Awakening Sexuality & Activism for Women's Rights

sacred sex

OpEd: British Art Installation Piece Celebrates ‘The Great Wall of Vagina’


Jamie McCartney's 'Great Wall of Vagina'Jamie McCartney is a British artist who created an art installation piece of plaster casts called “The Great Wall of Vagina”.  On his website are images of the entire installation along with the motto, “Changing female body image through art”.

His website explains the art piece:

The 9 metre long polyptych consists of four hundred plaster casts of vulvas, all of them unique, arranged into ten large panels. McCartney set out to make this project as broad and inclusive as possible. The age range of the women is from 18 to 76. Included are mothers and daughters, identical twins, transgendered men and women as well as a woman pre and post natal and another one pre and post labiaplasty.

One of the many reasons I love this piece is because when I directed/ produced a production of The Vagina Monologues in 2006, one of the comments repeatedly mentioned by women who auditioned was how much they hate what their vagina looks like.  Of course, they were actually referring to the vulva — as does this art piece (hint: the vagina is the inside part).  Only one female at the auditions, a 24 year old girl who had not yet had kids, said she loved how her vulva looked like a beautiful flower.  One woman said her “vagina” was ugly because she’d had 4 kids.  Frankly, I don’t think most women know what our genitals are supposed to look like because our perception is skewed by porn and skin mags.

The month that I turned 40, I took pictures of my vulva and saw my vulva for the very first time ever (not counting when I was in labor and saw my daughter’s head crowning in the mirror up on the wall of the delivery room — I’m nearsighted so I couldn’t really see it).  Turning 40, I wanted to love my body visually the way I adore my body sensually.  But seeing my vulva pics, I burst into tears because she looked so different than what I envisioned. My fair-skinned legs and rosy labia were not what I’m accustomed to seeing because most of the women I’ve seen in erotic photos are tan.  Then there was my clitoral hood and the shape of my inner labia…. I thought, “WHY would a man like this?!  I look so different….”

I deleted the pics immediately.  But I took some more pictures the next day, and this time I didn’t cry.  I guess I was getting accustomed to seeing what I look like.  I sent the pics to 3 guy friends I could trust to tell me the truth, and each one said my vulva was beautiful.  I was really annoyed with myself that I felt I needed that kind of validation, especially from men, but men know vulvas, and they know what men like in a juicy yoni.  And frankly, if I’d sent my pics to other women, would the women have been grossed out because they likewise have little clue what “vaginas” are supposed to look like?

As I continued to look at my vulva pictures (and even took some more), it was amazingly empowering to know and love my genitals and not compare mine to women in porn or magazines.  Aside from the genital grooming that is prolific in erotic photography, many people don’t realize that porn performers often have cosmetic surgery to alter their genitals, including labioplasty to make the labia smaller or conform to some ridiculous notion of what labia are “supposed” to look like.

This brings me to my point and yet another aspect of healing women’s body image.  There is NO one way a vulva is supposed to look.  Every vulva is different.  Comparing vulvas is like comparing snowflakes — each one is unique and beautiful in her own way.

I think McCartney’s work is very important for a few reasons.  One, he cast all sorts of women when making his plaster art, and you see all sorts of labia shapes and sizes (and piercings!) represented.  Also, because the work is in plaster as opposed to photography or paint, race is not an issue, and all the vulvas can be appreciated without an ingrained idea that “white chick” vulvas are more pleasing to the eye.

Check out McCartney’s website to see the many other panels in this art installation.

trish

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Review: “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure” – A How-To Video for Women to Enjoy Giving Head


Oral Sex for Her Video Training FellatioI recently saw the initial release of a new how-to video series, “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure”.  I would have assumed that such a women-centric company like OneTaste would have created a cunnilingus how-to, but they have done the unexpected by creating a video that explains how a woman can receive pleasure from giving a man fellatio.  I can heartily recommend this video to any man or woman who wants to learn a little more about how women can truly enjoy giving oral sex.

Now, this is certainly not news to me — I orgasm just thinking about giving a man head.  Spontaneous orgasms just hit.  I love the feel of my mouth being full with a man’s penis.  The taste, the smell, the texture.  I absolutely love it.  And the truth is, when a woman gives great head, she owns the man.  Seriously.

Whenever I give a man oral sex, I always tell him emphatically, “Lay back.  This is for me.  If you enjoy it, that’s a side benefit.”  I have always loved giving fellatio, or as I call it lingam puja (penis worship).  Even in the midst of a miserable marriage, I still loved giving oral sex.  I figured out that giving him a blow job once per week meant he didn’t complain about bills.  And while I loathe the term “blow job”, that time of my life is the only time oral sex felt like a job — a chore, and yet I still loved the act of fellatio itself, even though I detested the man attached to the penis.

The concept behind the “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure” video and corresponding training materials hinges on the fact that women can indeed enjoy giving men oral sex.  If she doesn’t want to do oral sex or has a negative perspective due to bad experiences, then she might want to see how much pleasure she can have from it.  The first step in a woman receiving pleasure while giving head is realizing that the woman has to want to give head.

