Arts, Activism, Awakening in Mind, Body, & Spirit

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OpEd: Why You Should Schedule Sex On a Regular Basis


schedule tantric sex alarm arousedwoman 2014There’s an old joke in the performing arts: “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” Answer: “Practice, practice, practice.”

Today, I read a great post by the awesome sexual health writer August McLaughlin in which she responded to a HuffPo piece about why couples need to schedule sex — with one of the reasons being to boost the man’s ego.  In her response piece, August gives her reasons why a couple might not want to have regularly scheduled sex — she advocates having sex when you want to, and her points regarding that particular HuffPo scenario are solid.  Women should not feel compelled to have sex just to soothe a man’s delicate ego.  We put up with enough of that outside the bedroom.  But the concept of scheduled sex actually ties in to my own orgasmic practice and my approach with helping others realize their orgasmic potential.

I wholeheartedly endorse regularly scheduled sex, especially at the beginning of a relationship, as long as both people enter the process honestly and equally.  When a couple has made the leap from hand-holding to sex, there is so much to learn about each other’s bodies.  The newness of the relationship should make arousal very easy with all those lovey-dovey hormones drowning your brain in bliss-vibes.  Once the relationship is established, life and work and kids tend to take priority.  That alone is a great reason to have regularly scheduled sex-time, to make sure you have that consistent connection that centers you both back to why you’re together in the first place.

And before dissenters blast me with “But sex shouldn’t be the basis of the relationship!”  Well, then, you’ll have to explain 500 million years of evolutionary procreation and a big chunk of human biology, anthropology, psychology, and sexology.  Sex is imperative to a good relationship, and at the foundation of both sex and the relationship is communication.  Bad sex can often be attributed to bad communication.  And even if you can’t have traditional sexual activity due to a disability or medical condition, there are alternatives; so yes, persons with disabilities can have enjoyable, satisfying sexual experiences.  My point is that lovemaking can improve with regularly scheduled “training sessions”, or as I call them, “awakening sessions”.  (Remember, part of the definition of “arouse” is “to awaken”.)

Sex with yourself as well as with a new partner should be scheduled to happen on a regular schedule, preferably daily.  Unless you’re blessed to have an Orgasm Faery guarantee your arousal and climax, regular sexual activity is required to keep the body in orgasm-mode.  The intent of the “awakening sessions” is to awaken the body and your capacity for increasing your orgasmic response.

The word “orgasm” comes from the Greek orgasmos and means “to swell”, therefore true orgasm is NOT the sudden release at the end of arousal.  Technically, orgasm is happening throughout arousal with the climax being a sudden swelling and release of muscular tension.  For many, this release is very physical, but for some this release is full-body and emotional as well.  This is most confusing for men, who associate orgasm with ejaculation, even though these are different actions from different parts of the autonomic nervous system.  High school sex education classes still teach that men “must” orgasm to expel semen for procreation.  This is wrong — ejaculation is required for expelling sperm. Ask any man who’s ever needed Viagra, and he can tell you that orgasmic pleasure and ejaculation are not necessarily one and the same.  (But that is a whole other blog post.)  Because of the misperception of what orgasm actually is, men especially miss out on many orgasms during the arousal period because they don’t know to separate the subtle orgasm response from the explosive ejaculatory reflex.  Men who have mastered non-ejaculatory climax orgasms love being able to have multiple climatic orgasms in one lovemaking session.

This brings me to another point.  Get rid of the goal of orgasm.  Men are taught to be very goal-oriented, which is why they can miss so many good feelings during the journey to climax.  Men also are under the incorrect myth that women have more capacity for sexual arousal and more orgasms than men.  This is not true on the subtle body level.  Men have the same capacity as women for hours of orgasmic bliss, especially if the man has learned ejaculation control.  If so, the whole session is a swelling of pleasure, wave after wave of orgasms, and multiple climatic experiences with no refractory period necessary.  The orgasms just keep building until he’s ready to stop.

But how do you get to that point of awakening?  The same way you get to Carnegie Hall: practice, practice, practice.  How do you work that practice into your busy life?  Schedule, schedule, schedule.

Because I come from a Tantrik perspective, I am an advocate of regular, scheduled practice for a number of reasons but mainly because awakening the subtle body is a meditative practice for me.

Orgasm is a learned response, and your body needs regular practice to become proficient.  Yes, there are times when orgasm happens by itself, but that is not the case for most women, considering so many women have never orgasmed during penetrative sex.  Orgasm is a dual response: the physical body and the subtle body.  Most men know how to jerk off, and most women know how to rub their clit to soreness.  That does not ensure an ecstatic experience.  I think we’ve all experienced at some time or another the physical orgasm that was just located to the genitals, and we somehow felt disappointed.

Today, in fact, is the day my daughter heads back to school, and I am finally alone at home again, something I don’t have on a regular basis when school is out for summer.  Every summer since my initial awakening, my practice is minimal to non-existent due to privacy issues (thin walls … I’m loud).  During these nearly three months of little to no practice, I can most definitely tell a difference in my arousal levels, my “swelling” responses, and the intensity of my climaxes.  I still have spontaneous orgasms and my stealth O’s, but going nearly three months without my super-orgasms is like being accustomed to a daily round of the 1812 Overture but having to settle for Twinkle Twinkle Little Star instead.  Not cool!  Thank goddess, school is back on!

