DailyOJ 11-13-12: Reality vs. Fantasy


The past few weeks, I have had issues with blended O’s — the few times I’ve done them (right hand on my clit, left hand stimulating my prostate), it’s either taken a long time — 30 minutes, or I’ve given up and gone for my purple silicone buddy, Sparkles.

Mainly, I’ve noticed that I’ve become ambivalent about using Sparkles when my spontaneous orgasms keep me happy all day and my stealth nipplegasms, subtle (one-finger barely moving) clitgasms — even labia-gasms! — are so fulfilling orgasmically that I don’t feel the need for penetration (at the time)… (It’s the rest of my waking hours that I’m horny as all get-out and want something that’s wide and hard inside me!)

I have also noticed that when I go for a length of time without doing the blended orgasms (both hands stimulating), it takes longer to bring myself to orgasm when I get back in to it.  It’s as if I have to stay in practice with it the way a pianist has to stay in practice with the piano to keep up his technique, or the training starts to drain out of the muscle memory.  For these body-centric orgasms, it’s not just my fingers and wrists that have to stay limber to bring about orgasm — my entire body has to “train” for orgasms since they are full-body experiences, especially in the abdominal area, my legs, and glutes.

I’ve been adjusting to the integration of the non-explosion clitoral part of my blended orgasm.  It’s just weird to not feel it.  But these new orgasms are amazing.  Instead of feeling that hot explosion at one very centralized point (the head of the clit), the orgasms feel like a huge, powerful wave crashing against the coastline of my genitals, and I am thunderstruck by their intensity.  With Sparkles, the blended O is very similar, yet even more powerful because of the added sensation of being penetrated and having it stimulate my A-Spot and cervix as well.

During the hands-on stim, I love feeling the changes to my prostate.  She is just awesome!  I’ve even discovered a few new  spots within my prostate!  I’m learning their signals, what it means orgasmically when I start to feel them emerging from the rougher texture of my aroused prostate.  One of these spots is toward the left, the other two are toward the sides of the prostate (which is very important to stimulate as well!), along with my already discovered She Spot.

What’s been interesting to me has been my legs.  A few minutes in to each hands-on session, my legs start shaking wildly, uncontrollably.  I feel my glutes clenching and unclenching.  My hips are rocking, reaching up repeatedly in their own rhythm. And here is where the problem begins…

Since I’ve got the physical part of the stimulation down, I’ve been trying to enjoy some fantasy time in my mind during arousal.  Usually, I try to picture my Dream Man being the one to do all this stimulation (which would be much easier on my wrists if he were!).  But I’m so in awe of the changes in, on, through my body that my mind doesn’t want to leave all this awareness of my body’s process to climax.  As soon as I try picturing Mr. Dream Man, I lose some of the arousal (slightly).  For some reason, I’m not interested in thinking of women… so that’s another issue to deal with another day…

I don’t do “fantasy” — as in made-up time, place, setting.  And I know instinctively that it would not work for me, so no, I won’t try.

Between the extended time to orgasm via hands-on stim, not craving penetrative Sparkles sex, and loving my body’s changes more than I lust after my Dream Man, I know I’m at a crossroads.  Don’t know what’s around the corner, but I’m taking a peek and will meet it head-on… and hands on. 🙂

Aroused and feeling,

trish

For more of my personal orgasm journey, read Trish’s DailyOJ.
Visit the AW site: Aroused Woman

One response to “DailyOJ 11-13-12: Reality vs. Fantasy

  1. Fantasy *lowering* your arousal makes a lot of sense to me. Even a sexual fantasy *does* distract you from the here and know, after all (i.e. from your physical stimulation):-(

    Have you ever tried fantasizing about your Dream Man when, in reality, you were *not* doing any *physical* stimulation? In that case, you could focus your awareness entirely *on this fantasy*.

    I for one did glide into sexual fantasies a few times when I was trying to fall asleep. Some of those events were… well: quite stimulating and memorable 😀

    Like

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