Awakening Sexuality & Activism for Women's Rights

Posts tagged “orgasm

ArousedWoman Wishes You a Happy New Year’s Eve & Here’s to 2014!


ArousedWoman Radio with Trish Causey - 2013Hey, everybody!

I want to wish everyone an amazing New Year Eve’s and fabulous start to 2014.

2013 has been a roller-coaster year of activism for me and ArousedWoman, but we made it through.  I started AW Radio and “met” lots of listeners and followers.  I absolutely LOVE doing AW Radio.  And in 2014, I’ll start a more “official” format of my advice and activism for women’s issues and sexual health with the launch of AW Magazine, a digital delivery mag.

So this is an end of the year appeal to you and everyone you know who supports the kind of open talk that ArousedWoman exemplifies!

In fact, anyone who makes a $50 donation or more will get a complimentary copy of the brand new digital AW Magazine in February 2014.  AW Mag will be filled with articles on health, fitness, recipes, as well as our favorite blissful topic (you know what I’m talking about!). :-)

Donate by midnight December 31, 2013, and your donation will be tax-deductible for the 2013 year.

And please SHARE this info on all your social media.

Thanks so much! And here’s to the return of AW Radio and the launch of AW Magazine!

trish

P.S. Do NOT drink and drive tonight. Call a cab or a friend.


AskTrish: Woman Asks If Uncomfortable Feeling When Boyfriend Touches Clit is Normal


Woman's Hand on YoniHi, trish,

I was wondering, what is it supposed to feel like when somebody touches your clit?  I have heard it’s supposed to bring a good feeling but not in my case.  When my boyfriend touches my clit, I get a really intense kinda uncomfortable feeling.   It doesn’t feel bad or hurt but it definitely doesn’t feel good either.  And it’s not something I look forward to.   My bf always wants to touch it but even if I let him, I stop him after a couple secs cuz it feels intense and uncomfortable.  Is this normal?

Anon

Hey, Anon!

So much to address here!

Let me assure you that pain or discomfort is never “normal” for any kind of sex ever.  No kind of sex (vaginal or anal) or touch or penetration should EVER be painful.  EVER.  (Okay, that wasn’t exactly your question, but I just want to reiterate that for the readers.)  What is “normal” touch sensation for you will be different for someone else, so my “normal” will be different from yours.  My “normal” now that I’m extremely in touch with my body will be very different from the “normal” that is “normal” for a female just starting to explore her body.  So without knowing your age (18+), your sexual experience, any previous trauma, how you touch yourself, and how he specifically touches you, there’s no way I can guess what would be “normal” for you.  But I can say that not-quite-pain, not-quite-pleasure feeling is common at first.  So let’s look at this bit by bit.

Vulva - Erect Clit ExposedThe external clitoris is literally the tip of the iceberg!  Most of the clitoris is inside the body, with several inches of innervated erectile tissue that expands and zings with sensation during arousal.  Those inches of erectile tissue that men have hanging outside their body, a.k.a. the penis, is synonymous with the inches of erectile tissue women have; ours is just inside us.

The tip of the clit, that little nub we can see, is technically called the glans, just like the tip of the penis is called the glans.  The tip of the clit is usually protected by the clitoral hood, which is synonymous with the penile foreskin.  With around 8,000 nerve endings, the clitoral glans is VERY sensitive to touch.  In fact, if you can see the tip, the clit is actually in the non-erect state; but that doesn’t mean she’s not enjoying herself — she probably is!  Nearing climax, the clit will seem to “disappear” into the fleshy folds of the vulva; but she’s not retreating from touch, she’s actually getting a full erection on!  This is usually when “vigorous” touch can be exquisite.

DailyOJ 01-20-12: The Clit Discussed Further

Female Anatomy: Clitoris Frontal ViewThe clitoral body can be stimulated externally by (gently) pressing on the mons pubis area or internally via various fingering and stroking techniques inside the vagina.  (Reminder:  the female prostate is on the anterior wall of the vagina and is a different anatomical structure.)  When a woman is nearing climax, there is often a “vice grip” clench at the opening of the vagina; these are the clitoris’ vestibular bulbs near the entrance.  The clit is actually quite extensive and complex, comprised of 18 distinct parts.  Your clit is MUCH MORE than just the nub on the outside!

But let’s remember, those are 8,000 plugged-in nerve endings.  Touching them before they are ready to receive pleasure input can feel awkward or even painful.  Since you sound like a young adult, I’m going to assume your boyfriend is the overly eager type who just wants to start pawing at your body (perhaps because that’s what he’s seen in porn, or he may be new to all this as well).  This is NEVER okay.  The man NEVER touches you anywhere unless YOU are ready to be touched.  You’ll know when your clit is begging to be touched, and if he doesn’t touch you properly or is clumsy, you have the right to tell him how to touch you.  It sounds like you are willing to stand up for yourself, and that is great!  You have complete autonomy over your body.

Here’s were I have to interject yet another consequence of circumcision.  If your man is circumcised, he may be accustomed to needing “rough” stimulation due to keratinization (callousing of skin) on his penis glans.  If your man is not circumcised, explain to him that touching your clit with little or no prior arousal is like someone yanking his foreskin back and going straight for the underside of his penis glans.  This can be very uncomfortable for the intact man!  No one likes too much sensation too soon, which is what it sounds like you’re experiencing from your boyfriend.

Nude Couple Embracing Passionately in PeachKeep in mind, there is a reason the female needs to be fully aroused before going for the clit or the vagina.  From a Tantra perspective, the woman and the man have positive and negative poles, like on a magnet.  For the woman, the positive pole is the heart chakra, home to her heart and her breasts, with the negative pole being the genitals.  For the man, the positive pole is his root/sex chakra, home to his penis and testicles, with the negative pole being his heart chakra.  Biologically, the woman needs 15 to 30 minutes of dedicated arousal, or as I like to call it — puja (worship :-) ) to prepare the vagina for sex.  The same way a singer has to warm up before performing, think of this time as necessary preparation — fun, delicious preparation for continued, evolving, expanding, rapturous ecstasy.   Therefore, this time allows the woman’s body, especially the genitals, to become ready to receive touch and penetration and pleasure.  It’s no coincidence that focus on the woman’s heart chakra would be key.  Not only does it stimulate the woman emotionally, but a woman’s nipples are wired directly to her clit.  Breast puja = a turned on, horny clit.  Any man who doesn’t want to commit 15 minutes of breast/sensual touch puja isn’t worth your time.

This 15 minute warm-up doesn’t have to be solely focused on the breasts.  Any sensual touch and massage will awaken the subtle body.  This includes kissing, nibbling, caressing, talking, laughing.  Once the woman is ready for more direct touch, the woman can allow the man to begin with touch and kisses on the insides of her thighs, the outer labia, the mons pubis — basically, loving all the way around the clit until you are ready for more.  As you become more experienced and more familiar with your body’s responses, you may not need this much time.  In fact, when you are able to stay in an aroused state — recognize that orgasm is an energy field you can slip into any time you want, you may not need much prep touching at all.  Just thinking of your man will send your spine arching back into orgasm and your clit throbbing for touch!  (In time, you’ll learn how to control this response when you’re in public, like shopping at the grocery story or the library. :-D )

Keep in mind, physical climax is different from energy orgasms.  Men often confuse ejaculation (climax) with orgasm.  These are two separate functions: ejaculation is a physical reflex of the sympathetic nervous system, while orgasm is a response via the parasympathetic nervous system.  Since men need less time to get aroused and ready for penetration, they tend to focus on the end, rather than enjoying the journey.  (Another horrible legacy of standard porn, too.)  Just like for the woman, this arousal time is also a time of breathing and relaxing for the man.  When your mind and/or body is stressed, pleasure can be elusive.  Take your time to get warmed up and totally invested in your body’s journey to pleasure.  There is plenty of time to get hot and heavy — once you’re BOTH aroused to the point of a crazed fuck-for-all.