No one would tell a wannabe concert pianist that he should practice only when he really has the urge to play.  He would never become proficient enough to call himself a concert pianist, much less to play a gig at Carnegie Hall without dedicated, routine practice.  When it comes to orgasms, we have to practice regularly, learning how to play our body as an instrument of pleasure the way a musician plays a piano or oboe or guitar with expertise and ease.

hug from behindAs I teach my clients, the subtle body is the real wonder when it comes to orgasmic fulfillment.  But awakening the subtle body requires specific steps done repeatedly and routinely over a span of time.  Yes, you schedule your orgasm-awakening sessions the same way you schedule your daily shower or your gym workout or having dinner ready by a certain time.  Have your sessions at the same time, preferably daily, but at least three times per week, and under the same circumstances.  As with any exercise, routine repetition allows the body and more importantly THE MONKEY MIND to know, “Oh, we’re doing this now. Okay,” and settling into that higher bliss state begins to happen more quickly and more effortlessly.  Then, when you’re in the moment with a partner, you have a reference for where you want to be in your arousal and you can get there more quickly — you’ve done your practice, practice, practice, and now you’re ready for Carnegie Hall.  Orgasm becomes not just one major release, i.e., climax, but a true swelling of sensations and experiences that grow and expand exponentially for hours if you want, until you’re ready to come down from that higher bliss state; and even then the long, slow descent can be as throbbing, undulating, and breathtaking as the journey upward.

When we do not practice our sexual-ness and sensual-ness and awakening-ness in a dedicated, routine practice, our sexual response lessens.  Regular arousal can even lessen.  Arousal and even vaginal fluid are dependent upon hormones; if you neglect keeping your hormones happy, your hormones won’t be there to keep you happy.

For most people, their sexual “practice” is sporadic, and yet they expect Carnegie Hall-worthy orgasms to result.  And when the arousal and/or the climax is less than what was hoped for, people often turn to other means of artificially increasing the odds via vibrators and/or porn, neither of which helps your body awaken to its own amazing potential.  Vibrators can damage the nerves, and porn keeps you in your fantasies in your head when your focus should be entirely on your body and the awakening responses to stimulation.

For a couple, scheduling regular awakening sessions can be a much-needed time to learn each other’s bodies.  After all, do you automagically know what to do with a penis if you’ve never had lots of time to play with one?  Do you know what to do with a vagina if you’ve never had a languid evening to explore inside one?  An awakening session is for the awakening — orgasm may or may not happen.  However, the more you do it, the more likely spontaneous orgasms will be a regular part of the experience.  This greatly benefits the orgasmic response during lovemaking as well as deepening the bond between partners.  No stress, just exploration and awakening.  Though, I would be very surprised if such juicy exploration and discovery didn’t lead to sex.  (Enjoy!)

In some Tantric traditions, scheduling sex on a daily basis is an important part of learning and growing and sharing.  Some teachers have clients set aside a week or 14 days or even 21 days to do nothing but make love.  If they aren’t going to the bathroom or eating a meal, they’re making love.  There is something deeply intimate and intense that happens when you are that committed to being so connected with another person.  For most people, this kind of “sexcation” is impossible to arrange, but it is possible to schedule that hour per day when it’s just the two of you: awakening, sharing, and loving.

Approach the awakening session as an active meditation.  Allow and receive.  Let the subtle body do its thing.  Relearn what it means to orgasm and feel pleasure.  Soon, you’ll have orgasms while walking down the street, shopping at the grocery store, standing in line at the post office.  You’ll have laugh-gasms, heart-gasms, foot-gasms, scalp-gasms, face-gasms, arm-gasms, soul-gasms, and more-gasms — all of which will enrich your lovemaking as a couple.  As you progress with your daily, scheduled practice, you will learn a whole new respect for the wisdom of the body as it takes you to levels of pleasure that are unimaginable until you actually experience them. Have you ever had a climatic orgasm so powerful, you could feel that you were the universe?  You could feel all of eternity with your fingertips?  I have.  And you can, too.

Now, get out your calendar and commit to daily awakening sessions for at least a week, but preferably for one month. You’ll be amazed how you’ve grown orgasmically in so short a time!

Aroused and practicing,

trish

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Tantra: Out With the Old, In With the Older


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

Shri_Yantra_Tantra_MeditationThose of you who have followed my orgasm journal have read about my path to becoming a multi-orgasmic and spontaneously orgasmic woman.  I’ve experienced all sorts of -gasms from multiple orgasms, heart-gasms, leg-gasms, nipple-gasms, urination-gasms, labia-gasms — you name it, my body has -gasmed there.

I embarked on this journey as a means of healing from sexual abuse as a child, rape as an adult, and a miserable marriage.  I just wanted to be able to feel sensation in my clit again after doing damage from vibrators — and to be able to orgasm during sex, a seemingly impossible feat I never accomplished with a partner.  Since starting this path via research, trial and error, and a few different “methods,” I have experienced orgasms, emotions, and awakenings physically and emotionally that I never dreamed were possible.  Along the way, I’ve made mistakes and had revelations, and it has all been one big learning experience.

I had begun a practice about a year ago that is essentially breathing, sound, and touch — supposedly, a protocol “discovered” by accident.  I now feel that this is inaccurate, since combining breathing, sound, and touch is an ancient practice to awaken the subtle body, to trigger the energy fields of the meridians, and to rewire the parasympathetic nervous system.

After all, orgasm is both a physical event and an energy event.  Different systems are activated to bring about each kind of orgasm.

In documenting my journey, I was able to go back and see what I did, when, the circumstances of my emotions at the time, any physical factors, as well as my experiences with the protocol itself, and how it affected me.  (THIS is why journaling is so important — not necessarily at the time of the experience, but it can be very important later.)  Looking back, I noticed that I did everything exactly opposite of what was given in the “protocol,” and when I tried to do it correctly, I hurt my voice or didn’t experience as much as when I did it “wrong.”  Mostly, though, when doing it “wrong,” I experienced huge leaps forward in my orgasmic journey, and I knew that I was doing a practice that was centuries old, a Tantric type of breathing meditation with sound that awakens the body, the mind, and even the spirit/consciousness self.

