DailyOJ 07-29-12: Opening the Vagina for Sex


As my fingertips parted the opening of my vagina for the entry of the afternoon tampon, I had a sudden flashback to the days when I had sex — with that asshole husband of mine. So I’m slightly hormonal right now. I could really use a hug — and my pizza — if the fucking pizza guy would fucking hurry up and fucking deliver my fucking pizza already! And there’s no reason for this post except that I — Oh, brownies!

Where was I?

Oh, yes, fingers — vagina — tampon……

One of the great things about having spontaneous and stealth orgasms is that I no longer have to fight the urge to clit stim an O while I’m on my period. Sure, sex and masturbating while on my period are fun — a little slippery and messy, but doable with a towel and the understanding that the cervix is tender so hard fucking probably isn’t gonna happen — sorry, guys, will have to be  * s  l  o  w *  sex, which means it probably will be emotional. That’s not a problem is it?  Is it?!  IS IT?! — What? They don’t do that in porn???  FUCK PORN!

Okay, so most women will not admit to masturbating with a tampon in, but let’s just assume that at least once in her life, a woman has.

Where is that fucking pizza?!

So I have this flashback to this time (one of several) when I was on top and his hands went from my hips to maneuvering a not so subtle reach-around where his fingertips parted my vaginal opening so he could come inside. I didn’t say anything at the time — I should have — but not only does that feel WEIRD, it can also kinda hurt. ASSHOLE!

Here’s the thing… My vagina is smarter than you.

My vagina is an amazing world that still astounds me. She has her own fauna and flora system, her own pH, her own nerve system that bypasses the spinal cord and plugs directly into the brain, is capable of several different kinds of orgasms, different kinds of lubricating fluids, and she’s just fun to play in.

However…. if the vagina isn’t ready for sex — fully, completely ready for sex — she will not be fully open. A vagina that is truly ready for insertion will be literally O P E N — regardless if the insertible is a penis, sex toy, finger, or oblong vegetable! The juices will be flowing, the tissues of the labia and the vagina swollen with arousal, and the opening of the vagina can even be slightly turned outward toward the insert-er as if to say, “My vagina says YES! Come on in!”

Bear in mind that for many women those bits of odd-shaped edges at the vaginal opening are actually the remnants of the hymen. As such, they don’t have any means of getting wet on their own. This is an excellent example of trickle-down lubrication. Vaginal fluid is clear and most easily created by stimulation of the A-Spot near the cervix. The prostate also creates fluid, but it is thicker and less slippery than the clear vaginal fluid. These fluids have to literally “trickle down” to the opening of the vagina in order for the opening to be lubricated as well. So splitting the vaginal opening with the tip of a finger, penis, toy, or cucumber when the vagina is NOT ready for sex can be awkward for the woman, if not downright PAINFUL.

So guys, please… “Foreplay” actually has a function. Foreplay does not exist to make the guy wait to come inside. Without foreplay or some kind of stimulation that really gets the vagina hot and bothered, the beginning of sex can be painful.  (And you perhaps wonder why a woman is a “cold fish” during sex???!!! Just “lays there”????!!!  Well, that happens when your body radiates with pain, asshole!)

Just 15 to 30 minutes of breast worship, sensual massage, yoni puja, and/or cunnilingus will do just fine. The time required will depend on the woman, but since, statistically, the average guy only lasts 2 minutes once he’s inside, I’d think you men would want to drag out the foreplay as much as possible, too.

Please note, however, that a little fluid at the gates doesn’t mean the whole vagina is ready. For me, a few quick stealth O’s only takes seconds to experience, and I can feel the rush of fluid press against the opening tissues. I part the opening carefully with my fingertips — with very short, trimmed nails, thank you! I feel the texture of the fluid and know what kind of fluid it is — usually clear, vaginal. But just being wet doesn’t mean my vagina’s ready for my purple silicone friend, Sparkles.

Men, I love you. Honest. And because you love us, do your woman a favor. Just because you’re ready to come inside doesn’t mean her vagina is ready for company. Enjoy the rest of her — her body, her mind, her sense of humour, her emotions, her humanity — and remember that the woman is more than just a warm, wet respite for your erection.

Fuck… I’ll just make Chess Chewies.

Aroused and opening,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s Daily O.J.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman

2 responses to “DailyOJ 07-29-12: Opening the Vagina for Sex

  1. As for the last paragraph of this post: I fully support your idea—but I’d like to phrase it in a stricter way:
    Guys, when you are in bed with a women, you should have an *intrinsic* desire to pleasure her—as an end in itself(!). You should have an *intrinsic* desire to get to know her, to discover her body, her attitudes etc. If that is *not* the case, odds are you should *not* engage in sexual activities with her at the moment. (Of course, the same applies for partner sex in general, regardless of gender 😉 )

    The thought of men engaging in “foreplay” with the *main goal* to get her partner “ready” for intercourse really pains me 😦

    As for porn etc: It is important to make a sharp distinction between fantasies and real life. It’s perfectly fine to *fantasize* about things you’d never even *want* to do in reality. Fantasies only become a problem if you *neglect* reality in their favor—if you prefer watching porn to discovering your real-life desires in general.

    Sure, some people *do* so. But I think, watching porn usually is a *symptom* of an issue, not a *cause* of it. I believe, anyone who has a mostly healthy sex drive *will not want* to watch porn all the time. And those who *do* so, usually suffer from deeper problems, which they can’t solve simply by abstaining from porn.

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  2. I fully agree with what you are saying. My Motto is :Ladies First. If she has not orgasmed at least once, I need to work more to find out how to please her. I do not get pleasure on my own, it is the two of us together that gives me pleasure. I will start reading along, I may learn something.

    Like

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