DailyOJ 12-14-11: My Journey from Sexual Abuse & Bad Marriage to Vocal Activist & Orgasm Goddess


Copyright 2011 by Trish Causey.

I am in an experimental time.  While I want the grandest of magickal O’s that my body is capable of, I am enjoying the journey and learning about myself / my self in the process.  Maybe I’ll take the day off today, have practice session tomorrow, then have a solo session, and see what the Orgasm Faery brings.

And yes, I have delicious orgasms now, but this wasn’t always so.  Men only seem to notice the orgasms women have or talk about (or lie about in Cosmo or Penthouse Forum).  But women tend to hide the journey they had to travel to get there — to be able to orgasm at all, much less with a partner, much less have multiple orgasms.  I think this leads to a more important topic which is, “What exactly is the DEFINITION of ORGASM?”  It seems everyone has his or her own definition, and medical definitions tend to be clinical and sterile with no hint at the emotional side of orgasm or the bliss that is possible.  (Which is typical since “Western medicine” was founded by men.)

MY HERSTORY:

I started masturbating when I was 15, and while I liked the arousal (build up of tension) and lead-up to the orgasm (sudden release of tension, localized to the clitoris), I was left with that classic disappointment of “Is that it?  What the hell is all the fuss about?”  And yet, I kept coming back for more, each time hoping that the ecstatic bliss portrayed in romantic movies and romance novels was just over the horizon, if only I could stimulate harder, faster, longer, it could be mine, too.

I truly wish I’d had a women’s circle to belong to, to learn from — to learn how to cherish my female body and female sexuality in a healthy, safe, trusted environment.  Every female should admire and explore her body in front of a big mirror and appreciate her self for the amazing gift that it is.  Likewise, every (straight / bisexual) man should learn to give yoni massage and offer yoni puja on a regular basis.)

I found my G-spot / She Spot in 2001 or 2002-ish, and that made a huge difference because vaginal orgasms are like hot waves that wash over the whole body, rocking you back and forth as they crash against an unseen shore before another wave pushes forth.  The She Spot is part of the female prostate, and at the time, I had no idea what was in store for me once I awakened my prostate — that’s another story in itself!

A clitoral orgasm only took 2 minutes to achieve which was great for getting to sleep really fast at night, but the clitoral orgasm was localized to the clit and generally unrewarding (not anymore, though).  At the time, a She Spot-only orgasm needed an hour to an hour-and-a-half of constant, consistent stimulation to achieve the full-body waves (sans explosive tension release) orgasm.  This was exhausting, and without the explosion, unfulfilling, so ultimately, She Spot orgasms were more frustrating than anything else.  (They were also emotional, whereas clitoral O’s usually are not.)

I was looking for something that could get me great orgasms with less work.  Along the way, I began doing simultaneous stimulation of my clit & G-spot which would bring a pretty nice blended orgasm in about 10 to 20 minutes… but only one.  I wanted LOTS.  (For the record, I’ve got my time down to about 6 minutes, and the multiple orgasms that occur are outstanding… jus’ sayin’…)

I was molested as a child and raped as an adult, so being able to orgasm at all is a truly great accomplishment.  And thankfully, I have little to no mind fuzz because of it.  Anger?  Of course.  But that isn’t productive, so I choose to stay in good energy.  I was also in a very bad marriage for 13 years that was absolutely unsatisfying for me sexually.  In fact, when I did want to participate, he got defensive, accused me of not liking what he was doing — so unless I was on top or giving him a blow-job, I was on my back, just there for him to do whatever he was doing till he came and (thankfully) rolled off me.  Don’t bother asking why I stayed.  Let’s just say, at the time, I couldn’t afford to leave.  I’m happy to report I have been a single mom for a year and a half, making it on my own — thankya, thankya, vurry much!

MY JOURNEY:

I’ve worked very hard to be a fully sexual woman, so I don’t take any orgasm, “small” or “meteoric” for granted.  I appreciate them all.

