Arts, Activism, Awakening in Mind, Body, & Spirit

women’s circles

NEWS: ArousedWoman Magazine PRE-SALE Premiere Issue or All 6 Issues


ArousedWoman MagazineComing soon!  ArousedWoman Magazine will hit the cyber-newsstands in August 2014.

You can pre-order and get yours reserved for $9.99.  Or get a subscription for all 6 bimonthly issues for just $49.99.

In order to be truly happy, you have to be happy (and healthy) on several levels.   The best way to accomplish this is with solid information so you can make informed decisions about your life, your body, your rights, and your peace of mind in this crazy, hectic world.

AW Magazine will be a digital publication, readable on any computer or mobile device.  The premiere August/September issue will be released in August 2014.

An extension of AW Blog and AW Radio, AW Mag is an in-depth look at various topics for women (and men!), including sex, health, fitness, nutrition, feminism/activism, original erotica, guest writers, spirituality, reviews, and more!

The August/September 2014 issue will feature articles and interviews on the topics:

  • Body image
  • California women’s Reiki healing center
  • Radiant pleasure
  • Finding our way back from patriarchy
  • Goddess-based spirituality
  • The new Atheism
  • Classical Tantra
  • Activist film festivals
  • Revolutionary Feminism
  • Painting female nudes
  • Healing yourself through meditation
  • Knowing your vagina
  • Massage & the importance of touch
  • Breast Health
  • Protecting your clit
  • Orgasm tips
  • New AskTrish letters
  • Sexual health
  • Overall nutrition
  • Recipes
  • Original erotica
  • Guest articles
  • OpEd pieces
  • Reviews
  • AND MORE!

Every issue will have new articles, new guests, new important health coverage, and new original erotica!

Pay using your PayPal account or your credit or debit card:

And please SPREAD THE WORD by sharing the link to this blog post.  Thank you!

trish

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NEWS: I Can Now Marry You


handfasting-marriage-wedding-handsI am now an official Marriage Officiant!

If you’re looking for a pagan, heathen, witchy, Wiccan, bohemian, theatrical, non-traditional, out-of-the-ordinary, non-Christian, and/or non-religious wedding, LET ME KNOW!  (I will be happy to officiate a Christian marriage, too.)

I want to provide an alternative to those who can’t or don’t want a Christian/church wedding but want more than the Justice of the Peace gig. 

If you’re in a state that allows GAY MARRIAGE, lemme know!  I will travel!

Feel free to contact me by leaving a comment below.

trish

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OpEd: Oh, to Belly Dance Naked at Burning Man….


woman-belly-dancing-toplessI have long had an interest in Burning Man, the bohemian, heathen, socialist event that happens in Nevada every year.  According to the website, Burning Man is an art event at which participants “dedicate themselves to the spirit of community, art, self-expression, and self-reliance.  They depart one week later, leaving no trace.”

As more and more people are awakening to the evils of crony capitalism and oppressive patriarchy, events that promote such blatant rebellion in the face of the prudish establishment are becoming more accepted and, hopefully, more common.

I used to do all sorts of ethnic dancing, and I particularly loved belly dancing.   It’s been a while, but I’m feeling the pull to get back into my shimmies and camel walks.

There is a powerful connection to the earth and goddess energy and being Woman that happens during belly dancing, Flamenco, or plain ol’ make-it-up-as-you-go-along free expression.  I was raised in ballet, which I still adore, but ballet is the opposite of everything that is free and lithe and curvy about belly dancing.

By the way, belly dancing isn’t just for thin women.  Women who are curvy have an advantage in belly dancing in that your extra jiggles cause extra jingles of your coin-hip belt.  Yes, it’s called BELLY dancing for a reason!

Recently, I’ve been looking into what all attending Burning Man would entail, and I don’t know that I can afford it this year, but I am definitely putting it on the books for next year.  A friend of mine in New York told me about something that happened in the temple last year that was a beautiful, amazing testament to what happens when people come together in unity.  He said after that, he will never miss another Burning Man.  The entire experience was just too incredible for words.

So, now I MUST experience Burning Man.  I NEED to experience this art event that is an example for all of society on how people can come together in love and harmony and respect the earth in the process.  And to have the freedom from neo-Puritanical laws that shame the human body — particularly women’s bodies and women’s nipples, to be able to dance naked amongst like-minded bohemian heathens is too tempting to resist, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde.

I encourage every woman to loosen up and try belly dancing as a way to connect to the sensual divine within you.  This isn’t about being perfect.  There is no judgment allowed!  And who knows, maybe next year, I’ll be amongst the living goddesses celebrating the beauty of the human body and the human spirit at the one and only Burning Man!

trish

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AskTrish: Man Inquires About “the Woman Behind the Blog” & What I Do in My Spare Time


woman-red-ostrich-feather-fanDear Trish,

That was random I know, but you share so much about your life and experiences that I wondered how you were doing in the areas that you don’t speak about.  You have every right to say nothing.  I just enjoy getting a better understanding of the woman behind the blog.

What do you like to do in your spare time, when you’re not being a sex guru or a mom? What do you hope to achieve in the next year, 5 years or 10 years? What is something that no matter how upset or angry you are always manages to make you smile or at least smirk? If knowledge is power, when it comes to the content of your Aroused Woman blog, how powerful do you feel?

All hail Queen Vagina!

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

You’re sweet! :-) A few posts back, I announced that I was branching out with ArousedWoman(TM), re-focusing on “Awakening Sexuality Through Mind, Body, & Spirit.”  So I’ll be posting lots of new topics and crazy wack-a-doo posts that I feel are relevant to my growth and that I hope are interesting to my readers.

As you can see from my “random post” on astral travel, that experience had a profound effect on me — not just my perception of what’s on the Other Side, but experiencing what actually is and is NOT on the Other Side confirmed for me many “beliefs” in regard to humanity, religion, society, etc.  My beliefs-turned-knowledge affect me sexually (i.e., there’s no hell and certainly no “sin” as classified by controlling religious dogma), the experience of pure love (I know what I’m looking for when it comes to love, I won’t settle for anything less, and love has to be felt — it can’t be intellectualized or rationalized, i.e., If I love him enough, he’ll change, so I’ll love him really hard and work to change him into the person I want him to be.), and other concepts I’m still integrating even after the 9 or 10 years since the experience.

Which brings me to my “spare time”… Just yesterday, in fact, my daughter asked me, “Just what do you do during the day?”  And I had to tell her the truth.  Not much.  I’m a Libra, a mind-candy person.  I’m a creator.  It’s difficult for me to actually finish anything because once it’s complete, it’s over — I can’t mind-candy it anymore.  But my creative works have to be completed if I’m gonna earn a paycheck and feed my child.

