Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
Omega-3 is an essential fatty acid that your body must have but cannot produce on its own, so we have to get it from our food. Omega-3′s are required by the brain for proper cognitive function, and recent research is starting to link Omega-3 deficiency and Alzheimer’s. Omega-3′s are also shown to lower blood pressure in hypertensive patients and decrease internal inflammation that affects joints and organs. Plus, Omega-3′s help with arthritis, depression, and mood swings.
What does that mean for orgasms? Proper blood circulation is required for erections (in men and women), and of course, nothing works if the bowling ball on your shoulders isn’t working to keep all your bits and pieces functioning in top form.
I still take fish oil for Omega-3′s, but I’ve started incorporating this drink into my morning regimen. When I first go into the kitchen, I start this and let it sit while I’m making breakfast and yelling at the child to get up and get ready for school.
While there is a debate whether the fish oil source of Omega-3′s is better than the plant-source, chia seeds are a great vegan option for getting your essential Omega-3′s.
The recipe below is based on a drink I saw online on Dr Oz’s website, but I like mine better.
The almond milk is simply the carrier of the chia seeds. Also, almond milk is non-dairy, which makes it groovy for vegans. At only 40 calories per cup, almond milk doesn’t have the calories, fat, or sugar content of milk. This unsweetened “original” formula, Almond Breeze, by Blue Diamond has the fewest number of additive ingredients than others on the market. Of course, you can make your own almond milk, but I haven’t gone that far… yet…
These are actual Chia Seeds — if you remember the TV commercials for the tiny green ground-cover plant on clay figurines with the voice-over singers chanting, “Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia!” … yes… those chia seeds.
Chia Seeds are the best kept secret in the Omega-3 world, as far as I’m concerned. While flaxseed is more famous, chia seeds have more Omega-3′s than flax, in a better ratio to the unfavorable Omega-6, and taste much better than flaxseed, to me. Unlike flaxseeds which cannot be digested whole by the body, chia seeds can be eaten whole. Two tablespoons of whole chia seeds provides 2,500 mg Omega-3, 6g dietary fiber, and 2g protein.
I use powdered stevia to sweeten the drink because I don’t want to use sugar. Stevia is an herb, and teaspoon to teaspoon, stevia is 600 times sweeter than sugar. The vanilla is to help the overall flavor of the drink, especially if you’re using the chia seed meal (pre-ground chia seeds) as I am right now — I grabbed the wrong bag at the health store, not realizing the ground seeds were right next to the whole chia seeds. (Grrrrrrrrrr….)
Almond Milk & Chia Seed Vegan Drink for Omega-3′s
1 Cup almond milk
2 Tablespoons chia seeds (2.5 Tablespoons if using ground chia seeds)
1/4 teaspoon real vanilla extract
1 to 2 stevia packets, optional
2 Tablespoons freshly puréed fruit, optional
In a small glass, stir almond milk and chia seeds together and allow to sit on the counter for 15 minutes, or until the milk becomes slightly thickened by the chia seeds. Add the vanilla and the stevia packet(s) if you want to sweeten it. You can also add any freshly puréed fruit, such as strawberries or oranges, etc. Stir and drink.
These will be separate categories but they certainly intertwine in their importance. Overall health is required for vibrant sexual response — even if you’re not with a partner. You cannot be truly healthy if you exercise a lot but then eat junk food on a regular basis. Likewise, eating a healthy diet but not allowing your body to utilize its full range of motion can adversely affect the muscles, tendons, ligaments, even your bone density and skeletal frame.
There is energy transference from the food you eat; and if you ingest unhealthy, “dead” energy, you are unhealthy, “dead” energy. The body can mask the mounting long-term effects of eating the Standard American Diet (SAD) until it seems too late. However, no matter how old you are or how long you’ve been out of shape, it’s never too late to revamp your approach to your health. After all, erections and orgasms require happy muscles and healthy blood vessels!
Your approach to balancing your overall health should include stress-reducing practices such as moderate exercise and meditation(!!!). No New Age woo-woo stuff here, people. Science is finally catching up to what yogis have known for millennia. Meditation is very good for you! Not only is meditation great for your mind, but it is also beneficial for your body by increasing oxygen intake, lowering blood pressure, and controlling stress hormones.
