As I lay in bed this morning, trying to delay getting up and starting my day, I allowed my self some of my now customary stealth orgasms. These then led to spontaneous O’s, i.e., the just-thinking-of-O’s orgasms and the where-did-that-come-from-’cause-I-wasn’t-doing-anything orgasms. These “integrated,” stealth orgasms are not explosive or exciting in the usual sense — I’m sure if someone were to look on, he or she would be very bored. But somehow, they are fulfilling to me.
I waited too late to start actual genital stimulation for a blended orgasm because just a few minutes into it, I heard sounds from beyond my bedroom door signaling the child was awake. I sighed in frustration. I was not so far into the process that I would have that nagging, swollen, pulsating vulva and tingly/ itchy feeling all over from not finishing. But apparently I’d done enough in that short amount of time that as soon as I withdrew my fingers from my slick inner depths, I could feel contractions in my vagina, my PC muscles, my anus, in my legs, my abdominals, and fluttering in my ribcage. Great. My body was having the after-orgasm echo effects, but I didn’t get to savor the blended O — or any genital O — itself.
Strangely, I didn’t feel sexual frustration. I guess the numerous stealth O’s from the nipple and clit stim had been enough — or had heated up my parasympathetic nervous system enough — that my body was satisfied even though “I” wasn’t.
I listened intently and heard the child go back to her room. I thought about resuming but decided to enjoy the after-shocks instead. I closed my eyes and sent my focus to various areas, enjoying the internal swelling of aroused vaginal walls, the natural undulation of my hips, and the overall sensation of fulfillment that is similar in feeling to standing on the beach and feeling the wind washing over my face and body — as if the cosmos has given me a gentle hug and in its wake is an enveloping energy that is infinitely soothing. That is what the stealth orgasms feel like — they go through me, over me, under and around me, and I feel completely light as air and satisfied in a deeper sense than I’ve ever known.
“Allowing” is often seen as “giving up” or “giving in,” so chasing results often becomes a requisite for existence in daily life and business. Being “in the moment” to enjoy what you’re feeling now, in this moment, not the next, not later, not comparing to last time, but now is to be in true harmony with your body and in true bliss.
Orgasm is not a goal to be won or achieved, it is a moment to be experienced and savored just like every other moment.
“Orgasm” literally means “to swell,” but common thinking has led us to believe that orgasm is the end of a sexual experience. It isn’t. Orgasm is actually the beginning of the sexual experience, or the process of getting to that precipice of “la petite mort” explosion. And if we focus on the end of the experience then we are missing out on all the other, smaller but just as beautiful and important experiences along the way: the arousal process, the true orgasms, the more subtle, true orgasmic process of excitement as it swells in each moment.
Rather than actively going forward, reaching for some pre-determined end or idea of “climax,” allow your self to receive the moment. Receive the orgasm that is happening right now. Feel it wash over you… Be grateful… Now feel this moment… Allow… Receive… Be amazed… Be grateful… Now feel this moment……
Orgasm is not the end. Orgasm is the process itself, a process that doesn’t necessarily need an ending.
Aroused and allowing,
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January 20, 2012
You’ll notice I haven’t said much about the clitoris.
Since discovering blended orgasms over a decade ago, I don’t usually do clit-only stimulation. And with my recent explorations inside and the energy / sound orgasmic practice and sensual massage, I can use less stimulation on my clit — even prefer less stimulation on my clitoris. In fact, I recently tried doing clit-only stimulation to orgasm, and while I did reach orgasm, it was boring as hell. The orgasm was very localized to the clit itself, and there was no heat, no waves of pleasure, not even a real urge to go for another orgasm. It almost makes me sad to think my clit is a one-hit wonder. I guess blended O’s are the only orgasms I really enjoy.
And in regard to multiple orgasms. I’m not at the point where I can have several orgasms that automagically spring off the first orgasm (if that’s what people do). I still have to stimulate my clit and She spot for them. I want to get to that point of reaching orgasm and riding the waves of numerous orgasms.
One thing I have noticed since my orgasms have become so much stronger is how my clit naturally recedes into the body/pubic bone when I’m near orgasm. My clit is practically flush to my pubic bone near and during orgasm, and I just have to trust that she’s still there, tending to very important orgasm duties inside.
By the way, I’m looking into another technique that focuses on the clitoris, so stay tuned for more reports from the field!
Aroused and trusting,