I spend most of my time reading, learning, experimenting, walking, cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, meditating, pondering, writing, tweeting, doing laundry, working, walking, composing music, looking at the trees, studying leaves, watching squirrels and birds interact, more reading, more research, more questing, listening to the wind, being witchy, brewing concoctions, making cool witchy stuff, doing web design for new clients, creating different workshops, textile design, writing, writing, writing, tweeting…

I don’t have “spare time” in that I do what I love for a living (theatre), and I’m currently working on 2 new training certifications, after which, I’ll go for 2 more.  (I’m already certified in yoga and Pilates.)  Because I do what I love, I don’t earn a lot of money — I live simply and have found that to be rather wonderful.  I go to bed every night thoroughly happy with my life.  I wish there were more time in the day, but I know I used the time I had to enrich my life, provide for my daughter, and enjoy being in this meat-suit while being amazed at the beauty that is around me.

It can be surreal sometimes.  I’ve had people say, “Wow, you lucked out writing for a living.”  No, I was in the performing arts for 36 years, I’m an award-winning composer, I hosted a radio show that had 27,000 listeners worldwide (that I put on hold to start ArousedWoman and fight the idiocy of the GOP during the 2012 POTUS election), and I have something to say.  I created my “luck” by working my ass off and paying my “dues.”  I earned my right to write for a living.

Currently, I’m creating an online course on Musical Theatre training topics, I’m starting a new project (a magazine), and I will get back to my theatre radio show soon.  I’m also going to teach some health workshops in my local area to help supplement my income.  I’m also working on the ArousedWoman cookbook, and I’m creating my orgasm training method (which will be in beta testing soon for anyone who wants to contact me to participate in it).

I’m still trying to get the AW Forum going and still raising money for ArousedWoman Radio, to interview guests and answer people’s question in real time.  But that is slow-going.  It will happen in its own time, I guess.

Most of my time is spent on personal growth, getting healthy, and growing my experiences sexually, sensually, tantrically.  I want to be a complete human, not a shell of a human in the rat race of society, as so many people are.  I want to help others get out of that kind of life — to help them make a better life for themselves, get healthier, find some kind of peace in this crazy world — to see that happiness in self and happiness in life are connected.  I want to help people overcome their PTSD with sexual trauma.  I want to help others see beyond the hypocrisy of religion, politics, and government — that all that bullshit doesn’t really matter — and if it does matter to you, then don’t just complain, actually get off your ass and do something about it.

I want to help people get off the lie that is the insensitive Western medical system which is being undermined by the pharmacological industry.  I want to inspire others to get back to the “beauty way,” back to Mother Earth because the livestock and dairy industries are killing our planet and our bodies.  We are not separate from the earth — the earth isn’t just the thing under the sidewalks and asphalt — the earth is our food, our air, our water, our home, our reason for incarnating to this physical plane.  If the living biosphere of the earth weren’t so important to us, we would have incarnated on Mars or somewhere else.  Duh.

I want people to take back their power to heal themselves without fear of criminalization from the oppressive forces in control of our society.

I want women to take back our rightful place as healers, warriors, judges, peacemakers — as we were before patriarchal misogyny made women property, whores, and household slaves.

Where do I want to be in 5 years?  Hopefully, I will have finished my Bachelor’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology from Sofia University and will be nearly finished with my Master’s in Women’s Spirituality.  After that, I may take 2 years to study Sanskrit at St. John’s University in Arizona.  And of course, 6 years from now, I hope to have completed my work to be an official teacher of Tantra.  Essentially, I want to be able to keep a roof over my head while helping others.

I used to think this life was too long.  In the past century, we have tripled our life expectancy.  Why?  Wasn’t 35 years of war, struggle, famine, disease, and natural disasters enough?  Now, we have to endure this for 72, or 85, or 105 years?!  Now, I see that even that long is not enough.  This is a great time to be in a meat-suit on the physical plane.  It is a truly wondrous time of change, and we’re a part of it.  The past century — this past year! — has seen the rise of women and the awareness of human rights that is 2,000 years overdue.

I just want to do my part to “Be the change.”  In my own particular brand of “random,” witchy, artistic, holistic, bohemian, awakening, loudmouth IrishLava. :-)  But understand, we really can’t change other people; we can only change ourselves and be the example of change we hope to inspire in others.

trish

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AskTrish: Man Asks About the Allure & Sexual Myths of Redheads


Redhead - Myths About Redheads as Wild Women in BedTrish, what is it about redheaded women that truly makes them stand out compared to other women?  Are they harder to love/please or is that just a myth?  Do people get burned easily by such a warm personality and fiery passion?  Or is that just a myth.  What are things that people need to understand about redheads?  What sexual myths do you hear often that are associated to women with Red hair?  Do you honestly believe any of them?  Does that make men or women more attracted to you or at least curious in some way?

tigertwo1515

Hey, there!

Redheads are quite deserving of such awesome questions, so thank you!

“Redhead” is a ubiquitous term for the fair-skinned, often freckle-faced redheads of Ireland and Scotland.  However, natural redheads are found around the world.  Redheads have been the source of stereotyping — good and bad — for millennia, and it’s only been in recent times that being a redhead has been something to get excited about.

“Red” hair ranges from reddish “strawberry” blonde, to carrot-top orange, to ginger, auburn, and chestnut shades.  In a 1995 study of redheads at Edinburgh University, Dr. Jonathan Rees discovered the reason for red hair is due to a mutation of the melanocortin 1 receptor, a.k.a, the MC1R, on the 16th chromosome, something he called the “Ginger Gene.”

Redheads have a greater risk of bruising and sunburning, but we also have a higher pain threshold.  In fact, redheaded people can require up to 20% more anesthesia during surgery than non-reds.  Perhaps this is why Irish people are so characterized as pugilistic — Gaels can take a hit and not feel it as readily?

Redheads have been a thorn in the side of world super-powers since at least ancient times.  Two of the Roman Empire’s most notorious foes were redheads: the warrior leader Vercingetorix of Gaul and the uppity Iceni warrior queen Boudicca of Britannia were both said to have masses of flowing red hair.  Both Mary Magdalene and Judas were also said to have red hair, and poor Eve is also portrayed as a redhead.  Between the Roman Empire’s pagan enemies and the Roman Church’s dislike of the Bible’s freethinking dissidents, adverse stereotypes of MC1R mutants were created to slander redheads.

Some of the myths that abound with having red hair also tie in to myths about freckles and even fair skin.  In medieval times, women were burned at the stake for having moles or “unexplained” markings on their bodies (supposedly succubi of the Devil).

Other myths that surround the heads o’ red include such gems like redheads don’t have souls, walking by a redhead on the sidewalk means you have to turn around, or that if two redheads have a child together, the child will be evil… the list goes on.