Now, before you cry, “That’s male bullshit!”, I understand if you haven’t always (or ever) enjoyed oral sex.  Cultural and religious demonization of sexuality, women, women’s bodies, and women’s sexual pleasure have brainwashed society for over 1,700 years, since the rise of imperial patriarchal religion crushed the remaining woman-centic goddess cultures.  Women have absorbed this anti-sex and anti-pleasure propaganda, compounded by bullying about how women smell “down there”, and the ludicrous farce of how women are portrayed in most porn.  Erotica is woman-centric and respectful of women.  And we are a new generation of women who love ourselves and love sexuality without shame or apology!

Some things you will LOVE about this how-to video:

  • It’s only $8.
  • The woman is not a size 2.
  • Her breasts are real.
  • The man is UNcircumcised!!!  Yes, a real, natural, intact penis!!!  Woo-hoo!!!

In fact, she almost apologizes that, at the beginning, his penis is soft.  So allow me to say for once and for-fucking-all — the SOFT penis is a marvelous thing!  In Tantra, we have several nifty positions and activities for the soft penis, including soft entry penetration (yes, the man enters the vagina with a soft penis) and lingam massage, which is best done with a soft penis to help direct energy flow up into the torso, arms, and legs, rather than out the tip of the penis (helps with ejac control, too).  So starting an oral session with a soft penis is fantastic because you get to experience how his body feels as the penis changes in size and hardness.  (You control him.)

Back to the video….  She talks about her experience in learning to love oral sex.  She also tells the good, bad, and ugly of what intense oral sex does for the woman, including the “furrowed brow” which is a tale-tell sign a woman is in orgasm, the deep-throating technique, as well as the steady stream of “snot” from her nose and the “spot” in the woman’s mouth that triggers orgasms throughout her body.  Yes, you will absolutely see the “snot” running out of her nose.  Yes, you see her crying several times from the intensity of the orgasms.  I’ve written plenty of times here about how the more gut-wrenching my crying is directly equates to the intensity of my orgasm(s).  Crying is an integral part of my orgasmic experience, so it’s great to hear other women talking about this topic as well.

As for the “snot”, I would like to clarify that she is not referring to the thick, gross “snot” of a sinus infection, but rather the normal sinus muscosa you have draining down the back of your throat 24/7.  This mucosa is a necessary moisturizing lubricant for the back of the pharynx (very back of the mouth, top of the throat).  In fact, when you don’t have this normal nasal drip, you may experience a dry cough or have clogged sinuses.  So this mucosa is what she has dripping from her nose — but that’s okay!  Vaginal fluids are also a type of mucosa (derived from the plasma from the blood in the vaginal walls’ muscular tissue), and men LOVE lapping it up!  So let the snot run!  After all, when your mouth is full of penis, the only way the snot can go is out your nose (or your ear, but that would take a miracle of physics).

Another thing you’re likely to notice in her technique is that she is actually quite still — remember me talking about slow sex?  In Tantra, there is a technique of motionless sex — yes, motionless!  The oral technique as shown in the video will help any woman out there who’s gotten whiplash bobbing her head up and down while giving a blow job.  (Again, most porn is ridiculous).  If you want to learn some groovy info and techniques, watch this how-to.

I can definitely recommend this affordable $8 video that can introduce you to the amazing world of women’s pleasure as instructed in “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure”.  I give my full approval of the information in this video and all the products they have.  THEY LOVE WOMEN!  And when you’ve seen it, come back here, and leave a comment telling me what YOU think of the video!

trish


This Week on ArousedWoman Radio: American Indian Rights, Fascism, Meditation, Oh, My!


ArousedWoman Radio with Trish Causey - 2013For those of you who follow my blog and now listen to my radio show, I just wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU! for being patient with me while I get this show up and running.  You are all AWESOME!

And yes…. I will eventually get back to actually writing here on the blog… quite possibly tomorrow!  (I JUST realized I haven’t done a DailyOJ post since the beginning of MARCH! ACK!!)

I have tried to pack lots of shows into the AW Radio schedule so you can see the wide range of topics that interest me and that I hope interest you.  In less than three weeks, I’ve had 2,685 listeners tune in as I covered why American politics sucks, talked with a Broadway composer who’s premiering his new LGBT work, interviewed a Broadway Tony winner on women archetypes in theatre, as well as interviewed a Kundalini master teacher, covered “Sex and the Voice” and “Porn vs. Erotica,” along with tackling Male Sexuality and Female Sexuality, and sex…. (and did I mention, sex?…  Oh… Just making sure. :-D )

This week on ArousedWoman Radio Tuesday through Saturday at 9:00 p.m. ET each night, the topics are just as diverse:

Listeners can call in to the show to ask a question or make a comment by dialing (347) 884-8792 (NOT toll-free), or by calling in via Skype using the BLUE SKYPE ICON on the LIVE show page.  (Do NOT call me directly on Skype! :-) )

Before I started the radio show, the #1 question I got was, “What does your voice sound like?”  Well, now you know!…. And now, the most common question I get is, “When are you doing another show?”  THIS IS AWESOME! :-)  I’m so glad people are looking forward to my shows.

But the real answer is this — I hope to have the radio show on a regular schedule of interview-type shows on Tuesdays and Thursdays with Fridays saved for AskTrish and Anatomy shows.  Wednesdays have been tough for people to tune in to the live show, and doing shows on Fridays have been very popular.  So I’m still tweaking the schedule.  Doing 4 to 5 shows per week is a LOT of work, so I’m hoping to taper off to 3 shows per week starting in July.