On the short list for topics, I will be discussing diet choices for aphrodisiac nutrition, primal/paleo vs. vegetarian/vegan, vitamins and minerals supplements, as well as fitness tips for functional strength/resistance training, flexibility, and range of motion, and other lifestyle choices that will keep your body in optimal orgasmic health. This summer, I hope to begin a video series on all this as well.
You only have one meat-suit, people. Take care of it while you’re using it this lifetime.
I’ve been married for almost 15 years. Before I got married, I used to have orgasms without a problem during intercourse, and I was very active and sexual woman. Now, AFTER 15 years, we have sex like every three or four months and worse, without orgasms… well, once a year if I’m really lucky. I only get an orgasm while watching porn and masturbating myself — so, I’m not anorgasmic — but it doesn’t happen while having sex with him. Even when I’m aroused and really try to have an orgasm mental and physically, it just doesn’t happen. I talked to him, but it’s not enough.
I LOOOVEEEE sex, I like sex, and even for a while I resigned myself to abstinence. Well, I suppose that I am the problem, but I cannot find the solution. I want to enjoy sex, and literally shout out myself for pleasure and orgasm during intercourse but well… here I am asking for help. Love my husband and I wish I could surrender myself into his arms and enjoy and cry out for pleasure. Any thoughts?
Right off the bat, I see at least three major things that need to be addressed, and hear me when I say, YOU are NOT the sole issue that needs help here. It takes two to tango, and in a relationship, each partner is 100% responsible for participating in their 50% of the partnership.
The word relationship does not mean “suffer in silence,” as you seem to be doing — I know that’s how I felt in my miserable 15-year marriage with orgasmless sex. (At least you like your guy!) A relationship is supposed to be two (or more) people actively relating to each other. I don’t see much relating at all here. But let’s begin this conversation with you…
You didn’t tell me your age, so for round numbers, let’s say you’re 40 years old and got married at 25. In your early 20′s then, you were a vibrant, happy, sexual, naturally orgasmic woman. Fast forward 15 years, you’re experiencing issues with orgasm with a husband who is uninterested in “fixing” a relationship he apparently doesn’t view as being problematic.
From a physical standpoint, the body completely regenerates every cell in the body within about three years. So you are literally not the same person you were then — your body has completely re-created itself 5 times since then. Now, at “40,” your hormone levels are different, your blood chemistry is different, and this isn’t even considering if you take prescription medication on a regular basis that can upset your body’s chemical balance, or have unhealthy nutrition habits, too much alcohol or caffeine intake, etc.
My first recommendation to you is to get your bloodwork done and see what your hormone levels are — do you make enough testosterone? Testosterone is required for women’s sexuality, believe it or not. When we’re younger, we have plenty of it (without seeming masculine), but as we get older, women’s testosterone levels drop significantly. This can be made worse if you have been taking products that give you extra estrogen, such as birth control, or eating unfermented soy products like soy milk, soy yogurt, or ingesting too many foods made with soy. Also get your thyroid levels checked as the thyroid regulates hormone production in the body.
The second area I would address if I were you is the porn. Don’t get me wrong, I love to watch beautiful, sensual erotica myself, but as with any item we start to “rely” on for orgasm, porn may now be a “crutch” for you. I gave up vibrators when I could no longer have an orgasm without them — I literally had no feeling in my clit or labia, and I wasn’t even using a vibrator that often. It took six months to be able to feel any sensation in my clit. You may have gotten to the point where you’ve unconsciously talked yourself into reaching climax “only” when watching porn, so the orgasm is less about your sexual happiness and connection to your self and more about a psychosomatic reflex — “muscle memory” triggered by watching porn, if you will.
Go porn-less for a few months and get back in touch with your body. Your body was naturally orgasmic. Allow the muscles and nerves and your autonomic nervous system to re-learn what came so easily back then — awaken that “muscle” memory! This will take time and will likely be very frustrating. I invite you to read through my DailyOJ if you want a friend-in-frustration because I certainly understand. I would recommend my “Allowing and Receiving post” any time you really feel the pull to give up the bodywork and go back to the porn. Again, I’m not saying you should never watch erotica again, just take a break for a little while. Or watch some erotica or scroll through my Tumblr to get the juices flowing, then turn it off when you start masturbating. Relax into your body, focusing on your body’s wants and needs, not what you think your body “should” want or how it “should” act/react. Read my post on “Lying Broken in Pieces As I Heal” to see this process from a different perspective.