Natural redheads are also associated with having naturally large breasts.  Artists exploit this from pin-ups to comic book characters to “Jessica Rabbit,” therefore redheads are rarely portrayed as small-busted.  Thanks to the stereotypes of big breasts in porn, men automatically assume a woman with naturally large breasts is more sexual or more easily talked into sex — neither is true.  But add that myth to the other fiery temper myths about redheads, you’d think redheads were the sexual scourge of the earth.

Growing up, I hated being ridiculed for my “weird” hair color and “weird” eye color.  I even hated my freckles until an Indian dancer told me they were special because they were kisses from the sun.  Somehow, him saying that made me feel better about my freckles.  As for my hair, I was called “Peppermint Patty” and “Pippy Longstocking” more times than I care to recall, but I didn’t mind being called “Anne of Green Gables” or “Heidi.”  Though, thankfully, I have never been called the offensive “Tampon Top,” as some redheads are.

Fire Lava - redderRedheads in Bed

I asked around on Twitter, and I received a plethora of replies from men… so adding that to my personal experience of what men have said they love (and HATE) about me… the overwhelming consensus is that redheaded women are thoroughly uninhibited in bed.

Apparently, the outlandish stories about redheads being wild, sexually insatiable nymphomaniacs are neither a myth nor stereotype, but a delicious reality.  :-)  Since by “redhead,” I assume you’re talking about the Gaelic fiery Irish redhead — or at least, I hope so — I can attest that redheads are amazing in bed.

The fire isn’t just for the temperament or flaming auburn tresses, though.  We Gaelic types also tend to have hot skin.  I have had partners who didn’t want to sleep next to me or even hold my hand because my skin is so hot to the touch.  This is only one reason my nickname is “Lava.”  And I find it interesting that in Ayurvedic medicine, redheads are thought to epitomize the elemental energy pitta, which is a mix of fire & water ( see?… Lava :-) ).

Yes, we’re easy to anger (we’re Irish, duh!), but we’re also easy to laugh.  Redheads love adventure, taking risks, and trying new things.  We love singing and dancing with pure joy and full heart, and we want everyone around us to feel the same.  We love spinning a good yarn and listening to a great story in return.  Redheads naturally gravitate toward walking the road less traveled.

According to my non-scientific research, almost every man has a dream of being with a redheaded woman.  I, myself, align with the “Women Who Run With the Wolves” type of woman — women who are close to nature and the natural, inherent freedom of woman.  But then, I’m also a heathen pagan witch.  So who knows?!

Maybe that’s what men see in redheads — we heed the call of wild abandon in life, in love, and in sex, when other women allow themselves and their sexuality to be repressed.

And we don’t take shit off anyone! :-P

trish

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OpEd: Wounded Knee 1890 – U.S. Still Wages #WarOnWomen


Wounded Knee Museum South Dakota Black HillsDecember 29th is a day of mourning for all American Indian tribes and should be a day of disgrace for the United States.

On December 29, 1890, the 7th Cavalry sought revenge for Custer’s loss at the Little Big Horn by attacking Chief Big Foot’s band with rapid-fire Hotchkiss guns and mounted soldiers thirsty for blood.  The Army assassinated unarmed Lakota men and set out on horseback to chase down the women and children trying to run away in below-freezing temperatures.

It was so cold in fact, the bodies of Big Foot and his Lakota tribe were left on the ground where they died and had to be dug out from the snow by the U.S. soldiers, who then threw them into mass graves.

The massacre of the Cheyenne at Sand Creek in 1864 was a brutal display of evil wearing self-righteous’ clothing.  Newspapers of the day described how the U.S. soldiers paraded through town wearing their spoils of war, including scalps of  male warriors and fetuses they’d carved out of pregnant Cheyenne women’s uteruses, worn around the soldiers’ necks with pride as if each “trophy” were a fashionable scarf.

Thirty years before, the Eastern and Southern tribes had been made to walk the Trial of Tears, leaving the lush, tree-covered rolling hills of their ancient stomping grounds to walk more than a thousand miles to the alien, barren land of what is now Oklahoma.  This was preceded by decades of Indian wars over land that the indigenous tribes could not fathom as being “owned.”  The tribes with whom the U.S. was now at war had been the real reason America won its independence from the British to begin with.  And even before the American Revolution, the Puritans’ massacres of the Pequot resulted in the murders of mostly women, children, and elderly by setting fire to their village.

American history is littered with murders and atrocities that earned U.S. soldiers Medals of Honor.

I’ve been to the Knee.  It is a haunting, sacred place.  But then, all of this land is sacred — rich and beautiful.  Which is why the American government would do anything to steal every square inch of it.

Considering the hatred our governmental leaders have shown women in 2012, am I really surprised that American soldiers chased pregnant and elderly women for 2 miles along a frozen river, shooting them all for sport?  Or that pregnant Cheyenne women were butchered?  Or women and children burned alive?  No.  Militant oppressors always target women because women give birth to the next generation.  We give birth to their future enemies.

What surprises me is that in 2012, ignorant baffoons like Rush Limbaugh can call a woman a slut, and we’re outraged, but he calls a scholar a “squaw” and no one blinks.  (Hint:  “Squaw” is a horrible, degrading term for an indigenous woman’s genitals.  How degrading?  Call a black person the “N” word.  It’s about like that.)  Right now, Chief Theresa Spence is on a hunger strike in an effort to help the indigenous people of Canada, and yes, women and children make up a good number of those for whom she’s fighting — starving herself — to get a meeting with Canada’s Prime Minister.

The #WarOnWomen is not new.  Patriarchal politics and religions have always hated women and our inherent strength.  I’m white, but I’m a woman and a mother.  To be targeted because of a woman’s gender always hits too close to home.  The insanity and irrationality of racism is mind-boggling to me.  But remembering the past can help us come together and end this misogynist tyranny once and for all.

Remember the Knee.  We are all connected.  Be the change.

trish

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ArousedWoman Love, Sex, & Orgasm Consults Now Available


With the success of my AskTrish series, I have been inundated with questions by people seeking personal help with their individual situations regarding sex, masturbation, healing from sexual trauma, and relationships.

I’ve been receiving so many questions on general topics and specific scenarios, I’m having trouble keeping up with them on top of my paying writing gigs!  This is a great problem to have — it means you all love and respect my perspective, which warms my heart immensely.  However, some querents have been less than gracious and even rude — one man asked a question via Twitter, then moments later told me to get back to him “soon, today”  — like I’m a trained dog?  Or like he had me on a paid retainer, or something?!

To alleviate this, I am still doing the AskTrish series, but on a schedule that suits my timetable.  I am aiming for two to four posts per month.

To handle the overflow of questions, I am now offering personal consultations because I know for a fact just reading the AW Blog has helped many people.  I like answering people’s questions over Twitter, but these Twitter convos have been taking hours… literally!  I don’t teach voice lessons for free or write theatre articles for free, nor can I offer in-depth training for free (hey, I’m a single mom with a kid to feed).  So please ask me a question via Twitter, but if it gets too involved, I will tell you to go for a Consult.