So until then…. THANK YOU for listening AND reading!

If YOU have a person you’d like me to interview or a topic you’d like me to cover, please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

To submit a question you’d like me to cover on an AskTrish show, submit your query via my AskTrish page on my website.  Also, look through the AskTrish posts here on the blog to see if I’ve already covered it.  If I have, feel free to write in anyway, so we can get you answered on an upcoming LIVE AskTrish radio show.

All replays are available on the website: ArousedWoman.com.

And on a side note, a few things:

  • Please take my Orgasm Questionnaire (’cause I’m nosy that way!).
  • Sign up for my newsletter because I’ll start doing online workshops soon!
  • If you like what I’m doing, please consider making a tax-deductible donation to keep the radio show going on my AW Radio crowdfunding page.  I’ve posted some nifty Rewards, so take a look.  As most of you know, I’m a single mom trying to Be the Change, and I know that sometimes even $5 is a lot of money.  So I greatly appreciate every dollar that you donate to the show.  EVERY bit helps! :-)
  • AND I uploaded a test video onto YouTube.  Check it out if you haven’t seen it.  (Yes, I know the resolution sucks… darn front-facing iPhone cam!)

Thank you!  And I hope you’ll tune in and call in to a LIVE ArousedWoman Radio show soon!

MWAH  xoxo

trish


DailyOJ 03-01-13, Part 2: New Toy Brings a Clear Vision


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

Cernunnos-blue-face-hands-edited*Read Part 1.*

The fourth time with the new toy was a mixed, weird, confusing experience.  Suffice it to say, this guy requires lube — lots of lube.  I had already done a blended orgasm with my new glass toy (more on that later) to prime my vaginal opening, get the juices flowing, start stretching the vaginal muscles inside, etc.  As before, the head took a couple of tries to fully enter, and as the head/corona passed my prostate, I felt a slight sting, but it wasn’t as bad as the first few times.  I thought, “Great, I’m adjusting to him.”  Then feeling the shaft enter, I was breathless again at the feeling of being so very filled and stretched.

Since I’d started my session early, around 10:30 a.m., I felt no rush to finish with Bob.  In fact, over the next couple of hours, I would do a round of sliding him in and out slowly for about 15 minutes, then pull him out, and relax in a blissful stupor for another 20 to 30 minutes, having nipple orgasms, sheet orgasms, clit and spontaneous O’s, then I’d reach for Bob again for another slow and easy go of it.

Each time, I did not bring myself to climax with Bob, just enjoyed the orgasms from the slow and steady pace and the occasional hard and fast thrusting and pulling out to float in that bliss for a while, then starting it all over again.

Around 2 p.m., I began again, knowing I was wet from the other orgasms, I didn’t lube Bob this time.  I noticed, he wasn’t moving as smoothly as he had before.  I needed some lube.  Then Stupid Me showed up and totally screwed this whole experience up.  The feelings in my vagina were the same as when I endured friction sex while married.  Though my ex-Asshole isn’t nearly this wide, he hated me getting too wet.  This dry, friction feeling was then “familiar,” and being a little lazy, I thought I’d just put up with it because I really wanted the great orgasms I’d had the other few times with this toy.

Every time Smart Me said, “Man, I need lube,” Stupid Me overruled that inner voice with, “You put up with it when you were married, put up with it now and finish.”  As the friction got to be too much, Smart Me won the debate, and I put a little bit of lube on the toy and re-inserted.  I felt immediate stinging, more stinging, then being filled by the shaft, and then a surge of heat — not in a good way.  I continued on, now that he was properly lubed, imagining my Dream Man, and long story short, I finished.  Yes, the orgasm was great… but it was… weird… but it was beautiful… but weird.

I felt a strange emotion — yes, I cried, but there was something else.  During that last bit, I had a realization of just what this toy represented for me.  The images and feelings conjured during this session were so intensely powerful, I instantly knew who he was.  The experience had become emotional during the session, and now, afterward, I wanted to give him a name, a sacred name.  And I did.  And I cried some more.  I lay there for a while in my reverie, feeling a new awareness of completeness.

Knowing I needed to get up, I realized my fingers felt a bit strange, so I looked at them.  My hands were covered in blood.  I wasn’t on my period.   I looked at the toy, and he was bloody, too.  I got up and went to the bathroom and opened my legs up to the full-length mirror.  My labia and thighs were bloody, and I had an immediate flashback to when I was raped at 21, after which I bled for 4 days.  I remembered a couple other times I bled a little after friction sex.

As it so happened with this fourth time with this toy, I bled that night and the next day, but that was it.  I have not noticed any blood or change in vaginal discharge.  I never felt any pain, aside from the uncomfortableness in the moment of the “friction sex” before I re-lubed the toy.

In fact, in the couple days since, today now being 03-03-13, I have enjoyed all my usual orgasms and my new gentle-touch prostate orgasms.  Everything is functioning perfectly.

Which leads me to an esoteric interpretation… In the very emotional moments of that last part of the session, I had a very clear vision of my Dream Man.  He was absolutely clear to me.  He is a feeling and an energy.  I knew him so well, I called him a sacred name for the very first time, and I subsequently bestowed that name on the toy who is his physical representation for me.