Note:  This initial phase of arousal is usually called “foreplay”, a term I despise since it places the importance of the sexual experience on “sex” which is usually defined by the penetration, i.e., when the penis enters the vagina.  This devalues the woman and the woman’s biological needs of arousal in order to accept a penis (or toy) without pain.  So I do not use the term foreplay.  Puja is my personal preference.  Puja, the idea of honoring the person and their body, also puts respect back into the sensual, sexual experience, in my opinion.

You should know, Anon, that it takes time to get to know your clit and the rest of your sexual anatomy.  And you should spend a lot of time with her — just you and her.  This way you get to know how she likes to be touched, without the pressure of a panting, horny Lothario rushing you and making you feel uncomfortable or not “normal”.  Masturbation is a beautiful way to honor yourself (self-puja) and learn about yourself and your body.  Through masturbation, she won’t feel so foreign to you, and you will begin to integrate her into your body and your overall sexual being-ness.

After you are more familiar with your body, show your boyfriend how you like to be touched.  Masturbate in front of him, but he can’t help you — he needs to watch and learn.  (He can help later on.)  More often than not, a lighter, gentler touch is needed at first.  In fact, once your body is awakened, you might even have labia-gasms and sheet-gasms.  Hard touch is usually ONLY desired at the absolute height of passion and usually NEVER at the beginning of a love-making session.  When your clit is really ready, you’ll know because you’ll start looking for things to hump.  If you start eyeing the arm of the sofa with lust, that’s usually a good sign your clit needs some determined lovin’.

Recap of what we covered:

1 – Learn your clit’s likes and dislikes via masturbation; then when you’re ready, it’s show-and-tell time to teach your man.

2 – Female and male sexual anatomy are synonymous, for the most part.  Some things are similar to both the woman and the man, so teaching the man about the woman’s anatomy will help him understand how your body responds.

3 – Prior arousal is required for pleasure.  As you become more experienced, you may not need as much prep-time, but for now, insist on at least 15 minutes of sensual touch on other parts of your body to get your clit primed for touch.

4 – To learn various touch techniques for the clit, look through some of the videos and info here where the clit rules and men are glad to offer puja to a woman’s body (or willingly lie back and let the woman drive the orgasm train).

Feel free to leave a comment, especially if you want to offer more info so we can be more specific.

Thanks so much for trusting me with your clit. :-)

trish


Review: “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure” – A How-To Video for Women to Enjoy Giving Head


Oral Sex for Her Video Training FellatioI recently saw the initial release of a new how-to video series, “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure”.  I would have assumed that such a women-centric company like OneTaste would have created a cunnilingus how-to, but they have done the unexpected by creating a video that explains how a woman can receive pleasure from giving a man fellatio.  I can heartily recommend this video to any man or woman who wants to learn a little more about how women can truly enjoy giving oral sex.

Now, this is certainly not news to me — I orgasm just thinking about giving a man head.  Spontaneous orgasms just hit.  I love the feel of my mouth being full with a man’s penis.  The taste, the smell, the texture.  I absolutely love it.  And the truth is, when a woman gives great head, she owns the man.  Seriously.

Whenever I give a man oral sex, I always tell him emphatically, “Lay back.  This is for me.  If you enjoy it, that’s a side benefit.”  I have always loved giving fellatio, or as I call it lingam puja (penis worship).  Even in the midst of a miserable marriage, I still loved giving oral sex.  I figured out that giving him a blow job once per week meant he didn’t complain about bills.  And while I loathe the term “blow job”, that time of my life is the only time oral sex felt like a job — a chore, and yet I still loved the act of fellatio itself, even though I detested the man attached to the penis.

The concept behind the “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure” video and corresponding training materials hinges on the fact that women can indeed enjoy giving men oral sex.  If she doesn’t want to do oral sex or has a negative perspective due to bad experiences, then she might want to see how much pleasure she can have from it.  The first step in a woman receiving pleasure while giving head is realizing that the woman has to want to give head.

Now, before you cry, “That’s male bullshit!”, I understand if you haven’t always (or ever) enjoyed oral sex.  Cultural and religious demonization of sexuality, women, women’s bodies, and women’s sexual pleasure have brainwashed society for over 1,700 years, since the rise of imperial patriarchal religion crushed the remaining woman-centic goddess cultures.  Women have absorbed this anti-sex and anti-pleasure propaganda, compounded by bullying about how women smell “down there”, and the ludicrous farce of how women are portrayed in most porn.  Erotica is woman-centric and respectful of women.  And we are a new generation of women who love ourselves and love sexuality without shame or apology!

Some things you will LOVE about this how-to video:

  • It’s only $8.
  • The woman is not a size 2.
  • Her breasts are real.
  • The man is UNcircumcised!!!  Yes, a real, natural, intact penis!!!  Woo-hoo!!!

In fact, she almost apologizes that, at the beginning, his penis is soft.  So allow me to say for once and for-fucking-all — the SOFT penis is a marvelous thing!  In Tantra, we have several nifty positions and activities for the soft penis, including soft entry penetration (yes, the man enters the vagina with a soft penis) and lingam massage, which is best done with a soft penis to help direct energy flow up into the torso, arms, and legs, rather than out the tip of the penis (helps with ejac control, too).  So starting an oral session with a soft penis is fantastic because you get to experience how his body feels as the penis changes in size and hardness.  (You control him.)

Back to the video….  She talks about her experience in learning to love oral sex.  She also tells the good, bad, and ugly of what intense oral sex does for the woman, including the “furrowed brow” which is a tale-tell sign a woman is in orgasm, the deep-throating technique, as well as the steady stream of “snot” from her nose and the “spot” in the woman’s mouth that triggers orgasms throughout her body.  Yes, you will absolutely see the “snot” running out of her nose.  Yes, you see her crying several times from the intensity of the orgasms.  I’ve written plenty of times here about how the more gut-wrenching my crying is directly equates to the intensity of my orgasm(s).  Crying is an integral part of my orgasmic experience, so it’s great to hear other women talking about this topic as well.

As for the “snot”, I would like to clarify that she is not referring to the thick, gross “snot” of a sinus infection, but rather the normal sinus muscosa you have draining down the back of your throat 24/7.  This mucosa is a necessary moisturizing lubricant for the back of the pharynx (very back of the mouth, top of the throat).  In fact, when you don’t have this normal nasal drip, you may experience a dry cough or have clogged sinuses.  So this mucosa is what she has dripping from her nose — but that’s okay!  Vaginal fluids are also a type of mucosa (derived from the plasma from the blood in the vaginal walls’ muscular tissue), and men LOVE lapping it up!  So let the snot run!  After all, when your mouth is full of penis, the only way the snot can go is out your nose (or your ear, but that would take a miracle of physics).

