NEWS: Air Force’s Head of Anti-Sexual Assault Unit Arrested for Sexual Battery
© 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
Last night, it was reported that the guy in charge of the Air Force’s anti-sexual assault unit, Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Krusinski, was arrested for the sexual battery of a woman, not far from the Pentagon.
According to the charges, he grabbed her breasts and butt in public. She resisted, and judging by his mugshot, she fought back. GOOD FOR HER! But he went after her again. She was able to call the Arlington County Police Department, who provided his arrest photo.
While the Air Force has removed him from his post with the anti-sexual assault unit, he was able to post his $5,000 bond, so he is out on the streets.
If you’ve seen the film The Invisible War, you know how rampant sexual abuse is within the U.S. military. How can change happen within the military when the leaders assigned to address the problems are themselves abusers?
trish
NEWS: Obama “Comfortable” With FDA Disregarding Judge’s Ruling on Plan B
© 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
Apparently, our centrist president doesn’t want to rock the boat with a minor victory for women and girls at stake.
I wrote about the April verdict by Judge Korman in which Plan B would be required to be available on store shelves without a prescription or an I.D. check within 30 days of the ruling. The FDA made their own announcement that it would be available to girls over the age of 15 with proof of age (an I.D. check), then the Justice Department decided to stick its misogynist nose into the fray just to complicate matters.
After a push by the Obama administration, the FDA relented slightly, saying emergency contraception, a.k.a. the morning after pill, would be available on the store shelves, without a prescription, but only for females aged 15 and over (still requiring that I.D. check). President Obama said he was “comfortable” with that.
Which, I guess, is all that matters — that a a man can be “comfortable” with a male-dominated government deciding when and how women and girls can have rights to their bodies.
He also used the phrase “scientific evidence” a couple of times when referring to why Plan B should be available to teenage girls without a doc’s script in an obvious play to knock out the religious objections to having the emergency birth control on the open shelves to be seen by god and everybody…. Why, hell’s, bells, Scarlet! Look up that Jesus quote about birth control being evil…. oh wait…. Jesus never mentioned birth control, did he? …. Hmmmmm….
Obama — I voted for you twice, so don’t allow this kind of bullshit to taint my opinion of your otherwise strong stance for women’s rights.
I’m sure there will be more to update on this story as the misogyny continues.
trish
NEWS: FDA’s Emergency Contraception Plan for Plan B Contradicts Court Ruling
© 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
05-01-2013
The wonderful victory for all females in the United States to have access to emergency contraception without a prescription has been foiled by the evil charlatans at the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and the Justice Department.
The Center for Reproductive Rights’ (CRR) had filed a lawsuit against the FDA to require emergency birth control pills be available without restriction, an effort to remove the obstacle and perhaps shame of getting a prescription from a doctor. On April 5, 2013, U.S. District Court Judge Edward Korman ruled that the FDA must make emergency contraception, a.k.a. the morning after pill, available over the counter without an age-limit restriction within 30 days of the ruling.
Instead of complying with this basic right all women should have — and do have thanks to this ruling, the FDA announced it would make Plan B and Next Choice-type emergency contraception available over the counter to females aged 15 and up, in direct violation of the court’s ruling. (The FDA says its decision was in no way affected by Korman’s ruling.) The FDA has thrown in a requirement for the female buying the emergency contraception to provide proof of age for the purchase. As the CRR and other activists have noted, this may prove problematic since some states do not allow teenagers to get a driver’s license until the age of 16, so 15 year old girls might have a difficult time proving their age.
Meanwhile, U.S. Attorney Loretta Lynch sent an appeal of Korman’s ruling to the Second Circuit Court of Appeals to suspend the ruling until further notice. The Obama administration subsequently announced it will appeal the Justice Department’s appeal, if need be. So for now, the FDA’s asinine proclamation of limiting Plan B et al will stand, complete with photo I.D. and age-requirement intact.
Time will tell if the original court ruling will win the day and allow all females to have access to emergency birth control without politics interfering with our individual right to body autonomy.
trish
For other NEWS Articles check out these posts on my other blog:
OpEd: “A Life Lived in Fear Is a Life Half-Lived”
© 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.
An open letter to all my friends who never knew about my secret life this past year.
04-16-2013
If you know me, you know I cover New York’s Broadway theatre for a living, doing write-ups for shows, reviewing shows and cast albums, and hosting my own radio show, Musical Theatre Talk, on which I chat with Tony Award winners, Bway designers, and composers — I’ve even covered the Tonys! I do all this from Mississippi…. Yes, Mississippi…. How?…. I’m damn good at what I do…. (And I occasionally fly to New York.)
But there are other things you may not know about me….
In 1994, I discovered a quirky independent Australian film entitled Strictly Ballroom. Almost 20 years later, Strictly Ballroom remains in my list of Top 10 Best Films of all time.
The basic tenet of the film is a quote, supposedly of Spanish Romani origin, that goes, “A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.” I have taken this quote and sentiment as the “theme” for 2013 as well as for my updated website, and my continued activism on my “secret” blog that I sort of kept from my “respectable friends” because it deals with subject matters too indelicate for polite company.
For the past year, since starting my “secret” blog, I have lived in fear of what others would think — that they would shun me, rumors would start, and I would be all alone in the big, scary world.
What the FUCK was I thinking?!
Of course, I’ll be shunned. Of course, people will talk. THIS has been the one constant in my life — being the black sheep of the family, having family and so-called friends disown me for being truthful to myself and living that truth in the open, standing up for what I believe in, speaking out for other people’s rights as well as my own. Why the hell would I be surprised for people to abandon me now?!