Incorporating sensual massage and my solo version of the OM clit technique took my orgasmic experiences to a new level.  Learning to love my breasts and starting to accept my body as she is has been healing in many ways, not the least of which has been the change in how I make love to myself.

Over the past year, as I began to sink a little too deep into Yin energy personally while expending inordinate amounts of Yang energy during the push to the 2012 POTUS election (combating GOP repressive crap), I experienced the sexual downward cycles that follow every sexual upsurge high.  I no longer craved manually stimulated orgasms or solo sex sessions.  I could do barely-there nipple stim or gentle clit and labia stim and have those orgasms and be perfectly happy.  I began to fear I was losing my sex drive.  Now, as I am again experiencing changes in my orgasms (that I will write up soon), I have left that other protocol behind and have begun firmly on a Tantric path.

I have started working with a Tantric teacher in Miami, and I am so very happy to be on this path.  The program takes a minimum of six years to complete, so it is definitely a commitment.  At this time, it feels right, and I hope to be able to complete it.  I can’t wait to see what I experience in six months, a year, five years from now by working with a real Tantric.  I know that sounds like forever to some of you, but in the past couple of years I’ve learned that it takes time to process and integrate the new awakenings of the subtle body with the physical body and the emotional and psychological aspects of our selves.

Tantra is a beautiful journey of awareness, transformation, and expansiveness, not the sex orgy touted by “gurus” and media for tabloid fodder… though sex is certainly improved by Tantra consciousness being present.

As Georg Feuerstein says in Tantra, The Path of Ecstasy:

“It is no accident that true Tantric practitioners are called “heroes” (vira), because they must navigate in treacherous waters that demand constant vigilance and great inner strength…. There are no shortcuts, and the quest for quick fixes and weekend enlightement is merely one of the symptoms of the kali-yuga, governed by delusion and greed.”

I think I will be blogging my experiences here, so stay tuned.

trish

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AskTrish: Stop Ejaculating and Have Multiple Orgasms Already


Chakra-aura-orgasm-energy-systemA little something different from the usual AskTrish post

While posting pics on my ArousedWoman Tumblr page, I came across a post on another Tumblr page in which a querent (I’m assuming male) asked:  “when i masturbate and i hit orgasm once i cant have another one why not ? am i doing something wrong ?”  The moderator responded: “no, not everyone is capable of multiple orgasms, that’s just the way it is…”

That is absolutely NOT TRUE — not even for men!

Ejaculating is a reflex, but it is a controllable reflex of the sympathetic nervous system.  Semen is ejected due to contractions by the bulbospongiosus muscle.  On a subtle body/spirit level, ejaculate is comprised of life force energy, and it takes an inordinate about of physical energy to produce and expel ejaculate from the body — hence the reason a guy is usually exhausted and needs a nap afterward.  Ejac expends energy, causing fatigue for the man.

In women, stimulating the clit, which is synonymous to the penis, gives a localized burst of tension release at the clitoris, but any kind of vaginal orgasm (prostate/She Spot, cervical/uterine, AFE, PFE, even perineal sponge) creates full-body waves of bliss that flow and flow and flow, like waves that repeatedly crash against a shore.  The clitoris is wired to the spinal cord via the pudendal nerve, but the vagina’s main nerve is the vagus nerve which bypasses the spinal cord and plugs directly into the brain.

Knowing how the body works physiologically helps in integrating the subtle energy body with the physical body, which leads to orgasms that literally blow your mind and everything you thought you knew about your body or orgasm.  Conjuring orgasm via an energy-based practice with the help of a little anatomy know-how creates orgasm experiences that feel like Big Bang explosions in your core and your head — not localized to just the genitals.

Orgasm is a response of the parasympathetic  nervous system.  Orgasm increases energy.  Many people use climaxing for muscle tension release before bed so they can get sleepy.  However, orgasm in an energy practice gives and expands energy.  From the Greek word, orgasmos, orgasm literally means “to swell.”  Orgasm is NOT the end of a sexual experience but one amazing part of the journey.  The end isn’t even “climax” but bliss, altered states of consciousness (no drugs needed!), awareness, and connection to self, your partner (if applicable), and the Universe.

ALL woman AND men are capable of multiple orgasms — FOR HOURS, days, weeks!  Live your whole life in an orgasmic state of energy bliss… Why not?!

People need to STOP the myths and lies about what is possible in orgasm.  ‘Cause I guaran-damn-tee MOST people have never experienced even an inkling of what orgasm can be.  They grew up jerking off to skin mags and probably learned most of what they know about sex from watching the fakery of porn and memorizing the stupidity of magazine sex quizzes while standing in line at the store.

They should stop giving advice and read my fucking blog already!

trish

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DailyOJ 10-19-12 Part 1: September & Crawling Out of Yin


I’ve been trying to figure out what is going on. And I’m not any closer to understanding what’s happened with my progress, except that what started out as a great upswing in August seems to have already begun the cycle downward.

September was, once again, a month of huge transition for me. On the good side, I gleefully entered Cougar-dom.  But personally, I was going through a lot that I can’t write about in a public manner like this (yet).  Last September, the end of my Karmic Year, heralded the end of an amazing year professionally, personally, and orgasmically, only to turn my bliss upside down with the death of my theatre mentor, my father had to have multiple operations, and my daughter was ill.  I’ve never noticed September to be such a gateway of abrupt change before.  Perhaps because change is already in the air each September with the arrival of Autumn, the end of (most) fears of bad hurricanes, my daughter’s new school year beginning, my birthday, and it is the month before Samhain (the Gaelic turn of the year and honoring of ancestors and those who have died).