Another thing you’re likely to notice in her technique is that she is actually quite still — remember me talking about slow sex?  In Tantra, there is a technique of motionless sex — yes, motionless!  The oral technique as shown in the video will help any woman out there who’s gotten whiplash bobbing her head up and down while giving a blow job.  (Again, most porn is ridiculous).  If you want to learn some groovy info and techniques, watch this how-to.

I can definitely recommend this affordable $8 video that can introduce you to the amazing world of women’s pleasure as instructed in “Oral Sex for Her Pleasure”.  I give my full approval of the information in this video and all the products they have.  THEY LOVE WOMEN!  And when you’ve seen it, come back here, and leave a comment telling me what YOU think of the video!

trish


DailyOJ 08-25-13, Part 1: Overcoming Stress to Enjoy Orgasm Again


Nude Woman - Full-figured Curves (peach)For regular readers, you’ll recall that I took a break back in March while my personal life got sorted out and I finally became a free woman.  I took another, sudden departure from writing here at AW Blog in July because I suddenly got laid off from my main writing job on July 2nd.  For lack of a better term, this unexpected loss of income sent me into a stress-filled panic that is still bubbling under the surface, but I’m handling it better now.

I am a single mom, and over the past year and a half, I have really begun to rely on that sole income to keep us going while I built my little activist empire here at ArousedWoman.  I stopped doing my other radio show (on Musical Theatre) to focus on my activism here, and I felt that was the right choice at the time.  But with my income suddenly gone, I had to stop this work here and literally fling myself back into Musical Theatre to salvage what I could of my career there — I had intended to go back to Musical Theatre, of course, just not so soon.

In the process of trying to figure out how the heck I’m going to earn a paycheck, my orgasm practice had slipped by the wayside.  With it being summertime, I was not home by myself at all — except for the rare weekend (2 weekends out of the whole summer).  And with the constant stress of finding work as a writer and/or web designer, my mind wasn’t really in to going further with my practice.  I felt… like I was sinking and had nowhere to go but further into uncertainty.

The few times I actually tried a hands-on session, the results were okay but not my usual stellar experience.  The couple of times I was all alone and could bring out the toys (my newest glass as well as my beloved cyberskin god), the “practice” felt more like work, i.e., I was “trying” for a specific experience not allowing it to happen.  Worse, the end result was a lackluster orgasm that had no emotion at all.  It reminded me of my orgasms before my awakening — just physical, no connection to my self, my body, my subtle body, my heart, the universe — nothing.  The experience was mechanical and while, yes, there was an orgasm, it was ultimately not satisfactory to me — not after what I’ve experienced in the past 3 years of sexual awakening.

What really pissed me off about the whole situation (aside from losing my income) is that my prostate had begun a new round of awakening the last few days of June!  With the shock that happened July 2nd, I really didn’t get to enjoy the new levels of where she was wanting to go this time!

Not only did I not practice, but I didn’t want to practice.  I felt a huge “What for?”  “Why bother?”  “Who cares?”

I cared, but as I threw my idea (from last year) to create Musical Theatre Magazine into overdrive, I had other things to take care of.  I got one web design job, and I’ve started doing some writing and copy-editing for an engineer, but I need more.  I’m trying to find work and stay sane while doing this blog, my other radio show, my new magazine, and keep a roof over our heads at the same time.  (Shameless plug –> If you can make a donation to AW Blog & Radio, it’s tax-deductible for you!)

Anyhoo… Something in the past few weeks has been able to shift my outlook.  Perhaps it was getting back into my Musical Theatre passions.  Y’all know I’m a musical nerd, right?… Right?!… The unmitigated joy I have when I’m elbow-deep in Musical Theatre must have been the panacea I needed.

Simply put, I didn’t realize it at the time, but the stress over my finances had affected my orgasms.  This in turn was affecting so many other things.  To me, orgasms are not a titillating, giggle-inducing topic or a source for water-cooler scuttlebutt that they may be for other people.  To me, orgasms are not the go-to tension reliever for falling asleep, as they are for a lot of people.  My orgasms are a journey for me — from a focused meditation, through arousal that is focused on loving and discovering my body, to the transcendent experience of climax that is a connection with my core self and the universe.

For the first time in a long time, I did not feel whole.  In fact, I felt broken.

Looking back, I should have remembered this story, but I was too preoccupied with basic survival.  However, as I delved into my passion for all things Broadway and waka-waka-jazz-hands, I was lifted out of the panic that had begun to consume me.  Though the magazine has certainly put a different kind of stress on me, it is a labor of love, not just meaningless labor.

Having the house to myself during the day, I resumed my official practice using my new meditation track I composed (that will be available on Amazon soon).  Doing my new practice as I’ve designed it along with my music opened the doorway that had been slammed shut by stress.

And then, to my great surprise, my practice offered me a beautiful experience this morning….

Read Part 2!

trish


RADIO: Trish Causey Hosts a LIVE AskTrish Show on Female Sexuality


Nude Woman Beneath Orange Chiffon Sheer OrganzaTonight on ArousedWoman Radio with Trish Causey, I tackle the subject that is the source of my awakening and the raison d’etre for ArousedWoman(TM) — Female Sexuality!

TUNE IN at 9:00 p.m. ET to hear Trish Causey Hosts a LIVE AskTrish Show on Female Sexuality.

Just a few of my topics tonight:

  • A few readers’ comments and questions submitted via my AskTrish page
  • The perception of women’s sexuality in society and religion
  • Why women’s bodies are still considered overtly sexual and not plain ol’ human
  • Double standards in TV and media between men’s bodies and women’s bodies
  • FEMALE MASTURBATION!!!!!!!!!!
  • What women want from sex, and HOW we want our sex!

Listeners can CALL IN with your questions or comments by dialing (347) 884-8792 or calling in to the show via Skype — click the BLUE SKYPE ICON on AW Radio’s LIVE page.  You can also post questions and comments in AW Radio’s LIVE page chat room (opens 10 minutes before the start of the show).

I’m really looking forward to this one! :-)

trish

Recommended Books:


RADIO: ArousedWoman Radio with Trish Causey Premieres Tonight


ArousedWoman Radio with Trish Causey - 2013Finally! The radio show I’ve been wanting to do for more than a year is coming to fruition tonight!

A not so subtle mix of politics, sex, and showtunes, ArousedWoman Radio with Trish Causey will feature all sorts of topics that pique my interest, and I hope you’ll tune in.

Tonight’s Premiere Broadcast is a LIVE version of my AskTrish series, and listeners can call in with a question or type it up in the online chat room.  We can talk about anything that pertains to whatever interests you!

To listen to the LIVE show, go to ArousedWoman Radio’s page on BlogTalkRadio.  When the show is live, you will see the chat room where you can type questions, make comments, or just say, “Howdy!”

To call in to say Hi or ask a question or pose a thought-provoking comment, just dial 347-884-8792.  That’s a long distance call, and charges/minutes usage may apply.

To hear the replay, just come back here to see the player in action.

I hope to hear from ALL of you tonight!  Show is LIVE at 9 p.m. ET — that’s 8 p.m. CT, 6 p.m. PT.

trish


Take #ArousedWoman’s Orgasm Questionnaire!


Chakra-aura-orgasm-energy-systemHey, everybody!

As I look ahead to my online orgasm training workshop, I am conducting an Orgasm Questionnaire and would love to have as many readers participate as possible!

This questionnaire should take about 30 minutes to fill out, and there are no wrong answers. It’s also pretty nosy, so brace yourself!