The fear began at age 9 when I was molested by a neighbor, a teenage girl down the street. She knew how to get me to keep silent — she threatened to tell my mother. My mother was an evil bitch, a Catholic zealot, dependent victim, and recreational martyr. I wasn’t sure what was being done to me, but somehow, my mother was bound to twist it to being my fault. That threat — that fear of being shunned by those who were supposed to love me — had lived with me for years, well into adulthood.
At 21, I was raped. (No, Republicans, it was not your definition of “legitimate rape.” It was just date-rape, just me being violated in my home by someone I knew well, which I know doesn’t really count to you as “rape-rape” even though 80% of reported rapes are committed by someone the victim knows, not the stereotypical boogey-man.) Again, I lived in fear of others finding out, of being shunned and ridiculed by those who were supposed to love me, so I didn’t tell anyone — not one person, not even the police.
Since I was 13, I’ve spoken out on many things in regards to human rights and civil rights — sometimes in regard to how it applied to me as a woman, a bisexual, a heathen pagan. Mostly, however, I’ve fought for human rights on the macrocosmic scale — I’ve fought for the principal of the basic right of <__insert human rights issue here__>.
This time last year, something happened within me, and I could no longer keep all of this inside. I created my “secret” website and blog that I absolutely love writing. Yet, I lived in fear that if my family found out, I would lose the last of my family who still talk to me… and worse yet, my activism for women’s rights, women’s body autonomy, women’s sexual health, and my own personal journey in healing from sexual abuse would be used against me by my soon-to-be ex-husband to take my child away from me…. I repeat… I’m in Mississippi… not New York….
A few days ago, while looking ahead to running for public office and knowing my “secret” blog would become public knowledge, I began to update my personal website. For some reason, the quote from Strictly Ballroom resounded in my head: “A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.”
As happy as I am in my life as a single mom, a writer, an activist, a dreamer, I still lived in fear — which meant my life was not really my own. My fear still controlled me.
I knew then that I will no longer live in fear of losing people from my life. People who shun me for being an open, honest, and unapologetic loudmouth activist are missing out on one hell of a person in their lives. Their shunning says more about them than me. In fact, today on Twitter, I saw this quote in someone’s bio: “If you judge me, you don’t define me. You define yourself.”
So, here goes…. I’m coming out of the blogger and activist closet to let everyone know about my site and blog, ArousedWoman.com. (Begin shunning now….)
“Arouse” means “to stir to action, to awaken.” To me, this perfectly summed up my activism and the awakening I was experiencing on so many levels. A year of secret blogging later, I am proud to say I have a small following of readers — okay, they’re a fabulous fan-base whom I love dearly.
Here’s some more shun-worthy information:
I have never orgasmed during sex… but then 70% of women have never orgasmed during penetrative sex. I thought the problem was me. Turns out, not all of it was my fault. Some of it was the guys’ fault (okay, a lot of it has been the fault of the men in my life). A lot of it was the fault of the sexual abuse I suffered as a child and as an adult, and much to my surprise, a great deal of my issues with sex have come from the sexual harassment I’ve suffered since I suddenly developed breasts one night when I was 10. Therefore, I have written about my abuse as a kid as well as my date rape experience. I’ve written about my lifelong hatred of my breasts, as well as my fear of intimacy. I even wrote about my own Steubenville-esque experience that I was still carrying shame over.
No longer.
I’m glad to say I am a multi-orgasmic woman — enjoying spontaneous O’s even! I have documented this journey in my DailyOJ posts. I am happier than I’ve ever been in that department… so much so that I now help others — men and women — with their sexual journey and sexual healing by answering their questions in my AskTrish posts and on Twitter. I love reading the comments by my readers on my blog and Twitter — they seem to like my OpEd pieces especially:
- OpEd: How I Like My Sex… Bare…
- OpEd: The Face of Orgasm: Is Your Woman Faking Orgasms or Not? (’cause really, most men are kinda clueless)
- OpEd: Fucking Cherokee Men (and Other People of Color)
I also review products including sex toys, books, lube, and music.
Still reading all this?…
AND I post erotic pictures on my AW Tumblr…. (no, not of me…. yet….)
AND I’m planning on hosting sexual wellness workshops….
AND I’m preparing an orgasm training workshop….
AND I’ve published a sample chapter of erotica on Amazon.com Kindle, that’s FREE for Prime members. (Tempted? Go ahead, you know you want to check it out…. I’ll wait right here for you to return…)
Oh…. you’re back? Great… Where was I…….
And is now a good time to mention I had to have a medical abortion in 1997?…. No?…. Oh…. Well, then, I guess I’ll save my tale of spending 20 minutes on the kitchen floor in such horrendously painful, incapacitating contortions I could not crawl across the floor to reach the phone to call 9-1-1… (twice)… for another time.
Still reading? Wow.
And I hate religion…. I am a very spiritual person, but religion is little more than man-made rules set by a core group of wealthy, powerful elitist men who suppress the masses into subjugation and adoration through machinations of fear and guilt — and who usually HATE WOMEN…. I don’t dislike the followers of religion necessarily — I like the UU’s, and I’ve never met a Methodist I didn’t like.
AND I am the Queen of Musical Theatre…. Seriously.
Now you know. My secrets are out. I no longer have any fear. My life is a life fully lived and living!