I’m in tune with myself because I have a long-held activist streak, especially for women and women’s rights, and with that comes pride and the freedom to be a sexual being.  I’ve done years of work on myself to be at the point where I can have sex for no reason other than wanting to feel pleasure, i.e., not to please a man, make him feel better about himself, not to keep a man, or use sex to pretend I’m being loved.  It just so happens that at this point in my life, I want sex with emotion, i.e., to make love, not a casual hook-up with a carnal fuck.

I loved learning Tantra positions and philosophies, but I don’t have a partner right now, so I needed a solo practice. A lot of men don’t understand this, and are jealous of woman’s sexual abilities — which is ridiculous.

Learning to female ejaculate is one PRIME reason I wanted to explore my body even more — to experience female ejaculation, which I have in low doses, but I want the full-out geyser experience.

So when the guys start getting a jealous streak because they think women are getting a “free pass” in the orgasm department, they need to read the research statistics and know that women have as much mental, emotional, psychological, and physical crap to deal with as men.  Just because my erectile tissue is mostly inside my body doesn’t mean I don’t need to learn how to “control” it.  After all, how do you control something you CAN’T see?!  (A lot of inner work and genital yoga, that’s how!)  And since the medical establishment is STILL making discoveries about women’s anatomy and sexual responses, I will continue to enjoy learning as I go.

Taoism, Kundalini, Tantra, and other energy protocols are about much more than orgasm.  You wind up dealing with things you thought you’d buried and hidden so well from the world.  You built really great walls so no one would know.  Then you get the Fu Dogs and Mind Fuzz breaking down your walls from the INSIDE, and you have nowhere to run. I took 4 years off from an active practice because I needed to set my Fu Dogs straight.  I’ve spent years working on my own crap.

Any energy protocol done correctly purges the subconscious self of the ingrained, entrained, brainwashing crap of society, religion, media, previous relationships, et al.  I didn’t want to take 4 years off from my orgasm schooling, but I felt that was what I needed to do.

COSMIC ORGASM:

Right now, I am more interested in the journey to the orgasm.  And I see the journey and the orgasm as a meditation.  I don’t think you can do Taoism, or Kundalini, or Tantra correctly and not learn about yourself while learning about your body’s ability to awaken to orgasm.  I know the higher level energy field of orgasm exists — the cosmic orgasm, and that’s what I want to conjure at will. Orgasm adepts talk about the energy as it moves within their body and that they float in that energy field.  I’ve been there in my astral dreams, but I want to be able to go there any time I desire it.

I just did an interview on my radio show, Musical Theatre Talk, with a master voice teacher who uses healing energy on and for singers.  Hearing her talk about raising, moving, and using energy for the purposes of singing and performing suddenly made a lot of sense to me re: Chi, the Chakras, Tantra, Kundalini serpent unspiraling, the raising / moving of energy the Adepts talk about.  I guess I just needed it in a language I understand — singer-ese.

The orgasms I’ve experienced since starting back with practice a couple months ago are nothing short of soul-stirring.  Even if the journey up to orgasm seems regular sometimes, the last part of the ride is not, and the intensity of my orgasms is beyond anything I’ve experienced prior to this…. And yet, I know there is more to explore — such as female ejaculation and further anal play, just to name a couple items on my to-do list.

And so I’m here.  I’m orgasmic.  I’m vocal.  I’m unapologetic.

Sensual touching has given me a new appreciation of my  breasts (which I always hated) and even my body’s ability to respond to touch.

And thank you, for being brave enough to ask me point-blank questions, and knowing (I hope!) that nothing I wrote is directed at you personally or energetically…. I’m just Irish that way.

Aroused and vocal,
trish

CONNECT:

link-fb-redlink-tw-redlink-yt-redlink-inst-redlink-tmblr-redlink-pin-redlink-peri-redlink-pat-red

One response to “DailyOJ 12-14-11: My Journey from Sexual Abuse & Bad Marriage to Vocal Activist & Orgasm Goddess

Share your thoughts on this post!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s