Personal consultations allow me to focus only on you  and your particular situation and offer you specific techniques just for you.  Use the email form on the AW Consult page to get the ball rolling.  If I feel I cannot help you, I will tell you exactly that.  I will not hold a consult if I don’t know I can help you.

The Consult can be held over the phone or via Skype (no video at this time).  Personal orgasm training is also available, just use the Consult form to inquire.  For more info, visit the AW Consult page.

And be on the look-out for more posts today on the up-cumming features of ArousedWomanTM!

trish


Comments 08-19-12: Support from Friends after ‘Milk Your Rape’ Tweet Attack


I know most of my readers check out my blog for sex tips, so I won’t drag this out.  It is a sad reality, though, that the uncomfortable topic of rape doesn’t come up often enough in our culture’s national dialogue.  If it did, maybe there would be less rape in the world.

Anyhoo…

This Twitter drama was more than I ever wanted or needed in terms of having to defend myself from being blamed for my rape and/or being made the villain because I didn’t report it.  When the verbal assault happened over Twitter, I felt like I’d been blunt-kicked in the heart.  I felt that creepy, dizzy feeling radiating outward from my ribcage, and I started shaking.  I just breathed through it and decided to get angry instead of allowing any PTSD take over.  The anger allowed me to channel my feelings into writing, which is proactive and productive.  See!  Being Irish comes in handy!

I want to genuinely thank all of you  who sent me words of love and support, and I appreciate the sentiment of those who offered to help do that Twitter jerk bodily harm.  Unfortunately, the Law of Karma prevents me from accepting your generous offer. :)

Remember, however, for every rape that is  reported, many, many more go unreported thanks to the insensitivity of our misogynist culture that wants to blame the victim.

I am a survivor.  Thank you, all! MUAH!

trish

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MyTweets & Comments 08-19-12: “You Want to Milk Your Rape for Sympathy”


While having a thought-provoking chat with a friend  on Twitter, I got a bit of a shock out of nowhere.  I’m not shocked easily.  I wish I could say I’m not hurt easily, but even after all the crap I’ve been through in my life, my annoying humanity is still intact.

With the ridiculous comment from Rep. Todd Akin about “legitimate rape,” all of Twitter was a-buzz with chatter on the subject of rape.  Interestingly, the topic which had started out being on abortion had shifted dramatically to rape, and not surprisingly, society once again placing the blame and the shame of rape on the women — the rape victim.

Out of nowhere, this jerk, “Dan,” buts into the civil convo I was having with my friend @sevenlayercake — though we differ in viewpoints, she and I can have amiable conversations.  Whenever a Twitter interloper butts in, I check their bio.  This guy was supposedly an “outspoken gay professional.”  As a loudmouth Scotch-Irisher and theatre pro, I can certainly handle this guy.

I posted the link to my recent article on my rape — something I have never, ever, ever, EVER told the details of to anyone alive or dead on this earth until I wrote this article on it a few days ago.  Why?  For the very reason, I didn’t think anyone would believe me.  And this jackwad says, “You want to milk your rape for sympathy.”

If this guy is “gay,” then he is the most fervently women-hatin’ gay man I’ve ever met.  Gay men usually dig women, just not sexually.  Being in the theatre, it’s not unusual for a gay man to ask me how I do my lipstick or to borrow my blouse.

So, below, is the conversation and yet another example of how the War on Women exists — and is apparently spreading to the gay men demographic, which I find to be very sad. :(

In my head, I hear the lyrics to Gloria Gaynor’s anthem:

First, I was afraid, I was petrified…

I will survive

As long as I know how to love,

I know I’ll stay alive

I’ve got all my life to live,

I’ve got all my love to give

And I’ll survive,

I will survive.

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart

Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart

I spent, oh, so many nights just feeling sorry for myself

I used to cry but now I hold my head up high.

I will survive.

 

trish

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MyTweets & Comments 08-17-12: Body Image, Stretch Marks, & Self-Hate


Continuing on with my desire for a Bohemian, hippy, free love lifestyle, doing Tantric yoga with an earthly male god, chanting mantras, and generally taming this Kundalini energy that has become so… unwound…

Diane, a gynecologist, commented on my lament of my current weight, and she gently beeyotch-slapped me back to reality and away from the evil that is media enculturation.  I’ve already written about my personal history due to my breasts’ size, my rape, and America’s obsession with breasts along with the hypersexualization of women’s bodies.

This self-hate is not normal.  Hating other women is not normal.  I think this competition we feel and act out is due in large part to the male machine of media, culture, and religion, all of which vilify the female form in one way or another.

Thanks, Diane, for the reality check!

May the Vagina be with you all!!!

trish

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MyTweets & Comments 08-16-12: Hippy, Free Love & Stretch Marks


After a morning spent enlightening the GOP teabaggers on how ridiculous they are (nicely, of course), I once again had the yearning to run away from all this election craziness — this time coupled with an insane desire to join a nudist colony… just to be free of all the status symbols society deems important or even crucial to life.

I commiserated that I haven’t lost enough weight to be naked in front of others in public and was promptly reminded that we women cannot self-sabotage ourselves by heeding the KoolAid of media and culture’s negativity.

So onward I go, through this catharsis that has me by my she-balls.

trish

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MyTweets & Comments 08-10-12: My Stance as a Humanist Not a Feminist


Feminism is a hotly-debated topic in America and other narrow-minded, backwards, patriarchal areas of the world.  As a woman who is a humanist, I often have to deal with the backlash from other women who think I’m a traitor to “the cause.”

I will write a longer piece detailing my why’s and wherefore’s of being a humanist rather than a feminist, but today on Twitter, I gave a brief “nutshell version” of my reasoning.  The responses in return ranged from thought-provoking to hilarious.

Below are a few of the comments that made me think and made me smile.

trish


OpEd: Fucking Cherokee Men (and Other People of Color)


As a kid in Mississippi, the Native culture was all around.  State law requires 5th graders to take a year of Mississippi history, and high school students have to take at least one semester of Mississippi history to get their high school diploma.  I’ve been very fortunate to have several mentors who literally changed my life, and the irony that most of them were American Indian has not been lost on me.

When I entered Catholic schools in 4th grade, I discovered just how cruel the elitist class could be.  Because of my fair skin, I was called “albino.”  Because my hair was a weird strawberry-blonde color and my eyes were blue-green, I was called “mutant.”  Add in my freckles and the gap in my front teeth, I was a treasure trove of reasons for the rich kids to ridicule me.

This was also around the time the movie E.T. came out.  So playing on the mutant/alien theme, I would hear, “Hey, E.T., here’s a quarter, why don’t you phone home? ‘Cause we don’t want you here!” …  or …  “Hey, E.T. Guess you’re here ’cause your alien family didn’t want you either.”