Judge me. You will be defining yourself, not me.
trish
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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OpEd: My “Steubenville” Experience – The Night I Don’t Remember
I awoke last Sunday, dreading checking my Twitter because I anticipated a plethora of “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” tweets, and I wasn’t in the mood to explain (again) the lies of the Patrick myth as invented by the Catholic Church. But check Twitter I did, and the tweets that caught my attention revolved around the upcoming verdict in the Steubenville rape case in Ohio.
The verdict was just about to be announced, and everyone in my TL pensively awaited guilty verdicts for the high school football Lotharios who raped a 16 year-old girl while she was drunk. When the media storm first hit the story months ago, I had seen some of the pictures taken that night. The one in which the guys were passing her around like she was a sack of potatoes was particularly heinous.
I think this story hit me hard not only because of the rape/date-rape aspect of my own rape, but I had a similar inebriated experience in 1996. I was at an outdoor event, and the temperature was in the high 90′s. A cheese sandwich was my only food the entire day. I was not drinking enough water. I was walking a lot, and I was dehydrated. When the party began that night, I had two lite beers — and remember nothing of the next 10 hours.
The next day, I heard stories of what I did at the party. The looks on people’s faces as I walked by were enough to tell me I did… something… a lot of something… but I had no recollection except for two brief flashes of sitting with a man I didn’t know. But the stories… what I was told… by many people, confirming each other’s stories… didn’t sound like me at all.
I understand exactly the panic, the fear, the emotional pain, the shame of what the Steubenville victim experienced. What she went through at the time, not knowing what was done to her, or by whom, is a frightening feeling. Not knowing if you used a condom, do you now have a disease, are you pregnant??? These thoughts flood the mind, and you live in fear until tests come back. Thankfully, for me, the tests’ results were all negative. Ironically, this was the moment I became pro-choice.
That night in March 1996, I had alcohol poisoning. The combined factors of little water, even less food, high heat, and overall exhaustion made my body unable to handle two lite beers. All the things I did, I did not cognitively consent to, and yet I participated in them. Eventually, so I was told, a man was put in charge of watching over me, so no “harm” would come to me. What was their definition of “harm?” I was in an alcohol blackout having “sex” with men I barely knew and some I didn’t know at all. They didn’t think that was harmful? Did they not know the signs of intoxication? Did they not care?!
As I was told, this man took me away from the immediate party and tried to get me to drink water. I awoke the next morning in my tent, with horrible dry mouth — like I was eating cotton, and I was physically weak. I didn’t even know I’d been “sexual” the previous night until… the stories… the looks… the shame of things I don’t remember… to this day.
The shame I was made to feel by those who witnessed (and did nothing) or heard about my “escapade,” is the shame I feared would haunt me if I reported my rape. The guilt of embarrassing my friends and the fear of all the “what if’s” of the consequences literally pained me. Even talking about my rape on Twitter led one jerk to say I was milking my rape for sympathy.
Last Sunday morning, March 17, 2013, the Steubenville verdict was announced. The judge places the blame on social media and drinking. Over the course of the week, media outlets cover the verdict, blaming the victim for ruining the promising futures of her rapists. Twitter explodes. And the gun nuts start in saying, if only the girl had been armed, she wouldn’t have been raped.
And so the Twitterverse keeps revolving…
With 2012 being the Year of Rape in the media and women rising to the fore to fight the GOP Right Wing misogyny invading our bodies, how could a 16 year-old girl be made to take the brunt of the judge and the media’s blame for her rape?
When I was outside working all day on that hot day in March 1996, I wasn’t thinking about having “drunk sex” that night. Did the men who were with me have any thought that maybe “sex” with a drunk girl isn’t a good thing? That just because a girl is being gregarious or “slutty,” the alcohol has affected her ability to make cognitive decisions, i.e., give consent for sexual activity?
The bigger issue here is that I don’t think most men understand what rape actually is. Rape is not only when a boogey-man jumps a lone, defenseless woman at the mall parking lot at 10 p.m. Most reported rapes are committed on women by men they know — husbands, boyfriends, family, friends, neighbors, co-workers. Only 20% of reported rapes are committed by the iconic stranger/boogey-man.
The other issue is what is consent. Some states have laws that stipulate sex with a person who meets the legal definition of being intoxicated is considered rape, since the person cannot adequately consent.
I never liked the taste of alcohol, but I drank some socially. I had never been drunk before or since. I’ve never talked about my experience before now. And I’m sure some people will say I “asked for it,” or they just won’t understand. Hell, I don’t understand it. But I understand Jane Doe, and she does not deserve the harassment she has received from the media or from her former friends.
Women and the men who love us need to keep up the pressure to have this national and international conversation — defining rape in all its forms and defining consent. Our daughters and our sons deserve that.
Jane Doe does not deserve the blame or the shame she has received on top of the egregious violation of her body and trust that she experienced. Were it not for the tenacity of one reporter, the Steubenville rape would have been swept under the carpet by the witnesses and the coaches who knew about it. Accessories after the fact… accessories who cared more for their school’s athletic reputation than the welfare of a teenage girl.
Never be silent.
trish
Links:
- Follow @AnArousedWoman on Twitter | ArousedWoman on Facebook
- Support ArousedWoman Radio and Forum!
- ArousedWoman Forum
- Trish’s DailyOJ posts
- AskTrish posts
- ArousedWoman Tumblr
NEWS: So, Walmart Doesn’t Think Black&Decker Tools Are for Women?
I found this today, 02-07-13, while searching for a drill to get for my home DIY projects and possibly theatre set construction.