The third issue here is the infrequency of the sexual relationship with your husband. I am wondering, “What’s wrong with him that he doesn’t want to make love to a woman just starting her sexual prime? What’s going on in his work? His life outside the relationship — with him as a man? What stresses does he experience with his job, deadlines, co-workers? Does he have any addictions (food, caffeine, alcohol, other) that could be affecting him? Does he have health issues that are affecting his emotions, blood circulation, sexual drive, and even his mental/psychological state? Does he experience erectile dysfunction? Is he not making enough testosterone at this point in his life?” Yes, men make less testosterone as they get older as well.
As a man in his 40′s, let’s say, he may have been brought up in the last generation of boys who were taught to solve problems for themselves, don’t ask for help — that’s a sign of “weakness,” men have to have all the answers, be the leaders. Men are still suffering from the strong-silent-type John Wayne persona they were forced to emulate all the while being fed the Renaissance Man/Prince stereotype who is supposed to sweep a woman off her feet, romance her endlessly, and the relationship bliss and passion just happen all the time by magic — as women have been brainwashed into believing thanks to “princess” animated movies, romance novels, and daytime soaps.
Orgasms can seem easy enough if you find the right sex position. But the want has to really be there as well as a healthy mind and a healthy body. It doesn’t sound to me like he wants to bridge the divide here. Sex 4 times a year is not a true relating-ship, in my opinion, especially since you have tried to talk with him and he has not been receptive to communication. There are deeper issues going on with him that he may not feel comfortable sharing… yet.
Getting back to you, though, I hope you’re not expecting him to “give” you orgasms or “make” you cum. You are 100% responsible for your own orgasms during sex — or even solo. I see you understand that orgasm is a mental process first for a woman. After all the disappointment you’ve faced with this, your mental outlook may verge on the pessimistic side. You have work to do, for sure, and you need to work on yourself and your self first.
Okay… I lied… there’s a fourth thing I want you to consider…
In this post on orgasms, I explain there are different types of orgasms: the physical reflex and the energetic response. You can frig off for hours and never orgasm, much less climax. Or you can rewire the body to the point where you just think the word “orgasm,” and you’re off into the La-La Land of Bliss. Get back to your body, and rewire from the parasympathetic nervous system outward. And remember, I’m working on an orgasm training method that teaches this very thing, so be sure to sign up for my newsletter.
I know, I know… Other peolpe are going to suggest you do all the work here — add the “romance” back in, wear some lingerie, light candles, cook him a nice dinner, give him a massage to loosen him up to get him in the mood. This is all superficial bullshit. Your relationship needs true communication re-building, and that begins with honest dialogue, not pretending the problems away.
To begin this journey of healing, begin with yourself. To heal the relationship, you MUST sit him down, either just the two of you or with a counselor. You cannot save the sex or the relationship by yourself.
I most heartfully wish you well in this. And for more in-depth personalized advice, I also do consults via phone or Skype.
The male prostate is a gland about the size of a walnut located in the male anus.
The prostate creates prostatic fluid that mixes with sperm from the testicles to form ejaculate. Once aroused, the male prostate has a texture like that of a walnut, similar to how the female prostate takes on a ridged feeling when aroused. Moving your finger back and forth (i.e., wagging your finger, or like a windshield wiper), you should feel the two lobes of the prostate — the gland is bisected by the urethra running through the middle of the prostate, just as the urethra runs through the middle of the prostate in women.
The prostate can be accessed indirectly, from the outside at the “sweet spot” on the perineum, or directly, inside by using a finger or sex toy in the anus. Experimenting with your prostate does not make a man gay. In fact, anal play, prostate massage, and prostate milking can be a very delicious part of a heterosexual couple’s lovemaking, especially in the form of slow sex and sacred sex.