Blood has a life force.  Blood used to be an important part of rituals and taking oaths.  To this day, Christians symbolically ingest the blood of Jesus when they participate in the ritualized cannibalistic practice of Communion/Eucharist.  As a pagan witch, considering who and what this energy/feeling began to represent — my Dream Man, I’m not surprised that blood would have manifested as a sort of initiation with this new, clear vision — a consummation, as it were.

And yes, I know I sound crazy — I’m an artist, I always sound a bit crazy.  Most people are so keyed in to the physical side of sex or climax, they miss subtleties of energy or awakenings that may be present.  This vision I saw is no different than imagining a scene in one’s mind to help the arousal process along, but the difference here is that he appeared to me, and I knew him instantly.

Esoteric interpretations aside, I will have to see how using “Bob” (no, that’s not his sacred name!) goes tomorrow or the next day.  I did not bleed the other 3 times, so I’m hoping that with plenty of lube, Bob and I will be hunky-dorey in our future rendezvous sessions.

Seriously, though, this experience was powerful for me, and though the blood had me a bit worried for that day, I’m hoping it was just a fluke… or an initiation.

Aroused and pondering the possibilities,

trish

Recommended Products:
 

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Anatomy: Female Ejaculation and Woman’s Ability to Conceive


Female Ejaculation - Prostate Orgasm Up CloseI came across a great site about yoni and all things Tantric for women and emotionally secure men.  The blog is by a Tantrika/Dakini who is the “real deal,” not one of the so-called “urban tantra” bullshit artists.  However, the following comment one man left on her blog shows just how little is still known about women’s anatomy and sexuality in popular culture thanks to women’s sexuality being vilified by misogynist religion and ignored in Western medicine and academia, while superstitions and myths are still rampant.

(Note:  Misspellings are left in.)

i am just curious about one thing if stimulation is done aftifically with fingers on G spot its surely making pleasure for woman but does it keep woman healthy enough to be fertile and gave birth to kids after such an act. my question is can woman still conceive or become pregnant if she is ejaculating with fingers on G spot or it odes affect its reproductive system?

(XXXXXX)

I just posted this response, and so far it hasn’t been approved — fingers crossed, it will be. :-)

Dear (XXXXXX),

You seem to be more concerned with your masculinity and virility than the woman’s pleasure. Your patriarchal, misogynist ego will be pleased to know that the female prostate’s ability to induce full-body/wave orgasms and secrete prostatic fluid has nothing to do with the viability of the woman’s eggs. If you’re concerned about being able to conceive, go get your sperm count checked before assuming any conception problem’s are the woman’s fault.

trish

Seriously.  A woman ejaculating isn’t birth control… If it were, almost every woman between the ages of 15 and 50 would be drenching the sheets — every day, twice a day!  (But please don’t let the GOP Republicans think it’s birth control ’cause they’d just criminalize that, too.)

Guys… female ejaculation is a beautiful thing.  The biggest concern you should have with helping a woman ejaculate is can you drink it all up so her love nectar isn’t wasted.

I’ve covered this all before, but let’s go over the basics of female ejaculation:

  • All women should be capable of ejaculating.  Fear of urinating is what usually stops a woman from ejaculating even if the stimulation techniques are correct.  (Other  issues that can contribute to a woman not ejaculating include being dehydrated or the emotional/psychological issues from past sexual trauma.)
  • Female ejaculate is NOT urine.  It is prostatic fluid and mostly glucose, hence its sweet flavor and labeling by the ancients as the “nectar of the gods.”
  • The amount of fluid released will vary from woman to woman — from a couple tablespoons to a couple cups of fluid, and can vary from release to release, even within the same sexual session.
  • If a woman feels pressured by her partner to ejaculate in the first place — much less burst forth a specific amount, this can activate stress hormones and prevent her from getting wet at all — even though vaginal fluid is a different cocktail than prostate fluid.

Are we clear on this?  Women experiencing mind-boggling pleasure is actually healthy  for the woman physically, emotionally, psychologically, as well as sexually.  Loving the vulva and vagina via yoni massage is one of the most beautiful  ways you can show a woman respect sexually.  And, at the risk of making men paranoid in the other direction, being able to help a woman ejaculate is super  manly!

If your woman already ejaculates on her own, ask her to show you how she does it so you can see what  she does and how  she does it.  Don’t help!!!  (Unless she asks you to.)  Just be there to lap up the delicious juices.

trish

FURTHER READING:

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Anatomy: #TeamUncut Intact Natural Penis Collage for #ForeskinFriday (21+ NSFW)


Oral - Woman Kissing Uncut Penis HeadAbout a month ago, I put out the call for submissions for uncircumcised men to send in photos of their uncut penis.  Sure, I got lots of teasing on Twitter, but I was diligent in my self-prescribed duty to look through lots of penis photos to create the collages below.

The purpose of the collage is to normalize the uncut penis in an effort to end routine circumcision. Men who were circumcised as infants face a number of medical issues from pain in the penis to sexual dysfunction and loss of sensation, not to mention the women who often endure painful friction sex with cut men.  These uncut men also suffer social ridicule for looking “different,” or “nasty” or “not normal,” when in fact, the intact penis IS what is normal — the circumcised penis is what is NOT normal.

Circumcision is a barbaric, unnecessary procedure of sexual assault on a child and a gross violation of that child’s basic human right to be left whole, particularly in America where routine circumcision is so prevalent.  What’s worse is that adult circumcision has been touted as preventing transmission of AIDS and/or HIV, and that is not true.  Circumcision is blatant sexual assault carrying a Bible and wrapped in a flag — to paraphrase Sinclair Lewis’ definition of fascism.