I am a woman and a single mom. Notice for whom this particular drill by Black&Decker would be a “great gift.” Is it Walmart or Black&Decker who thinks a mom, wife, or girlfriend (or female carpenter) should not buy a drill… or perhaps tools, in general?
Is this yet another way women’s equality is systematically undermined by patriarchal (RWNJ) culture and male-dominated corporate America? Isn’t this the 21st century?
We already had to fight the “legitimate rape” bullshit from the GOP, the shocking laws being passed in Arizona and the proposed bills in New Mexico. So #WhereAreTheWomen here? Is this more of 2012′s #WarOnWomen? Hmmmmmm…
trish
Recommended Reading:
NEWS: New Mexico Takes #GOP’s Stupid Pills to Usurp Rape Victims’ Reproductive Rights
As if the NEWS in 2012 were not horrible enough in the GOP’s effort to completely thwart women’s bodily autonomy, New Mexico legislators are bringing the GOP’s misogynist KoolAid to the forefront in 2013.
State Rep. Cathrynn Brown (R) (<– of course!) introduced New Mexico House Bill 206 that would require law enforcement to charge a rape victim with a third-degree felony for “tampering with evidence,” if she terminated a pregnancy conceived through rape or incest.
According to the language in New Mexico House Bill 206:
“Tampering with evidence shall include procuring or facilitating an abortion, or compelling or coercing another to obtain an abortion, of a fetus that is the result of criminal sexual penetration or incest with the intent to destroy evidence of the crime.”
Brown offered this as justification:
“New Mexico needs to strengthen its laws to deter sex offenders. By adding this law in New Mexico, we can help to protect women across our state.
After a shit-storm of negative response by pro-choice activists and Democrat legislators, Brown explained the bill’s idiotic thinking:
“Its intent is solely to deter rape and cases of incest. The rapist — not the victim — would be charged with tampering of evidence. I am submitting a substitute draft to make the intent of the legislation abundantly clear.”
A petition has been started on Change.org to let these women-hating, rape-condoning legislators know women will not stand for such abuse of their bodies.
trish
Recommended Reading:
OpEd: Wounded Knee 1890 – U.S. Still Wages #WarOnWomen
December 29th is a day of mourning for all American Indian tribes and should be a day of disgrace for the United States.
On December 29, 1890, the 7th Cavalry sought revenge for Custer’s loss at the Little Big Horn by attacking Chief Big Foot’s band with rapid-fire Hotchkiss guns and mounted soldiers thirsty for blood. The Army assassinated unarmed Lakota men and set out on horseback to chase down the women and children trying to run away in below-freezing temperatures.
It was so cold in fact, the bodies of Big Foot and his Lakota tribe were left on the ground where they died and had to be dug out from the snow by the U.S. soldiers, who then threw them into mass graves.
The massacre of the Cheyenne at Sand Creek in 1864 was a brutal display of evil wearing self-righteous’ clothing. Newspapers of the day described how the U.S. soldiers paraded through town wearing their spoils of war, including scalps of male warriors and fetuses they’d carved out of pregnant Cheyenne women’s uteruses, worn around the soldiers’ necks with pride as if each “trophy” were a fashionable scarf.
Thirty years before, the Eastern and Southern tribes had been made to walk the Trial of Tears, leaving the lush, tree-covered rolling hills of their ancient stomping grounds to walk more than a thousand miles to the alien, barren land of what is now Oklahoma. This was preceded by decades of Indian wars over land that the indigenous tribes could not fathom as being “owned.” The tribes with whom the U.S. was now at war had been the real reason America won its independence from the British to begin with. And even before the American Revolution, the Puritans’ massacres of the Pequot resulted in the murders of mostly women, children, and elderly by setting fire to their village.
American history is littered with murders and atrocities that earned U.S. soldiers Medals of Honor.
I’ve been to the Knee. It is a haunting, sacred place. But then, all of this land is sacred — rich and beautiful. Which is why the American government would do anything to steal every square inch of it.
Considering the hatred our governmental leaders have shown women in 2012, am I really surprised that American soldiers chased pregnant and elderly women for 2 miles along a frozen river, shooting them all for sport? Or that pregnant Cheyenne women were butchered? Or women and children burned alive? No. Militant oppressors always target women because women give birth to the next generation. We give birth to their future enemies.
What surprises me is that in 2012, ignorant baffoons like Rush Limbaugh can call a woman a slut, and we’re outraged, but he calls a scholar a “squaw” and no one blinks. (Hint: “Squaw” is a horrible, degrading term for an indigenous woman’s genitals. How degrading? Call a black person the “N” word. It’s about like that.) Right now, Chief Theresa Spence is on a hunger strike in an effort to help the indigenous people of Canada, and yes, women and children make up a good number of those for whom she’s fighting — starving herself — to get a meeting with Canada’s Prime Minister.
The #WarOnWomen is not new. Patriarchal politics and religions have always hated women and our inherent strength. I’m white, but I’m a woman and a mother. To be targeted because of a woman’s gender always hits too close to home. The insanity and irrationality of racism is mind-boggling to me. But remembering the past can help us come together and end this misogynist tyranny once and for all.
Remember the Knee. We are all connected. Be the change.
trish
FURTHER READING:
LINKS:
NEWS: Abortion Rights When Mother’s Life Is at Stake – Savita Halappanavar Dies in Ireland
The story of 31 year-old dentist Savita Halappanavar dying in an Irish Catholic hospital is infuriating women and men around the world. She died from a miscarriage because the Catholic hospital officials refused to terminate the pregnancy… because Ireland is a “Catholic country.”
