’re ready to come inside doesn’t mean her vagina is ready for company. Enjoy the rest of her — her body, her mind, her sense of humour, her emotions, her humanity — and remember that the woman is more than just a warm, wet respite for your erection.

Fuck… I’ll just make Chess Chewies.

Aroused and opening,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
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DailyOJ 05-18-12, Part 2: Double-Dipping, Echoes, & Out-of-Body Heartgasms


* Read Part 1 here. *

So my body was buzzing from the early morning’s activities, and I did my duties for work (theatre writing) and continued plotting my domination of the world via Musical Theatre.  My 12:30 p.m. alarm announced it was time for KSMO practice, and after a few snoozes o’ the alarm, off I went to hit the shower before hitting the bed to enjoy my second helping of orgasmic bliss.

I did my 20-minue KSMO practice, trying to do the single caressing (epic fail, I like constant caressing — go figure!), and still trying to get the vocalization just right.  While having sex (solo or partnered) is not recommended on KSMO practice days, I was just horny.  And the morning’s session had left me wanting the vaginal O part of a blended orgasm.

To stimulate my prostate, I started with the glass wand.  I have had some amazing developments with the prostate stimulation.  Though the clit is known for producing sudden, heated, fireworks, the She Spot (G-Spot) is known to be a slow-burner of arousal — deceptively slow, incredibly deep, full, filling arousal.  For me, the vaginal stimulation now brings this full-body, core arousal much more quickly than it used to.  (So ladies, if you’ve never done prostate stimulation because you’ve heard it takes a long time to get aroused, give it a try on a regular basis.  Your body will probably “calibrate” to this stimulation and start getting aroused more quickly with steady practice!)

Some of the 18 distinct parts of the Clitoris.

With my prostate warmed up, I started the simultaneous clit stim.  Since starting KSMO, I can use a lot less stimulation on my clit.  I may start off with circles, but I usually end up doing long strokes from just above the clitoral hood down to the outer labia.  Nowadays, I’ll often start with some OM clit fingering, and that really gets those clitoral nerves humming. And frankly, my clit was sore from this morning.

I switched to my penisy vibrator (sans vibration) so I could rock out my A-Spot.  Because I’m already extremely aroused, the fullness of the vibrator hits all the “spots” and “zones” in the vagina. And I shudder, a full-body shudder.  (Actually, I think it’s an orgasm, a full-body O as the vibe goes in, but  that’s just my perception of it.)

Public service announcement: Guys, THIS is why you should spend 15 to 30 minutes on “foreplay”!  Once aroused, there isn’t a spot in the vagina that isn’t ready to orgasm with a little extra love.  Doing this will help bring up the horrible statistics that about 70% of women NEVER orgasm during penetrative sex!!!

During the journey to orgasm, I noticed I kept stopping all stimulation.  I have no idea why.  I didn’t plan on this or consciously decide to stop.  It just sort of happened.  My body seemed to know what it wanted and how it wanted it.  I would stop both hands momentarily just to feel the effects of the stimulation.  For some reason, I kept doing this — both hands stimulating, pausing to feel, stimulating  pausing, feeling… over and over and over.  Each time, I moaned,a little higher pitched than usual — I even had the observationist critique of “Gee, I sound cheezy!”  But I didn’t care.  This letting the body take over was new for me, and it was delicious!  Each time while pausing, I could feel sensations bubbling up and expanding not into orgasm (at the moment) but brewing something bigger, thicker, deeper.

The orgasms were incredible, and I had the thought at that moment, that I would hate to see what I looked like during this frantic madness.  No orgies for me!  :P

Normally, the post-orgasm emotion begins 5 to 10 seconds after the orgasms, and even then, the emotion/tears begin softly, quickly building in intensity to full-out crying, then fading. Usually afterward, I wind up laughing at myself because I feel kind of ridiculous over the whole thing.  (Jung might say I’m in ego, but after letting loose, moaning, howling, and crying, I think getting back in ego might be a good thing so I can get on with my day!)

Today, the emotion hit instantly.  In fact, I was barely through the last orgasm when the crying erupted from me, forcibly bringing up emotions from my core.  I know uterine orgasms are emotional, but this was raw and primal.  I felt emotionally pummeled.  I have no idea where it came from.  I can only surmise that the catharsis of writing my breasts article and the subsequent good response touched me or knocked loose something that needed to be — could only be — released through deep, full-body, full-emotion, body/spirit integrated orgasm.