With all the focus on my theatre writing career, getting ArousedWoman kicked into gear, my daughter starting high school, and other things that ground me in the mundane, I had felt the loss of that higher vibration that I’d been swimming in since September 2010.  That September, I had just moved out of my miserable marriage, was starting my new gig writing about theatre for a major online site, and began my journey on energy orgasmic awakening.  It was truly wonderful back then.  September 2010 to September 2011 was astounding and life-changing in so many ways.  September 2011 to September 2012 was wonderful, too, as well as trying and frustrating, but ultimately rewarding.

From an orgasmic point of view, my SASO’s (stealth and spontaneous orgasms) had not been so stealth or spontaneous.  The instant nipple-gasms were not so instant.  Granted, I no longer needed my O’s to be stealth — I’m home alone during the day again. But the nipple-gasms now took 30 seconds or so of stimulation to start the orgasm ball rolling — same with my not-so-spontaneous OM-clit orgasms.  Also, my body did not react the same to these orgasms.  My back arched but not as much or as suddenly as when these type of orgasms first began.  Nor were these orgasms fractal as they had been during the summer when I could literally have orgasms for hours just by barely touching my nipples or the upper left side of my clit, or even from the brush of air from the ceiling fan!  Compounding this, the after-O’s were not as strong nor lasted as long.  I was not having deskgasms, leg-gasms, heartgasms, urination-gasms, scalpgasms, or face-gasms.

It’s as if I somehow became unplugged from the multiverse’s orgasm channel.  I’d lost my ticket to the cosmic bliss train.

Is it the end of the world?  No.  Is it the end of my  world?  Quite possibly.  When everything else in my life is crazy and uncertain, having the bliss of my SASO’s was like a calm in the storm.

Now, I know the men reading this just want me to get back to talking about my vagina, or my clit, or anything other than what they probably consider “nagging.”  But as a woman, this mind fuzz is a big part of why women aren’t sexually satisfied.  We worry.  A lot.  The worry keeps us in the mundane when orgasms, particularly the energy-based orgasms, require the psyche and spirit to be free to lift up to a higher vibration, and by leaving the mundane physical behind, the body rises up to the higher vibration and, therefore, to true orgasm, rather than the person settling for climaxes that are limited to the manipulated reflexes of the mundane meat-suit.

In truth, I realized sometime during the summer that my over-allowance of Yin was affecting me adversely in my personal and even professional life.  I will write more on that at a later date, since I’m still crawling out of that experience.  But September 2012 was the lowest of the low points in regard to Yin taking over.  Life circumstances presented me with the choice of wallowing in a more self-destructive version of  Yin or begin the climb out and start fighting again.  At the time, I choose to climb and fight.  I lost the mundane battle, as I thought I would, but at least I fought, and that was a huge milestone for me in my journey toward balance.

Don’t get me wrong.  I had welcomed Yin — I was too extremely Yang in life, career, and sex.  I needed to learn to allow and to receive.  I appreciate the lessons learned from Yin.  However, somewhere between the allowing of Yin, the rising of sexual Chi through Tantra, the awakening of the Kundalini serpent, and the overall self-discovery of spontaneous cosmic bliss, my awareness pendulum had swung too far into the realm of Yin.  I was too much the observer and not the do-er, the receiver not the initiator.

This is crucial to understand because, for me, orgasms are no longer about sex, being sexual, or being physically, sexually satisfied, but rather, orgasm is about plugging into the super-consciousness, living in a higher vibration, and enjoying the lift-off to the Other Side.  Riding that wave is like leaving the body behind for a while and swimming in total awareness of the cosmos, surfing above the clouds in an energy that is almost indescribable.

All of these revelations were important to my growth.  They signify I have more work to do on my self.  This requires patience, acceptance, and time.  And that really sucks.

* Read Part 2 here. *

Aroused and climbing,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 08-24-12: Double-Dipping, Sporadic Awakening, & New Responses


Copyright 2012 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

I didn’t feel the need for laying in bed an hour or longer, to relax or process out mind noise.  I think I was “lying” broken” for less than half an hour, doing my SASO nipple-gasms and OM clit-gasms, just to tone down the sensitivity in my nipples and clit — otherwise I’d just orgasm through my KSMO session… (apparent fail — I still O’d through my KSMO session).  I did about 14 minutes of KSMO, using a mix of nipple stim, sensual massage, and then clit/prostate stim.  Following that, I moved on to a solo session.

The trip to full-on, penetrative orgasms didn’t take long, about 8 minutes, and the results were predictably amazing.  And yet, the emotion that came with the orgasms was unpredictably extended.  Not the hard crying that can happen sometimes, my body eased into this emotional response, but once started, it was hard to shut off.  Of course, I’m not in the habit of shutting off my sexual responses (anymore), so I let it play out, trying to feel what my body was experiencing with the after-orgasms, but feeling true emotion welling up and needing to be released.

I lay there for about a half hour, dreading the getting up and continuing on with my day.  I wanted to feel something new.  Strange how even these amazing orgasmic experiences are beginning to feel mechanical and routine.  Having stimulated my prostate during the KSMO session, she was primed for the Sparkles treatment.  But now, laying in the after-glow, I could feel her throbbing, growing.  She wanted more.  I wasn’t sure if my shoulder and wrist would last for another round, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.

I lubed up Sparkles, and on the insertion, I could tell I was much tighter.  My prostate was definitely engorged, as were the vaginal walls that were pulsating inward, and I think the inner clit was still swollen as well.  The sensation of being truly filled was almost breathtaking.  Not to disparage Sparkles — I got him for his upward curve, not his girth.  (Dammit.)  But I loved the feeling of being full.  With a truly turned-on prostate, I felt those all-over ripples down my arms and legs, my legs began to shake — which usually only happens with hands-on prostate stimulation.  I reveled in the feeling of needing to urinate because I knew it had nothing to do with my bladder and everything to do with my She Spot/prostate.  I had been missing that feeling all summer.  To have that wave, that full-body shudder was joyously pleasing.