When I hit puberty, I was suddenly taller than everyone, and I grew breasts and hips, making me wider than everyone else, too.  The kids took my first name, Patricia, and renamed me “Fatty Patty.”  I was not overweight, but reality did not matter.  When we studied World War II and learned about the Japanese suicide bombers, the Kamikaze, the bullies at school then took my last name, Causey, and used it in taunts: “Hey, Kami-Causey, you’re so ugly, why don’t you go fly a plane and kill yourself?!” …  or…  “Hey, Kami-Causey, you’re so fat, why don’t you go fly a plane — oh, wait, you’re so fat, the plane wouldn’t get off the ground.”

The “in” look of the late 1970’s and early 1980’s, as portrayed by models like Cheryl Tiegs and Christie Brinkley, was the Midwestern tall, thin, tan stereotype.  I certainly didn’t fit the bill. Except for my grandmother, I was the shortest female in my family.  I was 5-foot-6.  In my Scotch-Irish family, the women were Amazons and the men were tree trunks.  I was short — for my family.

Somewhere in these formative years, I developed a liking for men who were tall, dark, and handsome… or at least tall and dark.  Maybe it was a matter of “opposites attract,” or maybe I just had too many years of being made to feel worthless because of the way I looked.  Maybe it was the cultural and media conditioning of Disney movies where the “Prince” is usually tall and dark.  Or perhaps it is just a cruel fact of nature that blonde men are stupid… and arrogant… :-)  On a side note, I hope a blonde man will prove me wrong one day. Also, I prefer brunette women, but sex with a redhead would just be redundant.

I support colorblind casting in theatre.  Everyone should be given a chance regardless of what they look like.  And I’ve always felt that reverse discrimination is still discrimination.  Isn’t discriminating for  just as bad as discriminating against?  And yet, growing up in the elitist world of private schools and the fine arts, having “discriminating tastes” was a sign of being well-bred and “cultured.”  Looking back, I can see now why some people were shocked that my best friends in (Catholic) high school were a Jewish girl, a black guy, and a short, overweight girl who ate Wendy’s burgers to curb her sexual fetishes… and then there were all my gay theatre friends…

When I was 17, an American Indian ballet dancer pointed me in the direction of my Irish heritage.  It was amazing to finally be connected with people who looked like me!  And learning about the pre-Christian traditions of the Gaelic people was life-changing for me. But meeting him — this gorgeous, tall, gorgeous, dark, exotic, gorgeous, NDN male ballet dancer who exuded virile masculinity even though he wore tights on his gorgeous muscular legs and his gorgeous buns of steel…  Sorry…  I digress…  Meeting him opened my eyes to men other than the WASPs and redneck assholes I’d met so far.

Participating in an international theatre competition in South Korea at age 21, I fell in love with the Korean people, and my eyes were opened to the beauty of Asian men.  (Yes, I now watch “Hawaii Five-0″ for Daniel Dae Kim. I could totally fuck his cheekbones!)  And yet, I have a fondness in my heart (and in my loins) for the Black Irish and Black Scots like Pierce Brosnan and Sean Connery, respectively.  Years ago, I developed a fascination with India and all things Hindu, so those dudes are most definitely on my vagina’s radar.  A sure sign of progress, television now offers a beautiful rainbow of men to ogle, thanks to diversity casting (albeit for still somewhat stereotypical roles).  And truth be told, being a white chick from Mississippi, I just assume no black guy would want to be with me, so no, I haven’t bothered in that department (doesn’t mean I wouldn’t if I got the chance, though! Call me.).

However, the idea of purposely choosing a partner for  the way he or she looks — or for  his or her ethnicity — didn’t enter my awareness until a conversation I had while working with a ballet seamstress of Cherokee and Choctaw blood.

Studying ancient cultures and other peoples of the world, I found that most of the world has black hair and brown eyes, while reddish hair and blue-green eyes really are the results of mutant genes….  Oh, well….  The good news was that lusting after dark men isn’t really discriminating for  that “look.”  Choosing a man with dark coloring is actually just the law of averages at play.  So then choosing a mate really comes down to penis size.

(Just kidding.  Still reading?)

Joanne, the Cherokee/Choctaw master seamstress, and I worked on the costumes for an upcoming production of The Nutcracker.  I think she was bedazzling a Sugar Plum Fairy costume — except she was doing it old school, hand-sewing each cabochon rhinestone and sequin by hand.  Meanwhile, I was put in charge of working on the Mouse King’s giant chicken-wire and shag carpet-covered head.  As a woman in her 60’s, working with the carpet materials was too much for her hands.

She would often reminisce about previous ballet competitions and the former great dancers.  She would also talk about being from the reservation here in Mississippi and being poor.  At this time in her life, Joanne was looking forward to marrying her second husband, and I noticed she would often talk about her first husband from many years prior, the father of her children, who were now grown.  Knowing that she needed to vent, I let her.  I loved her dearly as a friend and mentor.  She was a prolific articulator of the words “fuck” and “asshole.”  I loved her even more for it.

Working in complete silence, Joanne suddenly started the conversation that inspired this post…

“He was a mean asshole.”

I thought she was talking about the Artistic Director.  “Fernando?!”

“No, my first husband…  He was a mean asshole.”

“Why?” I asked.

“He was a full-blood Cherokee and cantankerous as all get out….  Yep.  He was an asshole.”

Silence.  Several minutes passed.

“When he would drink was when it was the worst,” she continued.  “He’d start some stupid shit just to start an argument.  And he seemed to forget I’m  Cherokee and  Choctaw.  And an Indian woman doesn’t put up with an Indian man’s bullshit.  Fuck that!”

In complete naivete, I inquired, “Joanne, why on earth would you stay with someone like that?”

She looked off into the distance, “He was only like that when he drank too much.  But when he was sober, he could fuck like nobody’s business!”

“Joanne!”

“It’s true.  He didn’t realize I let him have his drunk rampages ’cause I knew the fuckin’ we’d be doing when he was sober and sorry about it.”  She looked me square in the eye.  “If you ever  get the chance to fuck a Cherokee man, do it!   You won’t regret it!  Best fuckers out there!”

“Joanne!” I exclaimed, still incredulous.  “Isn’t that racist?!

“It would be, if I were talking about his skin…  But I’m  talking about his dick.  And Cherokee men can fuck  like nobody’s business.”

So ……………… um …………………….. Any Cherokee men out there???

 
 

Aroused and heading for the stomping grounds,

trish

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Best Fake ‘Smackdown’ on Twitter Ever!


Being an activist is a hard job. Mainly because it is a relentless pursuit of justice — bringing awareness to the masses who prefer drinking the KoolAid and caring more about the latest shenanigans of the Kardashians or newest “American Idol” results. Also, the activist pay sucks — usually in the low $0’s.