Also in Tantra, the male prostate is considered to be the emotional center for a man in regard to his genitals. More than a few men, who have allowed a partner to do prostate milking on them, claim the prostate orgasm is the strongest, most intense, most emotionally moving orgasm they have ever experienced.
Many men who do prostate massage on a regular basis cannot fathom going back to their old orgasms. Common testimonials for these men also include the prostate orgasm is a “soulgasm,” and opens their hearts to their partners in ways they could never imagine before.
As with any anal play, safety precautions should always be followed to prevent the transference of fecal bacteria from the anal area to other body areas.
Condoms should be used on any sex toy that is inserted, and fitted latex gloves or finger cots can be used on the fingers to avoid having to wash your hands before fingering yourself elsewhere or fingering/touching your partner, as well as to avoid getting bacteria in a cut on the fingers.
Use lots of lubricant and massage the external anal sphincter completely to warm up and stretch the skin before trying to enter the anus. Silicone lube seems to work best and last the longest, but it is notoriously difficult to clean up afterward. Also, silicone lube will degrade the latex of condoms, so use only water-based lubricant or natural, unscented massage oil if using latex condoms.
The prostate can be a delicate gland. Direct stimulation should be slow and gentle at first to see what kind of pressure you like. If there is any pain, STOP. If there is any blood in your ejaculate or urine, see your healthcare professional.
PLEASE LEAVE A REPLY with your questions or detailing YOUR experiences (men and women).
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I love hearing from my readers, and here is an example of a great surprise comment I received over Twitter. It wasn’t necessarily the woman who experienced a change from her husband reading my blog — he did!
In the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to get back into the KSMO thing. After the debacle (with a couple of morons) on the forum, I didn’t do anything KSMO for 2 months. In the interim, I finally tried Om-ing and was shocked by the fabulous results I had with it as well as went a couple rounds with my new glass prostate wand and have loved playing with that ever since.
Oddly enough, I began to experience painful sensitivity in my nipples. Not the whole breasts, just the nipples. This was horribly sad because I have begun to rely on nipple stim as the appetizer that leads to the entree of arousal and delectable orgasmic desert(s) later on. Also, since beginning a regular-ish practice of sensual massage, I’ve found my hands on my breasts almost constantly whenever I’m naked. (That may seem weird, but since I spent most of my life hating my breasts, I’m actually just getting to know them.)
Nipple stimulation leads to a cervical, Kundalini orgasm in 10 to 30 seconds. If I continue the nipple and breast stimulation (as I’m wont to do), I can even get aroused enough to experience what author Diana Richardson calls the “YES!” of vaginal arousal, where the vaginal opening (the clitoral cuff of the PC muscles) opens and a finger or toy slides right in — no wiggling past the fleshy opening necessary to enter. The first time I felt my vagina open like that, it was as if my vulva was sighing a sweet, “Ahhhhh….” It felt amazing. Since then, I can sense when my vagina is open like that, waiting to be entered by… something. In fact, I’ve found myself awakening in the middle of the night from a sexual-infused dream and without touching my shaved vulva, I can tell I’m fully opened and in “YES!” mode.
With little notice, my nipples became painfully sensitive a few weeks ago. Even the air flow from the ceiling fan was painful. This made me pay attention to the rest of the breast (which, admittedly, is overlooked by men as well). I can only surmise that the pain was related to my hormonal cycles — it began a week after my period, through ovulation (think I caught the egg this month!), and a week after. This past week has been miraculously back to normal in sensation. However, the cervical O’s only came back in the last day or two, and they’re not as strong — but I did notice that the intensity is building back. Will have to work on those.
As for the energy in my legs, I don’t have much to report other than I’ve noticed weird pulsating, energy zaps down the backs of my legs recently. It feels like contractions (but not like a leg cramp). It’s as if it’s building energy, starting in my lower glutes/upper hamstrings and down to my calves. Strong sensations but not unpleasant.
I had full-body O’s during this last session with lots of energy in my legs — which is great because my legs are strong and tend to be very active during the last phase of arousal (shaking profusely) and during orgasms themselves (kicking out, pulling up, kicking out again, etc.). I can even feel my prostate coming back to life, which had also gone dormant in recent months.