Filling out this questionnaire in NO WAY obligates you to participate in the workshop. But the questions are geared to those who would be interested in taking my online orgasm workshop this summer.

No part of the questionnaire will be published without your express permission. However, some of the responses may be used ANONYMOUSLY in a post here on ArousedWomanBlog.com, based on the statistical information that may be of use to my readers.

NOTE: Some of these responses are required, so look carefully at each question. (I hope you’ll answer each one!)

I appreciate you taking this Orgasm Questionnaire so I can better understand my readers’ sex lives and orgasm habits.

Thanks!

trish

ArousedWoman’s Orgasm Questionnaire:
© 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

ANSWER EVERY QUESTION EVEN IF IT ISN’T FOR YOUR GENDER, or if it DOESN’T APPLY just put N/A. The form will NOT submit if a question is not answered (blame WordPress).





























































OpEd: The Activist’s Guide to Putting Aside Our Differences to Fight for Our Differences


Tree of Life - As Above, So BelowA while back, a friend made the comment that she had seen my Facebook status, and it made her think about that particular issue I’d brought up, saying, “You have so many causes, I can’t keep up.”

Wrong.  I have ONE cause — Human Rights.  All other rights issues stem from this central trunk of the rights and issues’ family tree.  Women’s rights, LGBT, genital integrity, workers’ rights, children’s rights, and more — ALL are branches of the primary concept that roots us in our basic right to self-determination, autonomy, and our humanity.

Today provided a perfect example of how different experiences color our activism.  Usually, this is a good thing, but occasionally, our pain from our own experiences clouds our words, resulting in our message devolving into a war of emotion.  It becomes a contest of “my pain is greater than your pain”  — a competition no one wins.

My morning started with me checking my Facebook and Twitter while I made breakfast as I hurried my daughter to get up, get ready for school, and catch the bus.

I try not to spend all day on Twitter, but tomorrow’s Full Moon seems to have kicked up people’s crazy cycles a day early.

First, on Facebook, I responded to a friend’s comment about his neighbors’ loud sex last night.  As the conversation progressed to sex positions (okay, I brought it up), I mentioned that the reason the original missionary position is the only position ever condoned by the Catholic church was because it provides the least pleasure for the woman.  It puts the man in the superior, stronger, aggressive position while the woman is inferior, at the mercy of the man, and passive and submissive.  Another chick chimed in saying some women “love to be ‘conquered.’”  As a woman who has spent most of my life fighting NOT to be conquered by men, I disagreed, but I did not linger since I had to get some real work done.

I spent a couple hours working my day-job (Thursdays are a day-off for me), and what followed was an entire day on social media in one activist role or another.  And I have preserved some of those exchanges in the photo gallery below. (To view them at full size, click the box on the lower right of your screen.)

The second round of today’s activism started out simple enough — me talking about orgasms, specifically, mine, and how I cry when I orgasm.  I followed that with a comment that men crying during orgasm is perfectly natural.  Twitter being a public forum, a random guy jumped in the convo with a rude comment ridiculing how it would look with a “he man blowing his load and crying.”  This began a series of tweets back and forth as I tried to explain that a man crying during orgasm is perfectly natural.  After all, men are human beings, and human beings have feelings.

Apparently, men are still not allowed to be full human beings in our society.

The third and most exasperating exchange occurred with a man who, it turns out, is also an activist — an intactivist, to be precise.  An intactivist is someone who fights for ending all circumcision — on males and females — because genital mutilation is a human rights violation of a child’s bodily autonomy and is sexual assault on the child.  This guy had tweeted the following comment:

“The sexual urges of women in our society are more important than the pain of a baby boy.”

After a morning of hearing that some women want to be conquered, men who cry are not masculine, and a few other ridiculous notions that are proof positive our society is still sexually repressed and almost entirely mentally unbalanced, I could not sit by and let this tweet go without standing up for women’s right to be sexual and not be shamed for it.  Did I do it the right way?  Could I have handled myself better?  Should I have called him a moron so many times?  Maybe.  Maybe not.

The thought I had toward the end of this Twitter war (that lasted over a couple hours) is that this guy is reacting and projecting because of his own pain with his circumcision.  Just as I possibly was too harsh in earlier altercations today. 

Hearing a woman wants to be conquered made me think back to when I was molested as a kid, my rape when I was 21, and my Steubenville-esque experience.  Talking about the horribly unsatisfactory missionary position brought to mind my own status as one of the 70% of women who has never orgasmed during sex — a statistic for which I still feel shame for myself and anger at my partners for not caring enough about me to ensure I had pleasure, too.  It reignited my distaste for the porn industry that created a caricature of women as hyper-orgasmic nymphomaniac slut-bunnies — as opposed to erotica that presents sex and sexuality in a beautiful, honorable way.

I was reminded yet again of the hundreds of thousands — if not millions — of women who have been raped, tortured, killed outright, and burned at the stake by the Christian church who has feared women’s sexual power since Peter stole the church’s high seat from Mary Magdalene.  As a pagan witch doing research for my stage writings, I spent years reading witch trial transcripts, scouring historical documents of witch hunters, Inquisitors, and missionaries in Europe and in colonial America who were obsessed with exorcising the natural sexuality of women.  This does not include the women who were beaten, raped, and killed for wanting the right to vote, or the right to fight alongside men in the modern military.  Too many thoughts and memories swarmed in my mind.

Hearing that a man can’t cry when he experiences pleasure infuriated me because so much of our patriarchal, imperial, testosterone-driven culture still carries the gender-role prejudices of religion and hierarchical misogyny and misandry that does a disservice to women and men.

Today’s activism was about shame.  And pain.  And how, even when we mean well, speaking up for one issue cannot happen at the expense of demeaning other people who are probably also in pain.  After all, the oppressive culture that says mutilating a child’s genitals is okay is the same repressive culture that says a woman is to blame for her rape because of how she was dressed, or two people cannot love each other because they’re the same gender.

I’ve been a grassroots activist for 27 years, and I’ve seen in-fighting in every single rights group I’ve ever worked with — religious rights, American Indian rights, LGBT rights, women’s rights.  Who’s a real witch?  Who’s a real Indian?  Bisexuals aren’t really discriminated against.  Women don’t need full body autonomy or equal pay.  Conservative Democrats aren’t real Democrats. And it’s all bullshit.

My motto has always been, “Human Rights are non-negotiable.”

I love that there are so many of us, each working in a niche that is important to us.  Yet, that does not mean one corner of activism outweighs another.  We can’t all work for all causes at all times.  We have to split up into different groups to cover all the bases.  Remember that equality does not mean we are the same, but rather, though we may be different, we are of the same value as human beings.  Our human rights family tree is rooted in and celebrates our differences, with roots deep in the soil of our humanity, echoing the ancient axiom, “As above, so below.”

However, if you only care about one group who is hurt or exploited and not another, then you’re not working for rights issues, you’re a special interest asshat who is no better than the elitist oppressors who mock human rights activism while making fortunes off the masses’ suffering.

So I may not know the full extent of pain that another person has experienced, just as they won’t know the full extent of mine.  But we can try to listen better.  We can forgo the pain-game and stick to the work at hand.  Don’t allow the oppressors’ need to stuff us into boxes and categories or divide us into opposing sides hinder our work of coming together and doing the work.

We are better than that. Do the work.  Be the Change.

