Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
Back on my own during the days, I have taken to using my glass toy (which I have not yet named ), along with trying a slightly different position for my legs, and getting some great results — probably helped with my breast massage regimen and breath+sound work I’ve borrowed from Tantra and Kundalini practices.
For my orgasm sessions, I begin with just laying back and relaxing, breathing normally, letting my mind let go of the thoughts that are still buzzing across my conscious self. After 10 or 15 minutes — I don’t time it, I move on when I feel ready and mind-full (of nothing!). I start the relaxation breaths, adding in the occasional “Aum.” This lasts for maybe 15 minutes.
I add in sensual massage. Usually, I’m careful not to touch my nipples or I’ll start having energy orgasms immediately. I’ve found that if I start the massage on my clit, it lessens the sensitivity on my nipples (slightly, and only temporarily), but gentle, barely-there caresses of my clit and labia are simply luscious.
I may move to my nipples (more often than not, yes, I do) for some amazing stealth orgasms, or I’ll lightly brush my fingertips across my left hip which triggers jolts of energy up my leg to my left nipple, hardening her immediately. My right hip is not as quick to react and the energy is more subtle, but my right nipple still hardens into a pucker, reaching up to a point.
Many times recently, I have stayed there — just doing the lightest touch of my skin, my nipples, clit, and the inner and outer labia. Barely brushing my fingers over my clit shaft starts full-body orgasms that have my legs coming up, my back arched, and my head back facing the pillows, and I’m left breathless. I can keep these going for a while. These kinds of orgasms are different than “traditional” or manual orgasms in that these don’t take ANY work , and they’re like riding clouds of energy, with energy waves hitting my body like water crashing onto the seashore. I’m energized by the orgasms rather than being worn out after my usual blended orgasms (which rock my world but are exhausting).
Pressing my fingertips into my outer labia, I can feel the thick, corded bands of the PC muscles. Barely grazing my outer labia, they feel like velvet, warm and throbbing. My fingertips barely whisper across my inner labia which are still reaching outward at this point — they will lie open soon. This touch can start labia-gasms, and I can feel the texture of the inside of the inner labia change as the bloodflow to the tissue increases.
I’m still new to the direct, purposeful stimulation of my U-spot, the erectile tissue around the urethral opening. This area is usually stimulated without intention during blended/penetrative orgasms, but I am now focusing on the U-spot to help encourage my journey into female ejaculation.
Bringing my knees up to my torso definitely shortens the vagina, and it makes using the glass dildo easier on my wrist due to its curve. This makes for a wonderful stimulation of my prostate. Since the glass toy is narrower and shorter than my purple silicone friend Sparkles, it also feels more like a directional finger than a “toy” or penis substitute. I can definitely feel the tip and side as it rubs across certain spots (yes, the female prostate has more “spots” than just the G-spot/She Spot). Moving the glass toy back and forth, curving up at the side ensures the side of the prostate are stimulated as well — and this feels delicious.
Stimulation of the prostate, and most areas inside the vagina, are not as “pin-point” as stimulating the clit, but the vagus nerve and auxiliary nerves definitely make up for it by creating a feeling of a bubbling, churning cauldron of arousal energy that is ever-building, ever-growing, expanding outward through me and upward into the torso and heart chakra.
I consciously push out when stimulating the prostate directly — contrary to what “popular” opinion says to do with the stupid Kegel exercises (which actually inhibit vaginal orgasm). I LOVE the feelings that overtake me — like I suddenly have to go to the bathroom, like my insides are about to fall out — because I know my prostate is about to hit her stride and bubble over into full-body orgasms. I push out and remind myself to breathe — sometimes I catch myself and realize I’m holding my breath. There is a fetish of choking for some few-second orgasm that is ridiculous and dangerous. Oxygen FEEDS orgasms — breathe, breathe deeply, breathe fully, taking the breath into my belly and down into my pelvis… Breathing is essential to life and to orgasms… though saying “life” followed by “orgasms” seems redundant….
The double layers of muscles that line the vagina begin to rock and roll, and I manipulate them to keep them strong — so I don’t lose my skill of giving “vaginal blowjobs” (moving the vaginal walls in such a way as to give the penis the feeling of being sucked very powerfully).
Read * Part 2 * here.
Just throwing this out there… In the free-flow chat last night (or the other night — can’t remember now), another chick and I both said that we sometimes have to do the KSMO key sound twice to get it into that really low (awkward) placement. I wondered if anyone (guys or gals) had experienced that.
I was doing my KSMO this morning, which I time with the stopwatch on my phone. By the time I finally got the key sound perfect the first time around, my alarm went off! Grrrrrrrr…
I also noted that I tend to do nipple-only stim the first 10 minutes, then move a hand south to my genitals and caress the exterior of the vulva for about 5 minutes, then the last 5 minutes is internal caress stimulation (single caressing!) on my She Spot. By this time, though, I AM extremely hot and bothered, so maybe natural arousal is kicking in and contributing to the husky sound? Otherwise, unnatural, husky vocal production is dangerous to the voice (and speech pathologists everywhere will back me up on this). I want to be safe with my voice while furthering my experiences on the KSMO path to blissed out orgasms. But doing the key sound is starting to hurt, actually.