I didn’t think my arm would last at this point.  I thought I might have to stop, but I soldiered on, and I’m so glad I did.  When the orgasms started, they were full-body, fully arching, fully voiced, loud, rockin’-and-rollin’ orgasms.  I kept going as long as my arms would let me, then they flew up over my head, and Sparkles almost went flying across the room.

As the last few orgasms hit, I realized my teeth were chattering!  This was a completely new sexual response for me.  I don’t do fetishy stuff — never used an ice dildo or anything, so I’ve never experienced chattering teeth before… (great… in my head, I’m now hearing the song “John Wayne’s Teeth Hey-ya”…)

Being Irish, I love being cold.  In the winter, I keep my house around 60, and it feels awesome.  I wish I could afford to keep my house this cold in the summer!  In winter, my teeth will chatter occasionally, but for the most part, I feel like I’m in heaven in a cold house.  This is ironic since my skin always seems to be hot to the touch.  When I touch people, they move suddenly, saying my hands are burning hot.  I joke and say, “I’m Irish.  I’m exothermic.”  If they’re Pagan or Witchy, I say, “I’m a Fire Spirit, hence my nickname ‘Lava.'”  (If they’re fundy Christian, I tell them I’m a Witch.  Just to see their reaction as they run in the other direction. :P)  But I don’t feel hot — I really think it’s my body just letting off the heat so I can be cold.  Go Team Shamrock!

The teeth chattering while crying was a bit weird… and yet knowing I had had a second emotional orgasm was oddly satisfying — not sure why… But as the crying and teeth chattering faded, I began to feel the beginnings of a heartgasm — a buzzing in my ribcage area, the faint beginnings of that astral pull I have been wanting to experience again.  Unfortunately, a full heartgasm did not develop (rats!), but I was able to enjoy some lingering prostate body-shudders later when I went to the bathroom, and sporadically since.  Also, I recalled that when I had the 2-week-long heartgasm last Fall as well as the heartgasms in May, it was due to double-dipping — going two separate rounds of penetrative solo sex that concentrated on prostate stimulation.  That info is now filed for next time!

After awakening so grandly on 08-08-12 and 08-10-12, then having the back pain for a week, then the subsequent chakra cleansing, then my period, I’m already getting tired of the stops and starts on my journey.  I’m ready to hit cruise control for a bit.  But that’s just some Yang energy coming to the fore.  After being so Yin for several months, I was actually getting concerned I’d lost my inner fire.  I’m very appreciative of the Yang energy surfacing long enough to say “Hi” but not overwhelm my new Yinning state.

I briefly entertained the notion of recording my orgasms so I can hear them later — to get a sense of what’s happening vocally when my body is blissed out orgasmically.  And then I had the horrible thought of taking a month-long break from any orgasms at all.  Now I know I’m going crazy.

Speaking of going crazy, I think my shamanic dreams are coming back.  The past few nights, I’ve had some strange and intense dreams.  So I’ve decided to start a dream journal as well.  More on that later.  But for now, I’m about to hit the busy, busy last week of the month to meet all my writing deadlines (for my paying jobs), so I might take this week off from intentional orgasms.  Hmmmmmm….

Aroused and chattering,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 08-09-12: The Return of the Tingles


In similar fashion to the return of my afternoon delights yesterday, I had yet another KSMO session and a date with Sparkles, my purple silicone boyfriend. This was concurrent to yesterday’s session, which Jack does not recommend for newbies.  However, I attained Adept status a couple months ago (apparently), so I kinda get to do what I want.  (Neener-neener.)

I had already decided I was going to do back-to-back days about a month ago — the longing to be free again had been so poignant and clear.  (“Man, I just need to be fucked already — and SOON!”)  I had been feeling the almost overwhelming need — craving — to experience that wild, bed-frolicking, hip-rollicking abandon of insatiable passion and out-of-body orgasms that I had glimpsed in the Fall and Spring.  I knew I couldn’t gain it all back overnight, but I figured a few back-to-back sessions wouldn’t do any harm, especially since the weekend is right here, and I’d be back on the wagon.  (Sigh.)

Essentially, today’s session was much like yesterday’s.  I laid in bed an hour in some stupidly ridiculous bliss of just being okay laying in bed being stupidly ridiculously blissful.  My mind wandered.  That was okay.  I stealth O’d.  That was fabulous.  When I was ready for KSMO, I did KSMO.  I felt some tingles which were a good sign, but I didn’t try to make anything happen.  I finished the session, fucked Sparkles, cried, lather, rinse, repeat.

Okay….  Here’s where it got interesting.  In the time afterward, I was paying attention to my body — what I was feeling, where, and how; what I felt emotionally, mentally, intellectually about what I was feeling physically, energetically, spiritually.

I noticed the crying afterward had been delayed by a couple minutes.  This felt strange not to be immediately emotional.  The orgasms felt good.  What was the problem?  I remembered this happened yesterday, too, and I felt the same conflicted response to the quasi-ambivalent emotion.  The crying happened, and when it did, the feelings I felt were not just caused by the stimulation of my A-spot to induce the emotional uterine orgasm (that sounds so mechanical).  What I felt were feelings of emotion that were tied to insecurities and uncertainties about finding a partner:  why would any man want to be with me, why would a man love me, what did I have to offer?  I had no answers, so I cried some more.  I was too involved in the unexpected pity party to pay attention to whatever might have been happening physiologically in my genitals.  I can only assume my body went through its usual after-O’s.  But I don’t know for sure.

As the emotion slowed to a trickle, I noticed energy on my left side, up my leg and into my torso.  I then felt energy collect in the ball of my left foot and shoot out from there.  I have felt this before, and the image that comes to mind is the end of the animated film, The Beauty and the Beast.  During his change from “The Beast” back to a “Man,” a ray of “light” bursts out of his feet and hands.  That is what it feels like — a sudden gathering of energy that shoots out in a ray of light energy explosion… (except my feet aren’t hairy like the Beast’s.  Just sayin’.)