We Are All Connected.

trish

 

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DailyOJ 03-01-13, Part 1: Introducing My Newest Toy to My Inner Sanctum


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

yoni-vulva-labia-iris-flower-peachRecently, I wrote a mild-mannered review of one of my newest additions to my orgasm accoutrements, the Adam PleasureSkin Cock.  I tried to keep the review on point, but I wanted to elaborate a bit here.  I’ve now used this toy 4 times, so I can adequately recommend this guy with some hindsight and careful considerations — though, I still whole-heartedly recommend this toy for those who are experienced large toy/large penis aficionados.

The toy, which I’ll just call “Bob,” is made of “PleasureSkin” and has an insertible length of 6.5″ and a width of 2″.

I was concerned that 6.5″ would not seem like that much as the shortest real penis I’ve ever had was 8″.  Noting that in the Amazon reviews, a few women (and a couple men) mentioned how long it took to get the thing in, I definitely went slowly and used more than my usual amount of lube.  I also spent extra time beforehand on yoni massage to warm up the skin around my vagina’s opening since a large penis can stretch the flesh uncomfortably (read:  excruciating pain!).

The conical head slid in part way, then stopped.  I brought him out, then tried again, giving an extra little push.  There was slight pain — more like a stinging sensation — at the anterior wall where my prostate is.  My first thought was, “I’m surprised the pain isn’t at the fourchette (the “bottom” of the vaginal opening), so I must have done enough yoni massage — good.”  My next thought was, “Anything that upsets my prostate gets thrown in the dumpster.”

It took 3 very slow tries to get the head in, each time stinging.  Once the head was in, the shaft did not have the same effect on my prostate, so I proceeded.  I made the mental note that a prostate-based orgasm before using this guy might not be ideal since my prostate swells with fluid and the tendrils of the prostate “poke through” into the vagina during arousal.  (That feels much better than it sounds!)

Once in, I was taken aback by just how full I felt.  Like other reviewers, I thought the sheer width of this thing had issued me a challenge, and I was determined to win.  It took a good 10 minutes of repeatedly slow, methodical entry and withdrawal for me to get this thing even a few inches in.  And even after using “Bob” 4 times now, I haven’t gotten him more than about 4.5″ inside.  (Yes, I felt like less of a woman because I couldn’t take any more of him in.  I must have more issues to deal with.  Dammit.)

The width is absolutely delicious.  In fact, just thinking about how this thing feels inside…. I… I………. I……… OH MY FUCKING GOD, YES!  This is the most wonderful-feeling toy I have ever tried!!!  Even more than the feeling of the toy inside was the feeling of the toy between my fingers of my right hand as I slid him in and out with my left hand.  This toy absolutely feels like a real penis to the touch.  Even running my fingertips over the balls was so incredibly familiar, I began having a surreal moment in which I didn’t have to imagine a man in my man’s eye, this thing made the man come to life in my body and my mind.  To say nothing of the sensation of the balls against my butt… delicious!

I moved my hand over my clit, and she was swollen like I’ve never felt her — my entire mons pubis seemed more swollen than ever before.  With my hand on top of my mons, I could actually feel the different parts of the toy as he slid in and out — especially on the out.  Bringing him all the way out with a little “pop” sound, my clit and mons pubis felt the same as when they’re normally aroused.  Once he was back in, she was so swollen again, I was amazed on how full she felt from the outside.  I tried to focus on both feelings at once — my full clit and the gentle push past my labia as he re-entered… I couldn’t focus on both.  It felt too good to focus on any one thing, actually.

The first time I used him, I experienced a huge climax.  I was left emotional, crying, panting, writhing, back arching, legs kicking out, until another round of orgasms hit, and I was moaning all over again.  Finally, I couldn’t maneuver this thing anymore, and my hands went up over my head, and more emotion, more crying, breathless panting, and uncontrollable writhing.  Then began the after-O’s, a series of progressively smaller orgasms that usually last about a half hour that eventually taper off to simple hip movements and glutes clenching, until even that subsides, and I’m in a type of vertigo bliss.

The second time I used this guy, I made the mistake of changing my hand position in the middle of the hard thrusting — instead of just holding it, I tried an over-hand hold to lessen the weight on my wrist.  Big mistake.  Changing technique in the middle usually spells disaster for arousal, and sure enough, I felt the instant drain of sensation as my nerve receptors switched gears.  It took a couple minutes holding it the regular way to get back to that level of arousal and then finish. I made the mental note not to make that mistake of changing in mid-stream again.  The climax was fantastic, though.

The third time I used Bob, I spent over 15 minutes just moving him in and out very, very slowly.  I cannot describe how sublime this felt.  (I don’t think most men appreciate the slow approach or slow sex, which is a darn shame.  This was heavenly.)  My inner labia grew even more sensitive to the feel of him as I progressed, until the nerve endings in my labia were all lit up, giving extra sensation to the motion.  But he was getting heavy in my hand, and I knew I wanted to finish fast and hard.  I almost hated speeding up because I could have stayed in that “neutral” zone for hours, however the bliss was electric and emotionally stirring.

The fourth time with him was a mixed experience… and completely unexpected…

* Read Part 2. *

trish

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Tantra: Out With the Old, In With the Older


Copyright 2013 by Trish Causey. All Rights Reserved.

Shri_Yantra_Tantra_MeditationThose of you who have followed my orgasm journal have read about my path to becoming a multi-orgasmic and spontaneously orgasmic woman.  I’ve experienced all sorts of -gasms from multiple orgasms, heart-gasms, leg-gasms, nipple-gasms, urination-gasms, labia-gasms — you name it, my body has -gasmed there.

I embarked on this journey as a means of healing from sexual abuse as a child, rape as an adult, and a miserable marriage.  I just wanted to be able to feel sensation in my clit again after doing damage from vibrators — and to be able to orgasm during sex, a seemingly impossible feat I never accomplished with a partner.  Since starting this path via research, trial and error, and a few different “methods,” I have experienced orgasms, emotions, and awakenings physically and emotionally that I never dreamed were possible.  Along the way, I’ve made mistakes and had revelations, and it has all been one big learning experience.

I had begun a practice about a year ago that is essentially breathing, sound, and touch — supposedly, a protocol “discovered” by accident.  I now feel that this is inaccurate, since combining breathing, sound, and touch is an ancient practice to awaken the subtle body, to trigger the energy fields of the meridians, and to rewire the parasympathetic nervous system.

After all, orgasm is both a physical event and an energy event.  Different systems are activated to bring about each kind of orgasm.

In documenting my journey, I was able to go back and see what I did, when, the circumstances of my emotions at the time, any physical factors, as well as my experiences with the protocol itself, and how it affected me.  (THIS is why journaling is so important — not necessarily at the time of the experience, but it can be very important later.)  Looking back, I noticed that I did everything exactly opposite of what was given in the “protocol,” and when I tried to do it correctly, I hurt my voice or didn’t experience as much as when I did it “wrong.”  Mostly, though, when doing it “wrong,” I experienced huge leaps forward in my orgasmic journey, and I knew that I was doing a practice that was centuries old, a Tantric type of breathing meditation with sound that awakens the body, the mind, and even the spirit/consciousness self.

Incorporating sensual massage and my solo version of the OM clit technique took my orgasmic experiences to a new level.  Learning to love my breasts and starting to accept my body as she is has been healing in many ways, not the least of which has been the change in how I make love to myself.