Now, I usually am so relaxed or so exhausted by this point that I doze off into a light sleep.  I’ll doze about 15 minutes, roll over, and doze another 15 minutes.  I’ll then lay there to feel what’s going on in my body — usually, echoes are still going on.  For me, I define echoes as the after-orgasms — possibly a series of orgasms in their own right — that are contractions of the genitals and lower core: vagina, anus, cervix dipping down, clit throbbing, blood pulsating through the inner and outer labia, even my lower abdominals, and definitely my glutes still clenching, etc.  I’ve noticed my hips will continue to rock well after the orgasm spectacular is over.  These echoes/contractions go on for a half hour to an hour.

Today, I fell asleep almost immediately.  I think I was emotionally as well as physically exhausted from the session.  Not to mention the 90-minute session I’d had earlier that morning.  (And people wonder why I won’t work out at a gym?!)  But this was no light snooze.  This was a hard sleep.  In fact, I slept for over an hour.  When I woke up, I looked at the clock and would have jumped out of bed if I’d had the energy.  Which was another strange feeling — normally I feel energized and buzzy at this point.  But not today.  I was tired.  And I had a weird feeling in my chest wall.

I first experienced heartgasms last Fall.  Sometimes, people feel heartgasms as sudden happiness that makes them clutch their hands to their heart, or they feel as if an orgasm has just happened IN the heart area.  My heartgasms were/are similar.  Mostly, I feel a sudden buzzing in my chest wall/rib cage, as if my inner/astral me is trying to burst out of my physical body and go back to the spirit plane.  (If you’re not into astral stuff and don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll have to explain this in another post.)

What I felt today was a strong tug-of-war between my body and my inner/astral me that was trying to escape, to return to the spirit plane, or at least the Land of Orgasm.  If I were a 60 year-old man, a smoker, or ate fried foods, I might think I was having a heart attack.  Glad it was just an orgasm! :P

This tug-of-war happening at my chest wall/rib cage went on for hours.  It was less intense once I had to go back to pretending I’d worked all day long and did other responsible stuff.  :D  But the sensations were still there.  And in my genitals, I stil had the feeling of the bubbling up, expanding, full, hot, pulsating, buzz, and echoes.

I don’t like this in-between feeling.  I want to definitely be somewhere — definitely here or definitely there.  Though I guess if I’m definitely there, I’d be dead.  Another insight into why the French term for orgasm is “la petite mort” — the little death.  And maybe why we keep returning to arousal and orgasm to experience the Other Side if only briefly.

C’est la vie.

Aroused and somewhere,

trish

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DailyOJ 05-15-12: Nipple Sensitivity & Energy in My Legs


In the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to get back into the KSMO thing. After the debacle (with a couple of morons) on the forum, I didn’t do anything KSMO for 2 months.  In the interim, I finally tried Om-ing and was shocked by the fabulous results I had with it as well as went a couple rounds with my new glass prostate wand and have loved playing with that ever since.

Oddly enough, I began to experience painful sensitivity in my nipples. Not the whole breasts, just the nipples.  This was horribly sad because I have begun to rely on nipple stim as the appetizer that leads to the entree of arousal and delectable orgasmic desert(s) later on.  Also, since beginning a regular-ish practice of sensual massage, I’ve found my hands on my breasts almost constantly whenever I’m naked.  (That may seem weird, but since I spent most of my life hating my breasts, I’m actually just getting to know them.)

Nipple stimulation leads to a cervical, Kundalini orgasm in 10 to 30 seconds.  If I continue the nipple and breast stimulation (as I’m wont to do), I can even get aroused enough to experience what author Diana Richardson calls the “YES!” of vaginal arousal, where the vaginal opening (the clitoral cuff of the PC muscles) opens and a finger or toy slides right in — no wiggling past the fleshy opening necessary to enter.  The first time I felt my vagina open like that, it was as if my vulva was sighing a sweet, “Ahhhhh….”  It felt amazing.  Since then, I can sense when my vagina is open like that, waiting to be entered by… something.  In fact, I’ve found myself awakening in the middle of the night from a sexual-infused dream and without touching my shaved vulva, I can tell I’m fully opened and in “YES!” mode.