Another unexpected sensation occurred while I was laying there feeling my feelings — the emotional ones as well as the physical sensations.  My eyes were closed, but my attention was drawn to my hands.  If my hands aren’t over my head, they are usually resting on my torso at my bottom rib/waistline area.  I lay like this so my upper arms can support the weight of my breasts.  I thought my hands were in the air, but I didn’t remember telling them to move.  I opened my eyes and looked down.  My arms were still by my sides, my hands still on my waist.  But it felt like my hands were in mid-air, but heavy, like they were trying to pull away from me, or pull me up.  I have felt similar “pulling” sensations when I experienced heartgasms — it felt like my inner me was trying desperately to separate from my body when I was wide awake — this happened for almost two weeks!

The rest of the day, I felt the odd tingle here and there, nothing major nor localized for too long in any one spot.  (Wow, just got a zap of energy through my right outer labia just remembering that.  Cool.)  I didn’t have any single tingle strong enough or long enough for it to register as a particular -gasm, i.e., scalpgasm, leg-gasm, deskgasm, etc.  I could feel the beginnings of the beginnings of awakening, the stirrings before the actual stirrings begin.  So I know the bamboo has been growing under the surface and will burst through soon.  Time is the only water it needs….  Dammit.

Aroused and tingling,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 05-18-12, Part 2: Double-Dipping, Echoes, & Out-of-Body Heartgasms


* Read Part 1 here. *

So my body was buzzing from the early morning’s activities, and I did my duties for work (theatre writing) and continued plotting my domination of the world via Musical Theatre.  My 12:30 p.m. alarm announced it was time for KSMO practice, and after a few snoozes o’ the alarm, off I went to hit the shower before hitting the bed to enjoy my second helping of orgasmic bliss.

I did my 20-minue KSMO practice, trying to do the single caressing (epic fail, I like constant caressing — go figure!), and still trying to get the vocalization just right.  While having sex (solo or partnered) is not recommended on KSMO practice days, I was just horny.  And the morning’s session had left me wanting the vaginal O part of a blended orgasm.

To stimulate my prostate, I started with the glass wand.  I have had some amazing developments with the prostate stimulation.  Though the clit is known for producing sudden, heated, fireworks, the She Spot (G-Spot) is known to be a slow-burner of arousal — deceptively slow, incredibly deep, full, filling arousal.  For me, the vaginal stimulation now brings this full-body, core arousal much more quickly than it used to.  (So ladies, if you’ve never done prostate stimulation because you’ve heard it takes a long time to get aroused, give it a try on a regular basis.  Your body will probably “calibrate” to this stimulation and start getting aroused more quickly with steady practice!)

Some of the 18 distinct parts of the Clitoris.

With my prostate warmed up, I started the simultaneous clit stim.  Since starting KSMO, I can use a lot less stimulation on my clit.  I may start off with circles, but I usually end up doing long strokes from just above the clitoral hood down to the outer labia.  Nowadays, I’ll often start with some OM clit fingering, and that really gets those clitoral nerves humming. And frankly, my clit was sore from this morning.

I switched to my penisy vibrator (sans vibration) so I could rock out my A-Spot.  Because I’m already extremely aroused, the fullness of the vibrator hits all the “spots” and “zones” in the vagina. And I shudder, a full-body shudder.  (Actually, I think it’s an orgasm, a full-body O as the vibe goes in, but  that’s just my perception of it.)

Public service announcement: Guys, THIS is why you should spend 15 to 30 minutes on “foreplay”!  Once aroused, there isn’t a spot in the vagina that isn’t ready to orgasm with a little extra love.  Doing this will help bring up the horrible statistics that about 70% of women NEVER orgasm during penetrative sex!!!

During the journey to orgasm, I noticed I kept stopping all stimulation.  I have no idea why.  I didn’t plan on this or consciously decide to stop.  It just sort of happened.  My body seemed to know what it wanted and how it wanted it.  I would stop both hands momentarily just to feel the effects of the stimulation.  For some reason, I kept doing this — both hands stimulating, pausing to feel, stimulating  pausing, feeling… over and over and over.  Each time, I moaned,a little higher pitched than usual — I even had the observationist critique of “Gee, I sound cheezy!”  But I didn’t care.  This letting the body take over was new for me, and it was delicious!  Each time while pausing, I could feel sensations bubbling up and expanding not into orgasm (at the moment) but brewing something bigger, thicker, deeper.

The orgasms were incredible, and I had the thought at that moment, that I would hate to see what I looked like during this frantic madness.  No orgies for me!  :P

Normally, the post-orgasm emotion begins 5 to 10 seconds after the orgasms, and even then, the emotion/tears begin softly, quickly building in intensity to full-out crying, then fading. Usually afterward, I wind up laughing at myself because I feel kind of ridiculous over the whole thing.  (Jung might say I’m in ego, but after letting loose, moaning, howling, and crying, I think getting back in ego might be a good thing so I can get on with my day!)

Today, the emotion hit instantly.  In fact, I was barely through the last orgasm when the crying erupted from me, forcibly bringing up emotions from my core.  I know uterine orgasms are emotional, but this was raw and primal.  I felt emotionally pummeled.  I have no idea where it came from.  I can only surmise that the catharsis of writing my breasts article and the subsequent good response touched me or knocked loose something that needed to be — could only be — released through deep, full-body, full-emotion, body/spirit integrated orgasm.