Over the past year, as I began to sink a little too deep into Yin energy personally while expending inordinate amounts of Yang energy during the push to the 2012 POTUS election (combating GOP repressive crap), I experienced the sexual downward cycles that follow every sexual upsurge high.  I no longer craved manually stimulated orgasms or solo sex sessions.  I could do barely-there nipple stim or gentle clit and labia stim and have those orgasms and be perfectly happy.  I began to fear I was losing my sex drive.  Now, as I am again experiencing changes in my orgasms (that I will write up soon), I have left that other protocol behind and have begun firmly on a Tantric path.

I have started working with a Tantric teacher in Miami, and I am so very happy to be on this path.  The program takes a minimum of six years to complete, so it is definitely a commitment.  At this time, it feels right, and I hope to be able to complete it.  I can’t wait to see what I experience in six months, a year, five years from now by working with a real Tantric.  I know that sounds like forever to some of you, but in the past couple of years I’ve learned that it takes time to process and integrate the new awakenings of the subtle body with the physical body and the emotional and psychological aspects of our selves.

Tantra is a beautiful journey of awareness, transformation, and expansiveness, not the sex orgy touted by “gurus” and media for tabloid fodder… though sex is certainly improved by Tantra consciousness being present.

As Georg Feuerstein says in Tantra, The Path of Ecstasy:

“It is no accident that true Tantric practitioners are called “heroes” (vira), because they must navigate in treacherous waters that demand constant vigilance and great inner strength…. There are no shortcuts, and the quest for quick fixes and weekend enlightement is merely one of the symptoms of the kali-yuga, governed by delusion and greed.”

I think I will be blogging my experiences here, so stay tuned.

trish

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AskTrish: Man Confused As to Why I Love the Penis So Much


TeamUncut ForeskinFriday - Uncircumcised Man - Ginger - Gold Baroque FameDear Trish,

I cannot understand the appeal of what makes a man’s cock gorgeous in your eyes since I am not a woman nor gay. I am still trying to figure out why men and some women, are so hard wired to love breasts, large or not. The mind is an interesting organ.

Anonymous

Ohio

Dear Anonymous,

Cock?  No.  Penis, lingam?  Yes!  The penis is absolutely divine.  Lingam puja is a specialty of mine… or it was — back when I was sexually active…

There is just no describing that feeling of being full — being filled by a penis, stretched by the width, rubbed by the corona on the anterior wall (where the female prostate lives!!) — it’s just too amazing to put into words… or seeing how the penis changes under different touch, whether by fingers, lips, tongue, sliding my labia up and down the shaft, massaging the muscles of the shaft, following the raphe seam with my tongue, sucking the balls, seeing the pre-cum glistening as it oozes out, tonguing the swollen meatus that looks like tiny labia, dipping my tongue into the urethral opening… hearing a man moan because of it… the taste of sweet ejaculate… yum…

The penis is just an awesome toy to play with.  I really miss that…

Breasts are a whole other story… And especially for women, the mind is the most important sex organ.

trish

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AskTrish: Woman Married 15 Years Can Only Orgasm to Porn


nude-woman-artistic-female-formDear Trish,

I’ve been married for almost 15 years.  Before I got married, I used to have orgasms without a problem during intercourse, and I was very active and sexual woman.  Now, AFTER 15 years, we have sex like every three or four months and worse, without orgasms… well, once a year if I’m really lucky.  I only get an orgasm while watching porn and masturbating myself — so, I’m not anorgasmic — but it doesn’t happen while having sex with him.  Even when I’m aroused and really try to have an orgasm mental and physically, it just doesn’t happen.  I talked to him, but it’s not enough.

I LOOOVEEEE sex, I like sex, and even for a while I resigned myself to abstinence.  Well, I suppose that I am the problem, but I cannot find the solution.  I want to enjoy sex, and literally shout out myself for pleasure and orgasm during intercourse but well… here I am asking for help.   Love my husband and I wish I could surrender myself into his arms and enjoy and cry out for pleasure.  Any thoughts?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Right off the bat, I see at least three major things that need to be addressed, and hear me when I say, YOU are NOT the sole issue that needs help here.  It takes two to tango, and in a relationship, each partner is 100% responsible for participating in their 50% of the partnership.

The word relationship does not mean “suffer in silence,” as you seem to be doing — I know that’s how I felt in my miserable 15-year marriage with orgasmless sex.  (At least you like your guy!)  A relationship is supposed to be two (or more) people actively relating to each other.  I don’t see much relating at all here.  But let’s begin this conversation with you…

You didn’t tell me your age, so for round numbers, let’s say you’re 40 years old and got married at 25.  In your early 20′s then, you were a vibrant, happy, sexual, naturally orgasmic woman.  Fast forward 15 years, you’re experiencing issues with orgasm with a husband who is uninterested in “fixing” a relationship he apparently doesn’t view as being problematic.

From a physical standpoint, the body completely regenerates every cell in the body within about three years.  So you are literally not the same person you were then — your body has completely re-created itself 5 times since then.  Now, at “40,” your hormone levels are different, your blood chemistry is different, and this isn’t even considering if you take prescription medication on a regular basis that can upset your body’s chemical balance, or have unhealthy nutrition habits, too much alcohol or caffeine intake, etc.

My first recommendation to you is to get your bloodwork done and see what your hormone levels are — do you make enough testosterone?  Testosterone is required for women’s sexuality, believe it or not.  When we’re younger, we have plenty of it (without seeming masculine), but as we get older, women’s testosterone levels drop significantly.  This can be made worse if you have been taking products that give you extra estrogen, such as birth control, or eating unfermented soy products like soy milk, soy yogurt, or ingesting too many foods made with soy.  Also get your thyroid levels checked as the thyroid regulates hormone production in the body.

The second area I would address if I were you is the porn.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to watch beautiful, sensual erotica myself, but as with any item we start to “rely” on for orgasm, porn may now be a “crutch” for you.  I gave up vibrators when I could no longer have an orgasm without them — I literally had no feeling in my clit or labia, and I wasn’t even using a vibrator that often.  It took six months to be able to feel any sensation in my clit.  You may have gotten to the point where you’ve unconsciously talked yourself into reaching climax “only” when watching porn, so the orgasm is less about your sexual happiness and connection to your self and more about a psychosomatic reflex — “muscle memory” triggered by watching porn, if you will.

Go porn-less for a few months and get back in touch with your body.  Your body was naturally orgasmic.  Allow the muscles and nerves and your autonomic nervous system to re-learn what came so easily back then — awaken that “muscle” memory!  This will take time and will likely be very frustrating.  I invite you to read through my DailyOJ if you want a friend-in-frustration because I certainly understand.  I would recommend my “Allowing and Receiving post” any time you really feel the pull to give up the bodywork and go back to the porn.  Again, I’m not saying you should never watch erotica again, just take a break for a little while.  Or watch some erotica or scroll through my Tumblr to get the juices flowing, then turn it off when you start masturbating.  Relax into your body, focusing on your body’s wants and needs, not what you think your body “should” want or how it “should” act/react.  Read my post on “Lying Broken in Pieces As I Heal” to see this process from a different perspective.