With little notice, my nipples became painfully sensitive a few weeks ago.  Even the air flow from the ceiling fan was painful.  This made me pay attention to the rest of the breast (which, admittedly, is overlooked by men as well).  I can only surmise that the pain was related to my hormonal cycles — it began a week after my period, through ovulation (think I caught the egg this month!), and a week after.  This past week has been miraculously back to normal in sensation.  However, the cervical O’s only came back in the last day or two, and they’re not as strong — but I did notice that the intensity is building back.  Will have to work on those. :)

As for the energy in my legs, I don’t have much to report other than I’ve noticed weird pulsating, energy zaps down the backs of my legs recently.  It feels like contractions (but not like a leg cramp).  It’s as if it’s building energy, starting in my lower glutes/upper hamstrings and down to my calves.  Strong sensations but not unpleasant.

I had full-body O’s during this last session with lots of energy in my legs — which is great because my legs are strong and tend to be very active during the last phase of arousal (shaking profusely) and during orgasms themselves (kicking out, pulling up, kicking out again, etc.).  I can even feel my prostate coming back to life, which had also gone dormant in recent months.

As for regular orgasms, I’ve had my orgasms in the past few weeks, but they hadn’t been as satisfying as I’ve become accustomed since last Fall.  I don’t know if this is related to the nipple pain or not. The breasts are indeed the gateway to orgasm (for me, anyway), so that may have been the cause for (what I consider) the lackluster orgasms — they were localized to the genitals, and even when they extended upward, they weren’t full-body… more … one-hit of orgasm, but not even an explosion.  (Yes, this was with blended O stim.)

On the brighter side, I woke up from some sensual dream at 3:45 a.m. today, and unable to sleep, I laid in bed as I do with my legs spread open and massaged my breasts and labia.  It was fabulous.  I can’t count the number of cervical O’s I had with the breast stimulation, and even had a couple of energy zings from minor OM clit stimulation.

Will have to see where all this leads next… Being on my period, I won’t be able to play inside until Saturday or Sunday… well, I could, but man, I hate the “Clean up, aisle 12″ scenario.  Guess it’s just me and my breasts till then!

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 03-26-12: Glass Toy Attempt #2 Ends With Success!


I just wrote up my review for the Don Wands Pink Bent Graduate glass dildo, but I thought I would also describe my experience with using it, in case it helps other women (or men) figuring out how to use a toy such as this.

I recently bought another penis-shaped vibrator that turned out to be huge — it’s something that might be standard fare at one of Caligula’s horse parties.  Thus, it is rarely used.  My usual penis-shaped vibrator is a great size and fits well in my hand.  It is my usual go-to appendage when I’m feeling like using a toy, as opposed to “all hands on deck,” which is another renewed hobby and fabulously satisfying. (Note:  I don’t use the vibration as I am a Recovering Vibratoraholic.  In fact, they don’t even have batteries in them.)

The first time I used the Don Wands Pink Bent Graduate in Glass, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it since it isn’t “full” in shape like a penis-shaped toy. It isn’t that long, either, so there is no sense of “fullness” at all, which left me to wonder why the heck bother?  Except that from everything I’ve read about female ejaculation, being “full” actually compresses the prostate which prevents the release of the prostatic fluid/ejaculate.

I must have been in a hurry that day, because I gave up on the glass dildo and went for my usual toy.  Changing in midstream did effect the outcome, but not in a good way.  Of course, I orgasmed, but it wasn’t the blended O’s I’m used to achieving.  Frankly, it was a weird overall feeling.

This glass dildo had apparently awakened parts of me that don’t normally get aroused — either because my fingers aren’t long enough to reach inside or the penisy toys are too full and not as “directional” as the smaller glass dildo.  So switching toys meant the newly stimulated areas of my anatomy were no longer getting attention as my usual hotspots began to get turned on by my usual toy and usual stimulation .

Saturday night, I reached for this glass dildo for its sophomoric performance, determined to just allow and feel, and this must have been the right mindset.  I got into the groove of using this toy and felt sensations in the anterior part of the vagina immediately, so I knew it really was affecting my prostate.

I realized that the emphasis of the movement needs to be different that using a penisy toy.  I sometimes use just the head of the penisy toy to stimulate my prostate because it has a slight curve to the shaft, and that feels great. But because of the dirth and rigidity of the toy, it “feels” as if it’s hitting too broad an area and not providing localized stimulation of the prostate.  (Don’t ask me to explain that.  This is my experiential observation, so it’s not up for scientific review or the third degree.)

Rather than making the emphasis on the thrust inward (as we’re so used to doing), I made more of a dragging upward and outward motion, and THAT was the key to using this glass dildo.  Doing this perfectly strokes the various parts of my She Spot zone as well as puts pressure on my actual prostate.  It reached the very back of the She Spot area, where the ridgy prostate area melds into the silky smooth anterior wall of the vagina — this is about the limit of where my fingers can reach most of the time.  I also really liked the fact that I could move the glass dildo side to side and feel those sensations as it moves horizontally across the She Spot zone.  (Yes,  a woman CAN feel different movements in the upper part of the vagina).