Now, I usually am so relaxed or so exhausted by this point that I doze off into a light sleep.  I’ll doze about 15 minutes, roll over, and doze another 15 minutes.  I’ll then lay there to feel what’s going on in my body — usually, echoes are still going on.  For me, I define echoes as the after-orgasms — possibly a series of orgasms in their own right — that are contractions of the genitals and lower core: vagina, anus, cervix dipping down, clit throbbing, blood pulsating through the inner and outer labia, even my lower abdominals, and definitely my glutes still clenching, etc.  I’ve noticed my hips will continue to rock well after the orgasm spectacular is over.  These echoes/contractions go on for a half hour to an hour.

Today, I fell asleep almost immediately.  I think I was emotionally as well as physically exhausted from the session.  Not to mention the 90-minute session I’d had earlier that morning.  (And people wonder why I won’t work out at a gym?!)  But this was no light snooze.  This was a hard sleep.  In fact, I slept for over an hour.  When I woke up, I looked at the clock and would have jumped out of bed if I’d had the energy.  Which was another strange feeling — normally I feel energized and buzzy at this point.  But not today.  I was tired.  And I had a weird feeling in my chest wall.

I first experienced heartgasms last Fall.  Sometimes, people feel heartgasms as sudden happiness that makes them clutch their hands to their heart, or they feel as if an orgasm has just happened IN the heart area.  My heartgasms were/are similar.  Mostly, I feel a sudden buzzing in my chest wall/rib cage, as if my inner/astral me is trying to burst out of my physical body and go back to the spirit plane.  (If you’re not into astral stuff and don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll have to explain this in another post.)

What I felt today was a strong tug-of-war between my body and my inner/astral me that was trying to escape, to return to the spirit plane, or at least the Land of Orgasm.  If I were a 60 year-old man, a smoker, or ate fried foods, I might think I was having a heart attack.  Glad it was just an orgasm! :P

This tug-of-war happening at my chest wall/rib cage went on for hours.  It was less intense once I had to go back to pretending I’d worked all day long and did other responsible stuff.  :D  But the sensations were still there.  And in my genitals, I stil had the feeling of the bubbling up, expanding, full, hot, pulsating, buzz, and echoes.

I don’t like this in-between feeling.  I want to definitely be somewhere — definitely here or definitely there.  Though I guess if I’m definitely there, I’d be dead.  Another insight into why the French term for orgasm is “la petite mort” — the little death.  And maybe why we keep returning to arousal and orgasm to experience the Other Side if only briefly.

C’est la vie.

Aroused and somewhere,

trish

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DailyOJ 05-16-12: Crying & Emotional Orgasms


My last session — on Monday — was amazing, and I wrote about it here.

After the final big orgasm, as the contractions pulsated in my vagina, cervix, and anus, I burst into tears which made me deliriously happy (inside).  This emotion was centered in the heart chakra.  I felt the wall of my chest vibrating — a heartgasm?, and my hands flew up to my heart and over my eyes.  The crying was guttural and from my core.  It felt like I was finally back on my journey’s path.

This may not sound like a good thing, but I was relieved by the emotional expression that occurred.  The past few weeks, my orgasms had been unemotional — with little to no crying afterward.  I have begun to equate my vocal volume during and my emotional crying afterward with the intensity and number of orgasms.  The louder and boo-hooey-er, the bigger and better.  The lack of emotional response seemed to be synonymous with the lack of true arousal I’d been feeling.

This then brought up other emotional issues…  I realized that I almost dread having sex with a partner again… the more emotional I am means the awesomer my orgasms were.  Men are scared of emotion.  So this is actually beginning to feel like a deal-breaker.  I can’t go back to unemotional sex.  Women who like casual sex — more power to them.  I’ve recently discovered I just don’t want it.  I would need to hide my emotions for a “just fucking” encounter, and that would hurt too much.

I know this separates me from the majority of feminists out there who think that being an empowered female means fucking anything that’s longer than it is wide and being able to walk away unaffected by the encounter.  I never was that way inside, though I did have the occasional orgy one-night stand.  (Another reason to love the theatre :D ).  And I’m a humanist, not a feminist — if “feminist” is defined as thinking women should automatically be placed ahead of men just because we’re female — that’s reverse discrimination FOR the vagina, which is no better than discrimination AGAINST the vagina.

Recognizing that I… need… as well as want  the emotional component of sexual experience must mean I’m getting old… or maybe more integrated with my higher self.  “Needing” anything is not easy for me.  I’ve always been and had to be independent.  Find a way or make a way.  No negotiations.  No excuses.  “Needing” puts me in a position of submissiveness.  Vulnerability.  And frankly, that freaks me out.

Not to get all woo-woo on you, but having experienced the astral plane in dreams and the cosmic orgasm from my prostate awakening, I refuse to settle for anything less.  Don’t get me wrong.  I would still enjoy a good ol’ fashioned hard fuck, as long as the underlying relationship is one of love and trust — then the hard fuck is really just a matter of mutual, wild, animal lust rearing its fabulous head amidst a spirit-connected sexual and sensual experience… but I can cry afterward, knowing I’m safe, that I felt safe to give myself so fully to the experience in the first place… and for me, crying is a good thing.

Aroused and blubbering,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 05-15-12: Nipple Sensitivity & Energy in My Legs


In the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to get back into the KSMO thing. After the debacle (with a couple of morons) on the forum, I didn’t do anything KSMO for 2 months.  In the interim, I finally tried Om-ing and was shocked by the fabulous results I had with it as well as went a couple rounds with my new glass prostate wand and have loved playing with that ever since.

Oddly enough, I began to experience painful sensitivity in my nipples. Not the whole breasts, just the nipples.  This was horribly sad because I have begun to rely on nipple stim as the appetizer that leads to the entree of arousal and delectable orgasmic desert(s) later on.  Also, since beginning a regular-ish practice of sensual massage, I’ve found my hands on my breasts almost constantly whenever I’m naked.  (That may seem weird, but since I spent most of my life hating my breasts, I’m actually just getting to know them.)