The third issue here is the infrequency of the sexual relationship with your husband.  I am wondering, “What’s wrong with him that he doesn’t want to make love to a woman just starting her sexual prime?  What’s going on in his work?  His life outside the relationship — with him as a man?  What stresses does he experience with his job, deadlines, co-workers?  Does he have any addictions (food, caffeine, alcohol, other) that could be affecting him?  Does he have health issues that are affecting his emotions, blood circulation, sexual drive, and even his mental/psychological state?  Does he experience erectile dysfunction?  Is he not making enough testosterone at this point in his life?”  Yes, men make less testosterone as they get older as well.

As a man in his 40′s, let’s say, he may have been brought up in the last generation of boys who were taught to solve problems for themselves, don’t ask for help — that’s a sign of “weakness,” men have to have all the answers, be the leaders.  Men are still suffering from the strong-silent-type John Wayne persona they were forced to emulate all the while being fed the Renaissance Man/Prince stereotype who is supposed to sweep a woman off her feet, romance her endlessly, and the relationship bliss and passion just happen all the time by magic — as women have been brainwashed into believing thanks to “princess” animated movies, romance novels, and daytime soaps.

Orgasms can seem easy enough if you find the right sex position.  But the want has to really be there as well as a healthy mind and a healthy body.  It doesn’t sound to me like he wants to bridge the divide here.  Sex 4 times a year is not a true relating-ship, in my opinion, especially since you have tried to talk with him and he has not been receptive to communication.  There are deeper issues going on with him that he may not feel comfortable sharing… yet.

Getting back to you, though, I hope you’re not expecting him to “give” you orgasms or “make” you cum.  You are 100% responsible for your own orgasms during sex — or even solo.  I see you understand that orgasm is a mental process first for a woman.  After all the disappointment you’ve faced with this, your mental outlook may verge on the pessimistic side.  You have work to do, for sure, and you need to work on yourself and your self first.

Okay… I lied… there’s a fourth thing I want you to consider…

In this post on orgasms, I explain there are different types of orgasms: the physical reflex and the energetic response.  You can frig off for hours and never orgasm, much less climax.  Or you can rewire the body to the point where you just think the word “orgasm,” and you’re off into the La-La Land of Bliss.  Get back to your body, and rewire from the parasympathetic nervous system outward.  And remember, I’m working on an orgasm training method that teaches this very thing, so be sure to sign up for my newsletter.

I know, I know… Other peolpe are going to suggest you do all the work here — add the “romance” back in, wear some lingerie, light candles, cook him a nice dinner, give him a massage to loosen him up to get him in the mood.  This is all superficial bullshit.  Your relationship needs true communication re-building, and that begins with honest dialogue, not pretending the problems away.

To begin this journey of healing, begin with yourself.  To heal the relationship, you MUST sit him down, either just the two of you or with a counselor.  You cannot save the sex or the relationship by yourself.

I most heartfully wish you well in this.  And for more in-depth personalized advice, I also do consults via phone or Skype.

Take care,

trish

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Review: Adam’s PleasureSkin Cock Sex Toy by Adam & Eve


man-penis-standing-at-attention-300After searching high and low for a new penis-shaped dildo, I had almost given up when I came across this guy on Amazon.  For some reason, it has become very difficult to find a dildo that is exactly what I like — guess I’ll have to start making sex toys now.

I like good width, easy maintenance, and no vibration.  Sounds easy.  It isn’t.

The selling points listed for Adam’s PleasureSkin Cock are that it is very wide and feels like real skin.  It boasts a width of 2″ (inches) across and 6.5″ insertable length, with realistic veining on the shaft and balls.  It also features a suction cup for riding or use on the shower wall (or fridge door… bookcase… dining table leg…).

I perused several different dildos that were similar width and length and no vibration.  In my current collection, I have a glass toy for prostate stim, my purple hard-silicone friend Sparkles, and another wide toy that is so heavy I can’t use it… so I’ll donate it to the local Catholic mission.

For my latest toy, I wanted a toy that was realistic in form and feel.  I wanted him to be around 2″ wide, and most importantly, I wanted a toy that wasn’t too heavy — my wrist gets tired lugging a heavy toy around.

I read the reviews on Amazon:

  • “This thing is HUGE.”
  • “…amazing details… so realistic…”
  • “…it was HEAVY… I have NEVER seen such a big penis.”
  • “…it took a WHILE to get half way down, and it was DELICIOUS!”
  • “It didn’t flop over it stood proudly… It is firm, and handles like a ‘real’ penis.”
  • “It felt like I was having sex with another human. So realistic.”
  • “…my orgasms are just as good if not better than the ones I get from my vibrator.”

The reviews were overwhelmingly positive, and even the naysayers were complaining about the very thing I was looking for in a toy (“too huge”).  The two negative aspects they repeated were the chemical smell and the fact that this toy is not for the inexperienced.  After reading all the reviews on Amazon, I decided to get the PleasureSkin Cock which comes in the delightful shade of Cinnamon.

I’m a member of Amazon Prime so the parcel arrived in two days.  As I lifted it out of its discreet packaging, I was amazed at how life-like it looked.  It must have been molded off an actual penis because the asymmetry was perfect (if this had been made by a human, the artist would have tried to make everything symmetrical).  This toy is based on an uncut penis (which I did not know at the time of purchase but was a pleasant surprise), but neither the frenular delta nor the ridged band are overly pronounced (darn it).

The veining is awesome, and the testicles are in the up-and-tense position and include a particular favorite of mine — the testicular raphe.  The head is conical, not bulbous, which I usually prefer, and I would have preferred the head to be bigger (or so I thought).  I’d also prefer the corona to be more pronounced with a deeper sulcus, but I liked what I saw.  My biggest fear came true — this thing is heavy, but with the suction cup option, I assumed I’d use it more passively than “hands on” (or so I thought).  I’ve yet to ride on top of this guy, but that is on my to-do list very soon!

Feeling the “PleasureSkin,” I have to say that it did not feel like real skin to me, and yes, there is a chemical smell.  My opinion of the PleasureSkin changed as I was using it because once it is lubed up, it feels amazingly realistic to the touch.  The texture of this PleasureSkin toy is firm in the center but “gives” under touch the way real penises and flesh do.  Holding the shaft in my hand and feeling how it gave slightly under the pressure has cured me of ever getting a hard silicone or plastic toy ever again.  Just feeling him in my hand feels so good and lifelike, and yes, he really does stand at attention — no flopping over at all!

Cleaning the toy is easy with mild soap and warm water, and the smell is only noticeable if you hold it directly to your nose.  There is no offensive odor wafting in the air during use.  To avoid getting furries and lint on him, I keep this toy in plastic rather than velvet — though I do wash him (and all my toys) before and after every use.

Overall, I cannot recommend this “PleasureSkin Cock” enough!!!  If you are experienced with sex toys, like ‘em wide, and have a strong grip, absolutely nothing can beat Adam’s PleasureSkin Cock in Cinnamon.  For anal use, be sure to use a condom… and when I get brave enough to try this thing for anal penetration, y’all will be the first to know.

The only thing better than this toy is an actual man (who also does laundry and vacuums).  Seriously.  Get this guy!

Stay tuned for my upcoming DailyOJ wherein I describe in detail how my first (and second and third) meeting with the PleasureSkin Cock went…

Now… what should I name him?

trish

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DailyOJ 02-12-13: Sheet Orgasms


nude-woman-redhead-arched-back-in-orgasm-300I’ve found a new way to enjoy my stealth orgasms — the orgasms that are brought on by little or no physical touch.  I wasn’t looking for a new approach to my quieter, yet, oh so fulfilling full-body waves of bliss, and yet I have stumbled upon “sheet orgasms.”

