Is menopause the wilting stage for women?
Menopause is a WONDERFUL time for women sexually! It’s the first time in a woman’s life that she can have true sexual freedom, knowing she can have as much sex as she wants and she can’t get pregnant. Menopause is FREEING for women! (Of course, safe sex measures should still be practiced to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.)
If a woman monitors her health, especially her hormones, women can enjoy sex right up till the day they die. Hell, orgasm would be a great way to die! :-) Just slip right on over to the Other Side since you’re already there anyway.
We enter the physical body for a reason — to have physical experiences. One of the most joyous physical experiences is the sexual experience, whether partnered or solo. As someone of Gaelic (Scotch-Irish) descent, I follow the path of my ancestors — we are spirit beings here to have physical experiences while maintaining our connection to the spiritual side. So I’m enjoying the ride as much as I can. :-)
* EXTRA*: Use of synthetic hormones, i.e., synthetic Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), is now associated with increased risks of cancer in women. Some women prefer using plant-based progesterone, which is a pre-cursor to both estrogen and testosterone. Testosterone is required for a healthy libido in both men and women. Too much estrogen is not good for either men or women.
Avoid getting extra estrogen from your food, such as unfermented soy which pervades the American food supply and is very high phytoestrogens. Unfermented soy products include soy milk, soy baby formula, vegetable oil (soy/soybean), soy yogurt, soy cheese, soy creamer, soy ice cream, tofu — and any product made from tofu, etc. Fermented soy products can be beneficial (as are all fermented foods), such as tempeh, miso, and tamari (real soy sauce).
Being healthy overall is required for a healthy vagina (or male prostate). Get adequate amounts of vitamins and minerals from your foods and/or quality supplements, plus healthy saturated fats, Omega-3’s, etc., and stay AWAY from processed foods. Buy organic, locally-grown food whenever you can. Eat seasonally-grown foods. Be able to source all your ingredients. While on the course of improving your health, if you don’t make it from scratch, don’t eat it.
Being healthy will help minimize the symptoms of PMS and menopause — and YES, men do have hormonal fluctuations each month and later in life when their libido may drop due to declining health or bad dietary habits. That is, men should be able to get and maintain erections whenever they want, regardless of age. Erections are a direct result of a man’s health.
One of the side effects of menopause is vaginal dryness, or not making as much natural lubrication as a woman used to. In fact, women can experience vaginal dryness at any age, especially if she ingests a lot of caffeine or other dehydrating substance, but a lessening in the production of vaginal juices can be common from the age of 40 onward. Regardless of age, the vagina will let you know when she is lubricated enough for penetration. Do NOT confuse a woman being aroused for sex with her vagina being ready for sex. (Yes, men, this takes 15 to 30 minutes of “foreplay”. Get over it.)
To avoid vaginal dryness and lack of libido, drink plenty of water each day — an ounce of water per pound of body weight. Eat lots of veggies — I love my Franken-Salad. Also, eat lean protein and complex carbs. Whether or not you’re gluen-free, vegetables actually have lots of carbohydrates in them. Eat healthy saturated fats such as macadamia nuts or other nuts, and get plenty of Omega-3’s from eggs, fish oil, and/or chia seeds. Cacao (dark chocolate) is also great for boosting libido.
Menopause is NO reason to stop feeling sexy! Use nutrition to supply your brain and body with peak quantities of the nutrients they need to function, with plenty left over for extracurricular fun-ctions like sex and orgasm. Moderate exercise, such as walking, yoga, or dancing, is always great for maintaining a steady supply of the body’s happy hormones as well as keeping the muscles toned and ligaments and tendons flexible for interesting sex positions. Don’t forget — sex is exercise, too!
Needing a little extra help with lubrication or libido is normal at any time in a woman’s (or man’s) life, especially if she’s (he’s) under a lot of stress. However, there’s no reason to let your sex life go the way of the dinosaurs when a few changes in your nutrition, daily habits, and health can turn it all around.