This is just one woman in one country who has lost her life because of medical, governmental, and religious systems that deny a woman’s basic human right to choose what happens to her body — even when her life is at stake and the doctors acknowledged the fetus would not survive anyway.
What happened to Savita’s rights to body integrity? What happened to the doctors’ oaths to care for their patient?
And when will Ireland realize that the death-grip the Catholic Church has on it has done much more harm than it ever did any good?
Comments? Want to share your irate disbelief? Share you opinion and what we can do to stop the deaths of women in this misogynist world. For in depth discussion with other like-minded folks, get a profile onthe AW Forum and comment here.
Wake up people, and let’s END THE MISOGYNY!
trish
OpEd: GOP Labels All Us Uppity Liberals & Freethinkers for Our Binders
‘Nuff said…
To support AW Radio & Forum, visit Trish’s GoFundMe page.
NEWS: Romney & GOP Prefer Their Bitches in ‘Binders Full Of Women’
Just when you think the GOP vagina hate-fest can’t get any more absurd or obscene, Mitt Romney went all out during the second presidential debate last night. Though he was trying to impress America with his affirmative action stance of hiring women just because they have birth canals, his wording again reveals the depths of his disdain not only for women, but Americans in general.
His comment about keeping “binders full of women” made me wonder… If Romney keeps vaginas in binders, does he also have Binders full of Gays, or Binders Full of Liberals, or Binders full of Atheists?
All I see is that the GOP, Right Wing Nut Job Republican faction can crawl into my Binder Full of Assholes.
From a mandatory ultrasound prior to an abortion to saying pregnancy starts 2 weeks prior to conception, the Republicans are systemically legislating our bodies via their religion, their politics, and complete lack of understanding of the female body and basic biology. They are insinuating their dogma into our vaginas and uteruses, stripping away our self-autonomy rights as individual human beings one misogynist law at a time.
Any woman who actually votes FOR these assholes clearly hates herself, her daughters, and all women.
Below are a few highlights from the 2012 election year — the year that brought us the War on Women, #WhereAreTheWomen, and #VAGINA as a trending word on Twitter:
- NEWS: Rep. Todd Akin Defines ‘Legitimate Rape’ for All of Us Pretend Rape Victims
- NEWS: Michigan Lawmaker Reprimanded for Saying “Vagina”
- NEWS: Republicans Still Waging War on Women – ‘Paycheck Fairness Act’ Dies
- NEWS: What If Men’s Reproductive Rights Got Snipped?
- NEWS: List of 31 Senators Who Voted Against the Violence Against Women Act (& the Coward Who Didn’t Vote at All)
- NEWS: The War on Women
- NEWS: No Women on House of Representatives’ Birth Control Panel
- NEWS: Susan G. Komen Finally Shows Its True Colors – And It’s NOT Pink!
trish
For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman
NEWS: Raising $$$ for ArousedWoman Radio & Forum!
This is a quick note to let everyone know that I am taking the bull by the horns and starting up the Radio show and Forum that I’ve been wanting to create for a while now.
So many people ask me if I do podcasts, and I have to tell them, yes, but not yet for AW. Well, that’s changing!
While we dream of Utopia, running a radio show and hosting a forum is not free. It costs money for the licensed platforms even when the daily toil of maintaining each is based on sweat equity.
AW Radio will cover all aspects of the AW raison d’etre including Women’s Sexuality, Women’s Rights, LGBT, Survivors of Abuse, Religious Freedom, Indigenous Rights, Environmental Issues, Healthcare, Anti-Circumcision/Body Autonomy issues, and more.
The AW Forum will provide a safe place for like-minded individuals and orgs to talk about issues, recovery, and more importantly, foster solutions to put into practice. The Forum will be membership-based (to keep out the crazies) at $14.95/year, with a portion of the proceeds being donated annually to 2 organizations as voted on by the Forum community.
For more info on the Radio show as well as the Forum, visit my GoFundMe page I’ve started. Donations are securely processed by either WePay or PayPal (your choice!).
Be sure to check out the REWARD that accompanies each donation level, and make a TAX-DEDUCTIBLE donation if you can.
Thank you!
trish
MyTweets & Comments 08-19-12: “You Want to Milk Your Rape for Sympathy”
While having a thought-provoking chat with a friend on Twitter, I got a bit of a shock out of nowhere. I’m not shocked easily. I wish I could say I’m not hurt easily, but even after all the crap I’ve been through in my life, my annoying humanity is still intact.
With the ridiculous comment from Rep. Todd Akin about “legitimate rape,” all of Twitter was a-buzz with chatter on the subject of rape. Interestingly, the topic which had started out being on abortion had shifted dramatically to rape, and not surprisingly, society once again placing the blame and the shame of rape on the women — the rape victim.
Out of nowhere, this jerk, “Dan,” buts into the civil convo I was having with my friend @sevenlayercake — though we differ in viewpoints, she and I can have amiable conversations. Whenever a Twitter interloper butts in, I check their bio. This guy was supposedly an “outspoken gay professional.” As a loudmouth Scotch-Irisher and theatre pro, I can certainly handle this guy.
I posted the link to my recent article on my rape — something I have never, ever, ever, EVER told the details of to anyone alive or dead on this earth until I wrote this article on it a few days ago. Why? For the very reason, I didn’t think anyone would believe me. And this jackwad says, “You want to milk your rape for sympathy.”