Long story short (I’d hate to bore you with all the details :-), I again felt sensations specifically to my prostate area that I haven’t experienced since November.  The feeling of needing to urinate hit several times, so I knew I was on the right track.  I get the sensation of the need to urinate during my usual practice, but this was much more intense and insistent, and the feeling happened repeatedly throughout — welcome signs, for sure!

I pushed out several times to help encourage the flow of juices, and though I didn’t actually ejaculate, I do think I might achieve full-on female ejaculation if I keep practicing with this toy.  That feeling of “Yes, I’m about to ejaculate!!  Oh, no, I’m about to ejaculate — and soak the bed, and scare the neighbors with my orgiastic screams of delight” inner conflict might have been the trigger that stopped me from hitting the ejac jackpot.

Now in harmony with how this guy operates, I had a series of delicious orgasms that were familiar and yet new, and yet harkened back to what I felt in November.  This was my first time using the glass toy all the way through to orgasm, and it more than proved its worth.  I feel that I’m once again at the threshold of awakened prostate orgasm glory, and I’m taking this glass dildo with me to the other side.

I woke up the next morning, and was inspired to try both dildos again to see if I could transition without losing emerging sensations and arousal.  I’m happy to report, that yes, indeed, starting with the glass toy and switching to the penisy toy can be done very successfully.  I enjoyed the numerous orgasms induced by the session and even went back for seconds while the aftershocks here still in high gear (about 10 minutes later), starting a new series of orgasms and palpable aftershocks / contractions of every part of my sexual organs and my abdominals for almost an hour.  Now, this how you spend a lazy day in bed.

Another much welcomed sensation occured this morning, as I was sitting in my office chair and felt my prostate give a few pulses — sensations I haven’t felt in months.  This was a “Eureka!” moment, and this is the main reason I will keep using the Don Wands Pink Bent Graduate in Glass.  Though I know my prostate and She Spot are alive and well thanks to the ability to have my blended orgasms — I can feel the changes in size and texture to my She Spot zone when I use my fingers to stimulate her — I want the truly awakened prostate feelings I had a few months ago.  And it seems, I may have finally found the missing ingredient to this orgasmic recipe for stirring my prostate to life.

Aroused and journaling,
trish

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REVIEW: Pink Bent Graduate Dildo Wand


My first toy review!

The Don Wands Pink Bent Graduate in Glass is a handy-dandy unassuming piece of glass, and actually, quite a thrill.  Its design is geared toward stimulation of the She Spot/prostate, and it reportedly, induces female ejaculation, so of course, I bought it.

Having given up the vibration addiction a while back (which is something I wholeheartedly recommend to everyone!), I’ve been on a journey to re-learn my body’s inner recesses, both the feeling of the tissues themselves as well as the sensations that stimulating my various spots and zones make me feel in turn.

In my quest to revive my prostate that soared to life in November then fizzled over the holidays, I have searched for a new toy that is prostate/G-spot specific rather than another man-in-silicone toy.  This glass type of dildo is supposedly the key to the female ejaculation holy grail.  Time will only tell if this in fact is true (for me).

The first time I used it, I really didn’t give it a chance, but the second time, I absolutely realized this dude’s potential as I described in this post.

Because it’s made of glass, this dildo is great from a hygiene perspective.  It is only 8.5″ in total length, but not all of that goes inside all at once, and it’s only 1.25″ in diameter.

Another great feature of this dildo is actually its double feature — it is double-ended.  For vaginal play, the single bulbous end makes a great handle while the multi-sphered end hits all the spots of the prostate.

For women and men interested in exploring anal play for the first time, the smaller bulbous end would be a great intro to exploring your previously exit-only orifice.  For the more advanced anal aficionado, the larger end — with its differently shaped spheres — might make for an exceptional plug.  (Note:  Any anal play requires lots of lube, patience, and safe-sex practices like condoms — or even finger cots for this toy.  Never use a toy in the vagina that has been in the anus without a thorough cleaning!)

I’m loving this Don Wands Pink Bent Graduate in Glass, and I can’t wait to use it again. If you’re a woman on the quest to find your She Spot/prostate or searching for the female ejaculation jackpot, I heartily recommend getting this glass dildo!

Aroused and pulsating,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


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