No sex because of menopause? Ha! Sexual freedom, here we cum!
If you’ve ever read my AskTrish series on my blog, then you only have a small sampling of the varied kinds of questions I get from my readers.
Tonight, I’ll focus on questions regarding the penis and male sexual anatomy, since several men have written in with questions and concerns about their favorite body part… with a couple of relationship questions thrown in.
To listen and participate in the LIVE #AskTrish, check out the show at 9:00 p.m. ET: Trish Causey Hosts a LIVE AskTrish Q & A – Male Sexuality
Questions in queue:
- Is it possible for someone to forget how to have “good/great” sex?
- How important is it for a man to know how to cook?
- Cleaning process for male prostate massage?
- Is there a certain color most glans are?
- Man wants to tell wife his secret solo act but is scared.
Feel free to call in with YOUR question! During the LIVE show, dial (347) 884-8792 or post your question in the online chat room. You can also call in via Skype — click the blue Skype icon by the phone number at the top of the player when the show is LIVE.
Looking forward to hearing from you!
The male prostate is a gland about the size of a walnut located in the male anus.
The prostate creates prostatic fluid that mixes with sperm from the testicles to form ejaculate. Once aroused, the male prostate has a texture like that of a walnut, similar to how the female prostate takes on a ridged feeling when aroused. Moving your finger back and forth (i.e., wagging your finger, or like a windshield wiper), you should feel the two lobes of the prostate — the gland is bisected by the urethra running through the middle of the prostate, just as the urethra runs through the middle of the prostate in women.
The prostate can be accessed indirectly, from the outside at the “sweet spot” on the perineum, or directly, inside by using a finger or sex toy in the anus. Experimenting with your prostate does not make a man gay. In fact, anal play, prostate massage, and prostate milking can be a very delicious part of a heterosexual couple’s lovemaking, especially in the form of slow sex and sacred sex.
Also in Tantra, the male prostate is considered to be the emotional center for a man in regard to his genitals. More than a few men, who have allowed a partner to do prostate milking on them, claim the prostate orgasm is the strongest, most intense, most emotionally moving orgasm they have ever experienced.
Many men who do prostate massage on a regular basis cannot fathom going back to their old orgasms. Common testimonials for these men also include the prostate orgasm is a “soulgasm,” and opens their hearts to their partners in ways they could never imagine before.
As with any anal play, safety precautions should always be followed to prevent the transference of fecal bacteria from the anal area to other body areas.
Condoms should be used on any sex toy that is inserted, and fitted latex gloves or finger cots can be used on the fingers to avoid having to wash your hands before fingering yourself elsewhere or fingering/touching your partner, as well as to avoid getting bacteria in a cut on the fingers.
Use lots of lubricant and massage the external anal sphincter completely to warm up and stretch the skin before trying to enter the anus. Silicone lube seems to work best and last the longest, but it is notoriously difficult to clean up afterward. Also, silicone lube will degrade the latex of condoms, so use only water-based lubricant or natural, unscented massage oil if using latex condoms.
The prostate can be a delicate gland. Direct stimulation should be slow and gentle at first to see what kind of pressure you like. If there is any pain, STOP. If there is any blood in your ejaculate or urine, see your healthcare professional.
PLEASE LEAVE A REPLY with your questions or detailing YOUR experiences (men and women).
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Female ejaculation has long been a source of titillation, as it has been referenced in ancient texts such as the Kama Sutra and even mentioned in the works of Shakespeare. Indigenous cultures that maintain ties to a matriarchal-based society and spirituality still teach the practice to their young females. However, in Western society, female ejaculation used to be seen only in fetishist porn (and perhaps, out-of-hand office parties) — or worse, denied completely by the scientific medical community.