If this guy is “gay,” then he is the most fervently women-hatin’ gay man I’ve ever met. Gay men usually dig women, just not sexually. Being in the theatre, it’s not unusual for a gay man to ask me how I do my lipstick or to borrow my blouse.
So, below, is the conversation and yet another example of how the War on Women exists — and is apparently spreading to the gay men demographic, which I find to be very sad. 
In my head, I hear the lyrics to Gloria Gaynor’s anthem:
First, I was afraid, I was petrified…
I will survive
As long as I know how to love,
I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live,
I’ve got all my love to give
And I’ll survive,
I will survive.
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
I spent, oh, so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry but now I hold my head up high.
I will survive.
trish
(Click image to enlarge.)
NEWS: Rep. Todd Akin Defines ‘Legitimate Rape’ for All of Us Pretend Rape Victims
Just when you think the Grand Ol’ Party can’t sink any lower in its blatant misogyny of women, women’s rights, and their outlook on women’s bodies, Rep. Todd Akin reveals a whole new abyss of as yet unexplored hatred of the female sex.
It wasn’t long ago that men were the only ones on the House panel on birth control, that 31 Senators voted against the Violence Against Women Act, and the GOP in Michigan censored a female state representative, violating her First Amendment right to free speech. Now, the GOP creeps us out further.
In a TV interview, Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.) had this to say about his views on abortion, even if conception is due to rape:
“From what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist.”
Wow.
So Akin is now a medical expert as well as a judge-and-jury on “Legitimate Rape?” So all of us who have been raped now need to measure our own horrible experience with sexual abuse by his and the GOP’s standard? A standard which has no medical basis? Because, according to Akin, every woman who has ever said she got pregnant from being raped was lying?!
The GOP RWNJ Republicans rape women on a daily basis! Oh, wait that’s “Legislative Rape” as they are systematically removing laws and undoing decades of work women have literally fought and died for in the battle for equality. And that kind of rape of women, our rights, and our bodies is just hunky-dorey.
This is a blatant sign of the ensuing institutionalized brainwashing against women that we can expect if the GOP continues to buy its power via elections in the United States.
What’s worse than our rape experiences being de-valued by the patriarchal, misogynist GOP is that this makes men look bad as well. The men who love women and support women’s rights will be lumped into either the GOP misogynist corner or the corner of “all men” who are abusers.
By the way, Akin’s thoughts on the morning-after pill are pretty clear as well:
“[T]he morning-after pill is a form of abortion, and I think we just shouldn’t have abortion in this country.”
Maybe we should not have misogyny in this country?! The elections this year are paramount to blocking the GOP’s persistent #WarOnWomen!
Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment below!
trish
MyTweets & Comments 08-17-12: Body Image, Stretch Marks, & Self-Hate
Continuing on with my desire for a Bohemian, hippy, free love lifestyle, doing Tantric yoga with an earthly male god, chanting mantras, and generally taming this Kundalini energy that has become so… unwound…
Diane, a gynecologist, commented on my lament of my current weight, and she gently beeyotch-slapped me back to reality and away from the evil that is media enculturation. I’ve already written about my personal history due to my breasts’ size, my rape, and America’s obsession with breasts along with the hypersexualization of women’s bodies.
This self-hate is not normal. Hating other women is not normal. I think this competition we feel and act out is due in large part to the male machine of media, culture, and religion, all of which vilify the female form in one way or another.
Thanks, Diane, for the reality check!
May the Vagina be with you all!!!
trish
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MyTweets & Comments 08-16-12: Hippy, Free Love & Stretch Marks
After a morning spent enlightening the GOP teabaggers on how ridiculous they are (nicely, of course), I once again had the yearning to run away from all this election craziness — this time coupled with an insane desire to join a nudist colony… just to be free of all the status symbols society deems important or even crucial to life.
I commiserated that I haven’t lost enough weight to be naked in front of others in public and was promptly reminded that we women cannot self-sabotage ourselves by heeding the KoolAid of media and culture’s negativity.
So onward I go, through this catharsis that has me by my she-balls.
trish
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MyTweets & Comments 08-15-12: Capitalism, Middle Class, & Obama Communism
Every now and then I do post my political opinions — sometimes, my vagina and my clit need a break from all the hippy, free-(self)-love I give them. So I made an innocent little comment about capitalism, the middle class, and the GOP. Out of nowhere, some GOP teabagger makes a rude (and stupid) comment, to which I responded… several times.
So far, no response. And once again, you will see why I really just want to get this 2012 Election process over with. My body needs a break from the negative energy this campaign is producing… Talk about “pollution”!
trish
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MyTweet & Comments 08-15-12: Freethinking Utopia & the 2012 Election
As the negativity on Twitter has compelled me to lay low on the social networking site, I did pop in to update my tweeps on AW’s growing stats and readership (<– shameless plug!). And of course, I like to chat with my like-minded free-thinkers.
Without waxing too poetic, I’m finding the negativity of politics too much to tolerate. I don’t watch “the news” and I don’t even have a TV (gave it away). But 2012 is an important year in women’s rights as well as for the country as a whole. As much as I want to live in my hippy free-love Utopia, I know that is not a real possibility… for now… For now, we must be vigilant and ensure the GOP doesn’t win the White House. VOTE, PEOPLE!
Anyhoo, had this chat with a friend, and it brought a smile to my face. So Twitter isn’t evil all the time. 
trish
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Comment 08-11-12: ‘Aroused Woman’ & Women in Saudi Arabia
So there I was minding my own business gabbing away on Twitter, just posting the countries showing on my stats’ page. I like to tweet where my readers are from because it does my heart proud to know that not just horny Americans are ogling my wares. 