As for regular orgasms, I’ve had my orgasms in the past few weeks, but they hadn’t been as satisfying as I’ve become accustomed since last Fall. I don’t know if this is related to the nipple pain or not. The breasts are indeed the gateway to orgasm (for me, anyway), so that may have been the cause for (what I consider) the lackluster orgasms — they were localized to the genitals, and even when they extended upward, they weren’t full-body… more … one-hit of orgasm, but not even an explosion. (Yes, this was with blended O stim.)
On the brighter side, I woke up from some sensual dream at 3:45 a.m. today, and unable to sleep, I laid in bed as I do with my legs spread open and massaged my breasts and labia. It was fabulous. I can’t count the number of cervical O’s I had with the breast stimulation, and even had a couple of energy zings from minor OM clit stimulation.
Will have to see where all this leads next… Being on my period, I won’t be able to play inside until Saturday or Sunday… well, I could, but man, I hate the “Clean up, aisle 12″ scenario. Guess it’s just me and my breasts till then!
(* In response to another question about fluids during sex.* )
You might watch your water intake so the bladder isn’t really filling up so quickly. But remember the female prostate is linked to the urethra — the prostate drains into the urethra as well as secretes fluids into the vagina. So it may actually be the lubricant/ejaculate plasma not urine, even though you have that urge to urinate and do release fluid after your orgasms. And even if it is urine, so WHAT?! Enjoy!
But the thoughts I had this morning, is that do men have such trouble with a full bladder and an erection? One former partner wouldn’t do morning sex without first a trip to the bathroom, which I totally understood — except he would spend more time in the bathroom trying to “talk down” his morning erection just to urinate, and then focus to get the erection again. I think the fear men have is urinating instead of or just after ejaculating. While I understand the “ewwww!” factor, the vagina is decidedly acidic with a pH of 3.8 to 4.5, and urine is sterile anyway, so it’s not like it would actually harm anything if urine came out… another reason for keeping towels handy.
In ancient cultures, all these fluids were viewed as sacred. So whatever the body does during arousal and orgasm is cool with me… as long as I don’t look fat doing it.
P.S. I’m looking up the Arvigo abdominal massage… sounds awesome and oh, so, timely for our world of couch potatoes and sitting-at-the-computer addicts (like me!).
Tonight: KSMO 20-minute practice session… may try not touching the clit… or do She-spot massage … AND tomorrow, I’m going to my first active participation with my new Kelly Howell Kundalini CD. I’ll post my results, to see if I feel that serpent energy slithering up my spine. … would be delish if my prostate can hold that arousal it’s been dishing up lately and have some chi raising up into my chest/breast area… hmmmmm…
Aroused and journaling,
(*In response to a question about the need to urinate during sex,more info requested on female ejaculation, and to explain what I meant by “She-spot.” *)
On the subject of urination and female ejaculation — Female ejaculate is not urine (but urine is sterile anyway); it’s the same plasma fluid like from the guys prostate — minus the little swimmers, of course.
And, yes, I call that super sensitive area on the anterior wall of my vagina my She-spot, or the female prostate. The “G” of “G-spot” stands for “Grafenberg,” a male doctor. I refuse to name that very sacred part of me after a man — no offense to any males who read this. I mean, would you want the scientific community to call your penis “Mildred?” My She-Spot and I rest our case.
Having intimate knowledge of my vagina, I have gone back to hands-only solo sex because I really want to enjoy the changes that happen inside — especially the vice-grip action that occurs by the clitoral cuff near orgasm. THAT’S AWESOME!
I had been using a vibe just to have an orgasm and enjoy the after effects of being relaxed and to get sleepy at nighttime. This last year of my life has been a monsoon of stress, and I felt like I had died inside — from years of a miserable marriage when I didn’t want to be sexual in any way, shape, or form. Since reclaiming my life, I am reclaiming my sexuality.
Hands in and on my girly bits have rekindled the fires inside. I truly love the way the prostate’s spongy tissues change inside. The She-Spot might not even be noticeable when you first stimulate the anterior wall, but it grows to a little pebble (always makes me think of the story, “The Princess and the Pea”). She can get bigger, to the size of a walnut in some women (just as that part of the male prostate grows when stimulated), and the spongy area gets more ridgy. Some women have described the feeling like corrugated cardboard, but I prefer to think of it like corduroy, or a small moist yet hard maze — a labyrinth of pleasure just wanting and waiting to be stimulated.