While doing the barest of nipple stim and reveling in delicious nipplegasms, my legs open wide of their own volition.  My hips move in their own dance, and my head is back in breathless euphoria.  With it being colder now, I sleep with my duvet cover on, and I happen to be snuggled under the covers this morning.  I move my hand to my labia, first outer, then inner labia, loving the change in her texture and posture.

My inner labia begin close to my vagina, but as arousal progresses, my inner labia extend upward, outward, as if standing at attention — the frilly edges more taut as they fill with blood in their own erections.  Barely brushing my fingertips across my erect labia, the full-body waves begin, and I feel expansion in my heart chakra.  I’m still amazed that slow, barely-there touch is so fulfilling, and infinitely more tender than hard frigging off.

I’m back on to nipplegasms, having gotten into a pattern of nipplegasms then barely-there gentle-touch clit O’s, and back again.  On the weekends, I do this for hours, not getting out of bed until around 2 p.m. — except on the Saturdays I make a concerted effort to get up by noon to catch the vendors at the farmers’ market.  But this is Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras, and everything is closed.  I can stay in bed all day.

Back arched and head back, the nipplegasms are on auto-loop at this point.  As my knees part wide, falling open 180-degrees on the bed, the weight of the duvet presses the sheet toward me.  The sheet brushes my erect inner labia, and a jolt of energy surges up my body.  I thought it was a fluke, a wonderful accident, but I try it again, lifting my hips slightly.  Sure enough — ZAP!  There it is again.  I lift my hips the same way, and the full-body waves begin.  My hips circle several times, make figure 8′s in both directions as I learned in belly dancing, circle some more, then lift and lower in a plain ol’ back and forth motion.  I am breathless as the stealth orgasms fill me and energy zings up my legs and arms, with that familiar energy spiral in the ball of my left foot, sending energy outward.  The sheet has just become my new boyfriend.

Trying a few things, I learned that once the sheet is in the correct position under the weight of the duvet but not actually resting on my vulva, manipulating the sheet is not required, and any other touch of my genitals is not recommended.  The barely-there brushing of the sheet across my inner labia is all I need to induce these wonderful, deep feelings that can only be described as orgasmic waves that crash against the shore of my body, sending billions of tiny pinpoints of pleasure up through me and expanding outward.

Sheet orgasms… who knew…

Aroused and pricing 1500 thread-count Egyptian cotton,

trish

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NEWS: ArousedWoman Focuses on “Awakening Sexuality in Mind, Body, & Spirit”


Kundalini Crown Chakra AwakeningIf you read my post from the other day, you know ArousedWoman is now 1 year old — and what a year it has been!  I did not set out to create what ArousedWoman has become — I just followed my heart to continue my activism for myself personally and “to stir to action” and “awaken” others to the need for activism for women’s rights and other issues collectively.  And poof!  ArousedWoman is now arousing readers around the world.

As I review everything that’s gone on in 2012, I am re-focusing ArousedWoman for 2013 and beyond.  My activism is definitely still here (sorry, men :-)), but I want to hone in on specifics to awaken people to healthy sexuality and a sex-positive outlook.  Sex is not about control, or pain, or staying quiet to keep the peace in a relationship.  Our sexual happiness is fundamental to our happiness as human beings, and I don’t think true happiness is possible if we’re playing manipulative games within our sexual relationships.

If you’ve read much of my blog, then you’ll know that I approach sexuality from a Tantric perspective, with leanings toward Kundalini and other ancient wisdom.  With so many people trying to find their sexual identity in our 21st century soulless culture, a link to the past is a good grounding for wading through the murky flotsam and getsam of shame, fear, and guilt pervading our Puritanical society.

I think the human body is beautiful.  Sex is beautiful.  Orgasms are beautiful — and natural — and healthy.  With that as my foundation, I am re-focusing ArousedWoman to “Awakening Sexuality in Mind, Body, and Spirit.”

Not just a sex blog, I want to help people on a myriad of levels.  Sexual health begins in the mind, but vitality of the body and spirit are just as crucial to being happy sexually, and in turn, happy in your everyday life.  And my dear atheist readers, don’t get scared by the word “spirit”!  Spirit has nothing to do with religion (religion is an evil pyramid scheme for an elite core of men to gain and maintain their power and wealth).  I may throw some good ol’ pagan sex rite stuff in here occasionally, but trust me, religion is NOT on the menu here!

Orgasm is not just a physical phenomenon but more truly an intangible response of the subtle body and the parasympathetic nervous system.  I will cover some non-traditional aspects of holistic growth such as exploring dreams, meditation, breathing, stress relief, raising energy, shamanism, Tantric bodywork, bioenergetics, the brain vs. the mind, meat-based diet vs. vegetarianism, nutrition, exercise, and controversial topics such as entheogens and polyamory, to name a few.

Beginning this summer, I will be creating videos that address some of the issues and posting them on my new YouTube page.  The videos will cover anatomy, nutrition, exercise, and more topics that I will also cover here in the blog.  Why not sooner, you may ask?  I need to get a video camera with a mic input.  So until I upgrade to an iPhone or shell out some moolah for an actual digicam with a mic input, the videos will be on hold till summer-ish.

And I’m close to announcing the beta test for my orgasm training method, so be sure to sign up for my newsletter for more information on how to apply for that when the time comes.

All in all, I am profoundly grateful for all my new friends I’ve gained in the past year.  It really has been amazing!  Looking ahead, 2013 is destined to be even better.  Stay tuned for exciting developments!

trish


NEWS: ‘ArousedWoman’ Celebrates 1 Year Anniversary


ArousedWoman - icon- sq - 300 pxHey,  everybody!

Hard to believe, but yes, ArousedWoman is now 1 year old. *WOO-HOO!!!*

Last year, I had started my activist site and blog, Activists’ Voice — I even started a radio show to go with that blog. However, with the crazy, misogynist landscape of the 2012 POTUS election, I needed to focus the scope of my activism toward women’s rights and women’s sexual autonomy issues. From that, ArousedWoman was born on Valentine’s Day, 2012.

This has been an incredible year. I’ve met some incredible people through my activism with AW, and I’ve come across some real jerks. Numerous people have told me how my blog has helped their own sexual journey, awakened their awareness to certain issues, as well as let them know they are not alone in their healing from abuse.

My DailyOJ has been called “brave” for its tell-all insights into a woman’s psyche and a woman’s experiences with sex, female anatomy, and multiple orgasms, but I’ve also had so-called liberals dismiss my journey as a “jerk-off blog.” (Whatever.) I let my opinion loose in my OpEd articles, and I’m so honored that readers trust me enough to ask my opinion on their own situations that I answer in my AskTrish series.

While I think society-at-large is a collective 4-year-old having a temper tantrum when it comes to sexual issues, I still think there is hope! And I’m looking forward to the year ahead as ArousedWoman’s path becomes clearer for me and how I want to help others. With the new forum and the radio show I hope to start (soon!), I think ArousedWoman’s upcoming year will be fantastic — thanks in large part to all of you!

Stay tuned as I have new AskTrish posts (with questions from women!), some interesting orgasm experiences to note in my DailyOJ, and a few new reviews of books and music as well as my review of my new sex toy (move over, Sparkles!! j/k :-) ).

Namaste! MWAH!

trish


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