Many women have endured the shame of having “wet the bed” during sex or the embarrassment of extra fluid “down there,” with some undergoing the butchery of surgery at the advice of a clueless doctor for presumed urinary incontinence. It sickens me to think that women have endured shame and embarrassment about a natural bodily fluid simply because Western medicine did not take female sexuality seriously enough to give it the same attention, time, and research dollars as male anatomy and male sexual function.
Ancient Taoist texts from 4th century China, ancient Indian sex position manuals, as well as the Western writings of Aristotle and Galen all mention female ejaculation. In the 16th century, Reinjier De Graaf wrote the first “scientific” description of female ejaculation fluid — or “pituitoserous juice” — and was also the first to use the term “female prostate” when referring to the periurethral glands.
The Marquis de Sade described female ejaculate in detail, and even Shakespeare wrote about a woman’s gushing abilities when referencing “the waters of her love.” For modern science and medicine, it was not until 1952 that the female prostate and its functions were taken seriously, when Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg, for whom the term “G-Spot” was named, published “The role of the urethra in female orgasm.”
In The Story of V: A Natural History of Female Sexuality, Catherine Blackledge details several cultures around the world that encourage female ejaculation, including the Batoro, Mohave Indians, Mangaians, Ponapese, as well as indigenous tribes in South American and even California. She notes that older women of the Batoro instruct the younger pubescent women the art of “kachapati” — that is, how to spray the wall.
To prove female ejaculation actually existed, scientists have had to determine the chemical composition of the ejaculate fluid — to differentiate it from urine. They also needed to discover the source of the ejaculate. But first, they had to find women who can “gush” on demand, who would be willing to undergo clinical tests.
In 2010, Joanna B. Korda, MD, Sue W. Goldstein, BA, and Frank Sommer, MD, set out to demystify female ejaculation and wrote their findings in a paper called “The History of Female Ejaculation” in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Volume 7, Issue 5, pages 1965–1975, May 2010.
“Although emission of female Yin-Chi essence during orgasm is a philosophical concept, we provide justiﬁcation that female ejaculation, deﬁned as expulsion of a signiﬁcant amount of ﬂuid during orgasm, has been known and described in important documents by intellectual leaders of both eastern and western cultures for more than 2,000 years. We demonstrate intellectual concepts about female ejaculaton during orgasm in different cultures from approximately 300 B.C. to 1952 A.D., when Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg wrote an article titled ‘The role of the urethra in female orgasm.’” (J Sex Med 2010;7:1965–1975)
In writing about the Chinese view of Yin/Yang and Chi, Korda et al go on to say:
Women were said to have an inexhaustible supply of Yin essence while men had a limited supply of Yang. Before a man was allowed to ejaculate, he had to prolong sexual intercourse making a woman orgasm several times to acquire her Ching (Yin) essence.
(Three cheers for Chinese wisdom!)
Looking like a bristly tube, the female prostate envelopes the urethra, with some of the ducts draining into the urethra while others conjoin to the vaginal anterior wall, draining fluid (sometimes an opaque milky fluid) into the vagina during direct stimulation.
The female prostate fluid has been analyzed in scientific research settings and found to be comprised of prostate-specific antigen (PSA), prostate-specific acid phosphatase (PSAP or PAP), and glucose (a sugar). This recipe is also the basis for male prostatic ejaculate, minus the sperm. Some research suggests that the PAP fluid is always being produced by the female prostate, quite possibly from the onset of puberty. I would guess this to be at least part of the milky white discharge women routinely find in the crotch of their underwear. While minute amounts of uric acid have been found in prostatic fluid in men and women, neither male nor female ejaculate is urine nor urine-based.
In the 2007 paper published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, entitled “The Female Prostate Revisited: Perineal Ultrasound and Biochemical Studies of Female Ejaculate,” Florian Wimpissinger, MD, FEBU, Karl Stifter, PhD, and Walter Stackl, MD, sought to investigate the nature of female ejaculate fluid as well as determine the anatomy responsible for creating it. They studied the orgasmic response and fluid produced by two women, ages 44 and 45, “who reported actual ejaculations during orgasm.”