Nipple stimulation leads to a cervical, Kundalini orgasm in 10 to 30 seconds.  If I continue the nipple and breast stimulation (as I’m wont to do), I can even get aroused enough to experience what author Diana Richardson calls the “YES!” of vaginal arousal, where the vaginal opening (the clitoral cuff of the PC muscles) opens and a finger or toy slides right in — no wiggling past the fleshy opening necessary to enter.  The first time I felt my vagina open like that, it was as if my vulva was sighing a sweet, “Ahhhhh….”  It felt amazing.  Since then, I can sense when my vagina is open like that, waiting to be entered by… something.  In fact, I’ve found myself awakening in the middle of the night from a sexual-infused dream and without touching my shaved vulva, I can tell I’m fully opened and in “YES!” mode.

With little notice, my nipples became painfully sensitive a few weeks ago.  Even the air flow from the ceiling fan was painful.  This made me pay attention to the rest of the breast (which, admittedly, is overlooked by men as well).  I can only surmise that the pain was related to my hormonal cycles — it began a week after my period, through ovulation (think I caught the egg this month!), and a week after.  This past week has been miraculously back to normal in sensation.  However, the cervical O’s only came back in the last day or two, and they’re not as strong — but I did notice that the intensity is building back.  Will have to work on those. :)

As for the energy in my legs, I don’t have much to report other than I’ve noticed weird pulsating, energy zaps down the backs of my legs recently.  It feels like contractions (but not like a leg cramp).  It’s as if it’s building energy, starting in my lower glutes/upper hamstrings and down to my calves.  Strong sensations but not unpleasant.

I had full-body O’s during this last session with lots of energy in my legs — which is great because my legs are strong and tend to be very active during the last phase of arousal (shaking profusely) and during orgasms themselves (kicking out, pulling up, kicking out again, etc.).  I can even feel my prostate coming back to life, which had also gone dormant in recent months.

As for regular orgasms, I’ve had my orgasms in the past few weeks, but they hadn’t been as satisfying as I’ve become accustomed since last Fall.  I don’t know if this is related to the nipple pain or not. The breasts are indeed the gateway to orgasm (for me, anyway), so that may have been the cause for (what I consider) the lackluster orgasms — they were localized to the genitals, and even when they extended upward, they weren’t full-body… more … one-hit of orgasm, but not even an explosion.  (Yes, this was with blended O stim.)

On the brighter side, I woke up from some sensual dream at 3:45 a.m. today, and unable to sleep, I laid in bed as I do with my legs spread open and massaged my breasts and labia.  It was fabulous.  I can’t count the number of cervical O’s I had with the breast stimulation, and even had a couple of energy zings from minor OM clit stimulation.

Will have to see where all this leads next… Being on my period, I won’t be able to play inside until Saturday or Sunday… well, I could, but man, I hate the “Clean up, aisle 12″ scenario.  Guess it’s just me and my breasts till then!

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 12-30-11: Yin-Yang & Deskgasm


December 30, 2011

I think I’m finally getting the hang of this let-the-body-do-its-thang process.  It’s still a process — a yin process, no less.  I have lots to learn and experience, but I am beginning to understand the ebb and flow a little better.

Giving in to my yin self is actually very difficult.  I’m competitive by nature and by nurture, so letting go of some of the ingrained yang tendencies has proven to be a process in itself.

And for those who didn’t hear — I had my first deskgasm! YAY!  Imagine my surprise while I’m working, minding my own business, and BAM!  A spontaneous, deliciously powerful orgasm hits out of nowhere.  I wasn’t even thinking anything sexual!  It just hit me — a blended orgasm, complete with explosion and full body waves that I didn’t have to lift a finger to produce.  Wowzers!

Also, I miss the heartgasms I was experiencing a few weeks ago.  I finally had gotten used to that constant buzzing in my chest wall 24/7 for those 2 weeks — and the feeling like there was a part of me floating about a foot out in front of me — my aura?  my chi? — and my heart constantly wanting to jump out of my ribcage and join whatever that energy field was in front of me.  Now I miss that it’s not there except after orgasms.  But I can’t wait for more!

Aroused and yinning,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 12-13-11: Vaginal Waves of Pleasure


December 13, 2011

I did my 20 minute protocol today, and I think I did it correctly.   I talked with Jack on Sunday and had my Key Sound checked.  Like all things, it’s a work in progress, but I think I’m doing it better.  I also did the touching/caressing part of the protocol better — now that I realize I’m only supposed to be doing the caress just before the inhalation of the sound (and not feelin’ my self up the whole time).  Though, I must say, it’s not nearly as much fun!

The only sensations I noticed in between the sounds was a throbbing in my vulva/vagina (yes, the whole thing beating like a heart).

So afterward, I did a solo sex session, and noticed again how I haven’t been feeling my female prostate as much, but on the trip to orgasm, it’s like she kicks in, and lets me know she’s there.  At one point, I stopped the circles on my clit and really noticed the prostate then, but still went back to clit stim because it felt weird NOT to.

Long story short, I didn’t have the explosion orgasm so common to clitoral orgasms, but the waves of vaginal / prostate / She Spot orgasm were awesome.  No, truly — they were amazing!  So maybe I’ll try the lack of clit stim again and see if that increases the orgasm even more. And no, I’m not chasing orgasms.  I’m “allowing” and trying to be more Yin…  I’m just experimenting along the way.

I felt really strong contractions for more than a half hour afterward, and I still feel the throbbing (echoes?).  My chest wall is vibrating as I type this now (almost 2 hours after), but I don’t know if that qualifies as a heartgasm.  So I think my KSMO journey is cumming along swimmingly…

Aroused and buzzing,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


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