I’m wondering, too, if I should do a full-body warm up before doing the KSMO protocol — the same way a singer should do a full-body warm up before vocalizing. It really does get the blood flowing to the vocal folds as well as wake up the belly-breathing respiratory subsystem. I might do that next time and report if it helps make the key sound better from the start or at least more fluid.
In that chat, we also talked about the importance of making sure the mouth is open wide enough — not too wide, but your mouth SHOULD be open. The placement of the jaw really does matter in sound production whether you’re singing or having orgasms — i.e., the KIND of sound you produce, resonance, as well as volume. All of this affects the voice.
And one gent had a great quote about why making sound during arousal and orgasms is NATURAL. Good thing I’m loving’ my moan.
Aroused and vocalizing,
(*In response to men’s take on nipple stimulation and what they like.*)
Got into an interesting debate on the difference between porn & erotica last night. Especially in regard to how the female body is treated for the sake of men’s ogling. Erotica is much more women-friendly than porn, especially with all the rampant crap that is available on the internet. Female-centered erotica with real orgasms is the hallmark of IFeelMyself.com. Every (straight / bisexual) man should watch some of that.
Kissing and sucking a man’s nipples is a true delight for me. I mean, I really love it. I do chest worship on a man — cupping the chest / pectoral muscle with my hands, massaging the skin, muscle, and nerves, while sucking the nipple — the way men like to suck female breasts. LUV LUV LUV doing that! But the guys I’ve tried it on said it felt weird (in a bad way) to them, or that it didn’t do anything for them. Either they weren’t allowing themselves to enjoy it (too “feminine” perhaps?), or I had really lousy technique (which I doubt, but anything’s possible).
The treatment of the breasts is one of my main oppositions to porn. My ex-husband once (and only once) lifted one of my breasts and dropped it like I know he’d seen in porn. I couldn’t believe he did that!! Or that he thought that would feel good?!! But he’d seen it in porn, and those women “liked” it (because they were directed to react that way and they were paid to pretend to like it, moron!). It hurt incredibly, and I felt it was horribly disrespectful to me and to my body. (Later, he would make a comment about my breasts that cut me to my core — the kind of thing that is just not forgivable and will never be forgotten (it is etched in my soul), and I knew then he had never respected me as a woman or my body as something sacred and special. I was a possession to him. Wish I’d realized that a long time before then…)
And back on the topic of breastfeeding a child — Yes, some women experience a closeness to their child, but not all of us. At least, not when you spend 45 minutes every two hours having small gums cutting your flesh as they try to feed. Some women even orgasm while breastfeeding. So it might be comfortable for other women, but it sure wasn’t for me. I still have the scars. So “rock on!” to the women who enjoy breastfeeding — I didn’t, but that was my personal experience.
As for the light flicking of a tongue across my nipples, yes that can send a “zing” down south, but I love feeling a man’s warm, wet mouth full-on sucking my breasts. This can bring practically instant cervical / Kundalini orgasms. Delicious! And don’t forget — the underside of the female breast (below the nipple-areola complex) is rife with nerve endings just waiting to be stimulated by gentle caresses and nibbling and kisses!
That book, Tantric Orgasm for Women, made so much sense! (Will write a review soon!) As we know, the nipples are wired directly to our lady’s loins, so I truly believe the breasts are the gateway to female orgasm. Breast worship is a lovely beginning to the main event, anyway. Also, Tantra teaches that, in women, the upper lip is also wired directly to the clitoris, so kissing her upper lip, or letting her kiss you all over has lots of side benefits for her and for you. (For men, the lower lip is connected to his genitals.)
And thanks for the info that men’s nipples seem to be wired to the perineum / anal area. Good tip! I have done perineal massage on myself in the past, but didn’t notice much.
In the past few weeks, I’ve noticed a bit more in the perineum, as well as the nerve endings around my anus. Beyond adding a little pressure to the (external) perineum, I’m not sure what else to do. I am beginning to explore the perineal sponge (inside) a bit more — really loving the initial explorations! And with a couple fingers in my vagina playing with my She Spot, my pinky keeps finding its way to my anus. A slippery slope (quite literally!), but I’m not ready to mix the two (vaginal & anal) yet. I will eventually, but sometimes it already seems like so much “work”.
And I really appreciate men being so willing to talk about all this from your male perspective. You give cynical women like me a reason to hope for the male of the species.
And thank you for putting up with my bouncing around on topics. Writing in “stream of consciousness” is my forte`, and I like to share something new when the thought arises… Now, if one of yous guys can tell me why men grab their own ass during sex, I just might be set for a while…
Aroused and zinging,