Occasionally, my loudmouth Twitter crew and I break from the drivel of enlightening the sheeple and go off on our own inner tirade of ridiculousness to relieve stress. Yesterday was one of those days.

With little preamble, I simply and humbly provide for your viewing pleasure what might be the greatest fake smackdown ever. It will live in infamy (in our minds), and I hope it brings a smile to your face. Just click the picture to the left to see it.

And to Michele — It’s ON, bitch! :P

trish

On Twitter: @AnArousedWoman

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


History, His-Story vs. Herstory, Her-Story: Where Are the Women in Our Story?


In response to a reader’s comment on my usage of “his-story” and “herstory” in this post, I wrote this little response.

The terms herstory / her-story are used in feminist writings for the precise point of underlining exactly how much women have been left out of the masculine narrative of world events, i.e., history.  I even wrote a musical called Herstory, dealing with this very topic. (To hear a few demos, go to my personal site: TrishCausey.com.)

It’s not so much an etymological derivation I’m going for with his-story or even her-story, but rather a play on words, making the distinction between history — the narrative we’re taught in school and take for granted as “accurate,” and his-story — the overwhelmingly one-sided male version of world events that its orchestrators consistently and conveniently left women out of — all of which echoes the current political climate, a.k.a. the 2012 elections that prompted the right-wing Republicans’ “War on Women,” that caused Democrats and social activists to ask the question: Where Are the Women?!

As they say, the conquerors write the history books, and this is true whether it is women being left out or the “other side” of the story being obscured to make the conqueror look better.

When I was in school, “World History” consisted only of the Greek Empire, the Roman Empire, a paragraph or two on ancient China, a hiccup on India, and then jerking off to the wonders of Columbus and the so-called “discovery” of the “New World.”  This hardly covers all of world history, and frankly, it’s a piss-poor job of a “survey” of history as well.

Archeological evidence around the world proves women were involved in all aspects of society: fighting in battles, doing daily domestic chores within a tribe or clan, leading religious activities as priestesses, acting as medical healers of an entire community, and officiating in government as judges and/or chieftains or queens.  The fact that the emphasis on goddesses is so prevalent on ancient cultures sheds but a glimpse of the extent to which women might have been revered.

From the rise of the imperial, patriarchal regimes of antiquity through the 20th century, women who really wanted to participate did so in “drag,” dressing as a man in order to fulfill their purposes in helping with a cause.  Women who were openly independent, standing up to oppressive religion and government or fully participating in teaching the next generation of girls the women’s mysteries, were accused of Witchcraft and summarily arrested, tortured, and executed in one form or another, burning at the stake being the favored method in Europe, while hanging or even stoning was preferred in the “New World.” And yes, I wrote a musical on this as well:  Witchcraze.

Women have not only been erased from history (i.e., Hatshepsut’s statues in Egypt de-faced and her named chiseled out of the stone to erase her legacy — quite literally), but women have not been accurately included in history to begin with.  In medieval Europe, the tradition of not even recording girls’ names when they were born was common — because girls were not important.  But boys’ names were recorded because property, family names, and inheritances were passed down through the male line under the patriarchal societal system.

When I participated in a medieval historical re-enactment group, the name nerds were sticklers for making sure everyone’s persona had a legitimate, verifiable name for the time frame and nationality of the persona.  As a 12th century Scot, getting my name “approved” was difficult because females were not recorded except in extreme cases, such as a wealthy (for Scotland) couple only having a female child survive to adulthood.  (The fact that the Scots at this time were also on the last legs of independence in their indigenous culture, which had an oral tradition not a written language, made documentation difficult as well.)  So while they wanted me to prove my name did exist, I told them to prove it didn’t.  They couldn’t — because women were not included in the male narrative from the beginning.

I’ve often asked the question — Name 5 famous women from American history.  Most people name Betsy Ross, Harriet Tubman, maybe Eleanor Roosevelt, maybe Susan B. Anthony.  But no one ever gets to 5 names.  They rarely get to the 20th century when women finally earned the right to vote in 1920 and marched in the streets for equal rights in the 1960’s and 1970’s!  That shows just how much women have been excluded from the important facts in American his-story.  Our brains are drilled on the male war mongers, the American Revolution, the male Founding Fathers, the male presidents, even the male dissidents, the bloody American Civil War, World War I, and World War II.  Women were there!  Obviously, we were there, or none of us would be here today!  But in the common narrative of history, “Where Are the Women?”

It is time to re-write the history books — not as his-story, or even solely her-story, but to tell the tale of all of us.

Our Story.

trish


REVIEW: Divine Women – When God Was a Girl, BBC Two Television Series


Bettany Hughes

A current series on BBC Two is shaking up the bubble of religious misogyny that the Catholic church and fundamental conservatives don’t want you to know about.

Bettany Hughes, anthropologist and author of The Hemlock Cup: Socrates, Athens and the Search for the Good Life and Helen of Troy: The Story Behind the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, has appeared in several programs for the BBC and PBS highlighting ancient history and women’s place in it: Helen of Troy, The Minotaur’s Island, and When the Moors Ruled in Europe.

Hughes’ latest foray into the world of highlighting women’s contributions to world history is the BBC Two series “Divine Women.”  She brings to light information about women’s involvement in religion, not only as supreme mother goddesses and priestesses to the masses, but goddesses and women as true forces to be reckoned with (think Kali), when women were revered for their ability to both create and defend themselves and their loved ones as they saw fit — essentially, these females were in complete control of their bodies and their own desires, a great reminder for women today!

Women’s independent nature has repeatedly been attacked for centuries in the form of witch trials and anti-suffrage movements.  The inherent fear and jealousy that many men have toward women was first cultivated by the patriarchal, imperial regimes of antiquity in the original #waronwomen that we are fighting to this day.

Hughes’ soft-spoken, well-educated British delivery lessens the blow of shockingly empowering information, that heretofore, only we Pagans and heathens seem to have known.  Elevating women to the status of not only equals in religion, government, and society, the evidence shows women were actually viewed as superior to men just as female goddesses overshadowed male gods.  This may come as a surprise to religions that forbid women to be priests or governments that refuse to allow women to fight on the front lines of battle — all because we have vaginas, the part of woman men love and fear simultaneously.

In reading a review by a clueless male UK writer, he thought the first episode was slow, meandering, and overall lame. When I confronted him on Twitter, I substantiated my arguments with facts (and passion), and he accused me of being a “bot.”  I guess that’s the social media version of when women are “emotional” or “high-strung,” we’re just experiencing the effects of being “hormonal” at “that time of the month.”  He again proved that the average man simply cannot tolerate an empowered, strong, kicking-butt-taking-names woman — similar to the insecure men who banded together to erase women from history and religion, relegating women’s only value in society to giving birth to healthy sons and cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking meals, raising the kids, and laying back for lackluster sex whenever the husband was horny.