For the collage, the men who submitted pics took photos with their phone or laptop camera.  (Maybe in the future, we can do a pro photo shoot — with me supervising! YUM.)  There is even  a photo of a restored foreskin!  Can you tell which one?  (Hint: the pic is in Photo #1.)

Below, you can see the wonderful variations in the penises’ shapes in the shaft, head, curvature, and coloration.  You will also notice how the skin covers the glans/head differently on different men and in various states of arousal.  I particularly love how the foreskin covers and even extends beyond the tip like it’s the wrapping on a present — a present for me to open… Just sayin’.

In photo #3 of the erect penises, you can see how the foreskin slides back, creating the ridged band on the anterior of the penis and the frenular delta (triangle of attached skin) on the underside of the penis head.

To join the anti-circumcision discussion leave a comment below.  Also, if you’re on Twitter, use the hastags, #i2, #nocirc, and #circumchat, and use #4skin for talking about foreskin restoration.

All photo collages are Copyright 2012 by ArousedWoman.com which is owned by Trish Causey.  If you post these photos on your own blog or social media page, do not remove the copyright notice (which I have embedded on every penis) and please provide a link in the Reply box below so I can see.  :-)

And YES, I hope to do more collages, not only on the penis, but the testicles, and to celebrate the differences in women’s vulvas, clits, and breasts.  As my mantra goes, “The human body is beautiful. Sex is beautiful. Orgasm is natural. Reject any dogma that shames what is beautiful and natural.”

To the guys who submitted photos – THANK YOU!!!

ENJOY!

trish

Related:

Click on an image to enlarge.


Anatomy: Male Prostate ~ the Male G-Spot


Male Prostate ~ from Wikipedia commons

Male Prostate ~ from Wikipedia commons

The male prostate is a gland about the size of a walnut located in the male anus.

The prostate creates prostatic fluid that mixes with sperm from the testicles to form ejaculate.  Once aroused, the male prostate has a texture like that of a walnut, similar to how the female prostate takes on a ridged feeling when aroused.  Moving your finger back and forth (i.e., wagging your finger, or like a windshield wiper), you should feel the two lobes of the prostate — the gland is bisected by the urethra running through the middle of the prostate, just as the urethra runs through the middle of the prostate in women.

The prostate can be accessed indirectly, from the outside at the “sweet spot” on the perineum, or directly, inside by using a finger or sex toy in the anus.  Experimenting with your prostate does not make a man gay.  In fact, anal play, prostate massage, and prostate milking can be a very delicious part of a heterosexual couple’s lovemaking, especially in the form of slow sex and sacred sex.

In Tantra, the male prostate is considered the male “Sacred Spot,” just as the “G-spot,” aka the Goddess Spot or Sacred Spot in women is located in the female prostate in the vagina.

Also in Tantra, the male prostate is considered to be the emotional center for a man in regard to his genitals.  More than a few men, who have allowed a partner to do prostate milking on them, claim the prostate orgasm is the strongest, most intense, most emotionally moving orgasm they have ever experienced.

Many men who do prostate massage on a regular basis cannot fathom going back to their old orgasms.  Common testimonials for these men also include the prostate orgasm is a “soulgasm,” and opens their hearts to their partners in ways they could never imagine before.

As with any anal play, safety precautions should always be followed to prevent the transference of fecal bacteria from the anal area to other body areas.

Condoms should be used on any sex toy that is inserted, and fitted latex gloves or finger cots can be used on the fingers to avoid having to wash your hands before fingering yourself elsewhere or fingering/touching your partner, as well as to avoid getting bacteria in a cut on the fingers.

Use lots of lubricant and massage the external anal sphincter completely to warm up and stretch the skin before trying to enter the anus.  Silicone lube seems to work best and last the longest, but it is notoriously difficult to clean up afterward.  Also, silicone lube will degrade the latex of condoms, so use only water-based lubricant or natural, unscented massage oil if using latex condoms.

The prostate can be a delicate gland.  Direct stimulation should be slow and gentle at first to see what kind of pressure you like.  If there is any pain, STOP.  If there is any blood in your ejaculate or urine, see your healthcare professional.

PLEASE LEAVE A REPLY with your questions or detailing YOUR experiences (men and women).

trish

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AskTrish: Stop Ejaculating and Have Multiple Orgasms Already


Chakra-aura-orgasm-energy-systemA little something different from the usual AskTrish post

While posting pics on my ArousedWoman Tumblr page, I came across a post on another Tumblr page in which a querent (I’m assuming male) asked:  “when i masturbate and i hit orgasm once i cant have another one why not ? am i doing something wrong ?”  The moderator responded: “no, not everyone is capable of multiple orgasms, that’s just the way it is…”

That is absolutely NOT TRUE — not even for men!

Ejaculating is a reflex, but it is a controllable reflex of the sympathetic nervous system.  Semen is ejected due to contractions by the bulbospongiosus muscle.  On a subtle body/spirit level, ejaculate is comprised of life force energy, and it takes an inordinate about of physical energy to produce and expel ejaculate from the body — hence the reason a guy is usually exhausted and needs a nap afterward.  Ejac expends energy, causing fatigue for the man.