Today included readers from India, Taiwan, and Saudi Arabia. Taiwan is a new reader for ArousedWoman, but Saudi Arabia has been a frequent reader to the blog. With all the tension over whether or not Saudi women would be allowed to participate in the Summer Olympics, I’m thrilled to have Saudi Arabian readers!
One of my tweeps then tweeted me and made the following comments about women in Saudi Arabia reading my blog. Of course, I don’t know if it’s actually Saudi women reading — how awesome would it be for loving Saudi men to be reading all this, also?!
Days like this are great reminders of why I do this blog.
trish
MyTweets & Comments 08-10-12: My Stance as a Humanist Not a Feminist
Feminism is a hotly-debated topic in America and other narrow-minded, backwards, patriarchal areas of the world. As a woman who is a humanist, I often have to deal with the backlash from other women who think I’m a traitor to “the cause.”
I will write a longer piece detailing my why’s and wherefore’s of being a humanist rather than a feminist, but today on Twitter, I gave a brief “nutshell version” of my reasoning. The responses in return ranged from thought-provoking to hilarious.
Below are a few of the comments that made me think and made me smile.
trish
MyTweets & Comments 08-09-12: Too Ashamed to Report Rape
Rape is prevalent. Yet, there is no sane reason why it should be except that rape is a tool for instilling fear and ensuring dominance. Rape is anger, aggression, frustration, emotional impotence, a power trip, a threat. Rape is not about sex or being sexual — which is why rape happens not just with a man’s penis, but also with the barrel of a gun, the neck of a beer bottle, the handle of a broom, or other implement of terror.
In talking with survivors who have been raped, the quote that comes to mind is Nietzsche’s, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” But why do so many women have to be brought near “death” to gain so-called strength? And why is associating sex and violence so ubiquitous in our culture? (Oh, yeah, religion.)
Worse, it makes me wonder what men’s definition of rape is. With marital rape, do men understand that they are raping their wives — not having sex? That legal marriage does not equal the right to rape? Does the drunk friend realize the alcohol was not an excuse for rape? And what about sanctimonious, judgmental women who are as much a part of the rape culture as the rapists and callous men who make rape jokes?
In sharing my rape experience and subsequent shame of reporting it, I received several messages from other women who told me of similar situations. I’ve removed their pictures and blacked out their names. These are just a few of the comments I received, but it points to a pervasive problem that still lurks on the fringes of open discussion.
trish
OpEd: My Rape, Rape Culture, & Why Women Need to Talk About Rape
As a stage artist, I trained my voice for years. I studied the sounds we make and how we make them. As a writer, and especially as a lyricist, I have toiled over the perfect words to scribe for dialogue or a song because the sound of the word itself has as much of an effect on the listener as the meaning of the word.
Just talking about rape brings strong emotions from women (and men!) who have experienced rape as a teen or an adult, or rape as a child, more commonly known by its euphemistic pseudonym, molestation.
Years ago, I realized that “rape” is a harsh word just as the act of rape is harsh. The growling of the “R”, the blunt hit of the unaspirated, hard “P” mimics the sharp, precise consonants’ onomatopoeia effect of “BruTal” and “aTTacK.” Conversely, the word “molestation” rolls of the tongue, rendering the word practically useless in conveying the horror of being raped as a child and softening the disdain society might otherwise feel. Example, decide for yourself which sounds worse: “A priest molested a boy” … or … “A priest raped a boy.”
I’ve rarely talked about my “molestation” as a kid, and I’ve almost never talked about the night I was raped. Only recently did I even tell people that I was still a virgin at age 21 — it was here on this blog, actually. For some reason, our hypersexualized culture has made it shameful to hold off on sex until a person is really ready. It’s as if teens must be sexual or they’re not normal. I was normal in many ways, but still dealing with my “molestation,” I had lots of issues I had to work out on my own when I was a teenager.
Also, my rape was not “real” rape. My rape would be sub-classified as “date-rape.”
We were in my bedroom — so clearly, I was “asking for it.” I was wearing a button down shirt and jeans. In 1994, it was fashionable to wear jeans that had rips in them. Mine did, right along the ass-line of the left leg. If a woman can show some butt cheek when she wears a swimsuit or shorts, I didn’t see the harm in a little peek-a-boo of my upper thigh at the butt line. And I was in my own home.
We were talking on the bed — but neither he nor I even mentioned having sex together. The next thing I knew I was being flipped over, my shirt ripped open, and he was inside me. I couldn’t think. The shock of pain like a thousand daggers stabbing me in my core and up my spine was something I’d never felt before. I couldn’t breathe. My brain started going into survival mode, and I felt like I was about to black out. I felt as if I were falling backward into an abyss. I couldn’t feel the bed or even him in that moment, just falling and shockingly intense pain throughout my body.
I realized I was still wearing my jeans. The button was still done, the zipper was zipped. He had entered me through the rip in my jeans. Dry mouthed, I asked him to slow down so I could adjust. All the while, I’m thinking, “How did he do that? Just breathe… How did he get inside of me with my jeans still on?” He said my tightness just made him harder, so he went faster. He said he couldn’t help himself… He pulled out, pulled me on the floor to my knees and told me to suck him off — he’d been wanting me to give him a blow job “for forever,” he said. Then he grabbed my hair and rammed my head down on his erection. I was still in shock, so my mouth must have felt like sandpaper. I was in a daze, on my knees, trying not to throw up, wearing all my clothes, trying to process what was happening. Just as quickly, it was over, and he was leaving. He was a friend. Dazed, but still true to my Southern upbringing of being polite, I walked him to his apartment a few buildings over. I walked home, but noticed I couldn’t feel the ground beneath me; my legs felt like jelly.