The doctors used “ultrasound imaging, biochemical studies of the ejaculated fluid, and endoscopy of the urethra… to identify a prostate in the female.” They compared the women’s ejaculate to pre-orgasmic urine, finding both women had higher levels of PSA, PAP, and glucose but lower creatinine levels in the ejaculate than the urine. Interestingly, the PSA levels were comparable to those of men. The doctors had established that the fluid released during the women’s orgasms was in fact not urine but a unique substance all its own.
Their results and conclusions:
“On high-definition perineal ultrasound images, a structure was identified consistent with the gland tissue surrounding the entire length of the female urethra. On urethroscopy, one midline opening (duct) was seen just inside the external meatus in the six-o’clock position. Biochemically, the fluid emitted during orgasm showed all the parameters found in prostate plasma in contrast to the values measured in voided urine.”
“Data of the two women presented further underline the concept of the female prostate both as an organ itself and as the source of female ejaculation.” (J Sex Med 2007;4:1388–1393)
In 2009, female British porn director Anna Span won a monumental victory for the veracity of female ejaculation when she knowingly submitted a film with “gushing” scenes for approval by the British Board of Film Classification. The BBFC does not allow films showing urination to be granted classification, and based upon (faulty) medical advice, the BBFC had a general ruling against female ejaculation in film, having been told it does not exist and any appearance of fluid being expelled by a female during sex was urine.Span was ready for the confrontation, sending the film’s model to a regulated lab to have her ejaculate tested (it was shown not to be urine), and she wrote a lengthy and detailed letter to the BBFC, providing the juicy details of the film shoot:
“I would also like to add to this that all members of the crew including myself witnessed the ejaculation and knew that the speed, volume, viscosity, smell and sight were all very different from urine. To be honest we were all very shocked by it! Especially Dean who received the ejaculate in his mouth…”
Like men, women do not need to orgasm to ejaculate, and vice versa — we don’t need to ejaculate in order to have an orgasm. But many women who ejaculate say it does correspond with the onset of orgasm or through repetitive, vigorous stimulation of the prostate gland after the initial orgasm. Some women find that simultaneous stimulation of the prostate and the A-spot (in the AFE zone) is required to achieve ejaculation.
As noted on The Clitoris website:
“The female prostate will continue to produce fluid for as long as a woman is sexually aroused, and as result a woman could produce more than 0.2 to 2.0 oz of ejaculate if multiple releases of fluid occurs. If the female prostate fills and empties at a rapid rate that would explain the larger volumes of fluid measured by some investigators. It would also mean the longer a woman’s orgasm lasted the more she would ejaculate, as is often the case. If this is all true it is possible for a woman to ejaculate a considerable amount of fluid without it being liquid from the bladder.
So how do you know whether the fluid is urine or female ejaculate? Urine is said to taste salty, and since female ejaculate is comprised of a form of sugar, it should taste sweet. This sweet component is the reason why ancient texts termed female ejaculation fluid as “sweet nectar of the gods.”
Acknowledging the existence of the Female Prostate was the first step in a centuries-long battle women’s sexuality has fought with the male-dominated Western “science.” A hundred years ago, Western science thought women were incapable of orgasm while perpetuating misogynist notions that women — “good” women — had no sexual desires or needs. This blatant denial of the importance of understanding female anatomy and female sexual function directly hindered the progress of women’s rights in society, including our rights to be sexual beings.
I shudder to think of the number of women who have undergone extensive medication usage or even surgery to “fix” a perceived problem of urinary incontinence, when the fluid may have in fact been female ejaculate.
Expelling of ejaculate fluid is a natural and wonderful perk to being female. And it’s no surprise to me that the doctors and activists leading the charge to verify and legitimize female ejaculation are women.
Aroused and stimulated,