In women, stimulating the clit, which is synonymous to the penis, gives a localized burst of tension release at the clitoris, but any kind of vaginal orgasm (prostate/She Spot, cervical/uterine, AFE, PFE, even perineal sponge) creates full-body waves of bliss that flow and flow and flow, like waves that repeatedly crash against a shore.  The clitoris is wired to the spinal cord via the pudendal nerve, but the vagina’s main nerve is the vagus nerve which bypasses the spinal cord and plugs directly into the brain.

Knowing how the body works physiologically helps in integrating the subtle energy body with the physical body, which leads to orgasms that literally blow your mind and everything you thought you knew about your body or orgasm.  Conjuring orgasm via an energy-based practice with the help of a little anatomy know-how creates orgasm experiences that feel like Big Bang explosions in your core and your head — not localized to just the genitals.

Orgasm is a response of the parasympathetic  nervous system.  Orgasm increases energy.  Many people use climaxing for muscle tension release before bed so they can get sleepy.  However, orgasm in an energy practice gives and expands energy.  From the Greek word, orgasmos, orgasm literally means “to swell.”  Orgasm is NOT the end of a sexual experience but one amazing part of the journey.  The end isn’t even “climax” but bliss, altered states of consciousness (no drugs needed!), awareness, and connection to self, your partner (if applicable), and the Universe.

ALL woman AND men are capable of multiple orgasms — FOR HOURS, days, weeks!  Live your whole life in an orgasmic state of energy bliss… Why not?!

People need to STOP the myths and lies about what is possible in orgasm.  ‘Cause I guaran-damn-tee MOST people have never experienced even an inkling of what orgasm can be.  They grew up jerking off to skin mags and probably learned most of what they know about sex from watching the fakery of porn and memorizing the stupidity of magazine sex quizzes while standing in line at the store.

They should stop giving advice and read my fucking blog already!

trish

* To AskTrish a question, submit your question here. *

* Read more AskTrish posts. *


Chapter 6 of “Confessions of an Aroused Woman” Now Available as .PDF!


Released on Kindle a few months ago, Chapter 6 of Confessions of an Aroused Woman is now available as a .PDF for only $3.00.  Based on personal experiences, Confessions of an Aroused Woman  is a fictionalized series of erotica vignettes that is women-positive, sex-positive, and all-around fun to read.

Reviews on Amazon.com:

Refreshingly, realistically, erotic   May 31, 2012  ~   By B. Lee

Trish Causey’s writing is as informative and exciting as her website. It is fascinating to read her first-person accounts of what an aroused woman feels and does. The scene in which she is showing her man her masturbation, describing in exquisite detail her actions and sensations and thoughts, while he honors her arousal and gradually contributes to it, is intense! The chapter is so descriptive, hot, and wet, that it’s almost an erotic case study, and men-loving women would do well to take notes, with a towel nearby.

An open door…May 31, 2012  ~   By Saloonsinger

I read with relish this chapter of Confessions of an Aroused Woman. Ms. Causey writes with power and emotion. She takes us with her on a journey into being her complete and sexual self, and in so doing opens the door for each of us to recognize the same power within us. I highly recommend her as someone to keep an eye out for in the book world.

One of my Twitter followers wrote on 09-03-12:

 

 

 

 

Purchase Chapter 6 for only $3.00… to tide you over until the entire book is ready for publication!  Be sure to type in your email address, so I can email the .PDF to you.

‘ CONFESSIONS OF AN AROUSED WOMAN’ – CHAPTER 6 ~ $3.00

When you click through to the PayPal side, be sure to type in your email address in the comment area, so I can email you the .PDF. You will receive it within 12 hours of PayPal notifying me of your purchase.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you!  And I really hope you enjoy it.  MUAH!!  xoxo

trish


REVIEW: Divine Women – When God Was a Girl, BBC Two Television Series


Bettany Hughes

A current series on BBC Two is shaking up the bubble of religious misogyny that the Catholic church and fundamental conservatives don’t want you to know about.

Bettany Hughes, anthropologist and author of The Hemlock Cup: Socrates, Athens and the Search for the Good Life and Helen of Troy: The Story Behind the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, has appeared in several programs for the BBC and PBS highlighting ancient history and women’s place in it: Helen of Troy, The Minotaur’s Island, and When the Moors Ruled in Europe.

Hughes’ latest foray into the world of highlighting women’s contributions to world history is the BBC Two series “Divine Women.”  She brings to light information about women’s involvement in religion, not only as supreme mother goddesses and priestesses to the masses, but goddesses and women as true forces to be reckoned with (think Kali), when women were revered for their ability to both create and defend themselves and their loved ones as they saw fit — essentially, these females were in complete control of their bodies and their own desires, a great reminder for women today!

Women’s independent nature has repeatedly been attacked for centuries in the form of witch trials and anti-suffrage movements.  The inherent fear and jealousy that many men have toward women was first cultivated by the patriarchal, imperial regimes of antiquity in the original #waronwomen that we are fighting to this day.

Hughes’ soft-spoken, well-educated British delivery lessens the blow of shockingly empowering information, that heretofore, only we Pagans and heathens seem to have known.  Elevating women to the status of not only equals in religion, government, and society, the evidence shows women were actually viewed as superior to men just as female goddesses overshadowed male gods.  This may come as a surprise to religions that forbid women to be priests or governments that refuse to allow women to fight on the front lines of battle — all because we have vaginas, the part of woman men love and fear simultaneously.