You can feel how aroused a woman is by noting these changes, especially if she is too timid to talk, or if she’s at the point where speaking is kinda not possible from all the great feelings swirling inside. And I do believe that that urination feeling is what keeps a lot women from opening up to orgasms. All the plumbing is connected, so feelings will crossover — like the accidental good feelings in the anal area which really freak some women out.
Just remind her that her body is hers, and you only want to help her discover all the great potential her body has for orgasms — for HER. Let her know you understand the human body makes weird sounds and releases all sorts of fluids, and it’s natural, and that you don’t care… (I’m assuming you don’t. )…
And BTW… I’m trying really hard NOT to do anything today. I’m sticking to sensual touching, which I’m finding very, very pleasant, especially the breasts’ area and the outer labia… just wish it weren’t my day off from sex… GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (haha)
P.S. On the subject of female ejaculation…
It seems that, for females, any noticeable fluid release during and/or after orgasm can be classified as ejaculate. In which case, I definitely qualify. This is probably what leads some women to think they get “too wet” during/after sex. And I myself have been told that I get “too wet,” and the guy feels it’s too slick in there, i.e., not enough friction — to which, I say, “Oh, well, too bad.” So it’s not just the gushing geyser of female power fluids that counts as having female ejaculated! But I’m still looking forward to the day when I can change my middle name to “Ol’ Faithful.”
Aroused and journaling,
I hate working my abs, which is why I never do. I do consciously engage them when I’m doing everyday things, when I lift something, or ride my bike. And I’ve become more purposely conscious of how my torso moves during sexual arousal and through orgasms (as much as I’m able to think). Sometimes I focus more on my abs, other times, I’m concentrating on my glutes during sex. Hey, it’s all exercise, right?
Coregasm is the pleasurable phenomenon of experiencing an orgasm while doing abdominal workouts, particularly exercises that engage the lower abs. Coregasm has been a hush-hush delight in the “gym rat” world, but word is getting out, and women around the country are now racing each other to get the Roman Chair machine before someone else does.
This ab/orgasm seems to hit after having done a few sets of lower ab work, when you’re near muscle failure. Some women have full-on orgasms while others experience intense arousal, still others report zaps of excitement. Even better, men report experiencing this kind of orgasm as well!
The lower abs are the abdominal muscles below the belly button. They are hard to isolate without falling into the trap of engaging the legs, hip flexors, glutes, or arching the lower back. However, several exercises that target these orgasmic tummy muscles are easy to do at home.
Aroused and crunching,
Being a multi-orgasmic woman is not easy.
Men are enamored of a woman’s ability to have multiple orgasms (MO). After all, a boy’s first exposure to sex is usually his father’s skin mag and porn collection, in which women are always strung out on orgasm-induced highs. Men can have multiple orgasms, too, but that doesn’t lessen the inherent jealousy many men feel towards women and our MO capabilities.
Multiple orgasms and the ease of having them is not the same for every woman. Some women might be able to access that part of themselves more easily and have MO’s effortlessly — like the chix in porn seem to. While we all have the “capability” of being multi-orgasmic, not all women know how to become multi-orgasmic — or want to.
I know that might be a bit of a shock to men, but many married women dread sex — they have no interest in it at all. And why should they? Studies repeatedly show 66 to 75% of women have never orgasmed during sex. So why would a woman want more or multiples of what she’s never experienced?
The reliable information on women’s sexuality is still in flux. A hundred years ago, medical science said women were not capable of orgasm, now we’re pressured into being multi-orgasmic — then hated by men when we are multi-orgasmic! Women can and do have orgasms, many different kinds of orgasms, thanks to self-discovery and self-pleasure of our multitude of spots and erogenous zones. But women need to have the orgasms for themselves, not for their partner. And yet another reminder — MEN can have MULTIPLE ORGASMS, too! (Jeez!)
Also, I know many women who are over feeling like we should live up to men’s expectations of the multiple (faked) orgasms of the Silicone Barbie in XXX films. Women are told we should talk dirty, wear lingerie, learn to striptease — when the hell have men EVER had to wear something special or learn to dance for US?!