I stood in the center of my room, looking at the bed. I felt this whoosh of fluid. I was bleeding. I bled for 4 days. I thought about going to the police, but most of the people I knew also knew him. And if it went to trial, my “character witnesses” would all say they thought I’d been whoring for years — everyone assumed I was “loose” because I had large breasts. I feared being laughed at by the male policemen, ridiculed in court, verbally attacked by the opposing lawyer — I’ve watched enough TV to know how rape accusers are treated in court.
Yet, the hardest part — the part that actually made me not report my rape — was having to say in public that I was technically still a virgin at the old age of 21. Who would believe that? So I didn’t go to the police. Or the hospital. I just prayed I had not contracted some disease. After all, it seemed getting raped was inevitable in our society, so why should I complain? It’s not like is was a “bad rape” like being mauled in an alley by a scary boogeyman.
So then, maybe I wasn’t really raped. Maybe it was “just sex” after all…. Maybe sex with all my clothes on and without my permission is just “date-sex-I-didn’t-want-to-have-especially-since-I-was-a-virgin-but-it’s-not-really-rape.” Maybe Comedy Central comedian Daniel Tosh has a funny rape-joke commentary to make on my behalf?
People still think rape only occurs when the scary boogeyman assaults a woman in the mall parking lot at 10 p.m. Most women are raped by men (or women!) they know, particularly their spouses, family members, or neighbors. Rape is not the bullshit storyline you’ll see on Lifetime Television for Victims, just like you won’t find the secrets of orgasms in a Cosmo poll.
Because of my experience, I don’t do “blow jobs” — I do oral sex on my terms. I tell a man ahead of time not to grab my hair or he’s getting a fist in his balls. I also don’t get on my knees for any man or any god. More importantly, I don’t blame all men or hate the penis for what was done to me by one man.
As the mother of a daughter, the one thing that guided me in practically every decision I have made in her care and upbringing was that I wanted her to get to the age of 18 without being molested or raped. Now that she’s 14, I’m working on making sure she has a foundation of what is right for her and that she never has to succumb to an abuser. The age of 18 is now innocuous as I no longer hold the pessimistic world view that being raped is an inevitable fact of life for women.
Rape is not inevitable. Rape is preventable. To me, “rape culture” is a society that knows rape and sexual abuse are wrong but looks the other way while mocking the survivors who are willing to speak up and shaming the survivors too scared to speak out.
When our culture stops heeding the media’s marketing and drinking the misogynist KoolAid that de-values our experiences as rape survivors, only then can we adequately prevent rape from happening. Women, men, and children are experience rape on a daily basis. Rape culture exists in religion as well as government and society. Rape is a tool of war. It’s time we put an end to the rape culture that propagates sexual abuse while it terrorizes and punishes the survivors.
Rape is not inevitable. Rape is preventable. End #RapeCulture.
trish
MyTweets 08-09-12: Lost Followers Due to Talking about Rape Culture
Today, Twitter allowed me the opportunity to talk about my own experience of being raped and why I didn’t report it to the police. Because of shame, I never told anyone for years, much less explained the details. It was oddly freeing to talk about it, even from the computer… or maybe because I was talking from the computer.
At my age, I can talk about anything in front of an audience, and yes, I could talk about my rape. But I know many women who still cannot talk about their rape experience. So if I inadvertently piss off some followers by talking openly and honestly about rape, then so be it.
The great thing about Twitter is how people can find each other and talk about situations that most effect us — even very personal, life-changing experiences like childbirth, divorce, and abuse.
I posted this tweet after seeing a hashtag for #RapeCulture, and began talking about my experience being raped and why I stayed silent.
trish
OpEd: FUCKING CHEROKEE MEN (AND OTHER PEOPLE OF COLOR)
OpEd: THE FACE OF ORGASM: IS YOUR WOMAN FAKING ORGASMS OR NOT?
DailyOJ: ALLOWING AND RECEIVING
Comments 08-19-12: Support from Friends after ‘Milk Your Rape’ Tweet Attack
Anyhoo…
This Twitter drama was more than I ever wanted or needed in terms of having to defend myself from being blamed for my rape and/or being made the villain because I didn’t report it. When the verbal assault happened over Twitter, I felt like I’d been blunt-kicked in the heart. I felt that creepy, dizzy feeling radiating outward from my ribcage, and I started shaking. I just breathed through it and decided to get angry instead of allowing any PTSD take over. The anger allowed me to channel my feelings into writing, which is proactive and productive. See! Being Irish comes in handy!
I want to genuinely thank all of you who sent me words of love and support, and I appreciate the sentiment of those who offered to help do that Twitter jerk bodily harm. Unfortunately, the Law of Karma prevents me from accepting your generous offer.
Remember, however, for every rape that is reported, many, many more go unreported thanks to the insensitivity of our misogynist culture that wants to blame the victim.
I am a survivor. Thank you, all! MUAH!
trish
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August 20, 2012 | Categories: #WarOnWomen, #WhereAreTheWomen, 2012 elections, activism, comments, communication, equality, government, heart, politics, reclaiming sexuality, religious oppression, Republicans, sex education, sexual abuse, sexual health, women's circles, women's rights, women's sexuality | Leave A Comment »