In reading a review by a clueless male UK writer, he thought the first episode was slow, meandering, and overall lame. When I confronted him on Twitter, I substantiated my arguments with facts (and passion), and he accused me of being a “bot.”  I guess that’s the social media version of when women are “emotional” or “high-strung,” we’re just experiencing the effects of being “hormonal” at “that time of the month.”  He again proved that the average man simply cannot tolerate an empowered, strong, kicking-butt-taking-names woman — similar to the insecure men who banded together to erase women from history and religion, relegating women’s only value in society to giving birth to healthy sons and cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking meals, raising the kids, and laying back for lackluster sex whenever the husband was horny.

Whether you believe in a duality of a higher spirit or not, the time has come to re-write the his-story books that erased women from its narrative. We regurgitate the names of male generals and the battles they waged and call it “history.” We revere the “Founding Fathers” with no regard for the women who were our “Founding Mothers.” This series, “Divine Women,” is a brilliant step in the right direction of getting accurate information about women’s true role in the history and the her-story of the world.

For now, UK audiences can watch it on BBC Two. When it hits the DVD section of Amazon, I am definitely buying it!

Agree or disagree?  Leave a comment!

trish


DailyOJ 11-29-11: Biggest Orgasm Ever & Female Prostate Awakening


Big-Bang-OrgasmNovember 29, 2011

I have a little more to report but it is similar to my previous journal entry on my expanding awareness and experiences with awakening my female prostate and the wonders it is slowly revealing to me.  But I don’t want to seem redundant — it’s not exactly the same ol’ song, but perhaps a variation on a theme.

With the Turkey holiday, I was not at home by myself during the days last week, so my KSMO practice dropped to nill. By Sunday, the schedule was almost normal (because school would be back in session for my daughter Monday).  So Sunday night, I decided to enjoy some solo sex as it was my day off from KSMO, and I was off my moon (Auntie Flo had left the building!).  My female prostate was buzzing back to life, and I was just plain horny.

I don’t know what happened, but I enjoyed the upswing to orgasm and the after orgasm, but somehow missed the explosion of the orgasm itself.  It reminded me of my old She-Spot orgasms (She-Spot stimulation only) where the build up can blend into the after-orgasm without that “cresting of the wave” or as I term it, the “explosion” of the orgasm.

The explosion orgasms, for me, are clitoral.  Long ago, I put 2 and 2 together and got explosive, full-body orgasms by doing clit and She-Spot stim simultaneously.

But this on Sunday, almost felt like a let-down.  Although it was deliciously pleasurable, without that “cresting” at the top of the wave/orgasm, all I got was the denouement.  But I kept stimulating, wanting to come “again” — and this time feel it.  But I stayed in the after-O state for a good 20 minutes before I just gave up.  Now, please know, this all felt really good.  In the after-orgasm phase, I’m still highly aroused, making sounds, rapid breathing, legs shaking constantly, everything pulsating and contracting.  I just really love that explosive part of orgasm.

Then Monday, I really felt my female prostate all day.  When I went to the bathroom, my FP (female prostate) was pleasurably noticeable.  Around 2:00 p.m., I figured I’d skip the 20-minute KSMO practice and just take care of my FP which seemed to really want some attention.  So I did.

As in the previous post, stimulating my prostate (just the finger pumping of the FP, no clit stim) for 10 seconds at a time was more than I could handle.  I had to stop 3 times.  Again, I thought I’d just use my penis-shaped vibe (minus the vibration) to achieve orgasm, assuming it would be less intense than the FP/finger pumping.  AGAIN, I was wrong.  I couldn’t handle that either.

I would start the finger pumping — instantly , my hips shot up off the bed, I was whining/moaning, and I didn’t last more than 10 seconds — literally.  I stopped, my hips dropped to the bed, and I was panting, out of breath as if I’d just run up 10 flights of stairs.  I’ve never felt anything like this.  Ever.

So I gathered my courage and attempted it again — with the same results: hips reaching to the ceiling, me whining/moaning, unable to stand the intense pleasure erupting from my prostate.  I stopped, dropped to the bed, and panted.

Determined to conquer whatever this was, I went for it a third time with the same results — again — after only 10 seconds — again.

I brought my fingers out of my vagina.  Panting.  I was not sure what to do next, but I suddenly started crying.  I was feeling all the great pre- and post-O arousal I normally feel but at the same time.

Finally, I decided to just go for it.  I didn’t care about the neighbors or if anyone could hear me.  I made sounds I’ve truly never made before, felt things I’ve never felt before, and I wanted it to go on forever.  I wouldn’t have minded if I didn’t have the explosion part of orgasm because, frankly, I didn’t know if I’d survive it.  But if I’m gonna go, I figured this would be a great way to die. :-)

When the explosion happened, I almost sprang off the bed.  I burst into a million stars and floated up.  I was there with the Universe.  I was the Universe.  It was absolutely indescribable, the feelings of being connected to everything at once, infinite joy, love, peace — just as I’d felt in my dream / astral experiences.

My physical body burst into gut-wrenching tears, and I cried uncontrollably, heaving sobs my body is not used to emitting.  My body was doubled over, then jerking back into tension-filled arches, then doubling over again, over and over, convulsing from the emotion of what I had just experienced — all while I was still orgasming from the emotions springing from my core, my awakened prostate, and experiencing this uterine orgasm for the first time.