Whether you believe in a duality of a higher spirit or not, the time has come to re-write the his-story books that erased women from its narrative. We regurgitate the names of male generals and the battles they waged and call it “history.” We revere the “Founding Fathers” with no regard for the women who were our “Founding Mothers.” This series, “Divine Women,” is a brilliant step in the right direction of getting accurate information about women’s true role in the history and the her-story of the world.

For now, UK audiences can watch it on BBC Two. When it hits the DVD section of Amazon, I am definitely buying it!

Agree or disagree?  Leave a comment!

trish


DailyOJ 12-14-11: My Journey from Sexual Abuse & Bad Marriage to Vocal Activist & Orgasm Goddess


December 14, 2011

(*In response to a man’s question regarding my practice vs. the KSMO protocol. He wanted to know if I’d thought of waiting a day in between sessions to have regular orgasm sessions. He also queried my reason for pursuing KSMO since I seem to be so orgasmic. He then mentioned that women who use KSMO report intense orgasms with minimal stimulation.*)

In regard to waiting a day in between (as the KSMO protocol says), yes, I considered it, then decided to go for a fabulous orgasm instead.  I am in an experimental time.  While I want the grandest of magickal O’s that my body is capable of, I am enjoying the journey and learning about myself / my self in the process.  Maybe I’ll take the day off today, KSMO tomorrow, then have a solo session, and see what the Orgasm Faery brings.

And yes, I have delicious orgasms now, but this wasn’t always so.  Men only seem to notice the orgasms women have or talk about (or lie about in Cosmo or Penthouse Forum).  But women tend to hide the journey they had to travel to get there — to be able to orgasm at all, much less with a partner, much less have multiple orgasms.  I think this leads to a more important topic which is, “What exactly is the DEFINITION of ORGASM?”  It seems everyone has his or her own definition, and medical definitions tend to be clinical and sterile with no hint at the emotional side of orgasm or the bliss that is possible.  (Which is typical since “Western medicine” was founded by men.)

MY HERSTORY:

I started masturbating when I was 15, and while I liked the arousal (build up of tension) and lead-up to the orgasm (sudden release of tension, localized to the clitoris), I was left with that classic disappointment of “Is that it?  What the hell is all the fuss about?”  And yet, I kept coming back for more, each time hoping that the ecstatic bliss portrayed in romantic movies and romance novels was just over the horizon, if only I could stimulate harder, faster, longer, it could be mine, too.

I truly wish I’d had a women’s circle to belong to, to learn from — to learn how to cherish my female body and female sexuality in a healthy, safe, trusted environment.  Every female should admire and explore her body in front of a big mirror and appreciate her self for the amazing gift that it is.  Likewise, every (straight / bisexual) man should learn to give yoni massage and offer yoni puja on a regular basis.)

I found my G-spot / She Spot in 2001 or 2002-ish, and that made a huge difference because vaginal orgasms are like hot waves that wash over the whole body, rocking you back and forth as they crash against an unseen shore before another wave pushes forth.  The She Spot is part of the female prostate, and at the time, I had no idea what was in store for me once I awakened my prostate — that’s another story in itself!

A clitoral orgasm only took 2 minutes to achieve which was great for getting to sleep really fast at night, but the clitoral orgasm was localized to the clit and generally unrewarding (not anymore, though).  At the time, a She Spot-only orgasm needed an hour to an hour-and-a-half of constant, consistent stimulation to achieve the full-body waves (sans explosive tension release) orgasm.  This was exhausting, and without the explosion, unfulfilling, so ultimately, She Spot orgasms were more frustrating than anything else.  (They were also emotional, whereas clitoral O’s usually are not.)

I was looking for something that could get me great orgasms with less work.  Along the way, I began doing simultaneous stimulation of my clit & G-spot which would bring a pretty nice blended orgasm in about 10-20 minutes… but only one.  I wanted LOTS.  (For the record, I’ve got my time down to about 6 minutes, and the multiple orgasms that occur are outstanding… jus’ sayin’…)

I was molested as a child and raped as an adult, so being able to orgasm at all is a truly great accomplishment.  And thankfully, I have little to no mind fuzz because of it.  Anger?  Of course.  But that isn’t productive, so I choose to stay in good energy.  I was also in a very bad marriage for 13 years that was absolutely unsatisfying for me sexually.  In fact, when I did want to participate, he got defensive, accused me of not liking what he was doing — so unless I was on top or giving him a blow-job, I was on my back, just there for him to do whatever he was doing till he came and (thankfully) rolled off me.  Don’t bother asking why I stayed.  Let’s just say, at the time, I couldn’t afford to leave.  I’m happy to report I have been a single mom for a year and a half, making it on my own — thankya, thankya, vurry much!

MY JOURNEY:

I’ve worked very hard to be a fully sexual woman, so I don’t take any orgasm, “small” or “meteoric” for granted.  I appreciate them all.

I’m in tune with myself because I have a long-held activist streak, especially for women and women’s rights, and with that comes pride and the freedom to be a sexual being.  I’ve done years of work on myself to be at the point where I can have sex for no reason other than wanting to feel pleasure, i.e., not to please a man, make him feel better about himself, not to keep a man, or use sex to pretend I’m being loved.  It just so happens that at this point in my life, I want sex with emotion, i.e., to make love, not a casual hook-up with a carnal fuck.  (Sorry, feminazis.)

I loved learning Tantra positions and philosophies, but its focus is on partner work.  KSMO was the next step in my journey because I don’t have a partner right now, and KSMO is a solo practice.  But I didn’t expect the male jealousy and animosity toward women that cropped up repeatedly.

Sometimes, while reading the KSMO Forum, it almost makes me feel like I should apologize that, as a woman, I don’t have to overcome ejaculation or erection control, which is what brings most guys to KSMO.  Learning to female ejaculate is one PRIME reason I wanted to explore my body even more — to experience female ejaculation, which I have in low doses, but I want the full-out geyser experience.  So on this topic, I think we might always be Mars vs. Venus.  And yet, if I do apologize for not having to deal with erection / penis issues, then I’m apologizing for being female, which I absolutely will not do.

So when the guys start getting a jealous streak because they think women are getting a “free pass” in the orgasm department, they need to read the research statistics and know that women have as much mental, emotional, psychological, and physical crap to deal with as men.  Just because my erectile tissue is mostly inside my body doesn’t mean I don’t need to learn how to “control” it.  After all, how do you control something you CAN’T see?!  (A lot of inner work and genital yoga, that’s how!)  And since the medical establishment is STILL making discoveries about women’s anatomy and sexual responses, I will continue to enjoy learning as I go.

Anyone who’s done KSMO even half-assed (and that’s not an Aneros joke) knows that KSMO, Tao, Kundalini, Tantra, and other energy / sound-based protocols are about much more than orgasm.  You wind up dealing with things you thought you’d buried and hidden so well from the world.  You built really great walls so no one would know.  Then you get the Fu Dogs, Terrors, and Mind Fuzz breaking down your walls from the INSIDE, and you have nowhere to run.