Orgasm is all in the mind for a woman. Feeling sexy, sexual, sensual all begins in the mind, but for the average woman, her mind is already filled with everything else she has to do as a wife, mother, employee, and household slave. Feeling pressured to have multiple O’s to satiate the man’s ego creates stress which greatly inhibits the libido. The average American diet certainly doesn’t help either. Having orgasms then becomes something else that is for someone else — one more thing women do for other people and not for themselves.
This does not begin to touch on the fantasy world women create in their heads to deal with the mounting stresses of the husband, the kids, the boss, the neighbors, bills, and barely managing an over-scheduled life or reconciling the day-to-day mundanities of living an unfulfilled life. A woman’s mind is overfilled and overworked. Sometimes, there just isn’t room for herself or orgasm.
Some of us have had to learn to have multiple orgasms, and even still, we have to “work” for them. Sure, subsequent orgasms are easier after the first one or two, but don’t think we’re all going into cosmic orgasmic superconscious bliss automatically! Especially in solo sex, where the woman is doing all the stim herself — the hands and shoulders get very tired! It takes years of training to be able to zip right into the orgasm consciousness flow with little to no stimulation.
Maybe it’s easier to have MO’s during partnered sex because someone else is helping with the arousal energy… (which reminds me, summer’s coming, and I need to hire a pool boy )…
For a while I was able to use less stimulation, but I’m trying new things — new toys — new lubes — new techniques, So I don’t have one set way of doing anything right now. I will update on my progress as it happens!
Aroused and writhing,
As a radio personality, I love talking about subjects that mean a lot to me. As a woman, one of the most important topics is female sexuality — a women’s inherent right to be sexually satisfied. I was able to bring the two together when I interviewed Jack Johnston, discoverer of the Key Sound Multiple Orgasm Trigger Protocol. Listen to the replay.
Unfortunately, numerous studies prove that women are still not getting the orgasms we deserve. Between 70-75% of women have never orgasmed during sex. (I am one of those women.)
I firmly believe that a woman is 100% responsible for her own orgasms when she is with a partner. And the best way to learn how your body responds is by experimentation — ALONE. This is crucial if you have been in a long relationship, just got out of a long relationship, have had kids, or perhaps just got the kids off to college and you find yourself with more time to focus on your self. This alone time is also very beneficial if you are still in recovery from sexual abuse.
I found KSMO in 2006, but dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina quickly put my practice on hold. In 2010, I left my asshole marriage and became a single mom, so all of my attention became focused on keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table.
I came back to KSMO in August 2011 — when I realized that I could finally breathe and do something for myself, attending to my sensual and sexual needs that had been dormant for years (see aforementioned asshole marriage). The timing must have been right because I had wonderful immediate, sometimes startlingly amazing results achieving multiple orgasms every time I had sex using less stimulation… I’m proud to say I’m a Recovering Vibratoraholic. My sex life is much more “hands on” nowadays.
Having studied Tantra and Kundalini, chakra work and reiki, Buddhism and Hinduism, KSMO seemed to be the “boiled down/concentrated” version of these other more complex systems. But KSMO is deceptive in its simplicity. As a practice, you do have to practice — only a few times per week. One adept likened KSMO to a bamboo plant that will grow beneath the surface for a while then suddenly burst forth. KSMO is very much like that — it can take months of practice with seemingly no orgasmic progress, then suddenly your body is re-wired, re-energized, and you are changed.
Aside from the delicious multiple orgasms, KSMO brings on heartgasms, deskgasms, laughingasms. You’ll feel energy flowing through you; your hands and legs will buzz; and you will see the world differently. You may also find yourself dealing with long repressed emotions and memories. These “furballs” are common for KSMO practitioners to deal with. For those who are still dealing with sexual trauma, touching the genitals is NOT required to achieve orgasm through KSMO practice.
And while I’ve had my personal issues with a few male members on the Forum and had to address the topic of male jealousy of female orgasms, I don’t discount the value of the KSMO Forum or Jack’s work. So listen to the program, and if you get it (I hope you do!), tell Jack you heard about it from Lava, KSMO’s resident Orgasm Goddess.