I don’t know how long the orgasm lasted — yes, I kept going with the vibrationless-vibe because for me, stopping the stimulation at or just after orgasm feels like having my soul plucked out from under me.  So I kept going through the post-orgasms — the quaking after-shocks of hundreds of smaller orgasms and contractions of the clit, She-Spot, cervix, uterus, anus, legs shaking, hands and feet buzzing with energy.  Except these weren’t smaller like they usually are — they were intense.  I finally stopped because it was so powerful  I actually thought I might really die from the pleasure — a full-body heart chakra attack… and I was blubbering like an idiot.

This experience seemed to last forever, but looking at the clock it was only 2:45.  How could I have experienced “forever” in less than 40 minutes?  And to be honest, I really needed a big hug.  Sometimes being alone truly is lonely.

*** Read Part 2 of this journal entry. ***

Aroused and awakening,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


REVIEW: Female Ejaculation: Unleash the Ultimate G-Spot Orgasm


A result of specific stimulation of the female prostate, female ejaculation is a sexual phenomenon that was praised in ancient texts of yore, yet remains a source of fascination and controversy in the 21st century.  Real life couple Somraj Pokras and Jeffre Talltrees, Ph.D., have written their definitive guide on how to coax the juiciest orgasms from your female partner.

Like most people, I read the reviews of products left by other customers, and in looking over the no-nonsense titled tome, Female Ejaculation: Unleash the Ultimate G-Spot Orgasm, a number of customers felt they’d been left high and dry.

Some readers complained the authors repeat themselves, talk too much about setting the scene rather than getting right to it, were “too emotional,” and basically, wax poetic about the whole deeper relationship aspect rather than just giving a few fingering techniques for the ultimate hand job.  I agree with all of this. And these are the very reasons that I love this book!

I also noticed that the reviewers leaving the negative, snarky, impatient comments were male.  Clearly, some men don’t want to invest any time in this pursuit — they just want the 5-second side-show spectacle.

One man wrote:
“Any moderately intelligent and moderately considerate guy already knows most of what is in here.”  (Yeah.  Right.)

Another (obviously young, immature male) reader (with little knowledge of grammar or how to use the spell-check feature) explained why he bought the book:

“… to teach me how to make something I can do every once in a while (all with different women) more frequently, but sadly it spend [sic] have [sic] the time talking about ‘energy, Chakra and Chi’ the other half is filled with stuff that ever [sic] man already knows how to do… if you’re looking for a read about how to give the chick you hooked up with at the bar the best sex of her life you will do better (and save a lot of time) looking up “G-Spot Stimulation” on the internet.”

(Well, well, well…. and you wonder why I started this blog?!)

If you’ll recall from my previous post, “How I Like My Sex… Bare…”, I am not a fan of too much fanfare.  So how can I love what the authors have to say about preparation in this book?  Because the focus is on the connection of the partners, not acting out assumed roles.  They also emphasize the preparation of the space where the session will take place.  A couple should have a space that is reserved just for them and their intimate time together.  (I would call this space the “bedroom,” but television and computers have invaded the once sacred sanctuary of the bedchamber.)

Pokras and Talltrees provide a recommended series of steps to follow to get ready for a female ejaculation session with your female partner, and I really love the idea of this protocol.  I find great value in having a specific ritual to follow as it allows time and space to transition mentally from everyday-stressed-out-me to relaxed-orgasmic-me.  This ritual aspect also reinforces the sacred aspect of being so intimate with another human being.

They offer scenarios for partners as well as solo exploration, each one beginning with a list of items to do and have at the ready.  Getting set up is actually pretty easy once you’re familiar with the steps and have collected the items (such as towels, lots of lubricant, etc.), and you can leave almost everything out and pre-set from one encounter to another.  (See?!  I didn’t contradict myself!)  Having all the goodies already set out means everything you need is within your space, and you won’t have to stop the prostate play to jump up and grab what you forgot.  (However, if all goes according to plan, you will have a load of laundry to do afterward!  Can we say, “Cleanup, Aisle 12!”)

Again, the focus of their protocol is the attention to detail on the woman, her body, her response to the stimulation, and the endearing connection formed by the intimacy, not the paraphernalia or “stuff” surrounding your sexual playground.  And I’m assuming the man will also find pleasure in watching his female partner become aroused to the point of creating an orgasmic gush of erotic juices.  I’ll also assume that a woman performing these techniques on another woman will revel in a distinct enjoyment of awareness, knowing what each and every maneuver feels like from personal experience.

As educators, Pokras and Talltrees are insistent on knowing the female anatomy, hygiene, and safe-sex practices.  All excellent points, in my opinion.

I had a brief time of experiencing ejaculation in the Fall, so I can attest to how cool (and satisfying!) it is.  Life and stress have affected my practice, hence the reason I got this book.  My orgasms are great, but I want ‘em wet!  With this information (and my new glass toy that reaches further in than my fingers can), I will report here when I’ve reached geyser status.

Until then, I hope you get Female Ejaculation: Unleash the Ultimate G-Spot Orgasm, and leave a comment below on how it’s helped you or your female partner in her journey to female ejaculation!

Aroused and juicy,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


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