I took 4 years off from KSMO because I needed to set my Fu Dogs straight.  I’ve spent years working on my own crap.  In fact, one of the things that confuses me the most is seeing posts (from guys) on the KSMO Forum who talk about all the mind noise they have and the issues that come up, but think the problem is KSMO.  Any energy / sound-based protocol done correctly purges the subconscious self of the ingrained, entrained, brainwashing crap of society, religion, media, previous relationships, et al.  But they fail to see that.  I didn’t want to take 4 years off from my orgasm schooling, but I felt that was what I needed to do.

COSMIC ORGASM:

Right now, I am more interested in the journey to the orgasm.  And I see the journey and the orgasm as a meditation.  I don’t think you can do KSMO, or Tao, or Kundalini, or Tantra correctly and not learn about yourself while learning about your body’s ability to awaken to orgasm.  I know the higher level energy field of orgasm exists — the cosmic orgasm, and that’s what I want to conjure at will.  I read the KSMO adepts talking about the energy as it moves within their body, and in KSMO orgasms, they float in that energy field.  I’ve been there in my astral dreams, but I want to be able to go there any time I desire it.

I just did an interview on my radio show, Musical Theatre Talk, with a master voice teacher who uses healing energy on and for singers.  Hearing her talk about raising, moving, and using energy for the purposes of singing and performing suddenly made a lot of sense to me re: KSMO, Chi, the Chakras, Kundalini serpent unspiraling, the raising / moving of energy the Adepts talk about.  I guess I just needed it in a language I understand — singer-ese.

The orgasms I’ve experienced since starting back with KSMO a couple months ago are nothing short of soul-stirring.  Even if the journey up to orgasm seems regular sometimes, the last part of the ride is not, and the intensity of my orgasms is beyond anything I’ve experienced prior to KSMO… and yet, I know there is more to explore — such as female ejaculation and further anal play, just to name a couple items on my to-do list.

And so I’m here.  I’m orgasmic.  I’m vocal.  I’m unapologetic.

Just following Jack’s advice on sensual touching has given me a new appreciation of my  breasts (which I always hated) and even my body’s ability to respond to touch.

And thank you, for being brave enough to ask me point-blank questions, and knowing (I hope!) that nothing I wrote is directed at you personally or energetically…. I’m just Irish that way.

Aroused and vocal,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


DailyOJ 11-19-11: PC Muscles, Periods, and Belly Dancing


November 19, 2011

(* In response to a man who said young women should “exercise their PC muscles even if they are still relatively young there are so many benefits,” to which I disagreed and was asked by another man to provide “some instructive reasons” to support my feelings. *)

I’m a hu(wo)manist, and activist, and a temperamental Irish redhead, so any statement that includes “most women should” just naturally gets my hackles up.  Nothing personal.

I think younger women are usually more physically fit and tend to be more sexually active than women who have the pressures and time constraints of work and kids, with added weight post-partum (leading to body image issues, lack of sex drive due to hormonal changes, and just being tired all the damn time).  Therefore, younger women would not need to exercise their PC muscles because the muscle tissue is already firm and toned, through athletics, going out dancing, being more open to sexual adventures, et al.

It is the women in their 30’s and 40’s who have had physiological changes to their vaginal area, the widening and contracting of the hip joints and ligaments, and changes to the pelvic floor from carrying a child in utero and then giving birth that changes and possibly stretches the PC muscles to feeling weak.  As we get older, the body parts shift, and sitting at a desk all day, in front of the TV at night, with such bad posture, certainly doesn’t help. This lack of general exercise women get once they are on the career path and have had kids tends to be quite sedentary compared to the long-ago traditions of walking for purposes of migration, foraging, and finding water.

Also, most PC muscle exercises (a.k.a. Kegel exercises) focus on squeezing UP.  This is because the Kegels were designed to help women who were experiencing urinary incontinence — to encourage the sphincter qualities of the muscles and control “urine” leakage, especially during sex.  (Those of us who subscribe to the veracity of Female Ejaculation as a legitimate sexual phenomenon wonder just how many of these women were actually ejaculators but forced into shame by an ignorant male medical system.)

For female ejaculation, the emphasis is pushing OUT, therefore Kegels are NOT the answer to better orgasms, but rather the death of the female orgasm.  Squeezing UP cuts off sensation and compresses the tissues restricting blood flow and nerve endings.  (NOTE:  This purposeful “squeezing UP” is NOT to be confused with the natural reaction of the PC muscles to squeeze IN / vice-grip on their own, called the “clitoral cuff,” toward the entrance of the vagina as the vagina expands at the top during arousal and near orgasm.)

Women have lost our wymyn circles.  In wymyn circles, we used to share these kinds of stories and experiences amongst each other.  For instance, belly dancing, now a highly sexualized form of stripper / hooker / tease, is actually based in teaching teenage girls how to move their bodies during childbirth (and such movements’ obvious use in sexual / sensual settings with a partner). Hence the reason it’s CALLED Belly Dancing — you have to HAVE a belly to do it properly!

It annoys me to no end to hear women say they “can’t do belly dancing” because they don’t have a 6-pack.  I quickly and, in no uncertain terms, explain that no woman with a 6-pack is geared for belly dancing because she doesn’t HAVE a belly.  It is the breast-obsessed American perspective that has shifted the emphasis of belly dancing to breast-shaking.  Belly dancing is an ART.  And that “belly” isn’t just curvy flesh — there is extremely toned muscle underneath that has been trained to operate and shimmy in minute precision.

The “belly” comes from body fat as well as carrying a child.  (NOTE to all: Women are SUPPOSED to have body fat!)  The hip rolls, arches, hip drops, and other hip isolations are to stretch through the hip joints in preparation for the spreading of the hip joints beginning in the third trimester, as well as exercising the lower abs no one ever talks about.  The rib isolations are NOT just to have the breasts go up and down for men’s ogling pleasure — they are to learn how to move your upper torso so you can still breathe when the kid inside is pushing your thoracic diaphragm up into your lung space. Abdominal and back rolls also help the body get used to involuntary movements during childbirth contractions.

If more women had a connection to our traditional women’s circles and sacred women knowledge, we wouldn’t need sex toys OR books.  We would have elders to teach us and show us, passing the knowledge from one generation to the other.  But until we officially shake off the mortal coil of western patriarchy and institutionalized religion that has made the female body sinful and sex evil, we have to get the knowledge somewhere and learn how to access these innate feelings somehow.  So I am grateful for toys, books, CD’s, men who try so hard to understand us, and the women who are on the path of experimenting and experiencing what we are truly capable of sexually.

Aroused and journaling,
trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman


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