The male prostate is a gland about the size of a walnut located in the male anus.
The prostate creates prostatic fluid that mixes with sperm from the testicles to form ejaculate. Once aroused, the male prostate has a texture like that of a walnut, similar to how the female prostate takes on a ridged feeling when aroused. Moving your finger back and forth (i.e., wagging your finger, or like a windshield wiper), you should feel the two lobes of the prostate — the gland is bisected by the urethra running through the middle of the prostate, just as the urethra runs through the middle of the prostate in women.
The prostate can be accessed indirectly, from the outside at the “sweet spot” on the perineum, or directly, inside by using a finger or sex toy in the anus. Experimenting with your prostate does not make a man gay. In fact, anal play, prostate massage, and prostate milking can be a very delicious part of a heterosexual couple’s lovemaking, especially in the form of slow sex and sacred sex.
Also in Tantra, the male prostate is considered to be the emotional center for a man in regard to his genitals. More than a few men, who have allowed a partner to do prostate milking on them, claim the prostate orgasm is the strongest, most intense, most emotionally moving orgasm they have ever experienced.
Many men who do prostate massage on a regular basis cannot fathom going back to their old orgasms. Common testimonials for these men also include the prostate orgasm is a “soulgasm,” and opens their hearts to their partners in ways they could never imagine before.
As with any anal play, safety precautions should always be followed to prevent the transference of fecal bacteria from the anal area to other body areas.
Condoms should be used on any sex toy that is inserted, and fitted latex gloves or finger cots can be used on the fingers to avoid having to wash your hands before fingering yourself elsewhere or fingering/touching your partner, as well as to avoid getting bacteria in a cut on the fingers.
Use lots of lubricant and massage the external anal sphincter completely to warm up and stretch the skin before trying to enter the anus. Silicone lube seems to work best and last the longest, but it is notoriously difficult to clean up afterward. Also, silicone lube will degrade the latex of condoms, so use only water-based lubricant or natural, unscented massage oil if using latex condoms.
The prostate can be a delicate gland. Direct stimulation should be slow and gentle at first to see what kind of pressure you like. If there is any pain, STOP. If there is any blood in your ejaculate or urine, see your healthcare professional.
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(* In response to another question about fluids during sex.* )
You might watch your water intake so the bladder isn’t really filling up so quickly. But remember the female prostate is linked to the urethra — the prostate drains into the urethra as well as secretes fluids into the vagina. So it may actually be the lubricant/ejaculate plasma not urine, even though you have that urge to urinate and do release fluid after your orgasms. And even if it is urine, so WHAT?! Enjoy! :)
But the thoughts I had this morning, is that do men have such trouble with a full bladder and an erection? One former partner wouldn’t do morning sex without first a trip to the bathroom, which I totally understood — except he would spend more time in the bathroom trying to “talk down” his morning erection just to urinate, and then focus to get the erection again. I think the fear men have is urinating instead of or just after ejaculating. While I understand the “ewwww!” factor, the vagina is decidedly acidic with a pH of 3.8 to 4.5, and urine is sterile anyway, so it’s not like it would actually harm anything if urine came out… another reason for keeping towels handy.
In ancient cultures, all these fluids were viewed as sacred. So whatever the body does during arousal and orgasm is cool with me… as long as I don’t look fat doing it. :-)
P.S. I’m looking up the Arvigo abdominal massage… sounds awesome and oh, so, timely for our world of couch potatoes and sitting-at-the-computer addicts (like me!).
Tonight: KSMO 20-minute practice session… may try not touching the clit… or do She-spot massage :) … AND tomorrow, I’m going to my first active participation with my new Kelly Howell Kundalini CD. I’ll post my results, to see if I feel that serpent energy slithering up my spine. :) … would be delish if my prostate can hold that arousal it’s been dishing up lately and have some chi raising up into my chest/breast area… hmmmmm…
Aroused and journaling,
I just got this book, Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy, and overall I really liked the information, the layout, and the readability of Reidl’s work. I especially liked the interviews she included. *** For men, check out her book, Lingam Massage: Awakening Male Sexual Energy. ***
“Yoni” is the Sanskrit word for the vulva and vagina area. Yoni puja is an ancient practice of worshiping the Yoni, usually by men, who understand that within woman lie most if not all the mysteries of life.
For the ADVANCED Yoni devotee:
I bought this book hoping to find some advanced techniques or esoteric pearls of clandestine, archaic knowledge lost to the passages of time (due to the Westernization of the world). However, this book has a good deal of what I’ve read in other books and online, so, I didn’t learn anything new (with one caveat noted below).
Another downside to this book and similar books on the Western market, is that the author’s tone to the reader assumes that the reader is unsure about the practice or has hesitations (psychological, religious, social, et al). And while these are legitimate reasons people might not be sure they want to try the Eastern-influenced yoni massage, I’m tired of almost all the books available having this same attitude. For once, I’d like a book on Tantra, sex, fingering, positions — whatever! — be written FOR a reader who wholeheartedly (and whole-bodily!) embraces sexuality and the immense possibility of incredible orgasms using various techniques from multiple modalities…. (This is why I’m writing my own book :)
One thing I did learn was a name for the intense orgasm I experienced and described and that I described in hindsight after reading Yoni Massage… It is called a uterine orgasm. And while I’ve had and heard of cervical orgasms, learning there was a name for that doubled-over, intensely emotional reaction to orgasm was a good thing… it helped me know that if I experience it again, it is normal for that kind of sex.
For the NEWBIE to Yoni worship:
Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy is a great book, and it is so much more than just fingering techniques. If you’re really new to this subject (Tantra-based vulva/vagina worship), this is a good book to start with at only 176 pages.
While many books focus on the clit OR the prostate, Riedl genuinely loves the entire yoni, and that is definitely female empowering! Rather than work the clit (which gets old and can start to hurt), Riedl presents the Tantra finger positions that explore all the zones inside the vagina, with special notes on using multiple fingers (3 and even 4) as well as a brief paragraph on fisting.
The clit is not ignored, of course, but the clit is just one part of the yoni, one part of the female sexual organ system. The clit is not the beginning nor the end of female orgasm; the clitoris is one important part in a complex of important parts, the sum of which being the yoni, female sexuality, and the expanse of orgasms that women are capable of experiencing.
REASONS to Buy This Book:
- Great information on anatomy, even the anatomy of the egg, sperm, and fetus at various stages of development (in regard to the production of the sex organs)
- Numerous photographs of actual finger positions (yes, “money shots”)
- Detailed illustrations on the anatomy of the female sex organs, from resting state to aroused state (YES, the clitoris gets erect, too!)
- Numerous interviews with women on whom Riedl does the yoni massage, and they explain what they felt physically, emotionally, and even psychologically during and after.
- Female-Female focus and interviews, THOUGH the receivers tend to be “hetero” women looking to find out more about themselves so they can enjoy sex more with their husbands/partners… (makes you wonder why the husbands aren’t Googling “yoni massage” and learning a few things to try so the wives don’t have to get all yoni’d up by another woman?!)…
- It’s only 176 pages…
REASONS NOT to Buy This Book:
- It’s only 176 pages…
- You’re a yogi master in India.
- You have a doctorate in female anatomy and its uses for orgasm.
- You already bought it but forgot you had it…. (or I am the only one who does stuff like that?)
Though I didn’t learn much, I’m not sorry I bought it; I’ll just keep it on the shelf for reference later. If YOU are new to all this, then by all means, GET Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy!
Agree or disagree? If you’ve gotten the book, please leave your opinion of it in the comment section below!
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